A/N: Ack! Sorry. The weekend was really fun. LOTS of babysitting and hanging out with my best mellon (friend...for some reason I just think it's the funniest thing that the word friend is mellon in elvish...yeeee). I did have to paint a couple of pictures for a project and that wasn't fun. I'm a terrible artist. ANYWAY...I know I talk too much...here is the next chapter. I know you guys don't really care about this one, but you're just going to have to wait for Frodo and Aragorn. Hopefully, you'll find this one slightly amusing.
Sam paced around the classroom for what seemed like the hundredth time to Merry who was seated in a big plastic chair next to the counter. "Sam, would you please stop doing that?"
"Stop doing what?"
"Stop walking around like that!"
"Why?"
"Because it's annoying!"
"Why?"
"Because it just is!"
"But why?"
"Why are you acting like this?"
"Because you're getting all on my back for walking!"
"You're not just walking! You're like, pacing around in circles and it's aggravating me!"
"But I don't understand WHY it's aggravating you!"
"IT JUST IS!"
"BUT WHY?"
"Because...it's just so-"
"UNIFORMS!!!!!!!!!"
Sam and Merry jumped and turned around.
Elrond pranced into the room. "I have some lovely uniforms for you to wear now that you are official employees of-"
"Employees? You mean we're getting paid?" Merry said eagerly.
"Um...no." Elrond cleared his throat. "But you are getting to wear these lovely uniforms." He held up the uniforms. "See? They're pink!"
"PINK!?!" Merry cried in disgust.
"Yes. Gimli likes pink."
"I'm sure he does, but-"
Sam cut in, "Now Merry, don't argue with Lord Elrond!"
"I'll do what I want to!"
"Boys, boys!" Elrond shook his finger at them. "Mustn't argue in front of the children. They'll get the wrong idea. Now, put on your uniforms, and I'll be coming back at some point to make sure you're still wearing them! Have a great day!" Elrond pranced back out of the room.
Sam and Merry looked at each other and shrugged. Elrond sure was a weird guy. Then they each grabbed a uniform and put it on.
"Hey Merry!"
"Yeah?"
"You're wearing my uniform!"
"How do you know?"
"Because it has my name on the back!"
"Fine." Merry took off his uniform and handed it to Sam, and Sam did the same.
"Hey look! I'm a primary caregiver! I wonder what that means..." Sam turned to Merry. "Are you a primary caregiver too?"
Merry turned his uniform over. It read 'Meriadoc Brandybuck: Secondary Caregiver-Two-Year-Olds,' "No, I'm a secondary caregiver." Said Merry. "I wonder what that means too."
"I think I know! It means I'm in charge and you're just here to help me if I need it!" Sam cried, ecstatic. He started pacing around the room again. "Wow. I've never been in charge before! This will be so much fun! It'll be just like going on that mission to destroy the ring, except this time I'm going to be Mr. Frodo, and you're going to be me!" he said to Merry.
"And we're babysitting." Merry said bluntly.
"What's that got to do with anything?"
"Well," said Merry, "last time you and Frodo were trying to destroy the most evil thing in the world to save Middle Earth, but this time you're just teaching pre-school!"
Sam drew himself up to his full height, which wasn't very tall, and puffed out his chest. "Just teaching pre-school? JUST teaching pre-school? Do you know what a wonderful service we are doing for Lord Elrond? DO YOU KNOW what a great deed we are doing for the elves of Middle Earth? They need us! AND WE WILL DELIVER! In a way, this could mean just as much as taking the ring to Mount Doom!"
"I'm sure." said Merry.
"What are you so sure about?" a voice demanded from behind him.
Merry turned to see three elves standing at the door, all with at least four children in tow, one of them pushing a quadruple stroller. "Um..." he said.
The one with the stroller scowled at him. "Because I wouldn't be so sure if I were you." she said accusingly.
Another elf laid a hand on her arm. "Now, never you mind about him!" she smiled at Merry. "She hasn't had her coffee this morning, she just woke up." She turned back to the glowering elf. "Come on, we'll just leave these babies here and then we can head off to the cafŽ for your latte. Could you come help me get these kids in here, sweetheart?" she added to Merry.
"No, no, Merry! Stay put!" Sam rushed over and threw his arm out to stop Merry from taking another step. "I'm the primary caregiver, I'll handle this!"
Merry glared at him, but Sam was paying no attention. He was busy helping the children get settled into the room.
Merry walked off into a corner of the room to sulk. He hadn't been there long, when he heard an earsplitting shriek, and one of the children began to wail.
"Merry, come here!"
"What?" he snapped.
"Do you know how to make kids stop crying?"
