"I really think that Artemis had a point," Joan shivered and pulled her
jacket around her tighter. "This isn't exactly concert weather."
"Call yourself a Bad Luck fan?" Lily said in mock disgust as they walked over the harbour bridge together.
"Why did you turn down Shuichi offer for a lift in Heaven's name?" Joan's boots sloshed though what was left of yesterday's snow. "We'll end up being Bad Luck's most dedicated popstickles before we even get there."
Lily sighed and gave the same answer to the same question her friend had asked fifty times in the past half-hour.
"Because," she said slightly irritated. "If we are seen arriving with the internationally successful band Bad Luck we will have our faces plastered all over the tabloids tomorrow morning. Remember what happened after I filled in for Fujisaki san?"
"Oh," Joan nodded her head vigorously. "I see you've really thought things through."
Her face then took on a catty expression and her eyes gave a flicker that meant that she was looking for trouble.
"So does Yuki san know where you're going today?"
"What's he got to do with anything?" Lily asked giving her a warning look sideways.
"Well, nothing I guess. It's just that after the way he showed up at school the other day and with all those hours he spent with you at the hospital I would have thought that you being in a crowd of over 10,000 might have made him a touch concerned about his precious asset."
"You," Lily held up her index finger in a dangerous fashion, "are walking on very thin ice with a really big shark underneath."
Joan sniggered to herself and her pace picked up when she spotted the stage coming into view through the dark clouds that covered the horizon.
"We're nearly there!" she said and momentarily forgot about how she couldn't feel her toes any more. "Hurry up before all the plebs nab all the front spots."
"Hold your horses," Lily said and reached into her jacket. "I just need to do something."
They were nearly at the end off the bridge now with cars whizzing past them filled with youths eager to see some rock stars and get boozed up. Below them the water of Tokyo Bay ravaged and raged mercilessly.
Lily pulled out a large velvet box and held it out over the rail. The wind pulled at her air and stung her face a bit as she leaned over the railing ever so slightly. Then with a smile she released the box.
Joan hurried over to see the velvet box fall down, down, down until it hit the water below. It was visible on the surface for half a second before the waves devoured it, swallowing it into the deep.
"Was that jewellery?" Joan asked totally flabbergasted.
"Yep," Lily said casually and put her hands back in her jacket pockets. "I decided that it meant nothing to me."
Joan took one more fleeting look over the edge before catching up to Lily's retreating figure.
"So you just threw it away?"
"Yep," she simply said with a nod. Joan didn't know what to say but she got the feeling that she was missing a few finer details, just like the rest of the time.
"Well you could have just used the trash bash."
"Now everyone please do your best out there today. This is very important so you can give the tour a good start and to rope new fans in. Shindo kun are you sure you're confident with all the new lyrics? Fujisaki kun you don't need Nickson san to hack into a database for music do you? Please don't do anything strange this time Shindo kun and don't..."
"Sakano san!" the three musicians yelled together. Their producer's nerves were a mess as they walked from their trailer on the sand to the stage.
"Don't worry about the song Sakano san," Shuichi said with a bright smile. "Even though the lyrics aren't quite up to my literary genius I'm sure it will go fine."
"What literary genius?" Fujisaki hissed to the guitarist.
Hiro held up his hand to silence him and let out a small sigh.
"Let's just be thankful that Lily chan gave him the song this time round. I don't think I could manage another slump like at last year's festival," he whispered behind his hand.
With a final warning from their ever so persuasive manager they left him and a shaking Sakano san backstage as they greeted a mass of adoring fans.
The screams were deafening and the goosebumps on Shuichi's exposed stomach disappeared thanks to the large collection of stage lights focused on him.
"Hi everyone!" Shuichi called out to the people in the far back though the microphone. "Are you all having fun?"
He took the roar from the crowd as a yes.
"Today, before Bad Luck starts their tour," he waited for the screaming to die down before he continued talking. "We will sing to you our new song! Take it away Fujisaki!"
The intro had hardly started when the singer turned around to his band mates screaming at them to stop, waving his microphone up and down in the air.
"Wait a sec wait a sec!" he turned back to the crowd panic stricken. "Where's Lily chan? I want her to be here if I'm going to sing! This is her mother's song here!"
Backstage someone tensed up and his companions looked at one another with worried expressions. However he wasn't the only one Shuichi was effecting.
