Author's Note: Okay, so I removed all of the chapters from FF.N then I went
to go open the file on my computer at school. It wasn't there, "Nooo!" I
yelled, scaring several students in the lab with me. So I did a frantic
search through the hard drive, my e-mail, ANYWHERE that the whole story
might be. It was lost. I cried, I cussed, and I realized I was late to
work. Speeding out of there and I ran the whole way to the mall, inducing
an asthma attack, my anger was so great. So since I am grounded TILL JUNE
at home I can't get online there. I knew there would be no more updates
till I got back to school. But then I thought, "Why bother? You lost the
whole story!! It is dead, gone, BURIED in the nothingness of the internet!"
I then saw that the house was empty and got online to drown my sorrow in
Hermione Granger/Severus Snape fiction. BUT THEN! The clouds rolled by and
the sun came out, angels sang and blind men saw! MY COMPUTER AT HOME HAD MY
BACK UP OF THE WHOLE STORY! I cried more, I cussed more as my foster
mother's car pulled up, and I quickly shut down the computer. Long story
Short, I had a big scare and am now better. Here is the next installment!
Disclaimer: I own my computer, the wonderful, mind-saving device that it is. I own the shirt on my back, the pen in my bookbag, and I also own McKenzie. But I DO NOT OWN LOGAN OR ANY OTHER X-MEN! No matter how many times I try to convince the world otherwise!!!
~*~*~
I spent weeks avoiding her. Acting like there was nothing wrong. I knew she was upset that our daily training never happened, or that I stopped meeting her outside of her last class. We used to sit and read without talking. Or sometimes talk about everything there was. I remember getting mad at her because she got me as hooked on the school gossip as Jubes or Kitty. Bit by bit I stopped meeting her, stopped talking when we passed. Looking back, I see what a huge mistake it was. I had even stopped coming to her room when she woke screaming from the dreams. I told myself she needed to learn to get along without me.
As a kid she needed me. But I had forced myself to realize something. Marie is not a kid. She is growing into a fine young woman. I was getting in her way by being there. That is what I told myself anyway. I kept saying that when I passed her going to dinner. Or when we would go on a mission and I watched her risk her life for strangers. I was a fool. DAMNIT I wish I could change that time. I wish could take back those 32 days when I ignored Marie completely. I know because I counted them. I hated every single day. I just could not bring myself to admit that I might have loved Marie.
I woke up on the 32nd night away from Marie from the nightmares that still haunted me. If I ever get my hands on those damned scientists, I'll torture them in ways that will make what they did to me seem like a trip to the candy store. Maybe make them go shopping with Jubilee. No to painful, even for them, I chuckled at my own little joke, trying to make myself calm down. Walking down the hall to the kitchen, I heard a soft sobbing and could smell tears mingled with blood. What is going on! Racing down to where the smell came from I could soon hear crying and realizing whose room the smell and sound orinated from I tore in and looked around.
Marie lay on her side in bed, her knees pulled up to her chest, sobbing. Marie was in the middle of another dream. But where is the smell of blood...oh Christ. Marie's hands were caked in drying blood, as was her tank top and the sheets had smears of blood on them. Marie hadn't even noticed me. I moved over quickly and noticed her eyes were shut tight. She was asleep. How the hell could this had happened?
"Marie. Wake up. Marie." Shaking her, I tried to pull her from the nightmare she was in. When she wouldn't wake I picked her up, only half consciously mindful of her skin. God, even her arms had blood smeared on them. As fast as I could I ran cool water in the tub and sat her in it. Watching as she gasped and screamed, her eyes jerking open.
"Marie. Calm down!" The water was turning red with the blood and I moved to pull her out. I was dealt quite a shock when she looked at me and screamed again.
"JEAN! SCOTT! HELP!!" Her voice was shrill and took me by surprise. I let her go and attempted to speak her again when that damned Scott and Jean ran in. Jean was tugging at her bathrobe, and Scott had come in just his boxers and a shirt. Both looked half-asleep till the saw all of the blood. I guess we were not in the best of positions. Both covered in blood, Marie panting and screaming, her nightclothes crumpled, soaked, and stained with blood. Scott lifted his glasses and sent a blast at me. Oh, shit. I slammed into the wall and crumpled, loosing all senses as I passed out from that asshole's vision. Hit me right in the damn chest. Thank god for my mutation or I would be medium well done.
