A/N: You guys, I am SO SORRY for the lack of updates, but now that holy week is over, I will probably be home more often (I spent about twelve hours a day at church, and I'm absolutely serious about that). I rewrote this chapter, because it's actually not going to be the end of the story...yay! I haven't started writing, so it may not be up for a while. Don't worry, I'll still be here. Anyway, here's this chapter. Lots of Gimli and Legolas gayness, and a SPECIAL SURPRISE!
The fellowship entered the meeting/council hall in a rather confused and frenzied disarray. Legolas and Gimli had arrived first and were sitting on the end of the row holding the two forgotten children in their laps. Everyone else kept giving them odd looks as they passed by, but no one said anything, as they were too preoccupied with there own problems.
"Alright, let's all settle down now!" said Elrond. As soon as everyone was seated and quiet he began to speak. "Well, now that you're all here...hey, where's Pippin?"
"He fell asleep on the floor in our classroom," said Gandalf, "and I didn't have the heart to wake him up. He's had a hard day."
"Aww..." whispered Aragorn. Everyone ignored him.
"Okay, well, now that everyone except for Pippin is here, I will begin the council." Elrond cleared his throat. "I was impressed by the job that most of you did today...MOST of you." He glared at Sam. "Unfortunately, we haven't had anyone volunteer to help care for the children yet, so you will be working for another day at least...probably another week, actually, or more."
"What? We have to work until someone else volunteers?" Sam cried.
"Yay!" cried Gimli. He was promptly silenced by a smack in the face from Onna who was seated on Legolas' lap.
"I want to go to the undying lands!" moaned Frodo.
"So do I!" groaned Gandalf.
"NOBODY is going to the undying lands until I tell you that you can so DEAL WITH IT!" Elrond gave the fellowship a moment to calm themselves down and then said "I would like to thank you for your generous contributions to our community, and now I will let you go get some rest because you have another exciting day of day care ahead of you!" He began to sweep out of the room, but Legolas caught up with him.
"Lord Elrond, what am I supposed to do with HER?" he demanded, indicating the little girl who was clinging onto his leg.
"Well, feed her some dinner, brush her teeth, and put her to bed!" Elrond said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"But...but she's not my kid!"
Elrond stared at him blankly.
"I mean, won't her parents get worried?"
"I have told you already, THEY DO NOT CARE! They probably don't even notice that she's gone, and the same goes for you, Gimli. Feed him, brush his teeth, put him to bed."
"Yay! I get my own baby!" screeched Gimli. "Isn't this great, Leggy? It'll be like we're parents and I'm the mommy and you're the daddy and-"
"NO!!!!! I am a MAN and I WILL NOT give in, so there!" Legolas folded his arms across his chest and tried to look impressive.
Gimli sniffed and made big puppy-dog eyes. "Please, Leggy!"
"That is NOT my name, and I will NOT play house with you!"
Gimli began to cry. "B-but this is what I've always w-wanted!" he sobbed.
"Gimli don't cry! Please stop it, you're making me feel guilty!"
Elrond noticed that neither the elf nor the dwarf was paying any attention to him whatsoever, and glided out the door.
"I won't stop crying unless you promise to play house with me and the babies!"
"Fine! But just one time!" Legolas picked Onna up, and he and Gimli walked out of the council hall together.
On their way back to their rooms, they caught up with Gandalf, who was striding down the hall muttering to himself. "Gandalf!" shrieked Gimli, "See my baby? I named him after you!"
Gandalf turned to glare at Gimli. The baby started to cry. Then Gandalf turned back around and continued down the hallway.
"I guess he doesn't really like to play house." Whispered Gimli.
As all of this had been going on, Frodo and Aragorn were walking back to their rooms. Or, rather, Aragorn was walking back to his room, dragging Frodo behind him.
"NO! I won't do it! Never again!" Frodo screamed, as he kicked and clawed at Aragorn's legs. "I WILL NOT spend another day feeding cookies to an evil, unspeaking little three-year-old who throws weapons out the window!"
"Actually, Frodo, she's four, remember? Her dad said-"
"I DO NOT CARE HOW OLD SHE IS! I WON'T GO BACK THERE!"