"SHINDO KUN!" Sakano screamed pulling at his hair with tears bursting from his eyes. K took careful aim with his gun and the crowd was at a standstill. Hiro and Fujisaki just sighed in unison and slumped over their instruments.
It didn't matter how many times Shuichi performed, something like this would always happen. Always.
Thunk.
A white runner hit the stage and bounced across the platform before stopping near Shuichi. He blinked a few times before picking the shoe up and walked to the edge of the stage holding it.
After a few seconds of scanning the crowd he could see almost right below him Lily and Joan waving to him, their backstage passes hanging around their necks and red in the face from laughing.
"Oh there you are! Ok I guess I can sing now."
The crowd agreed with that notion and Shuichi rubbed the back of his head with an embarrassed laugh. He threw the shoe down to his friend and gave Fujisaki a nod.
For the second time a simple yet catchy tune came from the keyboards and Hiro made his presence clear. As the intro played Shuichi kept his eyes closed and thought. Thought about the song and the one he loved the most to give it the extra shine it needed.
"Just one thing doesn't change That dream I painted How did I appear as I am now In my young eyes back then Hey, look up at it, it's such a vast night sky So that soon, so that you understand You will shine at your best soon so hurry Look for the FULL MOON
Let's sing a song! Together forever Everything I can do for you right now Day by day Your destiny until now From tomorrow, clutch your hopes to your chest Let's sing a song! Together forever If I'm with you I can overcome any hardship More and more More and more and more I want to be closer Please stay right here Many thanks for you!
Wonderous chance meetings As long as they keep happening We have ever more precious things All those days full of chance mischief Now I can laugh and love them That's right, I always yearned for the wide stage Now I'm no longer alone Everyone is full of smiles Because this is where I am
Let's sing a song Tonight, rather than the spotlight, it's me that will shine now Day by day Those passionate looks and cheers shine upon my streaming sweat Let's sing a song Tonight I want to believe there are never ending burning thoughts More and more More and more and more I want to scream this song, this dream will never end
Let's sing a song! Repeat and repeat Let's sing a song! Repeat and repeat
This is the song for you"
The song finished and the lights on stage went out, preventing the audience from seeing anything on stage. However the microphones were still on so they all heard Shuichi trip over a cord and start to cry.
"That was pretty good!" Joan yelled over the crowd's cheers. "It was a bit different to his regular style but he pulled it off quite nicely considering that he hadn't written it himself. Don't you think so Lily?"
Lily hadn't heard her at all. She was still smiling up at the stage, not sure wether to run backstage to hug Shuichi or to just cry out of happiness right there and then.
'Mum must have really loved someone to write a song like that. Thankyou for letting her shine one last time Shuichi.'
"Hey snap out of it!" she felt something thump her in the arm and she jumped in surprise.
"What?" she asked completely bewildered. It was like being woken up from an intense dream when you're really tired.
"He sang that really well didn't he?" Joan now demanded an answer after being ignored.
"Yea, I don't even think Yuki san could criticise that. Oh wait........yes he could."
"Ah Shindo kun that was beautiful," a very frail and very relieved Sakano sang as he floated around the group.
Hiro had Shuichi in a headlock while they laughed. If you ignored the little slip up at the end and the panic attack at the start, it was their only performance where Shuichi hadn't given the press a new bone to gnaw on.
"That was very well done."
"Boss!"
Hiro let go and they saw the three members of Nittle Grasper standing in front of them. Ryuichi held no visible expression and Shuichi felt for the first time a sense of worry regarding the song.
Was Ryuichi angry that he'd sung one of his lover's songs? A love song that was probably about him or his daughter. Lily had given it to him for the festival but did that really mean that it had been ok to use? Had he been allowed to express someone else's feeling of love?
"That was cool Shuichi!" he grinned giving the thumbs up.
Shuichi nearly melted with relief and tried to pretend he didn't notice the fading bruise on Ryuichi's right cheek.
"Nah, nah, it was these guys, I just sang while Hiro and Fujisaki played. It was their achievement actually. And it was Christina who saved the day really, with her talent with lyrics," Shuichi tried to throw the praise off but Ryuichi continued to smile.
"Nope, nope na no da. Christina wrote it but the rest was all you, she'd be happy with you!"
The actor who was hosting the concert called out the next performance and there was a cry from the audience.