"I thought you were the primary caregiver. Shouldn't you know this stuff?" Merry spat.
Sam's face turned red. "Yes, well, you see-"
"Never mind." Merry turned his back on Sam and walked over to the little girl who was crying. He sat down next to her and pulled her into his lap. "What's the matter? Was the primary caregiver mean to you?" he asked very loudly, so as to make sure that Sam heard him.
The little girl just kept crying.
Merry put his arms around her and rocked back and forth. Gradually, she began to quiet down. "What's your name?" Merry asked her.
"S-Selda." she replied in a soft, high voice.
"Selda, do you want to go play with the other kids?" asked Sam, who had been watching Merry very closely.
Selda twisted around in Merry's lap and buried her head in his shoulder.
"I think that means no." Merry said pointedly. "Why don't you go and supervise some of the kids over there?"
"An excellent idea. They do need supervision!" Sam scurried over to the reading corner where about six children were playing together very nicely and not looking the slightest bit in need of supervision.
"Selda, are you alright now?" Merry asked her quietly.
"No. He's a...a scary...big...and scary and mean." She babbled.
"You're right about that." Merry muttered.
As this was taking place, more children were being dropped off. By seven o'clock, all thirty-five of the expected two-year-olds were running around and playing together. A large group had gathered around Merry who was entertaining them with a story about at time that he and Pippin had almost been caught stealing vegetables from Farmer Maggot's field.
"So we were running through the field, and then we heard all of this barking, see, because Farmer Maggot had let his dogs loose, and so we-"
"Merry, what are you doing?"
"Merry rolled his eyes which made Selda giggle. "I'm telling a story, O Primary One. Is there a problem with that?"
"Now, now, you really mustn't be disrespectful like that. I may have to send you to time out."
"Sam, you can't send me to time out just because you're 'primary'. It doesn't work that way!"
"I can and I will if you say anything else that is disrespectful. Now, continue with your story if you must."
Merry turned back to the children. "So anyway, we were running away from these dogs, and-"
"Merry!"
"What?" he snapped.
"Um, can you take this girl to the bathroom?"
"You're the primary caregiver. I'm surprised you'd trust me with something like that."
"Well, normally I wouldn't, but I don't want to leave you here with all of these kids by yourself."
"Fine, whatever." Merry stood up to leave, when Selda let out a wail. The rest of the children who had been sitting with Merry began crying also. Two of them latched onto Merry's legs and wouldn't let go. "Shh! It's okay, I'm coming right back!" he said. This just made them cry harder.
Sam's face went white. "You know, on the other hand Merry, I think you'll be okay if it's just for a couple of minutes." Sam took the hand of a little girl and guided her to the door of the classroom.
From the safety of Merry's lap, Selda watched as he passed by and said "You're a meanie!" in a barely audible voice.
"It's a good thing he didn't hear that." Merry scolded her. "He would have been very angry!"
Soon, Sam returned to the classroom and the two caregivers watched the children play as the tension between them mounted. "Okay, time for cookies." Sam said.
"Cookies? But it's eight o'clock in the morning!"
"So?"
"Well, shouldn't we wait until they get hungry to give them some cookies?"
"No."
"Okay, fine. You're the primary caregiver." Merry said sarcastically, "But I don't think it's a very good idea."
"You just wait and see. You keep acting like you know more about kids than I do, but you don't. Besides, I've got a big notebook full of suggestions and you don't, so there!"
Merry stood in the corner and watched uneasily as Sam handed out cookie after cookie to the children. "Well, one thing you can say about Elrond is that he does stay true to his word." He muttered to himself. Elrond had indeed given them PLENTY of cookies. There were three whole cabinets containing nothing but cookies, and a few more drawers full of a DIFFERENT BRAND of cookies...Elrond really supported those girl scouts.
Merry sighed and pulled a chair up in front of him so that he could sit down and watch the children slowly succumb to the power of too much sugar, and be entertained by viewing Sam's reaction to it all. "Sam DOES NOT know more about kids than I do." He grumbled spitefully.
A few minutes later, Selda, who seemed to have grown tired of cookies, came to sit on Merry's lap and observe the action that was to come. Merry smiled and bounced her up and down on his knee. She giggled and clapped her hands. Soon, the two star-struck lovers (okay, not really. That's actually pretty nasty; I was just kidding) had become absorbed in a game of peek-a-boo and sing-song time. There were in the middle of the sixteenth verse of "If You're Happy and You Know It" when they were very rudely interrupted.
"If you're happy and you know it flutter your eyelashes!" flutter flutter. "If you're happy and you know it flutter your eyelashes!" flutter flutter. "If you're happy and you know it, then your face will-"
"MERRY!"