~*~*~*~*~*~
The first thing I heard was beeping. Damn I hate noise when I am trying to sleep...wait. My room doesn't even have an alarm clock...this doesn't smell like my room. I shot my eyes open and found myself in the med-lab. This place was becoming very familiar. Maybe I should move some of my clothes down here. I sat up, contemplating where I could stash a duffle bag and noticed the white glaze on my chest. Oh, Cyke. Pray you die before I next see you. Taking it off I was not surprised to find I was fine. I ripped off the heart monitors and turned it off as it went straight line. There, that takes care of that. I became aware of a scent and looked around. Marie is in here somewhere. I saw a white divider and went over pulling it back. My only thought when seeing my Grace was, "Shit."
Her arms were mummy-wrapped from the elbows down in gauze her palms were also wrapped. Marie was incredibly pale, and with her dark hair, she looked even more like the undead. She was receiving blood through and IV in her arm. I could understand that, she lost so much of her own the night before. I cussed again. "You shouldn't talk like that around my patients." I turned around to look at Jean.
"What happened to her? How did she get so bloody? How long was I out?" I fired all of my questions at her in rapid succession as Jean walked over and looked at Marie.
"12 hours, she had a night terror; oddly it wasn't a memory from one of the personalities in her head. Which most likely lead her to believe it was reality..." I was getting annoyed so I cut her off.
"Cliff notes version Red." I will never tell anyone that I am a patient person.
"She was trying to claw her way through something in her dream and ended up hurting herself."
"What was her dream about Jean?"
"I think she should tell you that herself Logan." She looked ready to leave and I grabbed her arm. To hell with telling me herself, I needed to know NOW.
"Jean. Tell me now." I growled at her and she sighed in defeat, knowing I would most likely resort to physical violence to get what I wanted. She was right.
"She told me she dreamt you died and was buried, then that while visiting your grave she heard you calling for her and started to dig w/ her hands to get through the dirt to you. She could hear you yelling about how there were worms that were trying to eat you alive. She found that they were crawling all over her arms. Marie said that no matter how much she pulled at them and clawed, more kept showing up. Then she woke up in the tub, saw you, and still in her dream she thought you were dead." My hand around her arm went slack and dropped to my side.
I didn't want to believe it. Marie dreamt about me. That was no news. But that her dream caused her to harm herself startled me. No, it scared me shitless. I was supposed to protect her. Not cause her to try to kill herself in her sleep. Damnit. I turned to leave and only to have Jean stop me by putting a hand on my shoulder.
"You can't leave now. Everyone has noticed how you have moved away from Rogue mentally and physically. The professor and I think that her missing you caused this dream. I will not sit here and pretend that she has always been perfectly happy here. But you have been able to penetrate through her shell. You seem to be the only person who has. If you run now, Lord knows what will happen." Jean looked me in the eyes and I glanced away trying not to let myself be swept up in a guilt trip. However, my eyes fell on Marie and I cursed again.
"I'm going to go to my room to sleep...please...would you tell me when she wakes up?" Without waiting for an answer, I left. Fled is more like it. I didn't want to love Marie, or to want to hold her in my arms. But I did, and seeing her like that made the animal in me cry out revenge. Revenge on the asshole who did this to her. The animal wanted to rip that person limb from limb and then stand over their dead corpse and howl. But I couldn't kill myself now could I? So I went to my room and I sat. I thought back to what Jean said about Marie missing me. I liked that. I stretched out on my bed and thought till I drifted to sleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~
When Marie woke, I was there, sitting beside her and hoping that she would be able to forgive me for my stupidity. She didn't seem to happy, but I was able to make her talk to me. I listen to her nightmare, and the more she told me about it the worse I felt. The words, I'm such an ass, kept running through my mind. She felt I was moving away because she saving me hurt my ego. Far from. If only I had told her that. But I seem destined to make a bunch of mistakes when it came to Marie. We were able to go back to our normal lives of talking and training, but I could feel a new tension around her, and was almost sure she could feel my tension too. I quit letting her drink anything, and sometimes I would wonder were she went, as my extra sensitive nose picked up traces of alcohol. For three months we continued in this fashion, then around December fifth or somewhere Marie was training with me and she had been talking during. This was normal but her question for the day was not.