"Time to go Ryuichi!" Norio commanded and gave the vocalist a push in the back.
He let out a deep sigh and put a baseball cap and a pair of sunglasses on.
"Lily chan is out there right?" his voice was now deep and serious, his happy mood forgotten under the pressure that had now been placed on him.
"Yes," the younger singer said and saddened. Would Ryuichi ever tell her the truth?
"Christina would be happy with you Shuichi," he said as he followed his two band mates up the stage stairs. "But I wonder if she'd be happy with me."
"Everyone please welcome Japan's most loved band, Nittle Grasper!" the host called out like a ringmaster and slinked off stage. The lights went out once more to leave the audience in suspense.
"Hey are these the guys who sang that Sleepless Beauty song?" Lily yelled over the noise of the people around her.
"Hella yea! I can't believe you don't know them, you, who has the nerve to call me clueless," Joan didn't turn to her but kept her eyes on the stage in anticipation.
"Well it's strange because I'm sure I know the name and music but I can't...."
The lights came on stage and the roar of the crowd trampled Lily's voice. She looked up and nearly had a heart attack.
There was Tohma on the keyboards and opposite him on the other keyboard was the woman Lily had seen in the market yesterday. In between them stood a man in denim and a black and white T-shirt, his face concealed by a pair of sunglasses and a hat.
'I knew Tohma still played but I didn't expect anything like this,' she thought with wonder. 'And there's that crazy lady that knows my Dad's name! What in God's name is going on?'
The singer gave no introduction or gave a greeting to the crowd. In all honesty he looked like he would rather be sitting in a dentist's chair then on stage. Much to the surprise of the keyboard players he turned and requested something.
"Sleepless Beauty please," he held his hand over the microphone, confusing the audience with his hold up.
"But Ryu chan," Noriko stared in disbelief, "we have a whole new song lined up for this performance. Why do want to sing Sleepless Beauty all of a sudden?"
"Please Noriko, Tohma."
His voice was serious and Tohma thought he heard a note of fear escape his throat. The green eyes that were usually filled with hidden danger filled with sympathy for his friend and knew that it was time.
He nodded to Noriko and she turned back to her keyboard. She would have to do this, whether it was the right time or not.
Neither of them could bring back Christina-no one could, but they could try to reforge a bond that had been broken long ago. The only problem was, it could go two ways.
A well revised and forever popular tune came from their keyboards and Ryuichi counted himself in. It was time to tell.
"Oh this is such a jib!" Joan cried and stomped the sand angrily like a small child. "I was expecting something new! I want a refund dammit!"
"You didn't pay for this in the first place," Lily muttered more to herself than to Joan.
From far away, let your eyes shine; those who have awakened are still waiting. Seduce the ramparts of the night in the cast-off pile of skins left by things that now live elsewhere.
'I'm sorry Christina, I left her alone because I was scared. Scared that the only person I love wouldn't love me in return, or that I'd loose her like I'd lost you.'
(without an exit) if you intend to survive the impact (to the point where you fall apart) enrapture the deceits
"Lily what's wrong?" Joan caught sight of her friend watching the performance with her face paler than cream.
You who have been reborn, colour your eyes without smiling alone. Even if the world you've longed for has suddenly burned to ash, in some miracle we could still brush into each other.
"K what is he going to do?" Shuichi asked the performer's ex-manager as he watched Ryuichi on stage. His singing and style was extraordinary as usual, but Shuichi had a bad feeling.
"I don't know."
(Hold me gently in order to break me)
'I hate this feeling, I want to remember it but I just can't. It's like part of my life never happened. I want to know but I don't know if I can handle it,' Lily couldn't look away, this song and this man were somehow a clue to her own identity.
Be exposed in a state of purity like a flower whose petals have fallen. You're just beginning to notice the days are shining jewels cupped in your hand.
Ryuichi reflected on the day Yuki had hit him at the NG building, remembering the throbbing pain in his cheek and knuckles as he was knocked to the ground.
"She's all you have and you left her alone for nine years! If this was anyone other then her you'd be hated for it. You should have been the one to nearly drown in your own blood because it's no more then what you deserve."
Yuki's fingers touched under his eye and stormed off, leaving the elder man feeling ashamed and alone.
(A cold hand) gathers up the shed thorns, so (A banked flame) continues to smoulder
'Do you remember me at all Lily chan? I don't know that even your mother would, I've changed so much. It's almost like I've become someone else.'
