DISCLAIMER: I own nothing – it all belongs to JK Rowling.
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Finally finishing off his Potions essay, Harry gathered his belongings together and trudged up the stairs to the boys' dormitory. There, he found a gloomy Ron and a sulky Dean, each lying on their respective beds and staring at the ceiling. Harry felt his stomach lurch as he realized he'd have to tell Ron he was going to the ball with Ginny. He wasn't quite sure how to broach the subject.
He was saved, however, from this ghastly prospect by Dean, who bounced upright at the sight of him. "You sly dog, Potter," he said. "You move really fast, don't you? I can't believe you've gotten one of the best looking girls at Hogwarts as a ball partner – AGAIN!"
Ron sat up too, looking interested. "Oh, yeah? Who're you going with then?"
"Er … Ginny," said Harry, trying to look engrossed in packing his Potions reference books away.
There was a pregnant pause. "Who?" said Ron indignantly.
Expecting this, but not prepared to go down without a fight, Harry said casually: "You know – Gryffindor Chaser; about yea high," he indicated chin level, "red hair. Oh yeah – and I think she's your sister."
Harry braced himself for a physical or verbal onslaught, and was amazed when Ron slumped back onto his bed. "Well, I'd rather she went with you than anyone else, mate," Ron said grimly. "After all, you know exactly what I'll do to you if you upset her."
He had a point. As he'd said before, it would take some kind of nutter to date Ginny, with six older brothers breathing fire at the mere mention of it. However, Harry figured he had a bit of a head start on anyone else who was interested in Ginny – at least he knew the Weasley brothers personally and most of them (with the possible exception of Percy) seemed to like him well enough.
"So who are you going to go with, then, Dean?" Harry asked quickly, to take the spotlight off him.
"Guess I'll ask Parvati," Dean said grumpily. "At least she looks good, though I won't be guaranteed of any reasonable conversation."
"What about you?" Harry asked Ron sneakily.
Ron continued his study of the ceiling. "Haven't thought about it," he said.
"Best you do, then," said Harry, grinning. "We don't want a repeat of last time, do we? And I'm not bailing you out this time, pal – you're in this one on your own."
"You're semi-dating half of Hufflepuff anyway, Ron – you've got lots to choose from," said Dean jealously.
"I am not!" said Ron. "Susan and Hannah are just friends of mine."
"Yeah, right!" said Harry sarcastically. "Crabbe and Goyle are Malfoy's friends too, but I don't think we'll be seeing him escorting one of them to the ball, do you?"
The matter, however, resolved itself that evening. Coming back from dinner, Harry found Ron and Hermione squaring off at the end of the corridor leading to the common-room. Ginny was standing between them like a referee. She shot Harry a half-amused, half exasperated look.
"You'd better make your choice quickly, Ron!" Hermione shouted. "Don't want to disappoint your little fan club, do you?"
"For your information, I have decided!" Ron shouted back.
There was a pause. "Well, don't keep us in suspense then!" Hermione snapped.
"Actually, the person I want to take …"
"You know what? On second thoughts, I don't want to know!"
Ron finally snapped. "WILL YOU SHUT UP FOR ONE SECOND?"
Hermione looked shocked. "Really, you don't have to shout at me."
Ron took her by the shoulders and shook her. "Blimey, what do I have to do to get you to BE QUIET? The person I'd most like to go to the ball with is … you. Though I don't know why – you drive me NUTS!"
For the first time in Harry's memory, Hermione was completely at a loss for words. She gaped at Ron for a second, then said loudly: "OK, then. FINE!"
"IS THAT A DATE THEN?" Ron yelled.
"YES!" she shouted back
"OK – FINE!" Ron bellowed, then turned on his heel and stalked into the common-room. After a few seconds, Hermione followed, leaving a startled Harry and Ginny behind.
"Well," said Harry, rumpling up his hair in confusion and raising his eyebrows at an equally perplexed Ginny. "That was romantic."
***
Harry had decided at the beginning of term that the only way he was going to survive another two years of Potions with Professor Snape was to keep his head down, his mouth shut and stay out of trouble as much as possible. He was thoroughly enjoying his other classes – for the first time in his schooling career, he was putting in plenty of extra work and getting his homework done on time, and was really reaping the benefits.
However, with Professor Snape, nothing was ever simple. To Harry's disgust, he was paired off at the beginning of the term with none other than Draco Malfoy as his potions partner. He soon realized that Snape had only done this to irk him as much as possible, and he was damned if he would give him the satisfaction of showing him that it had worked.
To both Snape and Malfoy's amazement, Harry had shown no outward sign that he was annoyed to be paired with Malfoy, and simply put in more effort. Snape was reduced to deducting points from Harry's work for trivial things such as "drops spilled when filling flask". Harry would smile sweetly and accept this with no outward sign of the fury he felt boiling up inside.
"These Occlumency lessons are working better than you know," he confided to Lupin during one of their Friday night sessions. "They're really teaching me to control my temper – even Snape can't get me to snap now."
Lupin grinned, delighted. "You know, Harry, I shouldn't speak evil of my peers, but …" he shrugged. "Well, you know what I think about Snape. Sirius would have been really proud of the way you're handling him – he never could."
Harry felt a huge surge of sadness at the mention of Sirius' name. While he had been able to shed some of the guilt and grief he had felt, every now and again he would feel a strong urge to speak to and confide in his godfather. The sense of loss when he remembered that he would never be able to do that again was overwhelming.
"Well, I figure you've done well enough with Occlumency now, Harry – we can start Legilimency lessons from today," said Lupin. "I haven't been able to access anything of your mind for the last two weeks – and trust me, I've been trying. The only thing I get an occasional flash of when your concentration lapses is a certain redheaded girl we both know?" He winked at Harry, who felt himself going pink around the ears.
