~The Curse That Went Awry~
~Chapter 9: Cold Out Here~
***
_I'm not looking. I will not look. I will be strong. Malfoys are *strong.* I can overcome the compulsion to look. Really. I'm *not looking.* *Ever.* ...Well, okay, maybe not *ever,* but...no, *ever.* Not looking. Not._
"Malfoy, you'd better not be looking at me!"
Draco snapped his head back around, to face what was designated his side of the stream. He tried to focus on the chill water rushing past his thighs. "I wasn't! And the feeling's mutual, Granger!"
"Good!"
"Better!"
"Ugh!"
"What, did you step on a rock?"
"Shut up, Malfoy. And don't look."
Draco squeezed his eyes shut, so that even if he turned around, he'd be unable to see anything. "I wouldn't *want* to look, anyway."
Granger seemed to take offense at this. "And why not?!" she demanded angrily.
"I thought you didn't *want* me to look!" Girls. Geez.
"I don't! I mean--ugh!"
For a moment, there was silence, other than the rushing of the stream. Draco opened his eyes, darted a glance to check that his clothes were still on the bank of the stream, then quickly snapped his eyes back and squeezed them shut again. Then, unable to see to wash himself, he focused on the sounds around him. Hmm...the trees rustling, some kind of bird calling, the water running, Hermione washing herself...NO! BAD!
"You're not looking, are you?"
"Will you *shut* *up*?!"
"Fine!"
_I should look,_ Draco told himself. _I should look just to annoy her. But...no! I shouldn't look!_ This gave him pause for a moment, and he tilted his head to the side, eyes still closed. _Wait. Why am I not looking? Because she told me not to look? ...That's stupid. I should look..._ Slowly, fighting himself, Draco opened his eyes and turned his head...
"Don't look!"
"I'm NOT!" Draco's voice resounded through the clearing. "What are you, five?!" _Oh, now I know why I'm not looking...for one thing, I'm more *mature* than that. And...er...for another, if I were to look--I'd probably be eaten alive. Yeah! That's it! I'd be eaten alive! That's why I'm not looking! It's not like I care about her--feelings--or anything! I just don't want to die! So...I won't look, and I won't be eaten._ "Although, who could blame her, really," said Draco softly, "I'd taste *good.*"
"What, Malfoy?" came a call from downstream.
"Mind your own business!"
"Well, so long as you're not *looking*--"
"RrrrrrrgggGH!" postulated Draco. _That's it. I'm opening my eyes to wash myself, and if I *happen* to look over there, well, then...I'm opening my eyes, dammit!_ Draco opened his eyes, glanced down, muttered, "Cold out here," then promptly dunked the rest of himself into the stream. Surfacing, he immediately shouted, "AHH! Great flogging flobberworms!"
"What?!" came Granger's voice, sounding louder than before, and panicky. "Did something bite you?!"
"Don't *look,* Granger!"
"I didn't--I mean, I wasn't!" _Damn her, she looked._ "I mean--I'm looking *much* less than you!"
She was probably right, except...no, wait. He hadn't looked at her yet. "No, nothing *bit* me, Granger, this water's just...very cold."
There was a faint, "Oh."
Brushing his soaking hair out of his face, Draco proceeded to get as clean as he could without soap or any handy cleaning supplies. "My hair is going to suffer for this, Granger," Draco finally called to his companion to break the uneasy silence.
"*Your* hair? I have more than you, Malfoy, *and* it's pure evil."
"Finally we agree on something, Granger."
"What, that my hair's harder to care for?"
"No, that it's pure evil."
"Ugh."
"Don't blame me. You set yourself up."
There was no response. Draco resumed his bathing. Geez, how had he managed to *get* this filthy? After a moment, there was a gentle sloshing from downstream, and Draco could tell Granger was heading to shore. Finally, he heard, "Oh, for Pete's sake--ugh, MALFOY! YOU ARE *REALLY* GONNA GET IT THIS TIME!"