Let's depict the vividly dancing thoughts found in that place of light that is unreachable even now. Don't fear the passage of time, so that words of guidance won't completely spill out and flow away.
Noriko watched her friend dance at the front of the stage through salty tears. She'd promised that she'd never let them get hurt again, but now it seemed as though that child was going to have to go through painful things again.
To the reincarnation of you, I say colour your eyes without smiling alone. Even if the world you've longed for has suddenly burned to ash, the miracle could still happen to come again.
'It's now or never,' Ryuichi reached up to his face and took a breath for the final lyrics.
Let's depict the vividly dancing thoughts found in that place of light that is unreachable even now. Don't fear the passage of time, so that words of guidance won't completely spill out and flow away.
The threat of tears pickled in Lily's eyelids as a thought ran across her mind.
(Hold me gently, always catch me, more and more, in order to break my heart)
'It can't be,' she thought fearfully as the singer pulled the sunglasses and hat off of him, throwing them across the stage without a thought or care.
"Lily chan! Dad is over here!" he cried out, smiling as sweat ran down his body.
His brown bangs fell over his bright blue eyes and his handsome face made Lily stagger back-he hadn't aged a day in nine years.
Then everything on stage blacked out.
"Lily? What? You? No! But hang on," Joan was a mess as she tried to comprehend what she had just heard.
Surely, Sakuma Ryuichi couldn't be referring to her friend Lily, he couldn't be her Dad, he must be yelling to another Lily! She laughed to herself and turned to share the joke with her friend.
Where she'd been standing beside her moments earlier had now been filled by other concert goers, trying their best to get closer to their idols.
"Lily? Where did you go? Come back!"
"No-no way," Shuichi breathed, not prepared to accept what Ryuichi had just done. Had he really just revealed himself to Lily in front of hundreds of strangers and all her friends?
Why would he put her in that position? He was meant to love her so why would he something so cruel? It didn't make any sense to him.
The three band members came down the stairs, Noriko wiping freshly spilt tears away from her puffy face. Tohma was expressionless but his eyes told that he was contemplating something that he might or might not share.
Ryuichi however was a bouncing ball of energy that couldn't wait for Lily to run into his arms as he came backstage, there was so much to catch up on.
Shuichi's shocked face then twisted with anger, infuriated by how Ryuichi didn't see his stupidity or the backlash that was yet to come.
"You," he started but was cut off.
"Shuichi!" Joan screamed his name panic stricken as she sprinted over the collection or artists. "She's gone!"
"What?" he gasped and stopped her before she crashed into him. He clasped his gloved hands on her thin shoulders as she caught her breath.
"Tell me everything Joan."
Everyone crowded around the two, attracted to the feeling of urgency emitting from Lily's closest friends.
"She was with me until the song ended and I tried to look for her but I couldn't get though the crowd! I thought that she might be with you so came back here," she gasped as she panicked.
Bile rose in Ryuichi's throat as he heard what the girl with pigtails said. He swallowed hard and ran away from his friends, ignoring the voices calling him back.
Lily lent over the bin outside a closed beach kiosk and threw up. Every time she thought of the sunglasses coming off of his face she was overcome with nausea.
'I'd never thought that Dad would be anyone like that,' she thought as she wiped the watery substance away from her face with the back of her hand. 'But that isn't why I ran.'
Long buried memories had been dug up just from looking at his face, like a dam that had burst to flood through a city of thought.
Wobbling a little she walked away from the bin, making her way up the sand hills to reach the main road. Raindrops began to fall from the thick dark sky and they mixed in with the water already running down her face.
"Goodbye Lily, Daddy will be back for you. Just as soon as Uncle Tohma sorts some work out ok?"
'That's what he told me, so why didn't he do what he said? Why did he leave me alone for all that time? Was it because he hates me?'
She shivered as she thought of that and picked up her pace, she wanted to get as far away from the concert as she could.
It all made sense now-the curious interest in her relationship with her father, the missing CDs from Tohma's rack, the awkward pauses and constant changes of conversation. This had been what they'd been covering up all this time.
All of them had known, Tohma, Shuichi, Hiro, K, Yuki, all but her and Joan. She wanted to be with her right then, wanted to be with someone that didn't keep secrets from her or lied. But Joan was back there with them, and she couldn't turn around and go back there.
