A/N: For sake of the AU, I had a certain scene in the last chapter of OotP occur a bit sooner than it did in the book. You'll see what I mean when you get there, but just know that it was intentional, and not a slip up.

The Wayward Trio

by hilarity

First there were six and then there were seven

"Perhaps he's past the stage of anger and is now wallowing in the disbelief that you'd do whatever it is you did to him."

"What? What is it, James?" inquired Remus.

"Let's go back to the Great Hall, shall we?" said James in a very, very small voice.

"Why?" asked Sirius, coming up the stairs. "What did you spot?" And then, giving himself three steps to think it over, his eyes widened, and a grin of idiotic proportions strapped itself to his face. "Or whom did you spot? Is that more correct, Prongs?"

And without another word, Sirius skipped three more steps, nearly fell down the staircase for the second time, and reached the top, where he let out a sound of mirth, and turned round to face the group of onlookers behind him.

"PRONGLET!" he shouted.

"Now, wait a minute, Sirius. It's not him. I mean, I mean..." James walked back up the stairs again, took one look at the boy to whom Sirius was referencing as being the legendary 'Pronglet', and shut his eyes as if he were going to be sick. He blanched again.

"Uh huh. And whose kid would that be, eh? Look at him! Same hair, although his isn't nearly as mussed as yours happens to be at the moment. Must not run his fingers through it every bloody minute." He appraised James, and looked at the boy. "He's got glasses, mate. He's the same height as you, looks like, and he's a bloody rail, same's you."

"Now wait just a sodding minute, here!" cried James indignantly. Lily, Remus and Peter joined James and Sirius, curiosity piqued amongst them.

"Way to go, mate!" said Sirius, as he clapped James on the back. "Chip off the old block, though he looks a bit...tried. Kind of like Moony, here." Sirius looked alarmed. "You didn't bite him, did you Moony?"

Lily raised a bemused eyebrow.

Remus scowled. "Sirius, please."

Sirius shrugged helplessly. "What?"

Remus cast Sirius another patronising look, and looked away only when Peter began to speak.

"Ah! Look at all those points McGonagall just gave Gryffindor! Hundreds!" ogled Peter. "He must be just as good as you are, James. I mean, maybe not as much, because no one is as good as you are--" Sirius held up a hand to silence him.

"Well, Potter, Malfoy..." McGonagall was saying.

James felt sick. Very, very sick. He clutched the railing and felt the others grab him in order to steady him.

"H-he's...and I'm...and that's...m'son..." whispered James, words having a difficult time forming on his bewildered tongue. The whole situation seemed completely sickeningly real all of a sudden.

"Who's the lucky bird, mate?" said Sirius as he ruffled James's hair. "Or perhaps, unlucky, really," he amended after giving his first question some thought.

James ignored this.

"Didn't anyone else notice?" asked Remus, looking from James to Sirius to Peter, and then a quick glance at Lily.

"Notice what?" they all said in unison.

But at that moment, the boy, Pronglet, walked past Snape with an air of deepest loathing (with the full support of James, Sirius, Remus and Peter, if they hadn't been too preoccupied with making sure that James didn't fall down dead on the spot), and headed down the staircase to the Entrance Hall.

"Taking a walk is he?" said Sirius briskly, as he headed down after him. James turned round to follow, but felt lightheaded. He wobbled helplessly and Remus and Lily (though rather reluctantly) took up the roles of holding James's arms while he walked, Peter hovering behind them.

"What did you notice, Remus?" asked Lily as they stepped into the Entrance Hall.

Remus hesitated, and eyed James warily. "His eyes," he said simply.

"Thanks for that insightful bit of information, Moony," commented Sirius.

"No, you don't understand," sighed Remus with the usual tone that he reserved solely for Sirius, and said boy's ever-present idiocy.

There was a long, long pause, during which Sirius watched James's clone walk across the grounds.

"They're green."

Lily released James' arm very, very quickly and James whinged pitifully and collapsed on the spot. Lily would have joined him, if she hadn't had to help revive him.

"Oi! Prongs!" said Sirius as he dashed over to help his friends. "Cor, mate! What happened to him?"