"What? What?!" Confused, Draco turned around.
A high-pitched shriek echoed through the woodlands, and some birds took wing. "MALFOY! You're LOOKING!"
"Well, so were you!" reasoned Draco in the tones of a petulant child.
Hermione stopped just as she was about to yell again, and simply stared.
Draco paused as well, then realized, and looked down. Finally he had the presence of mind to cover himself. "What's the problem, Granger?" he spat, mortified.
Granger finally tore her eyes away. Honestly, didn't girls have anything better to do than stare at his...naked...nakedness? _I mean, I know I'm Draco Malfoy, but...I must be *slightly* resistible! ...Wait, no, nevermind._ "B-blood," she stuttered, fixing her gaze on what she held in her hands, what she now lifted to cover herself, what Draco recognized as her clothes.
"Huh?" The cold must have been getting to him. Or perhaps it was just the fact that she was wearing absolutely positively...negatively...philosophically...metaphysically...physically, that is...was that steam rising off of him?
"You got *blood* on my *clothes,*" she growled indignantly, obviously trying to muster some dignity. "You bastard."
"Oh, ex*cuse* me for being in pain and spilling my life's blood in the dirt!"
"Are you saying my clothes are--?!"
"No, you know that's not what I meant, Granger, I meant that..." Quite suddenly, Draco realized that he was holding an argument while completely in the buff. Ever so carefully, he bent his knees and disappeared under the water. When he resurfaced, Granger had turned her back and covered it. Thank the gods. Because he *wasn't* *looking*! In a rush of bravado, mixed with complete embarrassment, Draco darted over to his clothes--
Or...at least...
Where his clothes used to be.
Goosebumps rising all over his body, Draco ducked behind a tree, and, if possible, grew even *more* embarrassed. "Granger!" he hissed in her general direction.
"Oh, what is it *now,* Malfoy?"
Hmm...maybe he shouldn't have bled on her clothes... "What did you do with them?"
"Them *who*?"
"You know damn well who--I mean, what!" Curse the woman for making him tongue-tied!
"*What* are you talking about?"
"Look, Granger," he said with a combination of humiliation and feigned casualness, "you can either give them back, or force me to walk around skyclad. And, although I know you would *enjoy* the second option, I don't feel completely comfortable having my...special manparts exposed to the elements of nature."
"Oh, your *clothes*?"
"*Yes,* Granger. Now give them back, or I shall have to beat you with a handy branch."
"What makes you think *I* have them?"
"First they were here, now they're gone, add up the arithmancy sum, Granger."
"I *didn't* take them!"
"You're the only one around!"
"Well, if you want them so badly, why don't you *look* for them?"
"Because it's much easier to make you *give them back to me,*" Draco argued, shivering.
"I don't have them! Ugh! _Accio_ Malfoy's clothes." There was a faint 'whump.' A few seconds later, she said, "Er, Malfoy?"
"Yes?" he drawled.
"You were wearing more than just pants before, weren't you?"
"Believe me, Granger, if I were wearing only pants, you wouldn't be able to concentrate on--"
"Malfoy, this isn't funny!"
"I am well aware of that, Granger! Are you *sure* all you have is my trousers?"
"Yes!"
"Well...give them to me."
"...How?"
"What do you mean, 'How'? Are you familiar with the concept of handing things to people?"
"Couldn't you just Summon them?"
"Ahem...Granger. You poor, innocent girl. Where do you think I keep my wand? Because it's certainly not up my arse."
"It's not in your pockets..."
"You went through my pockets?" demanded Draco, outraged.
"I could...banish them to you?"
"You will do no such thing to my pants," Draco proclaimed.
After a few seconds, there was the sound of approaching footsteps, then a rustle, and a delicate hand clutching Draco's trousers in a fierce grip extended around the trunk of the tree. "Don't look, Granger," Draco told her once again, donning his trousers with blushing face. _Funny...I still feel naked,_ thought Draco as he stepped out from behind the tree. Hermione was blushing, too, looking away almost shyly. "So...no underwear?"