Would they laugh at her? Maybe.
She was at the road now, cars blazing past with their high beams on to see through the rain and splashing water up as they drove through puddles.
Lily saw a yellow and green checked car coming her way and she stretched her hand out. It slowed down and halted on the kerb in front of her. With a final glace back at the stage where millions were gathered, she hopped in the back seat, the warmth of the car defrosting her hands a little bit.
"Where to love?" the driver asked, looking at the girl with her arms wrapped herself and trying to stop crying.
"I don't care, just away from here," Lily whispered and averted her attention to the fogged up window, trying to push out the image of the smiling face on stage.
"No, wait a second, I know where."
"Lily! Lily!" Ryuichi yelled as he ran across the beach, frozen to the bone and his throat sore.
"Come back! I'm sorry!" he spun around, praying that he would see her standing behind him or walking over a nearby dune.
His boot slipped on the sloshy ground beneath him and he fell face first into the wet sand. He didn't get up, he just lay there for a moment thinking, before he let out a heavy sob.
Tears ran down his face as he dug his hand into the sand, clutching a handful of grains, assorted shells and leaf litter.
"I'm such a fool," he sobbed as he squeezed his eyes shut.
A tune began to play over his cries and he stopped for half a second, wondering where it was coming from. When he realized that it was his mobile phone in his pocket he didn't bother to answer it. He wanted to be with only one person now.
But it rang and it rang and it rang. Ryuichi's sobs and the electronic tune were all that could be heard over the rising waves of the bay and the rain that cut though his skin like falling sewing pins.
Slowly he rolled onto his back, wet sand sticking to his clothes and skin as he reached for his pants, keeping his eyes on the lonely grey sky above.
With a careless flick the top came open and he hit a button with his thumb. He sniffed to hold back another sob as he held the phone to his ear.
"Ryuichi it's me," it was Tohma. "Where are you? What's going on?"
"I'm a fool Tohma. I wanted to show Lily who I was doing what I love, singing the song that her mother wrote for me long ago. I didn't think that she would run off like that," another sob escaped his throat. "She's scared of me Tohma, I've lost both of them now."
On the other end Tohma listened to his friend cry in despair, his thoughts taking him back to the day at Christina's tombstone. Noriko had a concerned hand squeezing his shoulder as she strained to hear the phone call.
"Ryuichi listen to me," he said with a stern tone. "You can't change the past, but you can do something with the present."
"I can't find her Tohma!" Ryuichi cried, his hand covering his blue eyes as he lay on his back. "I looked everywhere in the crowd and all over the beach. I didn't think that she could get far because she can't breathe well when she runs, but she's not here. What do I do?"
Shuichi pushed Tohma roughly on the shoulder, not out of dislike or anger, but out of importance and urgency.
"Seguchi san," he held out his gloved hand for the phone. "I think I know where she might be going."
"Will you be right here love?" the driver asked with a little concern as stuck his head out the window.
"Yea, thanks," Lily said softly and the car drove off behind her.
She stood looking up at the building and wondered, not at its architectural brilliance but at why it was exactly that she'd returned there.
It the taxi she had thought about going straight to the airport, withdrawing some money from her account and getting on the next plane heading to America.
But what would have been the purpose of that? She wouldn't have been welcomed by anyone other than Artemis and he would have told her to go home and face her problems. He never had been a big one for running away.
America never had been home, it was where she had been born, where her mother had been born and died, where she had stayed with her grandmother and where she'd been in hospital. But in thirteen years she'd never really felt like she'd belonged.
So what did that make Japan? Was here her home? Did she belong here with Shuichi, Joan and Yuki? Or was she just really an accessory for them to carry around? Why did she even come at all? To live with Tohma and hang out with aspiring rock stars had never been part of the initial plan.
'I came to see him,' Lily admitted to herself. 'And I came back to NG because this is where I could be with someone that liked me for me, just like Artemis had done. This is where I had felt.....at home.'
"Lily chan."
Lily looked up to see Ryuichi standing all but three meters beside her, panting and drenched through like her. His puffing made small clouds of mist and they stared at each other, neither of them knowing what to say.
Here they were, after being estranged for nine years, finally meeting. Each of them over the years had developed a list of what they had wanted to say at this moment, but it was all forgotten.
