"I hate children, and you irritate the crap out of me," Yuki Eiri said
harshly as he butted his cigarette out in the ashtray beside the couch with
a great deal of force.
After typing all day to meet his upcoming deadline, he'd decided to kick back after a shower and have a few beers while watching the news. His rare piece of relaxation had been interrupted though when five minutes ago Shuichi had arrived home and completely out of the blue, had begged him to allow Sakuma Whatshisface's brat to stay with them while Tohma was off gallivanting over Europe.
Yuki had always considered Shuichi to be stupid, but this one really took the cake. How the stupid notion of looking after a brat for two weeks had gotten into his pink head he'd never know, and to be perfectly honest, he didn't really care to find out.
"Please, please Yuki!" Shuichi begged from the floor as Yuki looked very disinterested. "It's just for two weeks, and she's really mature for her age! You won't even notice that she's here!"
The wet towel that had been hanging around the novelist's neck smacked Shuichi in the face to stop him from saying anything further.
"Listen you idiot," Yuki said with his arms crossed. "Do you have any idea what teenage girls are like? They're hormone time bombs just waiting to explode. Putting up with one child-namely you-is my maximum limit. And where'd this feeling of obligation suddenly come from huh? Do you feel like you owe that Sakuma guy a favour because what he's done for you in the past?"
"That's not true!" Shuichi snapped pulling the towel off his head. "She's my friend and I don't want her to be on her own while she's ill!"
"Oh, right, you'd feel guilty if she kicked the bucket?"
"No!"
Shuichi sagged in defeat. He'd known that convincing Yuki wouldn't be easy, but he'd thought that he'd be at least reasonable when he said that Lily was sick. It seemed that the icicle just didn't want to thaw out.
Deciding that the debate had been settled, Yuki lit up another cigarette and focused his attention once more on the newsreader. Shuichi would have to think, and fast if he was going to get Lily in.
"Hey."
"Hey what?" Yuki asked blowing out some smoke without looking at him.
"What if, for you to let her stay," Shuichi gulped loudly. "I'll do anything you want in there," he pointed in the direction of the bedroom, "whenever you want."
Yuki let his cigarette rest on the side of the ashtray and with his right hand, grabbed Shuichi by the chin. His yellow eyes bore into the singer's soul, and Shuichi could smell traces of tobacco on his breath. Their eyes locked for a very long time.
"Just think about what you just said," Yuki whispered in a dangerous tone, "and just think about what it means."
Shuichi gulped and felt sick in the stomach. Maybe the bribe wasn't such a good idea, maybe he should think of something else to promise. But he knew deep down that the promise of being 100% willing would be the only thing that could possibly swing Yuki.
Yuki pulled his face towards him and kissed him on the lips. Shuichi was surprised but didn't struggle or show any sign of discomfort. When Yuki broke away, Shuichi sagged back onto the floor and took a deep breath.
The novelist sat back into the couch and ran a hand through his short blonde hair. He said nothing for a few minutes, but then looked back at Shuichi with a blank expression.
"She can stay, but if she's any trouble, she's out," he said and turned his attention back to the TV.
"Yay!" he leapt up to hug but Yuki kicked him back down with his foot.
"Save your energy, you'll need it," he said with a dirty smirk as Shuichi lay sprawled out on the floor. "Well just don't sit there, invite her in idiot."
"Oh right!" he said and scurried off the floor and to the door. He opened it and stepped out into the hall.
Yuki didn't bother to look over as Lily came through the door with Shuichi's hand resting on her shoulder out of concern. She was completely exhausted but she still looked around the dimly lit apartment and noted that whoever decorated it sure had good taste, meaning that it hadn't been Shuichi.
"Lily chan," Shuichi said softly squeezing her shoulder, "I'd like you to meet Yuki."
Lily pulled her eyes away from the abstract painting hanging on the wall and peered into the shadows as she tried to get a better look at the man sitting on the couch, the light from the television lighting up his face. Yuki turned his head and looked back at her.
The pair of them nearly gave Shuichi a heart attack.
**********************************************
9 years ago
"Daddy has to go away to work for a while," Ryuichi said kneeling as he rubbed Lily's hair as she hugged Kumagoro.
The airport was filled with people rushing everywhere, but he was oblivious to them. The only thing he was focusing on was the four year old standing before him. He didn't want to leave her with her grandmother since he was fully aware how horrible she was, but he had to go.
Sleepless Beauty had topped the charts in ten different countries, and Tohma said that they had best continue working in Japan, were they would have the most amount of fans and could make an album.
Lily sniffed as she tried to hold back the tears and Ryuichi took her into his arms. Looking up he saw Christina's mother, dressed in the most expensive clothes on the market looking down on the two of them as if they were the dirt on her shoes.
"You'll remember that if she finds it hard to breathe to give her a puff of Ventolin right?" he asked with an equal amount of dislike in his eyes.
"Don't talk to me like your inferior you good for nothing ruffian. You brought this situation upon yourself by the sinful actions of the two of you," she snarled as she ran her fingers over the string of pearls that hung around her neck.
"I would hardly call bringing a beautiful little girl into the world by two people in love a sin," Ryuichi said with a raised eyebrow, trying hard not to loose his temper in front of Lily. Things were going to be hard enough on her without having to see him wring the withered bat's neck.
"Ryu chan, we have to go now," Noriko said behind him in Japanese. "Don't worry about Lily, she will be all right."
Ryuichi turned his head and nodded. It pained him to let Lily slip from his embrace, she was all he had left, and he had to leave her with a family who had no love her what so ever.
"Goodbye Daddy," she said in her small voice and held Kumagoro up as far as she could. "Take Kumagoro with you, so every time you hug him it will be a hug for me."