Merry stared at Sam coldly. "What do you want now?"
"Merry, I think these kids have had too much sugar."
"Do you really?" Merry asked.
"Yes."
"And whose fault would that be?"
Sam glared at Merry. "Listen, they need to let some of their energy out, so I think we should take them outside for a little while."
"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?" Merry screamed.
"What? No!" Sam said. "I just think they need to let out their energy!"
"Sam, there is no fenced in place in Rivendell. The kids will run wild like maniacs and we will never be able to find them all again."
"Listen, I'm the primary caregiver and I say that we're letting the kids outside to play, so we are, no questions asked."
"Okay, but if anything bad happens, it's your fault. You're the primary caregiver after all." Merry said.
They spent about twenty minutes trying to get all of the kids lined up and ready to go outside. Their first few attempts were quite unsuccessful because the children were practically bouncing off the walls, but they finally managed to accomplish the task, and Sam led them down the hallway. Merry, holding Selda's hand, brought up the rear. As they passed the other classes, he could hear lots of sounds coming from inside. The three-year-old class did not seem at all okay, and neither did the babies. "I feel so bad for Pippin, Selda!" Merry said to her.
"Uh-huh!" she said brightly.
"I knew you wouldn't understand that. But you know what, Sam isn't really turning out to be a whole lot better than Gandalf."
"Mommy." Said Selda. She was quiet for a moment. "What your name?" she asked, looking up at Merry.
Merry held the front door to let the children exit. "My name is Merry." He said, smiling.
"May!" she screeched.
"No, silly! Merry! Mer-ry."
"Mer-ry."
"Right!" he cried, thoroughly pleased. "Wow, look at me. I'm having a conversation with a two-year-old. Never thought that would happen."
Merry breathed the fresh air in. Although he knew they shouldn't be out here, it was nice to get out of the hot, stuffy room in the House of Elrond's Childcare Center. 'That's such a stupid name.' He thought to himself. 'Nobody from the House of Elrond works there. Well, except for Aragorn but he doesn't really count because he's not really an elf.'
Sam ran up to Merry. Selda, seeing him coming, quickly let go of Merry's hand and ran away. "Merry, we have to keep track of these kids. Just keep counting them, and tell me if you get something less than thirty-five, okay!"
Merry gaped at him. "You mean you actually want me to keep track of thirty-five two-year-olds in a totally non-restricted area for like...an hour?"
"Actually, I was thinking more like two hours."
"You keep track of them. I'm sure that since I'm not the primary caregiver, I can't count well enough for your standards."
"Why are you being so difficult?"
"Why are YOU being so difficult?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about! The whole PRIMARY caregiver thing!"
"What?"
"Don't act like you don't know! You've been acting all weird ever since you got to be primary!"
"I haven't been acting weird! I've been being responsible!"
"Yeah, really responsible giving them all that sugar!"
"Well what would you have done?"
"I would have waited until they were hungry and then given them like, two or three cookies each."
"Well..."
"And if I were you now, I would get all of these kids inside RIGHT NOW!"
"Okay..." said Sam. "Maybe that is a good idea."
"Okay, here's what we'll do. Since you're the PRIMARY caregiver, you can look for the kids. As soon as you find them, send them inside. I'll be standing in the hallway keeping count, does that sound like a good idea?"
"Yes." Said Sam meekly.
"Alright, lets get started." Sam and Merry rounded up all of the children that were in their sight and took them inside. Merry counted them. "Twenty-six. Nine more."
"Alright..." said Sam uneasily. He headed back outside to hunt down some more children.
Meanwhile, inside the building, Merry was having trouble trying to keep the kids quiet. "Okay, sit down and I'll tell you another story!" he said. It worked almost immediately. "Wow, I'm really good with kids" he mused. "Okay, I'm going to tell you about a good friend of mine, Frodo Baggins, and how he and Mr. Sam helped save the world from evil."
At that moment, the door opened, and Sam walked in, two elf children in tow. "These two were up a tree. It took me forever to get them down!" he said.
"Okay, that makes twenty-eight, only seven more." He turned back to the children. "Once there was a ring. A very evil ring. And if you put it on, it made you invisible."
A couple hours later, Merry was sitting inside with thirty-four children. Sam had been searching for what seemed like forever for the thirty-fifth and just couldn't seem to find him/her.
"Okay, well maybe if we knew which one it was we would have a better idea of where to look."
"Alright." Said Merry. "Let's see, who's missing...was it the little boy who always sucked his thumb?"
"No, he's over in the far corner."
"Oh. How about the fussy little girl with the pierced ears?"
"No, she's right behind you. Maybe it's the one who ate fifteen cookies."