"I.....I'm," Ryuichi started to move closer and Lily's left heel moved back a step. She could see that he was crying like she was, but she didn't want him to get any closer. She was afraid of him, though she didn't quite know why.
Everything inside of him screamed at him to just run up and hug her, never to let go. When he looked at her he saw the woman he had loved, but also himself as well. To a stranger she might have been classed as pretty but plain, but to him she was simply beautiful.
He moved a little closer and held out his hand. Lily looked at his face, then his hand, and with a sob of fear, ran out onto the road. This was too much to handle after nine years of silence. Tears blinded her, stopping her from seeing the oncoming traffic.
She froze as a car's headlights threw themselves over her and the tyres screamed as they slid and swerved all over the road.
A terrible feeling of de ja vu swam over Ryuichi as he watched the car come closer and closer, Lily frozen by the lights.
"No!"
Hikaru's say: I know you'll all hate me, but don't you think this is a fantastic place to leave a cliffhanger? Anyway, so sorry this took ages to write but as you all know, last week before the Easter holidays teachers suddenly remember all the work they should have given you earlier that's due before end of term. (Throws another dart at the dartboard with photos of various teachers on it.)
Anyway, to clear a little something up, Lily did go back to Tohma's but has to spend her days off school at Yuki's so she can't do anything he doesn't like until she's fully recovered.
Another disclaimer is for the song Shuichi sings. I can't write songs or any form of poetry for peanuts so I used a translation for a song called New Future from the anime Full Moon wo Sagashite. I know it might look a little corny to read about Shuichi singing it but it really is a good song to any anime collection and consider yourself lucky that you weren't subjected to some of my poetry which would have left you screaming in pain.
Both song translations are from www.animelyrics.com.
Of course I don't own Gravitation.
Hope you liked this chapter (only one more to go!) and don't forget to review. Bye.
"Call yourself a Bad Luck fan?" Lily said in mock disgust as they walked over the harbour bridge together.
"Why did you turn down Shuichi offer for a lift in Heaven's name?" Joan's boots sloshed though what was left of yesterday's snow. "We'll end up being Bad Luck's most dedicated popstickles before we even get there."
Lily sighed and gave the same answer to the same question her friend had asked fifty times in the past half-hour.
"Because," she said slightly irritated. "If we are seen arriving with the internationally successful band Bad Luck we will have our faces plastered all over the tabloids tomorrow morning. Remember what happened after I filled in for Fujisaki san?"
"Oh," Joan nodded her head vigorously. "I see you've really thought things through."
Her face then took on a catty expression and her eyes gave a flicker that meant that she was looking for trouble.
"So does Yuki san know where you're going today?"
"What's he got to do with anything?" Lily asked giving her a warning look sideways.
"Well, nothing I guess. It's just that after the way he showed up at school the other day and with all those hours he spent with you at the hospital I would have thought that you being in a crowd of over 10,000 might have made him a touch concerned about his precious asset."
"You," Lily held up her index finger in a dangerous fashion, "are walking on very thin ice with a really big shark underneath."
Joan sniggered to herself and her pace picked up when she spotted the stage coming into view through the dark clouds that covered the horizon.
"We're nearly there!" she said and momentarily forgot about how she couldn't feel her toes any more. "Hurry up before all the plebs nab all the front spots."
"Hold your horses," Lily said and reached into her jacket. "I just need to do something."
They were nearly at the end off the bridge now with cars whizzing past them filled with youths eager to see some rock stars and get boozed up. Below them the water of Tokyo Bay ravaged and raged mercilessly.
Lily pulled out a large velvet box and held it out over the rail. The wind pulled at her air and stung her face a bit as she leaned over the railing ever so slightly. Then with a smile she released the box.
Joan hurried over to see the velvet box fall down, down, down until it hit the water below. It was visible on the surface for half a second before the waves devoured it, swallowing it into the deep.
"Was that jewellery?" Joan asked totally flabbergasted.
"Yep," Lily said casually and put her hands back in her jacket pockets. "I decided that it meant nothing to me."
Joan took one more fleeting look over the edge before catching up to Lily's retreating figure.
"So you just threw it away?"
"Yep," she simply said with a nod. Joan didn't know what to say but she got the feeling that she was missing a few finer details, just like the rest of the time.
"Well you could have just used the trash bash."