Another awkward moment ensued.
"Right. Never mind. But, er, where *is* my wand, if not in my pockets?"
"It probably fell out on the ground somewhere," answered Granger, turning away to search the forest floor with her eyes. Drawing out her own wand, she spoke the spell to light it, got down on her hands and knees and started to search the long grass. After a couple of moments, Draco knelt down beside her, seeing as her wand was the only source of light, and they combed through the underbrush together. "Malfoy?"
"What?" snapped Draco, getting annoyed at the absence of his own wand.
"What *could* have happened to your clothes? That is, since we know I didn't take them--"
"Maybe *you* know that."
"--what could have? Do you suppose--?" she interrupted herself with a gasp. "--Do you suppose there are wild animals about?"
"Relax, Granger," Draco reassured her, glancing around nervously before returning to searching the ground. "There aren't any wild animals."
"There *could* be...oh!"
"Aha!" exclaimed Draco at the same time. Both their hands landed on his wand, lying innocuously in the grass. Picking it up and pocketing it, Draco lifted himself to his feet. Granger followed, and for a brief moment, they stood in silence, not knowing quite where to direct their gazes. "Well," said Draco.
"Hmm," responded Hermione.
"Er...uh...sleep would be nice. That is, if we plan on...going anywhere...tomorrow..."
"Hmm."
"So..."
"Mm-hmm." Awkwardly, they turned their backs on each other and returned to their normal sleeping position, back-to-back, and settled in for the night.
Only this time, Draco was acutely aware of how very, very shirtless he was.
***
A/N: YES! We're BACK! And with NEKKIDNESS! We apologize for the overly-long delay, but be ready for another. Delay, that is. Both very busy. You know. But, yay! Nekkidness!
Review for Write-The-Next-Chapter-You-Bitches balloon animals. Once you get 'em, you can throw 'em at us!
~Chapter 9: Cold Out Here~
***
_I'm not looking. I will not look. I will be strong. Malfoys are *strong.* I can overcome the compulsion to look. Really. I'm *not looking.* *Ever.* ...Well, okay, maybe not *ever,* but...no, *ever.* Not looking. Not._
"Malfoy, you'd better not be looking at me!"
Draco snapped his head back around, to face what was designated his side of the stream. He tried to focus on the chill water rushing past his thighs. "I wasn't! And the feeling's mutual, Granger!"
"Good!"
"Better!"
"Ugh!"
"What, did you step on a rock?"
"Shut up, Malfoy. And don't look."
Draco squeezed his eyes shut, so that even if he turned around, he'd be unable to see anything. "I wouldn't *want* to look, anyway."
Granger seemed to take offense at this. "And why not?!" she demanded angrily.
"I thought you didn't *want* me to look!" Girls. Geez.
"I don't! I mean--ugh!"
For a moment, there was silence, other than the rushing of the stream. Draco opened his eyes, darted a glance to check that his clothes were still on the bank of the stream, then quickly snapped his eyes back and squeezed them shut again. Then, unable to see to wash himself, he focused on the sounds around him. Hmm...the trees rustling, some kind of bird calling, the water running, Hermione washing herself...NO! BAD!
"You're not looking, are you?"
"Will you *shut* *up*?!"
"Fine!"
_I should look,_ Draco told himself. _I should look just to annoy her. But...no! I shouldn't look!_ This gave him pause for a moment, and he tilted his head to the side, eyes still closed. _Wait. Why am I not looking? Because she told me not to look? ...That's stupid. I should look..._ Slowly, fighting himself, Draco opened his eyes and turned his head...
"Don't look!"