"Does he have chocolate smeared all over his face?"
"Yes."
"Then it's not him. He's right here."
"Oh. What about the one who was always on your lap?"
"Selda?" asked Merry fearfully.
"Yeah."
"I haven't seen her lately..." he looked around frantically. "And she's not here! You have to find her!"
"She's scared of me!"
"So are all these kids!"
"Okay, don't panic!"
"I'm panicking!"
"DON'T!"
"I CAN'T HELP IT!"
"No, just listen. Here's what we're going to do, we'll go to all of the classrooms and ask them if they've seen her, or if they'll help us look." Sam said. He turned towards the baby classroom and put his hand on the doorknob. "You know, we actually may not want to disturb Gandalf..." he said lamely.
"That's a really good point. Let's try the one-year-olds." Said Merry.
So they asked the one-year-olds and the three-year-olds and were not received very warmly in either classroom. "They do have their own classes to worry about." Merry said in a hollow voice. "Let's just go back to our classroom and hope she turns up. There's nothing else we can do."
They finally got all of the kids back in the classroom, and Merry sat down. He was really worried about Selda. She was such a sweet little girl and he really hoped that nothing bad had happened to her. He heard a knock on the door and stood up to answer it.
Aragorn was standing in the doorway looking extremely hassled and very tired. "Hey, can Frodo and I borrow some cookies?"
"Sure." Said Merry.
Sam rushed up to join them. "Now Merry, that's not your decision to make!"
Merry turned away from Sam, completely disgusted, and walked to the other side of the classroom. He sat down on the floor, and immediately, a little boy walked up to him holding a book. "Read." He commanded.
"Yes sir!" said Merry. He saluted.
The little boy giggled.
"Okay, we're reading 'The Teddy Bear Parade'. Wow, sounds fascinating."
"Merry, what are you doing?"
"I'm reading a book, but perhaps you'd like to take over for me, seeing as you are the primary caregiver and therefore the ruler of the earth and sky." He handed Sam the book, and stood up abruptly. He turned his head slightly to see Aragorn pulling box after box of cookies down from the shelf and looking from side to side nervously. Merry just shook his head and grinned. 'He needs those cookies more than we do.' He said to himself.
"SAMWISE GAMGEE!"
Merry jumped and spun around. Elrond strode into the room. Merry quickly turned around so that Elrond wouldn't see him. If he was going to get mad, he better get mad at Sam.
"Yes...yes sir?" squeaked Sam.
"Does this child belong in your class?" Elrond demanded. "She interrupted my council!"
Merry gasped and turned around. Elrond released the little girl he was holding on to, and she ran straight for Merry. He knelt down. "SELDA!" he cried. She ran into his arms and buried her head in his shoulder.
Sam began to walk towards Merry.
"Samwise Gamgee, don't even think about it!" Elrond said, a strong hint of warning in his voice. "We have some things to discuss."
Merry stood up and walked over to his chair, Selda following close behind. He noticed Aragorn slip out the door, carrying about ten boxes of cookies.
"What sorts of things, sir?" Sam asked timidly.
"To be honest with you, I can't say that I'm impressed by your performance as a primary caregiver." Elrond said sharply. "You lost one of the children. She somehow wandered over to the meeting hall, crying all the way and asking for Merry, and she interrupted a very important council with Lord Celeborn of Lothlorien. I had to bring her back here myself, and it was quite embarrassing."
"I'm sorry sir, it won't happen again." Sam whispered.
"No, it most certainly won't," said Elrond, "because I am now pronouncing Mr. Brandybuck the primary caregiver. I will get your uniforms changed tomorrow. Hopefully Merry will prove to be much more responsible than you were."
"But...but Lord Elrond-"
"No buts about it, Samwise. You lost your chance." With that, he strode out of the room leaving a very dejected-looking Sam behind him.
"He's so mean!" Sam cried.
"What are you talking about?" Merry asked.
"I wanted to be primary caregiver so bad, and now I'm not anymore! I don't get to be in charge! I DON'T GET TO DO ANYTHING!"
"Of course you'll get to do things. I'll make sure of it!" said Merry. "In fact, why don't you get started now. We need to have this whole room cleaned up before the parents arrive to get the children."
Sam pouted for a minute. "Meanie-head." Then he began to clean up the room.
The rest of the day passed uneventfully. By five-thirty, all of the children had been taken home by random parents who were definitely not the same ones who had dropped them off. The room was completely clean. Sam had done a very good job.
Elrond leaned into the classroom. "Come on, we're having a council to discuss your first day at work!"
Sam groaned and Merry rolled his eyes.
"Stop whining, I happen to enjoy councils!" said Elrond.