"Logan. I was wondering, the Professor is throwing a Christmas party tomorrow night," She dodged my kick and blocked a punch from me. "and would you like to go with me?" I could hear her voice shake and I could smell that she was nervous. I stopped sparring and looked at her for a moment. I could feel the urge to kiss her starting up again, and fought it. I decided to make the mistake of playing off as if I were her protector still.
"Of course. I have to make sure no one messes with you kid." I could have sworn she looked hurt but I ignored it. I hated that nickname I gave her. Kid, that word makes her sound like jailbait. But at just eighteen, she wasn't. Why then do I still call her Kid? She doesn't look like a kid. I looked at her green sports bra admiring the view the tight top allowed me, her firm and muscled stomach, from so many hours of training with me. Her black loose sparring pants were tied tight at her hips and everything about her gave her body a very delicious look. No, she definitely does not look like a kid. She does not act like one, most of the time. She would play tricks on other students with Jubes and Kitty sometimes...but that was it. THEN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!!??
"Logan? Are you aright?" Marie touching my arm and saying my name pulled me out of my thoughts. I nodded and asked what time the party was. As Marie chattered on about the party, the guests, the dress while we sparred, I caught myself soaking up every word to make sure to remember what she wanted. Then I froze. I'm trying to please her. Like a damn pansy. What the damn hell is wrong with me!? I'm the badass don't-get-close freaking Wolverine! I looked at Marie who had stopped talking and was watching me as we sparred, she must have seen that my body was on auto-pilot because she simply stepped back and stopped sparring.
"Marie, I'm going to go out for a couple of days. I'll be back in time for the party." I needed to get away from Marie, I was slipping back into the "I want to love Marie" mode, which was not safe for either of us. Marie just nodded and I left, not even saying goodbye to her, one more mistake that I made while trying to keep myself from admitting that I had fallen in love with Marie. I spent a day in the next down over, and the day in our city trying to find a place to rent a tux, as I remembered that was what the attire was for me. Damn, I hate clothes that you have to keep nice.
~*~*~*~*~
Make sure to Review! That is if you like it! If you don't like it then....MAKE SURE TO FLAME!! ::smiles:: Peace, Love, and Bulletproof Marshmallows to you all!!
Disclaimer: I own my computer, the wonderful, mind-saving device that it is. I own the shirt on my back, the pen in my bookbag, and I also own McKenzie. But I DO NOT OWN LOGAN OR ANY OTHER X-MEN! No matter how many times I try to convince the world otherwise!!!
~*~*~
I spent weeks avoiding her. Acting like there was nothing wrong. I knew she was upset that our daily training never happened, or that I stopped meeting her outside of her last class. We used to sit and read without talking. Or sometimes talk about everything there was. I remember getting mad at her because she got me as hooked on the school gossip as Jubes or Kitty. Bit by bit I stopped meeting her, stopped talking when we passed. Looking back, I see what a huge mistake it was. I had even stopped coming to her room when she woke screaming from the dreams. I told myself she needed to learn to get along without me.
As a kid she needed me. But I had forced myself to realize something. Marie is not a kid. She is growing into a fine young woman. I was getting in her way by being there. That is what I told myself anyway. I kept saying that when I passed her going to dinner. Or when we would go on a mission and I watched her risk her life for strangers. I was a fool. DAMNIT I wish I could change that time. I wish could take back those 32 days when I ignored Marie completely. I know because I counted them. I hated every single day. I just could not bring myself to admit that I might have loved Marie.
