Oh look, I've finally discovered the plot again! Sing Hallelujah with me people. I'm back on track. No more inane ramblings (well, not many anyway). Big thanks to Momiji-Chan Wa Baka and Hydra-Star for reviewing so faithfully - If it wasn't for you guys, I would have abandoned this story somewhere along the second chapter. Stop looking so hopeful! I said 'I would have'. It's your own fault that I can't stop now.
Chapter 5
Miaka was finally asleep. Taka sighed softly as he looked down at her still form. She had finally depleted her energy and was sleeping peacefully. How one little girl like her could have so much energy would forever be the question that flummoxed him. On the other hand, maybe it had to do with the amount that she ate. Taka grinned at the thought before looking around the room. Mrs. Yuuki's cleaning rampage had obviously hit this room with its full intensity. Everything was so neat that even a pin out of place would have seemed glaringly obvious. It was also obvious that Miaka inhabited the room from the small army of stuffed animals that stared at him beadily from across the room. They had been jammed onto a shelf and Taka shuddered a little at their stares. Stuffed animals creeped him out. They always seemed to be watching him with their glassy little eyes…..
He was beginning to freak himself out. He looked back down at Miaka to distract himself. She was sleeping peacefully on the bed while he sat in a chair close to her bedside. She had seemed quite flustered earlier because she was wearing her pink bunny pajamas. Taka had thought that it was kind of sweet the way she had flushed and tried to hide them until giving up in exasperation when the heat of the blanket had been too much for her to bear. She had thrown the blanket off and challenged him with her eyes to say anything. When he had snickered slightly, she had tossed her head and refused to look at him. But ten minutes later she had forgiven him and now she lay asleep. Her auburn hair was spread out messily on the pillow, giving contrast to the beige color of the sheets. She was lying on her stomach with one hand drawn up to curl under her chin and the other clenched tightly around his hand, almost as if she was trying to anchor him to her in her sleep. A vague memory drifted to him of the same scene just at a different time and place -
The same girl clenching her fingers around his as if he would disappear if she let go, as if he would leave her and vanish into the darkness that waited outside the windows. He was aware of her feelings. That she knew the proposal was probably a trap to separate them. But the villages would suffer without his action. He couldn't let anything happen to his family. Even if the army of Konan hadn't been weak in comparison to the one that threatened them, he still would have gone. He needed to protect his family and he would do whatever it took to keep them safe. She no doubt understood that, and that was most likely to be the reason that she was holding on to him so tight. She wanted him to be safe. Just as he was trying to protect his family, she was trying to protect him. He was conscious of a sense of finality, almost, as he wrenched himself from the side of the Suzaku no miko to go out so that the border villages would be safe. He would go to Kutou tonight…..
Taka shook his head. Where had all of that come from? Konan? Kutou? The Suzaku no miko? It was all so jumbled in his head. The feelings had been so real, almost as if the event had actually taken place. He could still feel the firm resolve, the vague wrenching pain and the love in his system for the girl on the bed. He shook himself again. "That was either a memory or else I've hung out with this crowd too long. I don't understand it", he thought. The girl in the dreams, this Suzaku no miko that he had to leave behind, her face had been so familiar. She had lain on her stomach with her messy auburn curls shading her eyes from view, with one fist curled under her chin and the other holding to his hand. The only difference in the picture from the vision and the one presented to him now was the fact that she had been lying in a different room, on a different bed. The red sheets beneath her had made him think of roses. The girl had been - "Just like Miaka", he thought. It had been Miaka's face he had seen in the vision and Miaka's hand that had held on to his with such intensity. There was no doubt about it this time.
"It's definitely time to check out that book", he murmured aloud, "It's time I set this whole thing to rest once and for all. And I'll be able to discover the truth or else I'll finally expose the lies." Taka glanced down at Miaka again. In the vision, she had murmured the name 'Tamahome' in her sleep - The same name that she had called him by when they had first met. It had hurt him a little that the first time she had met him, the name on her lips was not his. He had explained that his name was Taka, that although he had some memories, he did not remember being a seishi nor did he remember any of the others. She had entreated him as Tamahome to remember. It hurt to remember the disappointment on her pretty features as he stated again that he didn't remember. It was almost as if he had already let her down. She had looked upset for another minute before smiling at him and taking his hand. But he had seen the look in her eyes and he knew that she was wishing that he were someone else, someone who had died long in the past. He may have been this seishi or whatever in a past life and he may have loved her as that man but the feelings that he had now were his own! He was his own person! "My name is Taka not Tamahome. I am Taka….. Not Tamahome!" he whispered fiercely, angrily.
Miaka turned restlessly in her sleep as if disturbed but his noise. He immediately tamped down his anger. Whatever she may have felt for his re-incarnation was in the past. He knew that she had loved him in the beginning for no other reason than the fact that he had been Tamahome. He might have the same soul as Tamahome but he didn't want his life to be a repeat of some life in the past that he couldn't even remember properly! It wasn't fair! But he was sure by now that her feelings ran deeper. That she loved him for himself, not whoever he had been once upon a time. This thought, more than anything else, calmed his anger completely and steeled his resolve even further. He would find out about this book and he would know, once and for all whether or not there was any truth in the stories.
He gently eased his hand out of her grip and leaned over to kiss her head. A faint smell of strawberries wafted up to him and he resisted the urge to bury his face in her hair. For some reason, he was feeling the same wrenching finality that he had felt in the vision. As if he was abandoning her. An old promise wafted to mind – Don't ever leave me behind. Never. Do you promise? - Miaka had made him promise that on the first day he met her. Even then he had been conscious of a vague sense of deja vu. He had wondered - who in his right mind would want to leave her behind? But he had dutifully promised and Keisuke had borne witness. Taka grinned at the idea of Keisuke taking him to task if ever, by some twist of fate, he was called to leave Miaka's side. Not that he ever would, mind you. He had made a vow and he would keep it until the day he died.
He got up and stretched his back so as to work out the kinks. He really did have a lot to get done today. He had to finish up a research paper and he wanted to go over the proposal he had received for a summer internship. The money really would help. While he had more than enough money for his own needs, Miaka was close to eating him out of house and home. And he wanted to buy her something special soon. Their anniversary was floating just around the corner. He was determined to make this one that she would remember. Maybe it was finally time to ask her -?
He shook off those thoughts and focused on his previous ones. He would go look for the book in the attic now and maybe take it back to his apartment. He could then read it at his leisure and see just how fascinating it was. The chances of it being magical were slim to none and Miaka had said that she guessed the book was dormant now. She hadn't really opened it since what she called the final summoning but she said that she guessed that it couldn't really be a danger since the each summoning of all four gods had taken place. As he opened the door to leave, he looked at the girl on the bed whose outstretched hand rested on his chair now. Calling him back to her. He watched as she grimaced, her face contorted in worry before she sighed out one word. A name. His name.