Ryuichi was surprised that such a small child could say something so mature, but he didn't have time to brewed over it, the longer he stayed with her the harder it would be to leave. He took the soft rabbit gently in his hands and smiled, not being true to his feelings.
"Goodbye Lily, Daddy will be back for you. Just as soon as Uncle Tohma sorts some work out ok?"
"Bye bye Daddy," she said and he joined his band in boarding the plane. He was nearly out of sight when he heard her call again.
"Bye Daddy! I love you!"
Ryuichi froze in his step, unsure of whether to go forward or back. Tohma placed his hand on his arm and whispered in his ear.
"Don't look back Ryuichi. Everything that you are doing is for her, remember that. If you stay and don't take this chance, you will have nothing to give her."
Ryuichi nodded and continued to walk forward, not looking at anyone as he made his way down the tunnel and into the plane.
Lily ran over to the window and climbed up on the blue chair so she could stand up and see the plane. She wasn't paying any attention to the old woman talking behind her.
"Right mess they've all left me in now. First my foolish daughter gets those stupid notions in her head and picks up with that slacker and then my husband leaves a huge mess by making that damned will. Now I'm stuck here looking after a kid that's probably just going to die anyway!"
Noticing that the toddler wasn't taking the least bit of attention made her fume with anger.
"Are you listening child?" she demanded as Lily pressed herself up against the glass to watch the jet make its way down the runway.
Her grandmother grabbed her tightly by her small arm and pulled her around to face her. Lily felt fear and pain rise in her chest and winced as the manicured nails dug into her soft skin.
"Aren't you listening to me child?" the woman screamed in her face. "He's not coming back for you! You are alone in the world!"
Somewhere above the clouds with a child's toy sitting in his lap, a young man cried.
**********************************************
Now
"Shuichi can I talk to you about your poems?" Lily asked cautiously as she put her glue-stick down.
Her and Shuichi were sitting on floor cushions on opposite sides of the coffee table with scattered papers and stationary covering it. It was a rainy Saturday afternoon so the two had decided to stay in the apartment doing quiet tasks while Yuki was glued to his computer screen.
Shuichi was working fruitlessly on his song for the upcoming performance, while Lily was doing the school assignment she'd put off doing for about a week. Her family tree. The very thought of it made her retch.
"Well when I said that maybe you should try to get some inspiration from poetry, this wasn't what I really meant," she said collecting a few scattered papers.
"Do you think that there's something wrong with them?" Shuichi asked, getting defensive.
"Well," Lily saw his body stiffen and changed what she was about to say. "How about I read them back to you and you tell me what you think ok?"
Shuichi nodded and much to Lily's relief, his regular well-meaning smile reappeared. She cleared her throat and read aloud the first Haiku.
It's raining again
It pisses me off a lot
I can't go outside
"I wrote that one about us!" Shuichi cried with a huge grin. "Don't you just hate this rainy weather? We can't go out and play!"
"Uh-huh," Lily said slowly and shuffled the poem to the back of the papers in her hand and read out the second one.
The thunder is loud
It scares the shit out of me
Quick run away now
Several famous Japanese poets rolled over in their graves.
"You have a fear of thunder?" Lily asked trying not to laugh at the stupidity of it all.
"Yep, I cling to Yuki every time there's a storm," Shuichi wrinkled his brow in thought. "I don't think he likes it when I do it though."
'Can't begin to imagine why,' Lily thought sarcastically and read off the final piece of paper.
The blue Sai river
Full of ducks and water skis
Watch the boats go by
Out of all three, this one was the most stupid.
"I didn't know they let water skiers down the Sai River," Lily said pulling a funny face.
"In my mind they do," Shuichi said with folded arms and a smile.
"Ok then, ahh!" she squealed as a hand reached down in front of her and pulled the papers out of her hand. Twirling around on her cushion she could see Yuki standing above her. Neither of them had heard him come out of his study.
He looked at the poems with an expression of utter disgust as a cigarette burned away in his mouth. He pulled a metal object out of his pants pocket and with a flick of the thumb, heartlessly set the Haikus on fire.
Shuichi screamed like a little girl as the flames engulfed the shocking poetry, but Yuki ignored him completely and walked over to the couch so he could use the ashtray.
"That was rather heartless," Lily said staring at the ashes on the floor as Shuichi howled.
"I don't recall saying I was a nice person," Yuki said in a monotone voice and turned to face her. "By the way, thanks to our unexpected reunion last night, I didn't get time to get the ground rules down." He flopped down on the couch and lit up a new cigarette. Talk about a chain smoker. Lily looked up at him not feeling the least bit intimidated.
"No noise, no visitors, no phone calls, don't touch anything, don't go in my study, or in my bedroom for that matter and curfew is at 10 p.m. Is that clear?"
"Like a window," Lily said with a shrug and then winced. Shuichi was too busy crying in a ball too see, but Yuki didn't miss it. However, he wasn't one to let on.
She got to her feet and made her way to the door. There she slipped on her shoes and pulled a jumper out of her backpack.
"Where are you going?" Shuichi asked with a sniff as he turned the waterworks off.
"Just down the street to get some stuff for dinner," she said with a smile and left the apartment.
"So she cooks," Yuki said thoughtfully and flicked some ash into the tray. "If she cleans too this might not turn out so badly after all."
"Yuki!" Shuichi whined in a high pitched tone and shuffled over to the couch. "Don't take advantage of her!"
"Oh she's not the one I'm going to take advantage of," he reassured him and pulled Shuichi's t-shirt up.
**********************************************
5 years ago
Lily burst through the bushes at top speed, her lungs burning more intensely than lighter fluid. She looked around the paddock for a few fleeting seconds before heading for the oak tree that stood in the middle. The grazing cows didn't acknowledge her at all as she wove through the heard and hoisted herself up into the hundred year old tree. She climbed up quickly and sat on a firm branch while holding onto the trunk for extra balance.
