I'm back after a long and restful vacation. I know I haven't updated in ages and I'm really sorry about that. I'm hoping that everyone was willing to bear with my laziness and will continue to support the fic. The end is finally approaching. There's just one more chapter after this and then I'm going to put the whole story through the re-haul. To all my readers, with or without reviews, thanks so much for the support. It gives me this really warm feeling, knowing that someone out there is waiting for the next chapter of something that I've written. Here's the explanation you've been waiting for.
Vi3t BabiI – I'm so glad that you're enjoying the story this much and that you think it's deep. (She said deep…. Did you see? My story's deep! : Prances around the computer in glee: )
virginangelic – I'm afraid justice isn't quite served. You see, despite everything, I'm a sucker for a happy ending. And even though the Miaka – Tamahome pairing isn't my favorite, I'm determined to see them happy at the end. So the whole point of the story was to show Miaka's growth as a person (to an extent) and to explain out something that has been messing with my mind for ages – Why did Miaka get the happy ending immediately when Suzano had to wait for it?
Momiji-chan Wa Baka – You've really stayed with this fic from beginning to end. This chapter is dedicated to you. I confess that I tend to hunt for your reviews, and they always leave me feeling good. (Ego well puffed up and raring to write more). Hang on to your hat, there's only one more chapter to go.
roku-kyu – Just writing that name out here is an honor. Your stories are phenomenal! The depth, the concepts, the melding of two totally separate works of fiction… it's mind-boggling how well you've achieved it all. I'm so glad that you've enjoyed the story. (Can now die happy).
Minako-hime – I love that you think I have a great grasp on my style. (Covers Minako-hime's ears while irritating elder sister collapses in laughter) No seriously, I have a lot to learn. But I definitely think that if you read this story from the first chapter to the last, that you can actually see the improvement I've made. The grasp of English I owe to my father - He's a journalist, so the dictionary is practically an object of worship in my house. I'm really glad that you've enjoyed reading so far and I will try to keep up the good work.
Chapter 15.
"Suzaku" Miaka breathed.
The phoenix god stood before her in his human form – eyes glittering deeply red and focused upon her pale face. Stunned for a moment, she stared at him. Her memories had somehow downplayed the brilliance of his features, the regality of his bearing, the latent power that was so easily visible even in his still form. Trembling slightly, she lowered her gaze to her feet and hastily dropped into a deep bow, head touching the formless base on which she stood in the void.
When there was no immediate acknowledgement from the god standing before her, she began to panic. It had been easy enough to plan out the whole scenario in her head when she hadn't really been thinking of anything but joining Taka, but now all the discrepancies in her planning seemed to become clearly evident – she had nothing to offer the god at all. She had not performed the ceremony, she was no longer pure in body, nor had she any reason other than her own gain to ask for this favor. Suddenly, the chances of her plan succeeding began to look quite bleak.
Lost in her own thoughts, she barely heard when the phoenix god began to speak.
"Rise Maiden of Suzaku and tell me why I have been summoned."
Miaka hastily scrambled back to her feet, unconsciously betraying her tension by surreptitiously wiping her palms on the back of her skirt. Gathering her thoughts, she looked up into the kindly eyes of the seikun and began her explanation.
"Forgive me, Suzaku, for calling you out like this… I know that you have done so much for me already. Actually, that's why I needed to call on you…"
Pausing to gather her thoughts, Miaka took a deep and fortifying breath. Suzaku remained silent, choosing perhaps to let her complete her explanation before making any decision. Miaka tried to focus, crushing the old skirt of her uniform between her fingers as she did so. The rancid smell it released made her hastily let go of the material and she flushed in shame. In her last call to Suzaku, it had been understandable that she had been poorly dressed – her battle with Nakago had not allowed her the normal preparations of cleansing and new clothes. This time, she had the opportunity, but had not considered the thought of wearing something more suitable to the calling out of a god. And yet… without wearing the clothes, she could not have called upon Suzaku… It was a fact, and yet, it made her feel ashamed to have to appear before the seikun thus. Seeking to explain her state, she immediately rushed into speech –
"I'm so sorry about the uniform. It's the same one that I had used in the summoning the last time. I needed a link, you see, something that would connect both worlds… and this was all that I could find… I really don't mean any disrespect…"
Trailing off, she looked up at Suzaku again. The god had a slight smile on his features. When he spoke, the words reverberated through her body, filling her with a sense of warmth and security.
"There is no real need for the cleansing ceremony, nor is there need for new garments or sacrifices. A pure soul is the true requirement of any maiden to call upon me. The rest are merely trappings that can be discarded in times of need. Understand, my miko, that respect may be shown by that preparation and yet, the preparation can be discarded for a greater cause. However, I wish to know the reason for this summoning. Your three wishes were granted previously and more are not granted to any miko. Not only that, but I do not sense any of the Suzaku seishi with you, nor is the country in great need. Explain this."
Miaka flushed slightly at the gentle rebuke. Her thoughts churned helplessly as the futility of her plan became evident once more on hearing Suzaku's words. She had already used all three wishes… Despairing, she bowed her head again before a sudden memory flashed through her mind. A memory of soft yet strong hands cradling her face and the scent of lavender -
You're a lot stronger than you think, Miaka. Promise me that you'll never give up.
"Nuriko, it does seem like you're still rescuing me…" she whispered to herself. Pushing aside her doubts, she started her explanation –
"Suzaku, I must thank you for sending Tamahome to my world to be with me. " The acknowledging nod that she received from the seikun gave her the courage to continue. " But recently things happened… Tamahome didn't have any of the memories of Konan, or our search for the shinzaho, or fighting Nakago… none of them! All he remembered was our promise to be together. Why… why wouldn't he remember the others?"