"I'm sure you do."
A/N: Okay, so there it was. Next chapter: Frodo and Aragorn. I don't think I'll be able to post it tomorrow, I'll probably need to put it up on Wednesday. Anyhoozles, have a nice day!
Sam paced around the classroom for what seemed like the hundredth time to Merry who was seated in a big plastic chair next to the counter. "Sam, would you please stop doing that?"
"Stop doing what?"
"Stop walking around like that!"
"Why?"
"Because it's annoying!"
"Why?"
"Because it just is!"
"But why?"
"Why are you acting like this?"
"Because you're getting all on my back for walking!"
"You're not just walking! You're like, pacing around in circles and it's aggravating me!"
"But I don't understand WHY it's aggravating you!"
"IT JUST IS!"
"BUT WHY?"
"Because...it's just so-"
"UNIFORMS!!!!!!!!!"
Sam and Merry jumped and turned around.
Elrond pranced into the room. "I have some lovely uniforms for you to wear now that you are official employees of-"
"Employees? You mean we're getting paid?" Merry said eagerly.
"Um...no." Elrond cleared his throat. "But you are getting to wear these lovely uniforms." He held up the uniforms. "See? They're pink!"
"PINK!?!" Merry cried in disgust.
"Yes. Gimli likes pink."
"I'm sure he does, but-"
Sam cut in, "Now Merry, don't argue with Lord Elrond!"
"I'll do what I want to!"
"Boys, boys!" Elrond shook his finger at them. "Mustn't argue in front of the children. They'll get the wrong idea. Now, put on your uniforms, and I'll be coming back at some point to make sure you're still wearing them! Have a great day!" Elrond pranced back out of the room.
Sam and Merry looked at each other and shrugged. Elrond sure was a weird guy. Then they each grabbed a uniform and put it on.
"Hey Merry!"
"Yeah?"
"You're wearing my uniform!"
"How do you know?"
"Because it has my name on the back!"
"Fine." Merry took off his uniform and handed it to Sam, and Sam did the same.
"Hey look! I'm a primary caregiver! I wonder what that means..." Sam turned to Merry. "Are you a primary caregiver too?"
Merry turned his uniform over. It read 'Meriadoc Brandybuck: Secondary Caregiver-Two-Year-Olds,' "No, I'm a secondary caregiver." Said Merry. "I wonder what that means too."
"I think I know! It means I'm in charge and you're just here to help me if I need it!" Sam cried, ecstatic. He started pacing around the room again. "Wow. I've never been in charge before! This will be so much fun! It'll be just like going on that mission to destroy the ring, except this time I'm going to be Mr. Frodo, and you're going to be me!" he said to Merry.
"And we're babysitting." Merry said bluntly.
"What's that got to do with anything?"
"Well," said Merry, "last time you and Frodo were trying to destroy the most evil thing in the world to save Middle Earth, but this time you're just teaching pre-school!"
Sam drew himself up to his full height, which wasn't very tall, and puffed out his chest. "Just teaching pre-school? JUST teaching pre-school? Do you know what a wonderful service we are doing for Lord Elrond? DO YOU KNOW what a great deed we are doing for the elves of Middle Earth? They need us! AND WE WILL DELIVER! In a way, this could mean just as much as taking the ring to Mount Doom!"
"I'm sure." said Merry.
"What are you so sure about?" a voice demanded from behind him.
Merry turned to see three elves standing at the door, all with at least four children in tow, one of them pushing a quadruple stroller. "Um..." he said.
The one with the stroller scowled at him. "Because I wouldn't be so sure if I were you." she said accusingly.
Another elf laid a hand on her arm. "Now, never you mind about him!" she smiled at Merry. "She hasn't had her coffee this morning, she just woke up." She turned back to the glowering elf. "Come on, we'll just leave these babies here and then we can head off to the cafŽ for your latte. Could you come help me get these kids in here, sweetheart?" she added to Merry.
"No, no, Merry! Stay put!" Sam rushed over and threw his arm out to stop Merry from taking another step. "I'm the primary caregiver, I'll handle this!"
Merry glared at him, but Sam was paying no attention. He was busy helping the children get settled into the room.
Merry walked off into a corner of the room to sulk. He hadn't been there long, when he heard an earsplitting shriek, and one of the children began to wail.
"Merry, come here!"
"What?" he snapped.
"Do you know how to make kids stop crying?"
"I thought you were the primary caregiver. Shouldn't you know this stuff?" Merry spat.
Sam's face turned red. "Yes, well, you see-"
"Never mind." Merry turned his back on Sam and walked over to the little girl who was crying. He sat down next to her and pulled her into his lap. "What's the matter? Was the primary caregiver mean to you?" he asked very loudly, so as to make sure that Sam heard him.