"Yeah, well …" he muttered.
Lupin laughed. "Don't worry – it's between you and me," he said. "Now, I need to talk to you about Legilimency, because of the huge risks involved."
"You mean, with getting into Voldemort's head?" said Harry eagerly.
"Not just his head – anyone's," said Lupin seriously. "There are two things you need to understand about Legilimency, and where it can go wrong. The first is only applies if you are very, very good at it – you start becoming a bit of a psychic magnet."
"A what?" said Harry, startled.
"If you are a natural Legilimens, you sometimes find it hard to switch it off and you find yourself picking up emotional flotsam and jetsam from people around you," said Lupin. Harry started grinning. "No, seriously, Harry – it's not as fun as it sounds. It can be very hard to handle, as you can't filter it out and you end up seeing some stuff you don't really want to know about."
Privately, Harry thought he'd be quite keen to know what other people were thinking and feeling without their knowing it, but maybe Lupin had a point. He'd had some thoughts about certain people recently that he would just hate them knowing about.
"OK, that's the warning given on that one, but we'll only worry about it if it happens," said Lupin. "The other thing you need to know about is the Legilimens Curse."
"The Legilimens Curse? Never heard of that one – is it a part of Defence Against the Dark Arts? Sounds like an interesting hex," said Harry at once.
"It's not a hex or a jinx, Harry," said Lupin quietly. "It's a condition. You see, if you aren't thoroughly grounded in your own mind when you perform Legilimency, you can end up becoming mentally … untethered, and lose your mind completely when you enter another."
Harry thought about this, and frankly, it sounded horrible. "So… what happens to someone who suffers from the Legilimens Curse?"
"Well, it's not as if they can take up mental residence somewhere else, as Legilimency is not possession, just interaction between two minds," said Lupin. "Let's just say that there are quite a few people in St Mungo's who have suffered from this, and they're just … well, they're just not there any more. Mentally, they've left the building and there's nothing there – just a physical shell. We're not sure where the mind actually goes, but we suspect it lingers in a kind of psychic limbo until the physical body dies, and then the consciousness dies with it."
"Bloody hell!" said Harry, horrified. "Something like what happens with a Dementor's Kiss?"
"I suspect so," said Lupin. "See why it's important? And for you, the stakes are even higher. Voldemort would love to do that to you, so you're going to really need to know what you're doing before we even consider letting you try it on him."
Harry swallowed. He'd never thought this far, but now the time had come he was incredibly nervous.
"Right, then, let's get started," said Lupin briskly. "You're going to try Legilimency on me first, obviously, because I'm going to let you in. Then, as you get better at it, we'll get some other willing subjects who will try harder to resist you. Then, once you're totally comfortable, we'll teach you some further defence techniques … and you can take a run at Voldemort. But that's some way in the future – let's start with the basics."
He got Harry to clear his mind, in much the same way he did with his Occlumency exercises. "OK, now I want you to think about the thing that most makes you unique, the one thing that makes you Harry Potter," said Lupin.
"My scar?" ventured Harry nervously.
"No, that came about as a result of your first confrontation with Voldemort, so it's too close to him for comfort," said Lupin. "For me, it's not being a werewolf, but rather the fact that there is something about me that made my best friends work at becoming Animagi to be with me when I transformed. Think of something comforting, Harry, something that you can return to that makes you feel good about yourself."
Harry thought hard. Then suddenly it came to him, and it was so obvious he was amazed he hadn't thought about it before. "There must be something about me that makes my friends risks their lives over and over again for me," he said slowly. "Dumbledore says it's my heart that has saved me from Voldemort in the past – maybe it's also my heart that binds my friends to me."
"Excellent," said Lupin. "That'll do nicely. And by the way, Harry, you really are lucky to have such good friends around you."
Harry felt a sudden rush of gratitude to Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville and Luna. I must remember to tell them, he thought. I've never said it, and maybe the time has come.
"OK – ready to give it a try?" said Lupin.
Harry nodded. His throat was too dry to speak.
"Clear your mind, then focus on your uniqueness," said Lupin softly. "Once you've got that, I want you to open your eyes, look into mine and say Legilimens! while pointing your wand at my head. Got it?"
Harry closed his eyes and concentrated on clearing his emotions. He thought about his friends, and their loyalty and love, and felt warmth washing through him. Suffused with the feeling, he opened his eyes, looked into Lupin's clear grey ones, and said: "Legilimens!"
It was the oddest feeling. It was as if he was sliding along a highly polished floor at great speed. He had the feeling of great height and depth around him, but no real feeling of substance. Then Lupin's memories hit him.
… a small boy, running in fear and screaming, while an enormous, slavering wolf chased him … finally pinned into a corner, he felt a paralyzing burst of fear and pain as the wolf ripped at the boy's leg with dripping fangs .. the pain was indescribable … then a woman, crying and sobbing over him while a man bellowed at the sky … "no, not my son, not my son" … a boy, a teenager, watching his own hands in horror as they rapidly turned into claws …
Suddenly, the memories changed … the boy, walking through the halls of Hogwarts with three other boys … James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew, all laughing … a Quidditch game, with James soaring overhead …
With a lurch, Harry found himself pulled back into the present as Lupin blocked him using his Occlumency skills. They stared at each other, panting with effort. Harry's head was throbbing, his eyes watering with the pain.
"Are you all right, Remus?" he gasped.
Lupin, looking shaken, nodded. "I was right about you …" he said, almost to himself. "You have a natural talent for this. I've never come across someone who could manage it on their first try …"
Harry looked down at his trembling hands. "I guess it's just something else that Voldemort transferred to me on the night he killed my parents," he whispered. "Another weapon for me to use against him."