"Okay, whatever," said Aragorn, "but there's no way you're leaving me alone with those kids. So unless Elrond can find about ten other people to help me, you're coming back tomorrow." Aragorn, who had finally reached Frodo's room, threw the door open and tossed Frodo inside. "Sweet dreams!" he said.
Aragorn slammed Frodo's door and started back down the hall. An idea was formulating in his head, and he wanted to try it out as soon as possible. He ran down the hallway to his room and slipped inside. He opened the window and looked around. No one was there. He breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay, here we go." He stepped back, and then once more, once more, and then once more just for luck. He jogged in place for a minute, and then took a great running leap towards the window.
For a brief second he was soaring in the air, wind whipping past him, and he thought 'I'm free at last!' But then, he hit the ground with an earth-shattering crash, and everything went black.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk." Said Elrond. "Trying to escape, were we? Well, that won't happen here!" He chuckled to himself, then grabbed hold of Aragorn's ankles, dragged him across the garden, and into his room once again. "I do hope you wake up soon!" He shook his head, and then swept down the hallway.
***Rivendell Meeting Hall
At four-thirty the next morning, Elrond called everyone to yet another council, saying that he had some urgent news that he needed to share with them immediately. The fellowship entered, yawning and bleary-eyed, and some still wearing their pajamas, as Elrond looked on with great amusement.
Once everyone was settled, he moved into the center of the room and began to speak. "Yesterday, if you'll remember, I told you that you would have to return to the childcare center every day this week, is that correct?"
Everyone just stared at him.
"Well, I think it was correct. Now, there seems to have been a change in plans, and we won't-"
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!" Frodo rushed up and gave Elrond a big hug, and then circled around the fellowship, giving each of them a hug too. The fellowship (minus Boromir because he's dead, and minus Pippin because he's asleep) smiled in approval, but they were too tired to really do anything.
"Can I finish now?" Elrond said impatiently.
Frodo returned to his seat.
"AS I WAS SAYING...Rivendell has decided to become part of Middle-Earth Tours Inc., because they wanted to have an Elven realm be part of it, but neither Mirkwood nor Lothlorien really wanted to take part-"
"Hang on," said Aragorn with a yawn, "are you gonna make us be tour guides now?"
"No!" cried Elrond indignantly. "I doubt you know your way around Rivendell well enough to be tour guides! We have some volunteers who we will begin training tomorrow. And, well, we signed up a little late so our first caravan of tourists will arrive the next day."
Merry coughed very loudly, and everyone turned to look at him. "Sorry...just, um, pollen...?"
Elrond glared at him. "Ahem...our first caravan of tourists will arrive the next day. Now, as you can probably guess, we want to make sure that the tourists are impressed with our realm...place...thing, and there are a few things that we will need to take care of first. One of the first items on our list is the children."
Aragorn sighed. He had a bad feeling about this, just like last time, and he knew he was probably right.
"You all should well know that it's not exactly impressive to walk into a city as beautiful as Rivendell and find children running all over the place and crowding the streets, so we don't want our tourists to see that either."
"Are we going to kill them?" Aragorn said casually.
"NO!!!" screamed Gimli, who was holding the baby on his lap (nobody had come by to claim either him or Onna).
"No, we're not going to kill them!" said Elrond. "Where would we put them once they were dead?"
"In the river." Suggested Frodo.
"We ARE NOT killing anybody." Stated Elrond firmly. "We are, however, taking them somewhere else. Like a big field trip. Where? That is up to you. Just get them out of here until the spring tour season is over."
The fellowship sat, completely shocked. Gandalf came out of it first. "And when is that, may I ask?"
"In just a few weeks!" Elrond said, happily. "Now, you all need to return to the childcare center. You will depart tomorrow morning. I'll provide you with horses, strollers, and lots of baby food! As long as you return them all safe and sound, everything will be okay!"
"As long as we return them SAFE AND SOUND?"
"I'll expect you by no later than five o'clock tomorrow morning ready to depart. You have a little extra time left before six-thirty today, so I suggest that you start packing!"