The little girl just kept crying.
Merry put his arms around her and rocked back and forth. Gradually, she began to quiet down. "What's your name?" Merry asked her.
"S-Selda." she replied in a soft, high voice.
"Selda, do you want to go play with the other kids?" asked Sam, who had been watching Merry very closely.
Selda twisted around in Merry's lap and buried her head in his shoulder.
"I think that means no." Merry said pointedly. "Why don't you go and supervise some of the kids over there?"
"An excellent idea. They do need supervision!" Sam scurried over to the reading corner where about six children were playing together very nicely and not looking the slightest bit in need of supervision.
"Selda, are you alright now?" Merry asked her quietly.
"No. He's a...a scary...big...and scary and mean." She babbled.
"You're right about that." Merry muttered.
As this was taking place, more children were being dropped off. By seven o'clock, all thirty-five of the expected two-year-olds were running around and playing together. A large group had gathered around Merry who was entertaining them with a story about at time that he and Pippin had almost been caught stealing vegetables from Farmer Maggot's field.
"So we were running through the field, and then we heard all of this barking, see, because Farmer Maggot had let his dogs loose, and so we-"
"Merry, what are you doing?"
"Merry rolled his eyes which made Selda giggle. "I'm telling a story, O Primary One. Is there a problem with that?"
"Now, now, you really mustn't be disrespectful like that. I may have to send you to time out."
"Sam, you can't send me to time out just because you're 'primary'. It doesn't work that way!"
"I can and I will if you say anything else that is disrespectful. Now, continue with your story if you must."
Merry turned back to the children. "So anyway, we were running away from these dogs, and-"
"Merry!"
"What?" he snapped.
"Um, can you take this girl to the bathroom?"
"You're the primary caregiver. I'm surprised you'd trust me with something like that."
"Well, normally I wouldn't, but I don't want to leave you here with all of these kids by yourself."
"Fine, whatever." Merry stood up to leave, when Selda let out a wail. The rest of the children who had been sitting with Merry began crying also. Two of them latched onto Merry's legs and wouldn't let go. "Shh! It's okay, I'm coming right back!" he said. This just made them cry harder.
Sam's face went white. "You know, on the other hand Merry, I think you'll be okay if it's just for a couple of minutes." Sam took the hand of a little girl and guided her to the door of the classroom.
From the safety of Merry's lap, Selda watched as he passed by and said "You're a meanie!" in a barely audible voice.
"It's a good thing he didn't hear that." Merry scolded her. "He would have been very angry!"
Soon, Sam returned to the classroom and the two caregivers watched the children play as the tension between them mounted. "Okay, time for cookies." Sam said.
"Cookies? But it's eight o'clock in the morning!"
"So?"
"Well, shouldn't we wait until they get hungry to give them some cookies?"
"No."
"Okay, fine. You're the primary caregiver." Merry said sarcastically, "But I don't think it's a very good idea."
"You just wait and see. You keep acting like you know more about kids than I do, but you don't. Besides, I've got a big notebook full of suggestions and you don't, so there!"
Merry stood in the corner and watched uneasily as Sam handed out cookie after cookie to the children. "Well, one thing you can say about Elrond is that he does stay true to his word." He muttered to himself. Elrond had indeed given them PLENTY of cookies. There were three whole cabinets containing nothing but cookies, and a few more drawers full of a DIFFERENT BRAND of cookies...Elrond really supported those girl scouts.
Merry sighed and pulled a chair up in front of him so that he could sit down and watch the children slowly succumb to the power of too much sugar, and be entertained by viewing Sam's reaction to it all. "Sam DOES NOT know more about kids than I do." He grumbled spitefully.
A few minutes later, Selda, who seemed to have grown tired of cookies, came to sit on Merry's lap and observe the action that was to come. Merry smiled and bounced her up and down on his knee. She giggled and clapped her hands. Soon, the two star-struck lovers (okay, not really. That's actually pretty nasty; I was just kidding) had become absorbed in a game of peek-a-boo and sing-song time. There were in the middle of the sixteenth verse of "If You're Happy and You Know It" when they were very rudely interrupted.
"If you're happy and you know it flutter your eyelashes!" flutter flutter. "If you're happy and you know it flutter your eyelashes!" flutter flutter. "If you're happy and you know it, then your face will-"
"MERRY!"
Merry stared at Sam coldly. "What do you want now?"
"Merry, I think these kids have had too much sugar."
"Do you really?" Merry asked.
"Yes."
"And whose fault would that be?"