Suzaku seemed to look at her deeply before answering. "Maiden of Suzaku, what was Tamahome's purpose in crossing the barrier between the worlds?" Miaka opened her mouth to answer, but Suzaku held up a hand to stop her before answering his own question. "It was to find you, to find his soul mate. Despite the fact that the other seishi were his brothers and bonded to him deeply, he did not share with them the bond that drew him to you. When he chose to give up his previous life and follow you to your own world, he ceased to be Tamahome, Suzaku seishi. He had to truly become an inhabitant of the new world in order for him to fit in. Thus his life had different experiences – in this world, he has not met any of the seishi, nor has he gone through the tests that he had to in the other world. And so, his bonds to them are not strong enough to hold against the barrier and he does not remember them. That does not mean that they do not remember him… However, he did remember you because the bond between the two of you was strong enough to draw him to you."
Miaka considered this carefully. It did seem understandable. But the last few words in Suzaku's explanation made her wonder -
" What do you mean 'that does not mean they do not remember him'? Does that mean that everyone is okay? Are Chichiri and Tasuki still alive? I thought with the time difference between the book and my world… that they might have passed away by now."
Suzaku answered guardedly. "It is true, that all the seishi had returned to their spirit forms."
Miaka immediately pounced upon this. "Had returned. Then does that mean that they have been reincarnated as well? Are… are they… are they in the new world… with me?"
Miaka gazed desperately into Suzaku's eyes, no longer avoiding his gaze. Yet, no matter how much she tried to discern the god's thoughts, she was unable to gain even a clue. Her expression turned pleading.
"Are they? Hotohori… Nuriko… Tasuki… Chichiri… Mitsukake… Chiriko… is it true? Will I see them again? Will they be drawn to me too? Like Tama-"
The seikun held up his hand once more to stop the flood of questions erupting from Miaka's mouth. Her joy was almost palpable, but it fizzled somewhat at his answer.
"The seishi have been reincarnated. But the determination of which world is not up to me. Their souls will feel a calling from those who are dear to them, and that will help them to choose. They will make their own choices this time, as a reward for past deeds. If there is need for them, they will be called."
Miaka nodded her head while processing this new information. Then this meant that there was a chance- a chance for her to see everyone once more, and this time there would be no danger, no rush to succeed no matter what – she could see them all again. And she wouldn't have to fight anyone this time. She was so caught up in her thoughts that it was a moment before Suzaku's last words penetrated her mind.
If there is need for them, they will be called.
Did that mean then that Taka had been called? Was that why he had been so drawn to the book lately? She had to know… she just had to! If he had been called once more, then she would go as well to help him. He had promised never to leave her behind, and she had no intention of letting him break that promise.
"Suzaku" she queried "has Tak… I mean, Tamahome been called back into the book? Because recently Taka was so drawn towards the book. All his memories began to return… and the book was glowing… and now it's stopped. Has he been called back to the other world? Because if so, I'm begging you to let me go with him. It wouldn't be fair to give us the chance to be together and then rip it away from us. It would be too cruel!"
Suzaku gazed at her dispassionately. Desperately, she thought to make him consider.
"Please! Answer me! Why take him away? Were we only allowed a certain amount of time together? Why? Why! It's not fair! At least let me go with him!"
Miaka broke down sobbing while Suzaku remained silent. Her muffled "whys" were the only sounds as her knees buckled beneath her. When she finally looked up at him, her eyes were swimming with tears but her voice was soft as she gave voice to the question that had plagued her ever since she had met Taka.
"Why us?" Suzaku looked confused for a moment before Miaka elaborated, her gaze turned downward once more. "Why did we get to be together? Why did we get to be happy when Tatra and Suzano didn't? Why?"
Suzaku 's gaze softened and his voice once again took on its warm quality.
"My miko, you must understand the circles that are present in life. When Suzano made her wish, she asked that she and her loved one exist together. But their work was not done as yet. And unfortunately, their work existed in separate worlds. Tatra was needed to remain here – to guard the shinzaho and to pass it to you when the time arrived. Whereas Suzano was needed to tell her story in the other world, so that assistance could be obtained in a time of emergency. As gods, my brothers and I do not have the power to change these circles. However, the souls of the Byakko no miko and her lover were united when their roles were played out. It was a tragedy that they could not be together," Suzaku's eyes shimmered for a moment "but their fate was already written."
"Miaka, you were the last miko required to cross the barrier through The Book of the Four Gods. With the cycle of summoning completed, there was no reason why you could not be joined with your loved one as well. Accept the gift and cherish it all the more for its preciousness. As to your request to join Tamahome, it was already granted earlier and given as a gift. Such things do not occur twice. Return to your world and wait for the time when you will be together. That is all."
And with those last words, Suzaku seemed to fade back into the void. Miaka scrambled to her feet and tried to race forward.
"Wait! Suzaku! Please! Give him back to me! Please!"
But her hands encountered only air before the bright colors of her room swam into focus once more. A dull shimmer of scarlet remained at the edge of her vision as the last cry of the phoenix echoed in her ears. Closing her eyes to the sight of her room, Miaka doubled over and gave into tears.
"Taka…"
Author's note: - That's my explanation, take it or leave it. The final chapter will be out soon, probably within a week or two. If the explanation made little sense or if anyone has a better suggestion, then I'd love to hear it. Any comments, suggestions or constructive criticism are welcome. I'd appreciate no flames.
As always I remain.
(Completely) diabolique.