The fellowship (minus Boromir because he's dead and Pippin because he's asleep) sat in disbelief, and then, slowly, VERY slowly, began to leave. The overwhelming terror in their minds (except not in Gimli's) was worse than anything they had ever encountered, and it was only going to get worse...oh yes, much worse.
A/N: Sorry that was so bad. It will get better, I promise!
The fellowship entered the meeting/council hall in a rather confused and frenzied disarray. Legolas and Gimli had arrived first and were sitting on the end of the row holding the two forgotten children in their laps. Everyone else kept giving them odd looks as they passed by, but no one said anything, as they were too preoccupied with there own problems.
"Alright, let's all settle down now!" said Elrond. As soon as everyone was seated and quiet he began to speak. "Well, now that you're all here...hey, where's Pippin?"
"He fell asleep on the floor in our classroom," said Gandalf, "and I didn't have the heart to wake him up. He's had a hard day."
"Aww..." whispered Aragorn. Everyone ignored him.
"Okay, well, now that everyone except for Pippin is here, I will begin the council." Elrond cleared his throat. "I was impressed by the job that most of you did today...MOST of you." He glared at Sam. "Unfortunately, we haven't had anyone volunteer to help care for the children yet, so you will be working for another day at least...probably another week, actually, or more."
"What? We have to work until someone else volunteers?" Sam cried.
"Yay!" cried Gimli. He was promptly silenced by a smack in the face from Onna who was seated on Legolas' lap.
"I want to go to the undying lands!" moaned Frodo.
"So do I!" groaned Gandalf.
"NOBODY is going to the undying lands until I tell you that you can so DEAL WITH IT!" Elrond gave the fellowship a moment to calm themselves down and then said "I would like to thank you for your generous contributions to our community, and now I will let you go get some rest because you have another exciting day of day care ahead of you!" He began to sweep out of the room, but Legolas caught up with him.
"Lord Elrond, what am I supposed to do with HER?" he demanded, indicating the little girl who was clinging onto his leg.
"Well, feed her some dinner, brush her teeth, and put her to bed!" Elrond said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"But...but she's not my kid!"
Elrond stared at him blankly.
"I mean, won't her parents get worried?"
"I have told you already, THEY DO NOT CARE! They probably don't even notice that she's gone, and the same goes for you, Gimli. Feed him, brush his teeth, put him to bed."
"Yay! I get my own baby!" screeched Gimli. "Isn't this great, Leggy? It'll be like we're parents and I'm the mommy and you're the daddy and-"
"NO!!!!! I am a MAN and I WILL NOT give in, so there!" Legolas folded his arms across his chest and tried to look impressive.
Gimli sniffed and made big puppy-dog eyes. "Please, Leggy!"
"That is NOT my name, and I will NOT play house with you!"
Gimli began to cry. "B-but this is what I've always w-wanted!" he sobbed.
"Gimli don't cry! Please stop it, you're making me feel guilty!"
Elrond noticed that neither the elf nor the dwarf was paying any attention to him whatsoever, and glided out the door.
"I won't stop crying unless you promise to play house with me and the babies!"
"Fine! But just one time!" Legolas picked Onna up, and he and Gimli walked out of the council hall together.
On their way back to their rooms, they caught up with Gandalf, who was striding down the hall muttering to himself. "Gandalf!" shrieked Gimli, "See my baby? I named him after you!"
Gandalf turned to glare at Gimli. The baby started to cry. Then Gandalf turned back around and continued down the hallway.
"I guess he doesn't really like to play house." Whispered Gimli.
As all of this had been going on, Frodo and Aragorn were walking back to their rooms. Or, rather, Aragorn was walking back to his room, dragging Frodo behind him.
"NO! I won't do it! Never again!" Frodo screamed, as he kicked and clawed at Aragorn's legs. "I WILL NOT spend another day feeding cookies to an evil, unspeaking little three-year-old who throws weapons out the window!"
"Actually, Frodo, she's four, remember? Her dad said-"
"I DO NOT CARE HOW OLD SHE IS! I WON'T GO BACK THERE!"
"Okay, whatever," said Aragorn, "but there's no way you're leaving me alone with those kids. So unless Elrond can find about ten other people to help me, you're coming back tomorrow." Aragorn, who had finally reached Frodo's room, threw the door open and tossed Frodo inside. "Sweet dreams!" he said.