I woke up on the 32nd night away from Marie from the nightmares that still haunted me. If I ever get my hands on those damned scientists, I'll torture them in ways that will make what they did to me seem like a trip to the candy store. Maybe make them go shopping with Jubilee. No to painful, even for them, I chuckled at my own little joke, trying to make myself calm down. Walking down the hall to the kitchen, I heard a soft sobbing and could smell tears mingled with blood. What is going on! Racing down to where the smell came from I could soon hear crying and realizing whose room the smell and sound orinated from I tore in and looked around.
Marie lay on her side in bed, her knees pulled up to her chest, sobbing. Marie was in the middle of another dream. But where is the smell of blood...oh Christ. Marie's hands were caked in drying blood, as was her tank top and the sheets had smears of blood on them. Marie hadn't even noticed me. I moved over quickly and noticed her eyes were shut tight. She was asleep. How the hell could this had happened?
"Marie. Wake up. Marie." Shaking her, I tried to pull her from the nightmare she was in. When she wouldn't wake I picked her up, only half consciously mindful of her skin. God, even her arms had blood smeared on them. As fast as I could I ran cool water in the tub and sat her in it. Watching as she gasped and screamed, her eyes jerking open.
"Marie. Calm down!" The water was turning red with the blood and I moved to pull her out. I was dealt quite a shock when she looked at me and screamed again.
"JEAN! SCOTT! HELP!!" Her voice was shrill and took me by surprise. I let her go and attempted to speak her again when that damned Scott and Jean ran in. Jean was tugging at her bathrobe, and Scott had come in just his boxers and a shirt. Both looked half-asleep till the saw all of the blood. I guess we were not in the best of positions. Both covered in blood, Marie panting and screaming, her nightclothes crumpled, soaked, and stained with blood. Scott lifted his glasses and sent a blast at me. Oh, shit. I slammed into the wall and crumpled, loosing all senses as I passed out from that asshole's vision. Hit me right in the damn chest. Thank god for my mutation or I would be medium well done.
~*~*~*~*~*~
The first thing I heard was beeping. Damn I hate noise when I am trying to sleep...wait. My room doesn't even have an alarm clock...this doesn't smell like my room. I shot my eyes open and found myself in the med-lab. This place was becoming very familiar. Maybe I should move some of my clothes down here. I sat up, contemplating where I could stash a duffle bag and noticed the white glaze on my chest. Oh, Cyke. Pray you die before I next see you. Taking it off I was not surprised to find I was fine. I ripped off the heart monitors and turned it off as it went straight line. There, that takes care of that. I became aware of a scent and looked around. Marie is in here somewhere. I saw a white divider and went over pulling it back. My only thought when seeing my Grace was, "Shit."
Her arms were mummy-wrapped from the elbows down in gauze her palms were also wrapped. Marie was incredibly pale, and with her dark hair, she looked even more like the undead. She was receiving blood through and IV in her arm. I could understand that, she lost so much of her own the night before. I cussed again. "You shouldn't talk like that around my patients." I turned around to look at Jean.
"What happened to her? How did she get so bloody? How long was I out?" I fired all of my questions at her in rapid succession as Jean walked over and looked at Marie.
"12 hours, she had a night terror; oddly it wasn't a memory from one of the personalities in her head. Which most likely lead her to believe it was reality..." I was getting annoyed so I cut her off.
"Cliff notes version Red." I will never tell anyone that I am a patient person.
"She was trying to claw her way through something in her dream and ended up hurting herself."
"What was her dream about Jean?"
"I think she should tell you that herself Logan." She looked ready to leave and I grabbed her arm. To hell with telling me herself, I needed to know NOW.
"Jean. Tell me now." I growled at her and she sighed in defeat, knowing I would most likely resort to physical violence to get what I wanted. She was right.
"She told me she dreamt you died and was buried, then that while visiting your grave she heard you calling for her and started to dig w/ her hands to get through the dirt to you. She could hear you yelling about how there were worms that were trying to eat you alive. She found that they were crawling all over her arms. Marie said that no matter how much she pulled at them and clawed, more kept showing up. Then she woke up in the tub, saw you, and still in her dream she thought you were dead." My hand around her arm went slack and dropped to my side.