She reached into the pocket of her windcheater slowly while still holding onto the trunk with one arm, afraid that she would fall if she moved too much.
The Ventolin gave little relief, but if she'd kept running she would have been in serious trouble.
A cow lifted its head lazily as a crashing sound came out of the bush. Two boys, both wearing silk shirts and leather pants (so expensive that it made the cows jealous) came out of the undergrowth and started dusting twigs and pollen off of them.
Meet Lily's cousins, Azrael and Balthasar. Fancy names and fancy clothes, but the pair of them didn't have a brain cell between them.
"Oh just look at my hair!" Balthasar squealed examining his hair in a hand held mirror as he ran a comb through it. It wasn't possible to meet a snootier eight year old.
Lily coughed, making her lungs ache even more, and the two boys lifted their heads. They saw her siting on the branch with her legs swinging back and forth and ran towards the tree.
When they reached the bottom of the tree they both looked up for a minute before Azrael punched his brother in the arm.
"Well just don't stand there idiot!" the ten year old snapped. "Climb up there and get her!"
"You want me to climb up there?" Balthasar asked with a laugh, and then stopped when he realized that Azrael was serious. "You know I don't lift or climb. Do you have any idea how many nails that would break?"
"Just get up there!" Azrael yelled and thumped his younger brother over the head.
"Oh, this is going to be so expensive!" he whined and stared to climb up the oak tree in a most awkward way.
"What did I do wrong?" Lily asked as she as Balthasar clung to the trunk, "can't we just be friends?"
"Shut up you little bastard!" Azrael yelled from the ground. "You broke our ball, so now you're going to pay!"
"The dog bit it!" Lily tried to explain looking hurt. "I saw him bite it and I picked it up and.."
"Oh just shut up! You're always causing problems for our family," Azrael snapped, mimicking their grandmother. He bent down and scooped up a large rock from the ground.
Balthasar, who was totally inexperienced in the art of tree climbing fell to the ground with a thud when he was no more than half a meter up the tree.
"You're useless!" Azrael screamed at his brother and threw the rock up into the tree.
It hit Lily in the shoulder, causing her to sway for a few seconds before falling with a scream. The winded howled around the eight year old for a few seconds before she hit the ground. A jagged rock hit her side and there was a crack.
Both boys stood in shock, although Azrael had meant to hit her, he hadn't really expected her to fall.
There was no scream of pain, put they could hear high pitched gasps coming from her small body. And they watched horrified, as blood poured from her mouth.
**********************************************
A scream pierced the air as a car slammed on the brakes and skidded along the road. A woman with long hair looked at it fearfully for half a second before it hit her. She flew over the bonnet and rolled over the roof before crashing onto the road, a stream of blood flying through the air.
A man screamed her name and ran out onto the road. People everywhere were screaming and watching from the pavement as the man scooped the woman into his arms.
The child left standing on the pavement looked on in horror, too young to understand what had happened. Suddenly she understood and her chest seized up as her lungs stopped moving.
The woman had gone limp in the man's arms and he turned to look back at the child. His face was...
Lily sat up at an amazingly fast rate throwing the blanket off of her. The apartment was completely dark and all was quiet except for the noise coming from her. She was wheezing terribly and grabbing at the pile of clothes that lay in a heap beside the couch, found the Ventolin in her jeans pocket and took a few puffs.
She'd had that dream again, not that it was really a dream; it was more of a memory she'd tried to erase but hadn't been able to do. Although it make the scar in her soul deeper every time, it was one of the only things she could remember about her parents.
She repeated the medication dose several times, but although the wheezing had gone, her chest still felt tight and ached like crazy.
Lily had her eyes squeezed shut and her fist clutched a handful of t-shirt material, but the pain still refused to leave. She took a few more puffs, but still nothing.
'Well then I guess that my asthma isn't the problem here' she thought and with much discomfort, got off of the couch and pulled some clothes over her night gear.
She tiptoed to the door but stopped half way. Breaking curfew while Yuki and Shuichi were asleep would be simple enough, getting back in was the problem. She didn't have a key and the door locked automatically when it closed.
The apartment was on the sixth floor, so jumping out the window as out unless she wanted to become sidewalk pancake.
That only left one option. If you don't have your own key, take someone else's.
Lily silently walked into the kitchen, and deciding that it would be too risky to turn the light on, opened the fringe, the automatic light throwing shadows around the room.
She looked under some papers, on the kitchen bench and on top of the fridge. Of course, she found them in the most obvious place, on the key rack.
Yuki had his car keys hanging on one of the hooks, so taking caution not to make even the slightest jingle, she carefully took them off and pulled the apartment key off.
Lily closed the fridge and tiptoed back to the front door where she put her shoes back on and grabbed her backpack. She stood for a few more minutes to listen for any movement, and when she heard none, closed the door quietly.
She took an elevator to the bottom floor and left the building. The cold air was like a smack in the face, and much to her surprise, there was a thin layer of snow on the ground. It had started to snow briefly while she'd been sleeping, but it was mostly slosh since it still wasn't cold enough for snowman quality snow.
Lily walked up a few blocks and sat herself down at the bus stop. According to the timetable she needed to catch bus number 48 to get to where she was going. She lent back against the seat and let out a large sigh.
'I truly am pathetic.'
**********************************************
13 years ago
Christina eyed the line of ants making their way up the wall of her apartment with a great deal of dislike. She'd tried to kill the little buggers by using about a dozen different chemicals and poisons, but still they taunted her.
Her apartment was an utter hole that was infested with every type of insect and rodent imaginable, but she hadn't been able to afford to get a better place. Now that she had cut herself off from her family and was currently out of work, she'd been relying heavily on Ryuichi's tiny bank account.