"I, er, pointed out who the boy's mother could be. I suppose. If one puts two-and-two together, that is."

"Annnd," implored Sirius, immediately forgetting the task of waking up James, in favour of finding out this dirty bit of information.

"Er..."

"Yes?" But then, as always, something clicked within Sirius's mind without any prompting. "IT'S EVANS, ISN'T IT?!" he shouted, and jumped up.

"Now, we don't know for sure..."

"I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! Won't you go out with him now, Evans?" Sirius said as he danced on the spot, looking as though he were stepping upon hot coals.

"Absolutely NOT!" she barked, dropping James's wrist as if burnt by the contact with his skin.

"Sirius, would you calm down?" solicited Remus as he watched Sirius. "You're going to break something. Or perhaps pull something."

"Not to mention," began Lily. "Your dancing is most pitiful." She cast a seething look at the unconscious James, and groaned. "Would you wake him up already?!" she snapped at Sirius.

Looking slightly wary of the angry Evans, Sirius bent down and shot another jet of water on James's face, effectively choking him, but also waking him up. He spluttered incoherent nothings, and Remus helped him to sit up. Peter began to wring his hands.

"Is he okay? Are you okay James? Did you injure yourself?" he rambled, breathlessly.

Again, he was dutifully ignored.

"Let's go look for him, eh?" suggested Sirius.

Remus sighed heavily. "Him? As in, James's son?"

James winced. Peter nodded happily. James looked horrified. Sirius nodded. James looked sick. Lily rolled her eyes. James looked petrified. Remus, however, looked inclined toward the idea, and that made James blanch.

"Sure, Padfoot. Let's look for him."

And so Sirius, Remus, Lily, and James (supported by Peter) stepped onto the sunny grounds and marched across the trampled grass. Their destination was Hagrid's hut, but no sooner had they reached the front door, when it opened again, and the boy stepped outside. He looked hurt. He looked very, very hurt. And Lily frowned at Remus. Sirius trailed behind the boy like a puppy (which was rather ironic, really) following him to a clump of bushes on the other side of the lake. The boy sat down and stared wistfully at the water.

"Let's let him be," whispered Lily.

Remus nodded. "Yes. I agree with Lily. Come on Padfoot, leave him alone."

But it was too late. Sirius had already dropped down on the grass next to the boy, and began to watch him thoughtfully.

"Wonder what's up with him," he said, frowning.

It was with a sudden jolt of something akin to pain, unlike any he had felt before, and he later realised to be pity, that he noticed tears trickling silently down the boy's pale cheeks. He felt the urge to remove the concealment charm, just for that one moment...

But James beat him to it.

"Potter!" Lily hissed, grabbing his arm. "Don't!" she mouthed.

James looked positively horrified. "Evans! My son!...Er...our...er..." Suddenly he wasn't so sure of himself, and he looked down at the ground, blushing.

"Look," began Lily with a sudden bout of understanding for the slime that was James Potter. She took a deep breath. "I'll put the charms back on us now. He shouldn't have noticed us."

James threw a disdainful look toward the shrubbery, obviously battling his inner-most feelings. The situation was no longer real. It was surreal. There was his son. His future son, but nevertheless, his son. There was his son, crying. Silently, yes, but still crying. If anyone but his son had been crying, James would have thought him an absolute Nancy. Paternal instincts were now overpowering. But why wasn't Ev-Lily feeling the same way?

"James," she whispered more insistently, pulling him back. "Please. For his sake." She indicated the boy.

"James," said Peter quietly, looking unsure of himself. "I don't think that would be a very good idea."

As James nodded sullenly, he thought he heard something. Something very, very quiet; a whisper. "Shh!" he held up one hand.

"Later! Stand together, all of you!" ordered Lily as quietly as she could while still backing the group away from the boy. Her son. Her son!

The boys did as they were instructed, all looking rather miserable, and when Lily had cast the charm once more, it was Sirius who broke from the group first. James was close on his heels.

Sirius dropped down on his hunkers next to the bush and only a foot from the boy, and James sat opposite them both. The boy looked momentarily startled, and he hastily wiped his face. Upon surveying the area, he apparently came to a silent conclusion, and sank back again, once more staring across the lake as though it were hypnotic.

