~Chapter Four: Moo...~
Eventually, Malfoy stopped complaining that his nose was bleeding. Hermione assumed that it had stopped. She was almost disappointed. "Is my hankie stained beyond belief?" she asked, thinking that it probably was.
After a moment, Malfoy said, "...Yes."
"You bled all over it, didn't you?"
"Rassafriggamfraggam...next time, you walk into the tree."
Right then, Hermione walked into a tree, scraping her shoulder on the bark. She didn't say anything.
"What was that sound?"
"What sound?"
"Sounds like someone just walked into a tree," he said suspiciously.
"You're hearing things, Malfoy."
"Sure I am, Granger..."
Rolling her eyes, Hermione suddenly felt a change. It didn't register for a moment what it was. Then she realized. "Malfoy! We're walking on grass!"
"Great, Granger. Now you can eat."
"Excuse me?!"
"Moo..."
"That is the one thing that I thought I'd never hear you say, Malfoy. But at least you finally show your true colors." Black and white.
"What's so great about us walking on grass anyway? Are you that thrilled about grass-stains?"
"Yes, well--no, but--it's a change, isn't it?" Hermione was too excited to let his sarcasm bring her down. "Besides, grass is softer to sleep on than leaves."
"And quieter. You were making so much noise last night."
"At least I don't snore!"
"I do not snore!"
"I never said you did. I'm just saying that I don't."
"Well--I--"
"Getting defensive for no reason, eh? Or are you denying that you snore because you actually do?"
"Rassafriggamfraggamstoopidgranger..."
Smiling triumphantly, Hermione gave Malfoy's hand a tug to indicate that they should continue walking.
"What was that for, Granger?"
"We should keep going."
"Why? We already found the grass. You were so excited about the grass, and now you want to leave the grass without even stopping for tea. The grass must be insulted, I know I would be if I were the grass that you abandoned."
"Well, despite what you said earlier, grass is not food, and we'll have to eat something sooner or later." She pulled at his hand again. This time he followed as he grumbled.
*********
They'd walked a long way that day, and Hermione was so hungry she was almost ready to actually eat the grass. Moo--no! Must--not--give--in! Instead of eating the grass, since she knew she'd be teased to no end by Malfoy if she did, she dried off a patch of the grass with the same spell she'd used before.
"I think my feet are going to fall off," said Malfoy, plopping to the ground. As he was still holding her hand, Hermione was dragged down with him. They sat, once again, back-to-back. It was almost becoming a familiar way to sleep. Almost.
"God, I hope not. Then I'd have to carry you."
"Like you could."
"It's called 'Mobilicorpus,' Malfoy, and I think I'd run you into a couple of trees."
"Oh, please don't. My nose has already taken more than it can handle. It'll be traumatized for life."
"What is it with you and personifying things?"
"What?"
"Never mind."
Hermione could tell that they were both tired, since their banter was half-hearted at best. But at least the grass was a great deal more comfortable than those stupid leaves from the previous night. "Malfoy?"
"Ungh?"
"What do you think they're doing at home--I mean, at Hogwarts--without us?"
"I expect that Potter and Weasley have flown off the handle with some stupid story about me kidnapping you. As if I would want to."
"Yeah," said Hermione sleepily, smiling a bit. "I expect they have."
"I'm hungry..."
"Me too...sleep might take our minds off eating, eh?"
"I bet Pansy is sobbing her stupid sappy eyes out about me," said Malfoy drowsily. "And I bet my dad's going to blame it all on Dumbledore."
"What about Crabbe and Goyle?"
"Them. Oh yeah. They'll have forgotten all about it by now."
"Really?"
"Yeah. In fact, I bet they're looking around the common room right now, trying to find me. Idiots."
"Why do you hang around with them, anyway?"
"I've forgotten. I think it was originally 'cause they were friends of the family, or something, I think." Uh-oh. He was repeating himself. Better let him go to sleep.
"'Night, Malfoy."
For a moment, there was no sound but their breathing.
"Malfoy? When are you planning on letting go of my hand?"
*********
Strange sounds of chewing filled Hermione's dreams, and then she felt, quite distinctly, that her arm was wet. Her eyes opened, and she realized she wasn't dreaming anymore at the sight of the fog. "Malfoy?" The sounds of chewing persisted. "Malfoy?!"
"Eh? What? Oh, yuck..."
"Oh my god, that's disgusting!"
"Bleh!" There were the sounds of spitting.
"EW!" Hermione's arms flew out, and her left forearm hit across something. Hard. "Ow!" she shouted, at the same time Malfoy yelled,
"Ow! By dose!"
"First you bloody up my hankie, and now you're slobbering all over my robes! You just can't keep your bodily fluids to yourself, can you, Malfoy?!"
"I'll have you doe that by bodily fluids are quite doble! Besides, dat souds very wrog."
"You are sick, Malfoy!"
Malfoy's nose didn't seem to be too grievously hurt, as he started speaking normally again. "No, I'm hungry. Why do you think I was trying to eat your clothes?!"
"You were doing it on purpose?! Ew, that's even worse!" Hermione felt at her damp sleeve, grimaced, and wiped off the offending liquid on Malfoy's sleeve as quickly as possible. Then she wiped the Malfoy stink off her hand on her skirt.
"I was asleep, oh brilliant one! I dreamed I found this really wonderful, juicy, toasted-bun roast beef sandwich." He then seemed to dissolve into a fantasy world. "It was really tender, and it had just the right texture, and it glowed before I picked it up, and...mmm..."
"Oh, don't talk about food, I'm too...mmm..."
"I know! It was really great!"
"Go back to sleep. And stop trying to eat my robes."
"But I can't sleep now. I'm too disgusted by thoughts of chewing on the robes of a Mudblood."
"Not that again. I don't have any germs that you don't have."
"Don't be too sure."
"Malfoy, you stupid, awful, horrible prat! I can't believe I had to get stuck here with you! You are, without a doubt, the most arrogant, thoughtless, heartless idiot I've ever met!"
"Hey! I'm not an idiot!"
"Ugh. Just go to sleep."
"Fine. But I'm going to sleep for me, not for you."
"I don't care. I'm going to sleep."
"Fine." Malfoy fell asleep within five minutes. And then...he began to snore. Oh, thought Hermione, this will be great blackmail if we get back. Unfortunately, however, that was the only upside to the situation, and it took her another hour to drift off after that.
*********
In the morning, Hermione awoke to find that the fog had cleared. She was staring up at a cool, purple sky, which was a bit odd, but she didn't really care, since at least she could see it. Then she realized exactly why she had awoken.
Looking down, she saw that some sort of plant's tendril had wrapped around her ankle, and was gradually increasing its grip. When she tried to extract herself, it tugged sharply and began to drag her across the ground.
Hermione did the only thing reasonable in such a situation. She screamed.
*********
A/N: We apologize profoundly for the delay in updating, but we couldn't get together to finish this chapter. We're buggers. Anywho, royal purple balloon animals for anyone who reviews!