Aragorn slammed Frodo's door and started back down the hall. An idea was formulating in his head, and he wanted to try it out as soon as possible. He ran down the hallway to his room and slipped inside. He opened the window and looked around. No one was there. He breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay, here we go." He stepped back, and then once more, once more, and then once more just for luck. He jogged in place for a minute, and then took a great running leap towards the window.
For a brief second he was soaring in the air, wind whipping past him, and he thought 'I'm free at last!' But then, he hit the ground with an earth-shattering crash, and everything went black.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk." Said Elrond. "Trying to escape, were we? Well, that won't happen here!" He chuckled to himself, then grabbed hold of Aragorn's ankles, dragged him across the garden, and into his room once again. "I do hope you wake up soon!" He shook his head, and then swept down the hallway.
***Rivendell Meeting Hall
At four-thirty the next morning, Elrond called everyone to yet another council, saying that he had some urgent news that he needed to share with them immediately. The fellowship entered, yawning and bleary-eyed, and some still wearing their pajamas, as Elrond looked on with great amusement.
Once everyone was settled, he moved into the center of the room and began to speak. "Yesterday, if you'll remember, I told you that you would have to return to the childcare center every day this week, is that correct?"
Everyone just stared at him.
"Well, I think it was correct. Now, there seems to have been a change in plans, and we won't-"
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!" Frodo rushed up and gave Elrond a big hug, and then circled around the fellowship, giving each of them a hug too. The fellowship (minus Boromir because he's dead, and minus Pippin because he's asleep) smiled in approval, but they were too tired to really do anything.
"Can I finish now?" Elrond said impatiently.
Frodo returned to his seat.
"AS I WAS SAYING...Rivendell has decided to become part of Middle-Earth Tours Inc., because they wanted to have an Elven realm be part of it, but neither Mirkwood nor Lothlorien really wanted to take part-"
"Hang on," said Aragorn with a yawn, "are you gonna make us be tour guides now?"
"No!" cried Elrond indignantly. "I doubt you know your way around Rivendell well enough to be tour guides! We have some volunteers who we will begin training tomorrow. And, well, we signed up a little late so our first caravan of tourists will arrive the next day."
Merry coughed very loudly, and everyone turned to look at him. "Sorry...just, um, pollen...?"
Elrond glared at him. "Ahem...our first caravan of tourists will arrive the next day. Now, as you can probably guess, we want to make sure that the tourists are impressed with our realm...place...thing, and there are a few things that we will need to take care of first. One of the first items on our list is the children."
Aragorn sighed. He had a bad feeling about this, just like last time, and he knew he was probably right.
"You all should well know that it's not exactly impressive to walk into a city as beautiful as Rivendell and find children running all over the place and crowding the streets, so we don't want our tourists to see that either."
"Are we going to kill them?" Aragorn said casually.
"NO!!!" screamed Gimli, who was holding the baby on his lap (nobody had come by to claim either him or Onna).
"No, we're not going to kill them!" said Elrond. "Where would we put them once they were dead?"
"In the river." Suggested Frodo.
"We ARE NOT killing anybody." Stated Elrond firmly. "We are, however, taking them somewhere else. Like a big field trip. Where? That is up to you. Just get them out of here until the spring tour season is over."
The fellowship sat, completely shocked. Gandalf came out of it first. "And when is that, may I ask?"
"In just a few weeks!" Elrond said, happily. "Now, you all need to return to the childcare center. You will depart tomorrow morning. I'll provide you with horses, strollers, and lots of baby food! As long as you return them all safe and sound, everything will be okay!"
"As long as we return them SAFE AND SOUND?"
"I'll expect you by no later than five o'clock tomorrow morning ready to depart. You have a little extra time left before six-thirty today, so I suggest that you start packing!"
The fellowship (minus Boromir because he's dead and Pippin because he's asleep) sat in disbelief, and then, slowly, VERY slowly, began to leave. The overwhelming terror in their minds (except not in Gimli's) was worse than anything they had ever encountered, and it was only going to get worse...oh yes, much worse.
A/N: Sorry that was so bad. It will get better, I promise!