Sam glared at Merry. "Listen, they need to let some of their energy out, so I think we should take them outside for a little while."
"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?" Merry screamed.
"What? No!" Sam said. "I just think they need to let out their energy!"
"Sam, there is no fenced in place in Rivendell. The kids will run wild like maniacs and we will never be able to find them all again."
"Listen, I'm the primary caregiver and I say that we're letting the kids outside to play, so we are, no questions asked."
"Okay, but if anything bad happens, it's your fault. You're the primary caregiver after all." Merry said.
They spent about twenty minutes trying to get all of the kids lined up and ready to go outside. Their first few attempts were quite unsuccessful because the children were practically bouncing off the walls, but they finally managed to accomplish the task, and Sam led them down the hallway. Merry, holding Selda's hand, brought up the rear. As they passed the other classes, he could hear lots of sounds coming from inside. The three-year-old class did not seem at all okay, and neither did the babies. "I feel so bad for Pippin, Selda!" Merry said to her.
"Uh-huh!" she said brightly.
"I knew you wouldn't understand that. But you know what, Sam isn't really turning out to be a whole lot better than Gandalf."
"Mommy." Said Selda. She was quiet for a moment. "What your name?" she asked, looking up at Merry.
Merry held the front door to let the children exit. "My name is Merry." He said, smiling.
"May!" she screeched.
"No, silly! Merry! Mer-ry."
"Mer-ry."
"Right!" he cried, thoroughly pleased. "Wow, look at me. I'm having a conversation with a two-year-old. Never thought that would happen."
Merry breathed the fresh air in. Although he knew they shouldn't be out here, it was nice to get out of the hot, stuffy room in the House of Elrond's Childcare Center. 'That's such a stupid name.' He thought to himself. 'Nobody from the House of Elrond works there. Well, except for Aragorn but he doesn't really count because he's not really an elf.'
Sam ran up to Merry. Selda, seeing him coming, quickly let go of Merry's hand and ran away. "Merry, we have to keep track of these kids. Just keep counting them, and tell me if you get something less than thirty-five, okay!"
Merry gaped at him. "You mean you actually want me to keep track of thirty-five two-year-olds in a totally non-restricted area for like...an hour?"
"Actually, I was thinking more like two hours."
"You keep track of them. I'm sure that since I'm not the primary caregiver, I can't count well enough for your standards."
"Why are you being so difficult?"
"Why are YOU being so difficult?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about! The whole PRIMARY caregiver thing!"
"What?"
"Don't act like you don't know! You've been acting all weird ever since you got to be primary!"
"I haven't been acting weird! I've been being responsible!"
"Yeah, really responsible giving them all that sugar!"
"Well what would you have done?"
"I would have waited until they were hungry and then given them like, two or three cookies each."
"Well..."
"And if I were you now, I would get all of these kids inside RIGHT NOW!"
"Okay..." said Sam. "Maybe that is a good idea."
"Okay, here's what we'll do. Since you're the PRIMARY caregiver, you can look for the kids. As soon as you find them, send them inside. I'll be standing in the hallway keeping count, does that sound like a good idea?"
"Yes." Said Sam meekly.
"Alright, lets get started." Sam and Merry rounded up all of the children that were in their sight and took them inside. Merry counted them. "Twenty-six. Nine more."
"Alright..." said Sam uneasily. He headed back outside to hunt down some more children.
Meanwhile, inside the building, Merry was having trouble trying to keep the kids quiet. "Okay, sit down and I'll tell you another story!" he said. It worked almost immediately. "Wow, I'm really good with kids" he mused. "Okay, I'm going to tell you about a good friend of mine, Frodo Baggins, and how he and Mr. Sam helped save the world from evil."
At that moment, the door opened, and Sam walked in, two elf children in tow. "These two were up a tree. It took me forever to get them down!" he said.
"Okay, that makes twenty-eight, only seven more." He turned back to the children. "Once there was a ring. A very evil ring. And if you put it on, it made you invisible."
A couple hours later, Merry was sitting inside with thirty-four children. Sam had been searching for what seemed like forever for the thirty-fifth and just couldn't seem to find him/her.
"Okay, well maybe if we knew which one it was we would have a better idea of where to look."
"Alright." Said Merry. "Let's see, who's missing...was it the little boy who always sucked his thumb?"
"No, he's over in the far corner."
"Oh. How about the fussy little girl with the pierced ears?"
"No, she's right behind you. Maybe it's the one who ate fifteen cookies."
"Does he have chocolate smeared all over his face?"
"Yes."
"Then it's not him. He's right here."
"Oh. What about the one who was always on your lap?"
"Selda?" asked Merry fearfully.
"Yeah."