"I'm NOT!" Draco's voice resounded through the clearing. "What are you, five?!" _Oh, now I know why I'm not looking...for one thing, I'm more *mature* than that. And...er...for another, if I were to look--I'd probably be eaten alive. Yeah! That's it! I'd be eaten alive! That's why I'm not looking! It's not like I care about her--feelings--or anything! I just don't want to die! So...I won't look, and I won't be eaten._ "Although, who could blame her, really," said Draco softly, "I'd taste *good.*"
"What, Malfoy?" came a call from downstream.
"Mind your own business!"
"Well, so long as you're not *looking*--"
"RrrrrrrgggGH!" postulated Draco. _That's it. I'm opening my eyes to wash myself, and if I *happen* to look over there, well, then...I'm opening my eyes, dammit!_ Draco opened his eyes, glanced down, muttered, "Cold out here," then promptly dunked the rest of himself into the stream. Surfacing, he immediately shouted, "AHH! Great flogging flobberworms!"
"What?!" came Granger's voice, sounding louder than before, and panicky. "Did something bite you?!"
"Don't *look,* Granger!"
"I didn't--I mean, I wasn't!" _Damn her, she looked._ "I mean--I'm looking *much* less than you!"
She was probably right, except...no, wait. He hadn't looked at her yet. "No, nothing *bit* me, Granger, this water's just...very cold."
There was a faint, "Oh."
Brushing his soaking hair out of his face, Draco proceeded to get as clean as he could without soap or any handy cleaning supplies. "My hair is going to suffer for this, Granger," Draco finally called to his companion to break the uneasy silence.
"*Your* hair? I have more than you, Malfoy, *and* it's pure evil."
"Finally we agree on something, Granger."
"What, that my hair's harder to care for?"
"No, that it's pure evil."
"Ugh."
"Don't blame me. You set yourself up."
There was no response. Draco resumed his bathing. Geez, how had he managed to *get* this filthy? After a moment, there was a gentle sloshing from downstream, and Draco could tell Granger was heading to shore. Finally, he heard, "Oh, for Pete's sake--ugh, MALFOY! YOU ARE *REALLY* GONNA GET IT THIS TIME!"
"What? What?!" Confused, Draco turned around.
A high-pitched shriek echoed through the woodlands, and some birds took wing. "MALFOY! You're LOOKING!"
"Well, so were you!" reasoned Draco in the tones of a petulant child.
Hermione stopped just as she was about to yell again, and simply stared.
Draco paused as well, then realized, and looked down. Finally he had the presence of mind to cover himself. "What's the problem, Granger?" he spat, mortified.
Granger finally tore her eyes away. Honestly, didn't girls have anything better to do than stare at his...naked...nakedness? _I mean, I know I'm Draco Malfoy, but...I must be *slightly* resistible! ...Wait, no, nevermind._ "B-blood," she stuttered, fixing her gaze on what she held in her hands, what she now lifted to cover herself, what Draco recognized as her clothes.
"Huh?" The cold must have been getting to him. Or perhaps it was just the fact that she was wearing absolutely positively...negatively...philosophically...metaphysically...physically, that is...was that steam rising off of him?
"You got *blood* on my *clothes,*" she growled indignantly, obviously trying to muster some dignity. "You bastard."
"Oh, ex*cuse* me for being in pain and spilling my life's blood in the dirt!"
"Are you saying my clothes are--?!"
"No, you know that's not what I meant, Granger, I meant that..." Quite suddenly, Draco realized that he was holding an argument while completely in the buff. Ever so carefully, he bent his knees and disappeared under the water. When he resurfaced, Granger had turned her back and covered it. Thank the gods. Because he *wasn't* *looking*! In a rush of bravado, mixed with complete embarrassment, Draco darted over to his clothes--
Or...at least...
Where his clothes used to be.
Goosebumps rising all over his body, Draco ducked behind a tree, and, if possible, grew even *more* embarrassed. "Granger!" he hissed in her general direction.
"Oh, what is it *now,* Malfoy?"
Hmm...maybe he shouldn't have bled on her clothes... "What did you do with them?"
"Them *who*?"