And then James heard it. It was so quiet that perhaps the boy didn't even know he was saying it, but he had said it, and James had heard it.

"...Sirius," the boy had whispered, his eyes still looking across the lake, but clouded with something other than tears. He took a deep, rattling breath, and closed his eyes.

Sirius looked over at James, startled. "Me?" he mouthed to James, even though the boy couldn't hear them.

James, frowning, nodded. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the duplicate sitting in front of him. "Wonder what you did, then?" said James.

"What? Are you laying the blame on me?" Sirius looked positively horrified at such an accusation.

"Well you don't hear him calling out 'Dad', now do you?"

"No. But what makes you think I did something?"

Remus, Peter and Lily sat down.

"Because he's upset!"

"He's obviously upset about me!"

"What?! What makes you think that?"

"He's crying, and he's not angry."

"Perhaps he's past the stage of anger and is now wallowing in the disbelief that you'd do whatever it is you did to him."

"Listen here, you giant berk!" snapped Sirius. "Do you really think I'd do something to your son?"

"Well, we're twenty-four bloody years into the future, you pouf!"

"DON'T START UP THAT POUF BUSINESS AGAIN!" roared Sirius. He stood up and in his anger, lost his balance and leant sharply to the side, hitting the bush.

And the boy.

The boy let out a wail and scooted closer to the lake.

Lily clapped a hand over her mouth, James jumped up and ran behind Remus, who was now standing, and backing up slowly. Peter whinged pitifully, and hid behind Lily.

Sirius was standing again, but so was the boy. And the boy looked positively frightened.

"Ron? Hermione?" he asked softly, but then he seemed to come to a silent realisation, and shook his head softly. He took a step forward. Sirius jumped back. The boy had heard this, though, and he took another deliberate step forward.

"Who's there?" he demanded his voice cold and hard now. It sent a chill down James's spine to hear someone speak like that, and he felt guilty for being there. He felt guilty for ever letting Sirius time travel. He felt guilty for...for...for ever tormenting Sniv- Snape, in the way that he had. The pants incident was still fresh in his mind, though it was anything but a welcome image...

"Let's get out of here," whispered Lily.

Remus, however, began to speak. "Look at him," he said quietly. Everyone looked at the boy.

The boy was frowning. But he was frowning in the direction of the five Gryffindors currently standing only a metre in front of him. His eyes, however, were staring at the ground. They widened suddenly, and a look of horror passed over his face.

"Does..." said James throatily. He swallowed. "The grass is bent, and he can see it."

Remus nodded.

"He knows we're here, doesn't he?"

Remus nodded again.

"Only one thing to do, then," said Lily, briskly. "RUN!"

And run they did. They were speeding back into the castle as fast as possible, not even fully aware whether the boy was following or not. They suspected that he was.

"Room...of...Requirement!" panted James.

Sirius acknowledged this order with a wave of his hand, and he was soon pacing in front of a section of wall devoid of any tapestries or pictures. Lily raised an eyebrow as she massaged a stitch in her side.

"What are you doing?"

"Pass in front of this section of the wall four times, and think of a room to stay in while we're here, okay?" said Remus as Sirius disappeared with James.

Remus, Lily, and Peter passed in front of the wall, and were soon inside a room in which Lily had never been before.

It looked just like the Gryffindor common room, with the exception of two doors along one wall, one labelled, 'Ladies' and the other 'Gentlemen'.

"Wait," she said suddenly. "What of Snape? He won't be able to get into his common room, and he can't stay in the castle. He'll take off the concealment charms!"

"Or they'll have worn off, such as ours did...ten minutes ago."

Everyone stared at Peter, looks of horror on their faces. "You mean...?" said James.

"He probably saw us for us, and not just the bent grass," concluded Remus as he slapped a hand to his forehead.

"How does the charm wear off, Lily?" asked Sirius.

"Well, it sort of fades out."

"Feet first?"

Lily shrugged. "Possibly, why?"

"Because he was looking at our feet."

"He may not have seen our faces, then?" asked Peter tentatively.