She let her head flop back on the pillows and decided not to worry about the six-legged nuisances for now. It was too much effort to look up over her enormous stomach and to be perfectly honest, it was too bloody hot.
It was one of the hottest spring nights ever recorded and the apartment didn't have any type of cooling system.
'Perhaps I could throw a whole heap of ice on the bed then lay on it,' Christina thought for a second before slapping her forehead. Now she was getting as ditzy as her boyfriend was.
She heard the front door open and she reached for the baseball bat beside the bed. Any thief should think twice about robbing a heavily pregnant woman with a baseball bat and the medical knowledge to give you internal bleeding with the least amount of swings.
Ryuichi staggered into the bedroom with huge black rings under his eyes. He slipped his shirt off, dumping it on the floor and collapsed on the bed face down, making the springs groan loudly.
"You looked stuffed," Christina stated the obvious and put the bat down. She climbed back on the bed and rubbed the back of Ryuichi's neck as he kicked his shoes off.
"Long day?" she asked with a smile.
"Mmmmmm," was the muffled reply.
"Ah well, just keep thinking of when you're going to be rich and famous," she said soothingly and Ryuichi rolled over.
He smiled at his girlfriend for a minute before moving closer to wrap his arm over her swollen stomach.
"She'll be here soon," he croaked with his dried throat and placed his ear on where the baby slept.
"Why do you keep on saying 'she' Ryuichi?" Christina asked and ran her fingers through his brown, untamed hair. "You don't even know if it's going to be a boy or girl yet."
"It'll be a girl," he said simply as he rubbed Christina's stomach. "You just wait and see."
"You are going to be so cut if it's a boy."
"I so wont be because I so know that it's so going to be a girl," Ryuichi replied with a grin.
"You wouldn't be teasing me know would you Sakuma Ryuichi?" Christina asked with a sneaky smile while pulling gently on a handful of brown hair.
"Me? Tease you babe? Never!" Ryuichi said with a grin, taking delight in his teasing.
He was utterly exhausted from singing all day in that little two by four recording room with moulding carpets, and he really needed to take a shower, but he'd waited all day to be with Christina and the kid that was soon to come.
"Hey Ryuichi," Christina said quietly, still playing with his hair.
"Yea?" he asked without lifting his head.
"Do you remember when you first found out I was pregnant and you passed out?" she asked slowly. Her tone had changed from the regular cheerful to a strange serious.
Ryuichi, noticing the change, sat up and looked Christina in the face.
"Yea just vaguely," he admitted and then displayed a wicked grin. "I remember coning you into believing I needed mouth to mouth and I scored a free kiss."
Christina rapped her knuckles over his skull and her smile returned.
"Yea I remember that too," she said as Ryuichi rubbed his head. "And I also remember that you got up in a real hurry when I suggested that Tohma take over."
Ryuichi shuddered at the memory.
"But anyway," he continued, "why do you ask my love?"
"Did the idea of becoming a dad really terrify you that much?" Christina bit her lip and looked away. "After all, you just turned nineteen two months ago, and we don't have a lot of money, and I'm not the best candidate for motherhood and, and.." She trailed off leaving an awkward silence in the air.
Ryuichi reached up and gently rubbed the side of her pale face with his hand. She turned back to look at him to find a smile spread across his tired face.
"I might not know all there is about bottles and nappies," he admitted, "but all I know is that I love you and her with all my heart, and we'll just figure out the rest as we go."
He then lent over and it was the best kiss that occurred on the scorching night when Christina's water broke.
*********************************************
"Emergency pain killers for Barton Lily please," Lily whispered as she pushed the prescription through the hole in the glass.
The lady behind the counter nodded and turned her back to search the towering shelves for the right pills. Lily took another dose over Ventolin and the lady turned back.
"Do you want another one of those too love?" she asked adjusting her horn- rimmed glasses.
"Could I?" Lily asked looking at the lady like she was an angle of goodness.
"Sure, which one do you need?"
"The strongest you've got please."
The hospital was quiet and the brightness bouncing off of the floor tiles from the overhead lights burned Lily's tired eyes. She was utterly knackered but no doubt the pills would knock her out like a light as soon as she took them.
"Here you go love," she lady said passing Lily a container of pills and a new Ventolin. "I'll just get your file up on screen and you can go."
She typed away on the laptop and spoke again. "When was your last asthma review?"
"Err, I don't really think I need one," Lily lied when she couldn't remember her last review.
"Do you use your puffer more than three times a week?" the lady asked.
"Heck I've used it more than three times this hour," Lily blurted out before she could stop herself.
"Do you spend many nights coughing?"
Lily gave up the lies and started telling the truth. "Yes."
"Do you often feel an shortness of breath?"
"All the time."
"Then it's time for an asthma review," the lady declared and typed some more on the computer. "Dr Sullivan was going to arrange a meeting with you anyway I think. According to this database she just received your records from America the other day."
"That certainly took its time," Lily said with a snort of disgust.
"Honey this is the public health system," the lady said looking up from the computer. "Everything takes its sweet time. Especially the funding."
"True," Lily admitted. She knew what hospital life was like all too well.
"I've got you booked in for Tuesday, is that ok?" the lady asked.
"Yea, Tuesday, right, ok," Lily muttered, too tired to think any more and scooped up her medication. She said her thanks and then left the hospital, being in there too long brought back memories.
She caught the next bus that came past and walked the rest of the way back to the apartment through the sloshy snow.
After a trip in the empty elevator she walked up the hall and as quietly as possible, put the key in the lock and opened the door. She slipped her wet shoes off and took a cautious look around.
The plan was nearly finished; all she had to do was take some pills, put the key back and get some sleep. It was only a few hours before dawn now, but she didn't have to tell Shuichi what she'd been up to, he'd only make a fuss. She was about to go into the kitchen to put the key back when a voice made her jump.