"I haven't seen her lately..." he looked around frantically. "And she's not here! You have to find her!"
"She's scared of me!"
"So are all these kids!"
"Okay, don't panic!"
"I'm panicking!"
"DON'T!"
"I CAN'T HELP IT!"
"No, just listen. Here's what we're going to do, we'll go to all of the classrooms and ask them if they've seen her, or if they'll help us look." Sam said. He turned towards the baby classroom and put his hand on the doorknob. "You know, we actually may not want to disturb Gandalf..." he said lamely.
"That's a really good point. Let's try the one-year-olds." Said Merry.
So they asked the one-year-olds and the three-year-olds and were not received very warmly in either classroom. "They do have their own classes to worry about." Merry said in a hollow voice. "Let's just go back to our classroom and hope she turns up. There's nothing else we can do."
They finally got all of the kids back in the classroom, and Merry sat down. He was really worried about Selda. She was such a sweet little girl and he really hoped that nothing bad had happened to her. He heard a knock on the door and stood up to answer it.
Aragorn was standing in the doorway looking extremely hassled and very tired. "Hey, can Frodo and I borrow some cookies?"
"Sure." Said Merry.
Sam rushed up to join them. "Now Merry, that's not your decision to make!"
Merry turned away from Sam, completely disgusted, and walked to the other side of the classroom. He sat down on the floor, and immediately, a little boy walked up to him holding a book. "Read." He commanded.
"Yes sir!" said Merry. He saluted.
The little boy giggled.
"Okay, we're reading 'The Teddy Bear Parade'. Wow, sounds fascinating."
"Merry, what are you doing?"
"I'm reading a book, but perhaps you'd like to take over for me, seeing as you are the primary caregiver and therefore the ruler of the earth and sky." He handed Sam the book, and stood up abruptly. He turned his head slightly to see Aragorn pulling box after box of cookies down from the shelf and looking from side to side nervously. Merry just shook his head and grinned. 'He needs those cookies more than we do.' He said to himself.
"SAMWISE GAMGEE!"
Merry jumped and spun around. Elrond strode into the room. Merry quickly turned around so that Elrond wouldn't see him. If he was going to get mad, he better get mad at Sam.
"Yes...yes sir?" squeaked Sam.
"Does this child belong in your class?" Elrond demanded. "She interrupted my council!"
Merry gasped and turned around. Elrond released the little girl he was holding on to, and she ran straight for Merry. He knelt down. "SELDA!" he cried. She ran into his arms and buried her head in his shoulder.
Sam began to walk towards Merry.
"Samwise Gamgee, don't even think about it!" Elrond said, a strong hint of warning in his voice. "We have some things to discuss."
Merry stood up and walked over to his chair, Selda following close behind. He noticed Aragorn slip out the door, carrying about ten boxes of cookies.
"What sorts of things, sir?" Sam asked timidly.
"To be honest with you, I can't say that I'm impressed by your performance as a primary caregiver." Elrond said sharply. "You lost one of the children. She somehow wandered over to the meeting hall, crying all the way and asking for Merry, and she interrupted a very important council with Lord Celeborn of Lothlorien. I had to bring her back here myself, and it was quite embarrassing."
"I'm sorry sir, it won't happen again." Sam whispered.
"No, it most certainly won't," said Elrond, "because I am now pronouncing Mr. Brandybuck the primary caregiver. I will get your uniforms changed tomorrow. Hopefully Merry will prove to be much more responsible than you were."
"But...but Lord Elrond-"
"No buts about it, Samwise. You lost your chance." With that, he strode out of the room leaving a very dejected-looking Sam behind him.
"He's so mean!" Sam cried.
"What are you talking about?" Merry asked.
"I wanted to be primary caregiver so bad, and now I'm not anymore! I don't get to be in charge! I DON'T GET TO DO ANYTHING!"
"Of course you'll get to do things. I'll make sure of it!" said Merry. "In fact, why don't you get started now. We need to have this whole room cleaned up before the parents arrive to get the children."
Sam pouted for a minute. "Meanie-head." Then he began to clean up the room.
The rest of the day passed uneventfully. By five-thirty, all of the children had been taken home by random parents who were definitely not the same ones who had dropped them off. The room was completely clean. Sam had done a very good job.
Elrond leaned into the classroom. "Come on, we're having a council to discuss your first day at work!"
Sam groaned and Merry rolled his eyes.
"Stop whining, I happen to enjoy councils!" said Elrond.
"I'm sure you do."
A/N: Okay, so there it was. Next chapter: Frodo and Aragorn. I don't think I'll be able to post it tomorrow, I'll probably need to put it up on Wednesday. Anyhoozles, have a nice day!