I didn't want to believe it. Marie dreamt about me. That was no news. But that her dream caused her to harm herself startled me. No, it scared me shitless. I was supposed to protect her. Not cause her to try to kill herself in her sleep. Damnit. I turned to leave and only to have Jean stop me by putting a hand on my shoulder.
"You can't leave now. Everyone has noticed how you have moved away from Rogue mentally and physically. The professor and I think that her missing you caused this dream. I will not sit here and pretend that she has always been perfectly happy here. But you have been able to penetrate through her shell. You seem to be the only person who has. If you run now, Lord knows what will happen." Jean looked me in the eyes and I glanced away trying not to let myself be swept up in a guilt trip. However, my eyes fell on Marie and I cursed again.
"I'm going to go to my room to sleep...please...would you tell me when she wakes up?" Without waiting for an answer, I left. Fled is more like it. I didn't want to love Marie, or to want to hold her in my arms. But I did, and seeing her like that made the animal in me cry out revenge. Revenge on the asshole who did this to her. The animal wanted to rip that person limb from limb and then stand over their dead corpse and howl. But I couldn't kill myself now could I? So I went to my room and I sat. I thought back to what Jean said about Marie missing me. I liked that. I stretched out on my bed and thought till I drifted to sleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~
When Marie woke, I was there, sitting beside her and hoping that she would be able to forgive me for my stupidity. She didn't seem to happy, but I was able to make her talk to me. I listen to her nightmare, and the more she told me about it the worse I felt. The words, I'm such an ass, kept running through my mind. She felt I was moving away because she saving me hurt my ego. Far from. If only I had told her that. But I seem destined to make a bunch of mistakes when it came to Marie. We were able to go back to our normal lives of talking and training, but I could feel a new tension around her, and was almost sure she could feel my tension too. I quit letting her drink anything, and sometimes I would wonder were she went, as my extra sensitive nose picked up traces of alcohol. For three months we continued in this fashion, then around December fifth or somewhere Marie was training with me and she had been talking during. This was normal but her question for the day was not.
"Logan. I was wondering, the Professor is throwing a Christmas party tomorrow night," She dodged my kick and blocked a punch from me. "and would you like to go with me?" I could hear her voice shake and I could smell that she was nervous. I stopped sparring and looked at her for a moment. I could feel the urge to kiss her starting up again, and fought it. I decided to make the mistake of playing off as if I were her protector still.
"Of course. I have to make sure no one messes with you kid." I could have sworn she looked hurt but I ignored it. I hated that nickname I gave her. Kid, that word makes her sound like jailbait. But at just eighteen, she wasn't. Why then do I still call her Kid? She doesn't look like a kid. I looked at her green sports bra admiring the view the tight top allowed me, her firm and muscled stomach, from so many hours of training with me. Her black loose sparring pants were tied tight at her hips and everything about her gave her body a very delicious look. No, she definitely does not look like a kid. She does not act like one, most of the time. She would play tricks on other students with Jubes and Kitty sometimes...but that was it. THEN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!!??
"Logan? Are you aright?" Marie touching my arm and saying my name pulled me out of my thoughts. I nodded and asked what time the party was. As Marie chattered on about the party, the guests, the dress while we sparred, I caught myself soaking up every word to make sure to remember what she wanted. Then I froze. I'm trying to please her. Like a damn pansy. What the damn hell is wrong with me!? I'm the badass don't-get-close freaking Wolverine! I looked at Marie who had stopped talking and was watching me as we sparred, she must have seen that my body was on auto-pilot because she simply stepped back and stopped sparring.
"Marie, I'm going to go out for a couple of days. I'll be back in time for the party." I needed to get away from Marie, I was slipping back into the "I want to love Marie" mode, which was not safe for either of us. Marie just nodded and I left, not even saying goodbye to her, one more mistake that I made while trying to keep myself from admitting that I had fallen in love with Marie. I spent a day in the next down over, and the day in our city trying to find a place to rent a tux, as I remembered that was what the attire was for me. Damn, I hate clothes that you have to keep nice.
~*~*~*~*~
Make sure to Review! That is if you like it! If you don't like it then....MAKE SURE TO FLAME!! ::smiles:: Peace, Love, and Bulletproof Marshmallows to you all!!