"You're back late. Or should I say early?"
After typing all day to meet his upcoming deadline, he'd decided to kick back after a shower and have a few beers while watching the news. His rare piece of relaxation had been interrupted though when five minutes ago Shuichi had arrived home and completely out of the blue, had begged him to allow Sakuma Whatshisface's brat to stay with them while Tohma was off gallivanting over Europe.
Yuki had always considered Shuichi to be stupid, but this one really took the cake. How the stupid notion of looking after a brat for two weeks had gotten into his pink head he'd never know, and to be perfectly honest, he didn't really care to find out.
"Please, please Yuki!" Shuichi begged from the floor as Yuki looked very disinterested. "It's just for two weeks, and she's really mature for her age! You won't even notice that she's here!"
The wet towel that had been hanging around the novelist's neck smacked Shuichi in the face to stop him from saying anything further.
"Listen you idiot," Yuki said with his arms crossed. "Do you have any idea what teenage girls are like? They're hormone time bombs just waiting to explode. Putting up with one child-namely you-is my maximum limit. And where'd this feeling of obligation suddenly come from huh? Do you feel like you owe that Sakuma guy a favour because what he's done for you in the past?"
"That's not true!" Shuichi snapped pulling the towel off his head. "She's my friend and I don't want her to be on her own while she's ill!"
"Oh, right, you'd feel guilty if she kicked the bucket?"
"No!"
Shuichi sagged in defeat. He'd known that convincing Yuki wouldn't be easy, but he'd thought that he'd be at least reasonable when he said that Lily was sick. It seemed that the icicle just didn't want to thaw out.
Deciding that the debate had been settled, Yuki lit up another cigarette and focused his attention once more on the newsreader. Shuichi would have to think, and fast if he was going to get Lily in.
"Hey."
"Hey what?" Yuki asked blowing out some smoke without looking at him.
"What if, for you to let her stay," Shuichi gulped loudly. "I'll do anything you want in there," he pointed in the direction of the bedroom, "whenever you want."
Yuki let his cigarette rest on the side of the ashtray and with his right hand, grabbed Shuichi by the chin. His yellow eyes bore into the singer's soul, and Shuichi could smell traces of tobacco on his breath. Their eyes locked for a very long time.
"Just think about what you just said," Yuki whispered in a dangerous tone, "and just think about what it means."
Shuichi gulped and felt sick in the stomach. Maybe the bribe wasn't such a good idea, maybe he should think of something else to promise. But he knew deep down that the promise of being 100% willing would be the only thing that could possibly swing Yuki.
Yuki pulled his face towards him and kissed him on the lips. Shuichi was surprised but didn't struggle or show any sign of discomfort. When Yuki broke away, Shuichi sagged back onto the floor and took a deep breath.
The novelist sat back into the couch and ran a hand through his short blonde hair. He said nothing for a few minutes, but then looked back at Shuichi with a blank expression.
"She can stay, but if she's any trouble, she's out," he said and turned his attention back to the TV.
"Yay!" he leapt up to hug but Yuki kicked him back down with his foot.
"Save your energy, you'll need it," he said with a dirty smirk as Shuichi lay sprawled out on the floor. "Well just don't sit there, invite her in idiot."
"Oh right!" he said and scurried off the floor and to the door. He opened it and stepped out into the hall.
Yuki didn't bother to look over as Lily came through the door with Shuichi's hand resting on her shoulder out of concern. She was completely exhausted but she still looked around the dimly lit apartment and noted that whoever decorated it sure had good taste, meaning that it hadn't been Shuichi.
"Lily chan," Shuichi said softly squeezing her shoulder, "I'd like you to meet Yuki."
Lily pulled her eyes away from the abstract painting hanging on the wall and peered into the shadows as she tried to get a better look at the man sitting on the couch, the light from the television lighting up his face. Yuki turned his head and looked back at her.
The pair of them nearly gave Shuichi a heart attack.
**********************************************
9 years ago
"Daddy has to go away to work for a while," Ryuichi said kneeling as he rubbed Lily's hair as she hugged Kumagoro.
The airport was filled with people rushing everywhere, but he was oblivious to them. The only thing he was focusing on was the four year old standing before him. He didn't want to leave her with her grandmother since he was fully aware how horrible she was, but he had to go.
Sleepless Beauty had topped the charts in ten different countries, and Tohma said that they had best continue working in Japan, were they would have the most amount of fans and could make an album.
Lily sniffed as she tried to hold back the tears and Ryuichi took her into his arms. Looking up he saw Christina's mother, dressed in the most expensive clothes on the market looking down on the two of them as if they were the dirt on her shoes.
"You'll remember that if she finds it hard to breathe to give her a puff of Ventolin right?" he asked with an equal amount of dislike in his eyes.
"Don't talk to me like your inferior you good for nothing ruffian. You brought this situation upon yourself by the sinful actions of the two of you," she snarled as she ran her fingers over the string of pearls that hung around her neck.
"I would hardly call bringing a beautiful little girl into the world by two people in love a sin," Ryuichi said with a raised eyebrow, trying hard not to loose his temper in front of Lily. Things were going to be hard enough on her without having to see him wring the withered bat's neck.
"Ryu chan, we have to go now," Noriko said behind him in Japanese. "Don't worry about Lily, she will be all right."
Ryuichi turned his head and nodded. It pained him to let Lily slip from his embrace, she was all he had left, and he had to leave her with a family who had no love her what so ever.
"Goodbye Daddy," she said in her small voice and held Kumagoro up as far as she could. "Take Kumagoro with you, so every time you hug him it will be a hug for me."
Ryuichi was surprised that such a small child could say something so mature, but he didn't have time to brewed over it, the longer he stayed with her the harder it would be to leave. He took the soft rabbit gently in his hands and smiled, not being true to his feelings.