"You know damn well who--I mean, what!" Curse the woman for making him tongue-tied!
"*What* are you talking about?"
"Look, Granger," he said with a combination of humiliation and feigned casualness, "you can either give them back, or force me to walk around skyclad. And, although I know you would *enjoy* the second option, I don't feel completely comfortable having my...special manparts exposed to the elements of nature."
"Oh, your *clothes*?"
"*Yes,* Granger. Now give them back, or I shall have to beat you with a handy branch."
"What makes you think *I* have them?"
"First they were here, now they're gone, add up the arithmancy sum, Granger."
"I *didn't* take them!"
"You're the only one around!"
"Well, if you want them so badly, why don't you *look* for them?"
"Because it's much easier to make you *give them back to me,*" Draco argued, shivering.
"I don't have them! Ugh! _Accio_ Malfoy's clothes." There was a faint 'whump.' A few seconds later, she said, "Er, Malfoy?"
"Yes?" he drawled.
"You were wearing more than just pants before, weren't you?"
"Believe me, Granger, if I were wearing only pants, you wouldn't be able to concentrate on--"
"Malfoy, this isn't funny!"
"I am well aware of that, Granger! Are you *sure* all you have is my trousers?"
"Yes!"
"Well...give them to me."
"...How?"
"What do you mean, 'How'? Are you familiar with the concept of handing things to people?"
"Couldn't you just Summon them?"
"Ahem...Granger. You poor, innocent girl. Where do you think I keep my wand? Because it's certainly not up my arse."
"It's not in your pockets..."
"You went through my pockets?" demanded Draco, outraged.
"I could...banish them to you?"
"You will do no such thing to my pants," Draco proclaimed.
After a few seconds, there was the sound of approaching footsteps, then a rustle, and a delicate hand clutching Draco's trousers in a fierce grip extended around the trunk of the tree. "Don't look, Granger," Draco told her once again, donning his trousers with blushing face. _Funny...I still feel naked,_ thought Draco as he stepped out from behind the tree. Hermione was blushing, too, looking away almost shyly. "So...no underwear?"
Another awkward moment ensued.
"Right. Never mind. But, er, where *is* my wand, if not in my pockets?"
"It probably fell out on the ground somewhere," answered Granger, turning away to search the forest floor with her eyes. Drawing out her own wand, she spoke the spell to light it, got down on her hands and knees and started to search the long grass. After a couple of moments, Draco knelt down beside her, seeing as her wand was the only source of light, and they combed through the underbrush together. "Malfoy?"
"What?" snapped Draco, getting annoyed at the absence of his own wand.
"What *could* have happened to your clothes? That is, since we know I didn't take them--"
"Maybe *you* know that."
"--what could have? Do you suppose--?" she interrupted herself with a gasp. "--Do you suppose there are wild animals about?"
"Relax, Granger," Draco reassured her, glancing around nervously before returning to searching the ground. "There aren't any wild animals."
"There *could* be...oh!"
"Aha!" exclaimed Draco at the same time. Both their hands landed on his wand, lying innocuously in the grass. Picking it up and pocketing it, Draco lifted himself to his feet. Granger followed, and for a brief moment, they stood in silence, not knowing quite where to direct their gazes. "Well," said Draco.
"Hmm," responded Hermione.
"Er...uh...sleep would be nice. That is, if we plan on...going anywhere...tomorrow..."
"Hmm."
"So..."
"Mm-hmm." Awkwardly, they turned their backs on each other and returned to their normal sleeping position, back-to-back, and settled in for the night.
Only this time, Draco was acutely aware of how very, very shirtless he was.
***
A/N: YES! We're BACK! And with NEKKIDNESS! We apologize for the overly-long delay, but be ready for another. Delay, that is. Both very busy. You know. But, yay! Nekkidness!
Review for Write-The-Next-Chapter-You-Bitches balloon animals. Once you get 'em, you can throw 'em at us!