"I doubt that he did."

"It's late. Let's nick some food from the kitchens and then sleep, shall we?" suggested Sirius through the beginnings of a yawn.

Everyone nodded, eager to sleep the last event of the day away.

"But first," said Remus. "Lily's right. We have to get Snape."

"Arrrgh. I suppose," groaned Sirius. "Wonder where the git's at."

"Dungeons, obviously," said James. "Probably trying to get into his common room. Probably scaring the students. Probably getting slime all over the place..."

And so the five headed down to the dungeons, driven by the prospects of food and sleep as soon as this task was complete.

It was Lily who saw Snape first. "Here!" she said, pointing to an entranceway at the end of the hall. Snape was glaring murderously at the tapestry hung along the wall.

"Oi! Snivelly!" said Sirius cheerily.

"Careful, Sirius! The charm isn't on us anymore!"

Snape withdrew his wand instantly, but Sirius did not. "You're coming with us," he growled.

"I am not coming with you and your lot!" he said.

"Yes you are. I told you. This isn't 1972, you great prat. Now come with us!" he barked, and lunged for Snape.

Snape, however, had other ideas. He did not hex Sirius, but instead did the thing that no one would have ever thought him capable of. He sent one punch to Sirius's jaw, and smiled when Sirius cried out in pain. "What'd you do that for, Snivelly?" asked Sirius, rubbing his jaw tenderly.

"Don't. Touch. Me."

"It's not as though I wanted to," countered Sirius. "But you're still coming with us. Ow..." he moaned. "I swear, Snivelly, if any of my teeth are damaged, there'll be hell to pay!"

"I am not coming with you!" snarled Snape.

"You have to, Severus!" said Lily pleadingly.

Snape frowned. "Why." It wasn't phrased as a question.

"Because!" James half-shouted. Lily hit him, and looked rather happy in doing so. "Ah! What was that for, Evans?" said James, looking hurt.

"Don't. Shout!" she said through gritted teeth.

Sirius couldn't resist. "Spousal abuse!"

Lily and James glared daggers into Sirius, willing some to materialise to make their point clearer. Sirius, still massaging his jaw, grinned. "What? It's true, you know!"

"Not yet it isn't!" spat Lily. "And frankly, I'm having a hard time ever believing that it will ever happen." She glared disgustedly at James.

"What's this?" said Snape, the beginnings of mirth showing in his usually calm voice.

"I told you, Snivelly," said Sirius as he rolled his eyes, still rubbing his jaw, tenderly. "We're in 1996 or something like that-- I swear! If I get as much as a bruise..."

"So it's true? And you and Potter..." He sneered.

"Most unfortunate, isn't it, Severus?" said Lily, coldly. "Now, come with us, or chance running into the potions master."

"And that is something you do not want to do," said James.

"Why?" asked Snape, his voice just as icy as Lily's.

"Er...just trust us," muttered James.

"Why would I ever trust you?"

"Fine. Don't trust us. But you have to come with us."

"I do not!"

"Then put a concealment charm on yourself and pray to the gods that you don't interfere with the future too much."

"You'll still get back, Snivelly," said Sirius. "Lils here has one of your books."

"You've got one of my books?" Snape turned to look at Lily.

Lily nodded. "You left it in Potions, and I was going to bring it back to you."

"One of my tomes in the hands of a Mudblood? I shudder to think."

"SHUT YOUR GREASY GOB!" yelled James. "Don't you dare call her that."

"Listen, I think we ought to take this elsewhere," said Remus. "Get some food, and head back to the Room. Leave Snape to his own devices. He'll have to find out the hard way, and I am much inclined to see how he handles it."

"Moony going rebellious! I like it!" announced Sirius.

There was a moment reserved for everyone to turn to Sirius and give him a look before the dark-haired boy shrugged non-committaly and said, "What?"

"I like the bit about the getting food."

"You would, Worms."

A/N AGAIN!: This chapter was fairly short, being mostly dialogue and set up, but I didn't want to go into any more of the events quite yet. Again, I was working on evil spell-checkless word pad, and I didn't have it betaed or proofread or ANYTHING because I am far too lazy.