"Goodbye Lily, Daddy will be back for you. Just as soon as Uncle Tohma sorts some work out ok?"
"Bye bye Daddy," she said and he joined his band in boarding the plane. He was nearly out of sight when he heard her call again.
"Bye Daddy! I love you!"
Ryuichi froze in his step, unsure of whether to go forward or back. Tohma placed his hand on his arm and whispered in his ear.
"Don't look back Ryuichi. Everything that you are doing is for her, remember that. If you stay and don't take this chance, you will have nothing to give her."
Ryuichi nodded and continued to walk forward, not looking at anyone as he made his way down the tunnel and into the plane.
Lily ran over to the window and climbed up on the blue chair so she could stand up and see the plane. She wasn't paying any attention to the old woman talking behind her.
"Right mess they've all left me in now. First my foolish daughter gets those stupid notions in her head and picks up with that slacker and then my husband leaves a huge mess by making that damned will. Now I'm stuck here looking after a kid that's probably just going to die anyway!"
Noticing that the toddler wasn't taking the least bit of attention made her fume with anger.
"Are you listening child?" she demanded as Lily pressed herself up against the glass to watch the jet make its way down the runway.
Her grandmother grabbed her tightly by her small arm and pulled her around to face her. Lily felt fear and pain rise in her chest and winced as the manicured nails dug into her soft skin.
"Aren't you listening to me child?" the woman screamed in her face. "He's not coming back for you! You are alone in the world!"
Somewhere above the clouds with a child's toy sitting in his lap, a young man cried.
**********************************************
Now
"Shuichi can I talk to you about your poems?" Lily asked cautiously as she put her glue-stick down.
Her and Shuichi were sitting on floor cushions on opposite sides of the coffee table with scattered papers and stationary covering it. It was a rainy Saturday afternoon so the two had decided to stay in the apartment doing quiet tasks while Yuki was glued to his computer screen.
Shuichi was working fruitlessly on his song for the upcoming performance, while Lily was doing the school assignment she'd put off doing for about a week. Her family tree. The very thought of it made her retch.
"Well when I said that maybe you should try to get some inspiration from poetry, this wasn't what I really meant," she said collecting a few scattered papers.
"Do you think that there's something wrong with them?" Shuichi asked, getting defensive.
"Well," Lily saw his body stiffen and changed what she was about to say. "How about I read them back to you and you tell me what you think ok?"
Shuichi nodded and much to Lily's relief, his regular well-meaning smile reappeared. She cleared her throat and read aloud the first Haiku.
It's raining again
It pisses me off a lot
I can't go outside
"I wrote that one about us!" Shuichi cried with a huge grin. "Don't you just hate this rainy weather? We can't go out and play!"
"Uh-huh," Lily said slowly and shuffled the poem to the back of the papers in her hand and read out the second one.
The thunder is loud
It scares the shit out of me
Quick run away now
Several famous Japanese poets rolled over in their graves.
"You have a fear of thunder?" Lily asked trying not to laugh at the stupidity of it all.
"Yep, I cling to Yuki every time there's a storm," Shuichi wrinkled his brow in thought. "I don't think he likes it when I do it though."
'Can't begin to imagine why,' Lily thought sarcastically and read off the final piece of paper.
The blue Sai river
Full of ducks and water skis
Watch the boats go by
Out of all three, this one was the most stupid.
"I didn't know they let water skiers down the Sai River," Lily said pulling a funny face.
"In my mind they do," Shuichi said with folded arms and a smile.
"Ok then, ahh!" she squealed as a hand reached down in front of her and pulled the papers out of her hand. Twirling around on her cushion she could see Yuki standing above her. Neither of them had heard him come out of his study.
He looked at the poems with an expression of utter disgust as a cigarette burned away in his mouth. He pulled a metal object out of his pants pocket and with a flick of the thumb, heartlessly set the Haikus on fire.
Shuichi screamed like a little girl as the flames engulfed the shocking poetry, but Yuki ignored him completely and walked over to the couch so he could use the ashtray.
"That was rather heartless," Lily said staring at the ashes on the floor as Shuichi howled.
"I don't recall saying I was a nice person," Yuki said in a monotone voice and turned to face her. "By the way, thanks to our unexpected reunion last night, I didn't get time to get the ground rules down." He flopped down on the couch and lit up a new cigarette. Talk about a chain smoker. Lily looked up at him not feeling the least bit intimidated.
"No noise, no visitors, no phone calls, don't touch anything, don't go in my study, or in my bedroom for that matter and curfew is at 10 p.m. Is that clear?"
"Like a window," Lily said with a shrug and then winced. Shuichi was too busy crying in a ball too see, but Yuki didn't miss it. However, he wasn't one to let on.
She got to her feet and made her way to the door. There she slipped on her shoes and pulled a jumper out of her backpack.
"Where are you going?" Shuichi asked with a sniff as he turned the waterworks off.
"Just down the street to get some stuff for dinner," she said with a smile and left the apartment.
"So she cooks," Yuki said thoughtfully and flicked some ash into the tray. "If she cleans too this might not turn out so badly after all."
"Yuki!" Shuichi whined in a high pitched tone and shuffled over to the couch. "Don't take advantage of her!"
"Oh she's not the one I'm going to take advantage of," he reassured him and pulled Shuichi's t-shirt up.
**********************************************
5 years ago
Lily burst through the bushes at top speed, her lungs burning more intensely than lighter fluid. She looked around the paddock for a few fleeting seconds before heading for the oak tree that stood in the middle. The grazing cows didn't acknowledge her at all as she wove through the heard and hoisted herself up into the hundred year old tree. She climbed up quickly and sat on a firm branch while holding onto the trunk for extra balance.
She reached into the pocket of her windcheater slowly while still holding onto the trunk with one arm, afraid that she would fall if she moved too much.
The Ventolin gave little relief, but if she'd kept running she would have been in serious trouble.
A cow lifted its head lazily as a crashing sound came out of the bush. Two boys, both wearing silk shirts and leather pants (so expensive that it made the cows jealous) came out of the undergrowth and started dusting twigs and pollen off of them.
Meet Lily's cousins, Azrael and Balthasar. Fancy names and fancy clothes, but the pair of them didn't have a brain cell between them.
"Oh just look at my hair!" Balthasar squealed examining his hair in a hand held mirror as he ran a comb through it. It wasn't possible to meet a snootier eight year old.
Lily coughed, making her lungs ache even more, and the two boys lifted their heads. They saw her siting on the branch with her legs swinging back and forth and ran towards the tree.
When they reached the bottom of the tree they both looked up for a minute before Azrael punched his brother in the arm.
"Well just don't stand there idiot!" the ten year old snapped. "Climb up there and get her!"
"You want me to climb up there?" Balthasar asked with a laugh, and then stopped when he realized that Azrael was serious. "You know I don't lift or climb. Do you have any idea how many nails that would break?"
"Just get up there!" Azrael yelled and thumped his younger brother over the head.
"Oh, this is going to be so expensive!" he whined and stared to climb up the oak tree in a most awkward way.
"What did I do wrong?" Lily asked as she as Balthasar clung to the trunk, "can't we just be friends?"
"Shut up you little bastard!" Azrael yelled from the ground. "You broke our ball, so now you're going to pay!"
"The dog bit it!" Lily tried to explain looking hurt. "I saw him bite it and I picked it up and.."
"Oh just shut up! You're always causing problems for our family," Azrael snapped, mimicking their grandmother. He bent down and scooped up a large rock from the ground.
Balthasar, who was totally inexperienced in the art of tree climbing fell to the ground with a thud when he was no more than half a meter up the tree.
"You're useless!" Azrael screamed at his brother and threw the rock up into the tree.
It hit Lily in the shoulder, causing her to sway for a few seconds before falling with a scream. The winded howled around the eight year old for a few seconds before she hit the ground. A jagged rock hit her side and there was a crack.
Both boys stood in shock, although Azrael had meant to hit her, he hadn't really expected her to fall.
There was no scream of pain, put they could hear high pitched gasps coming from her small body. And they watched horrified, as blood poured from her mouth.
**********************************************
A scream pierced the air as a car slammed on the brakes and skidded along the road. A woman with long hair looked at it fearfully for half a second before it hit her. She flew over the bonnet and rolled over the roof before crashing onto the road, a stream of blood flying through the air.
A man screamed her name and ran out onto the road. People everywhere were screaming and watching from the pavement as the man scooped the woman into his arms.
The child left standing on the pavement looked on in horror, too young to understand what had happened. Suddenly she understood and her chest seized up as her lungs stopped moving.
The woman had gone limp in the man's arms and he turned to look back at the child. His face was...
Lily sat up at an amazingly fast rate throwing the blanket off of her. The apartment was completely dark and all was quiet except for the noise coming from her. She was wheezing terribly and grabbing at the pile of clothes that lay in a heap beside the couch, found the Ventolin in her jeans pocket and took a few puffs.
She'd had that dream again, not that it was really a dream; it was more of a memory she'd tried to erase but hadn't been able to do. Although it make the scar in her soul deeper every time, it was one of the only things she could remember about her parents.
She repeated the medication dose several times, but although the wheezing had gone, her chest still felt tight and ached like crazy.
Lily had her eyes squeezed shut and her fist clutched a handful of t-shirt material, but the pain still refused to leave. She took a few more puffs, but still nothing.
'Well then I guess that my asthma isn't the problem here' she thought and with much discomfort, got off of the couch and pulled some clothes over her night gear.
She tiptoed to the door but stopped half way. Breaking curfew while Yuki and Shuichi were asleep would be simple enough, getting back in was the problem. She didn't have a key and the door locked automatically when it closed.
The apartment was on the sixth floor, so jumping out the window as out unless she wanted to become sidewalk pancake.
That only left one option. If you don't have your own key, take someone else's.
Lily silently walked into the kitchen, and deciding that it would be too risky to turn the light on, opened the fringe, the automatic light throwing shadows around the room.
She looked under some papers, on the kitchen bench and on top of the fridge. Of course, she found them in the most obvious place, on the key rack.
Yuki had his car keys hanging on one of the hooks, so taking caution not to make even the slightest jingle, she carefully took them off and pulled the apartment key off.
Lily closed the fridge and tiptoed back to the front door where she put her shoes back on and grabbed her backpack. She stood for a few more minutes to listen for any movement, and when she heard none, closed the door quietly.
She took an elevator to the bottom floor and left the building. The cold air was like a smack in the face, and much to her surprise, there was a thin layer of snow on the ground. It had started to snow briefly while she'd been sleeping, but it was mostly slosh since it still wasn't cold enough for snowman quality snow.
Lily walked up a few blocks and sat herself down at the bus stop. According to the timetable she needed to catch bus number 48 to get to where she was going. She lent back against the seat and let out a large sigh.
'I truly am pathetic.'
**********************************************
13 years ago
Christina eyed the line of ants making their way up the wall of her apartment with a great deal of dislike. She'd tried to kill the little buggers by using about a dozen different chemicals and poisons, but still they taunted her.
Her apartment was an utter hole that was infested with every type of insect and rodent imaginable, but she hadn't been able to afford to get a better place. Now that she had cut herself off from her family and was currently out of work, she'd been relying heavily on Ryuichi's tiny bank account.
She let her head flop back on the pillows and decided not to worry about the six-legged nuisances for now. It was too much effort to look up over her enormous stomach and to be perfectly honest, it was too bloody hot.
It was one of the hottest spring nights ever recorded and the apartment didn't have any type of cooling system.
'Perhaps I could throw a whole heap of ice on the bed then lay on it,' Christina thought for a second before slapping her forehead. Now she was getting as ditzy as her boyfriend was.
She heard the front door open and she reached for the baseball bat beside the bed. Any thief should think twice about robbing a heavily pregnant woman with a baseball bat and the medical knowledge to give you internal bleeding with the least amount of swings.
Ryuichi staggered into the bedroom with huge black rings under his eyes. He slipped his shirt off, dumping it on the floor and collapsed on the bed face down, making the springs groan loudly.
"You looked stuffed," Christina stated the obvious and put the bat down. She climbed back on the bed and rubbed the back of Ryuichi's neck as he kicked his shoes off.
"Long day?" she asked with a smile.
"Mmmmmm," was the muffled reply.
"Ah well, just keep thinking of when you're going to be rich and famous," she said soothingly and Ryuichi rolled over.
He smiled at his girlfriend for a minute before moving closer to wrap his arm over her swollen stomach.
"She'll be here soon," he croaked with his dried throat and placed his ear on where the baby slept.
"Why do you keep on saying 'she' Ryuichi?" Christina asked and ran her fingers through his brown, untamed hair. "You don't even know if it's going to be a boy or girl yet."
"It'll be a girl," he said simply as he rubbed Christina's stomach. "You just wait and see."
"You are going to be so cut if it's a boy."
"I so wont be because I so know that it's so going to be a girl," Ryuichi replied with a grin.
"You wouldn't be teasing me know would you Sakuma Ryuichi?" Christina asked with a sneaky smile while pulling gently on a handful of brown hair.
"Me? Tease you babe? Never!" Ryuichi said with a grin, taking delight in his teasing.
He was utterly exhausted from singing all day in that little two by four recording room with moulding carpets, and he really needed to take a shower, but he'd waited all day to be with Christina and the kid that was soon to come.
"Hey Ryuichi," Christina said quietly, still playing with his hair.
"Yea?" he asked without lifting his head.
"Do you remember when you first found out I was pregnant and you passed out?" she asked slowly. Her tone had changed from the regular cheerful to a strange serious.
Ryuichi, noticing the change, sat up and looked Christina in the face.
"Yea just vaguely," he admitted and then displayed a wicked grin. "I remember coning you into believing I needed mouth to mouth and I scored a free kiss."
Christina rapped her knuckles over his skull and her smile returned.
"Yea I remember that too," she said as Ryuichi rubbed his head. "And I also remember that you got up in a real hurry when I suggested that Tohma take over."
Ryuichi shuddered at the memory.
"But anyway," he continued, "why do you ask my love?"
"Did the idea of becoming a dad really terrify you that much?" Christina bit her lip and looked away. "After all, you just turned nineteen two months ago, and we don't have a lot of money, and I'm not the best candidate for motherhood and, and.." She trailed off leaving an awkward silence in the air.
Ryuichi reached up and gently rubbed the side of her pale face with his hand. She turned back to look at him to find a smile spread across his tired face.
"I might not know all there is about bottles and nappies," he admitted, "but all I know is that I love you and her with all my heart, and we'll just figure out the rest as we go."
He then lent over and it was the best kiss that occurred on the scorching night when Christina's water broke.
*********************************************
"Emergency pain killers for Barton Lily please," Lily whispered as she pushed the prescription through the hole in the glass.
The lady behind the counter nodded and turned her back to search the towering shelves for the right pills. Lily took another dose over Ventolin and the lady turned back.
"Do you want another one of those too love?" she asked adjusting her horn- rimmed glasses.
"Could I?" Lily asked looking at the lady like she was an angle of goodness.
"Sure, which one do you need?"
"The strongest you've got please."
The hospital was quiet and the brightness bouncing off of the floor tiles from the overhead lights burned Lily's tired eyes. She was utterly knackered but no doubt the pills would knock her out like a light as soon as she took them.
"Here you go love," she lady said passing Lily a container of pills and a new Ventolin. "I'll just get your file up on screen and you can go."
She typed away on the laptop and spoke again. "When was your last asthma review?"
"Err, I don't really think I need one," Lily lied when she couldn't remember her last review.
"Do you use your puffer more than three times a week?" the lady asked.
"Heck I've used it more than three times this hour," Lily blurted out before she could stop herself.
"Do you spend many nights coughing?"
Lily gave up the lies and started telling the truth. "Yes."
"Do you often feel an shortness of breath?"
"All the time."
"Then it's time for an asthma review," the lady declared and typed some more on the computer. "Dr Sullivan was going to arrange a meeting with you anyway I think. According to this database she just received your records from America the other day."
"That certainly took its time," Lily said with a snort of disgust.
"Honey this is the public health system," the lady said looking up from the computer. "Everything takes its sweet time. Especially the funding."
"True," Lily admitted. She knew what hospital life was like all too well.
"I've got you booked in for Tuesday, is that ok?" the lady asked.
"Yea, Tuesday, right, ok," Lily muttered, too tired to think any more and scooped up her medication. She said her thanks and then left the hospital, being in there too long brought back memories.
She caught the next bus that came past and walked the rest of the way back to the apartment through the sloshy snow.
After a trip in the empty elevator she walked up the hall and as quietly as possible, put the key in the lock and opened the door. She slipped her wet shoes off and took a cautious look around.
The plan was nearly finished; all she had to do was take some pills, put the key back and get some sleep. It was only a few hours before dawn now, but she didn't have to tell Shuichi what she'd been up to, he'd only make a fuss. She was about to go into the kitchen to put the key back when a voice made her jump.
"You're back late. Or should I say early?"