"Now everyone please do your best out there today. This is very important so you can give the tour a good start and to rope new fans in. Shindo kun are you sure you're confident with all the new lyrics? Fujisaki kun you don't need Nickson san to hack into a database for music do you? Please don't do anything strange this time Shindo kun and don't..."
"Sakano san!" the three musicians yelled together. Their producer's nerves were a mess as they walked from their trailer on the sand to the stage.
"Don't worry about the song Sakano san," Shuichi said with a bright smile. "Even though the lyrics aren't quite up to my literary genius I'm sure it will go fine."
"What literary genius?" Fujisaki hissed to the guitarist.
Hiro held up his hand to silence him and let out a small sigh.
"Let's just be thankful that Lily chan gave him the song this time round. I don't think I could manage another slump like at last year's festival," he whispered behind his hand.
With a final warning from their ever so persuasive manager they left him and a shaking Sakano san backstage as they greeted a mass of adoring fans.
The screams were deafening and the goosebumps on Shuichi's exposed stomach disappeared thanks to the large collection of stage lights focused on him.
"Hi everyone!" Shuichi called out to the people in the far back though the microphone. "Are you all having fun?"
He took the roar from the crowd as a yes.
"Today, before Bad Luck starts their tour," he waited for the screaming to die down before he continued talking. "We will sing to you our new song! Take it away Fujisaki!"
The intro had hardly started when the singer turned around to his band mates screaming at them to stop, waving his microphone up and down in the air.
"Wait a sec wait a sec!" he turned back to the crowd panic stricken. "Where's Lily chan? I want her to be here if I'm going to sing! This is her mother's song here!"
Backstage someone tensed up and his companions looked at one another with worried expressions. However he wasn't the only one Shuichi was effecting.
"SHINDO KUN!" Sakano screamed pulling at his hair with tears bursting from his eyes. K took careful aim with his gun and the crowd was at a standstill. Hiro and Fujisaki just sighed in unison and slumped over their instruments.
It didn't matter how many times Shuichi performed, something like this would always happen. Always.
Thunk.
A white runner hit the stage and bounced across the platform before stopping near Shuichi. He blinked a few times before picking the shoe up and walked to the edge of the stage holding it.
After a few seconds of scanning the crowd he could see almost right below him Lily and Joan waving to him, their backstage passes hanging around their necks and red in the face from laughing.
"Oh there you are! Ok I guess I can sing now."
The crowd agreed with that notion and Shuichi rubbed the back of his head with an embarrassed laugh. He threw the shoe down to his friend and gave Fujisaki a nod.
For the second time a simple yet catchy tune came from the keyboards and Hiro made his presence clear. As the intro played Shuichi kept his eyes closed and thought. Thought about the song and the one he loved the most to give it the extra shine it needed.
"Just one thing doesn't change That dream I painted How did I appear as I am now In my young eyes back then Hey, look up at it, it's such a vast night sky So that soon, so that you understand You will shine at your best soon so hurry Look for the FULL MOON
Let's sing a song! Together forever Everything I can do for you right now Day by day Your destiny until now From tomorrow, clutch your hopes to your chest Let's sing a song! Together forever If I'm with you I can overcome any hardship More and more More and more and more I want to be closer Please stay right here Many thanks for you!
Wonderous chance meetings As long as they keep happening We have ever more precious things All those days full of chance mischief Now I can laugh and love them That's right, I always yearned for the wide stage Now I'm no longer alone Everyone is full of smiles Because this is where I am
Let's sing a song Tonight, rather than the spotlight, it's me that will shine now Day by day Those passionate looks and cheers shine upon my streaming sweat Let's sing a song Tonight I want to believe there are never ending burning thoughts More and more More and more and more I want to scream this song, this dream will never end
Let's sing a song! Repeat and repeat Let's sing a song! Repeat and repeat
This is the song for you"
The song finished and the lights on stage went out, preventing the audience from seeing anything on stage. However the microphones were still on so they all heard Shuichi trip over a cord and start to cry.
"That was pretty good!" Joan yelled over the crowd's cheers. "It was a bit different to his regular style but he pulled it off quite nicely considering that he hadn't written it himself. Don't you think so Lily?"
Lily hadn't heard her at all. She was still smiling up at the stage, not sure wether to run backstage to hug Shuichi or to just cry out of happiness right there and then.
'Mum must have really loved someone to write a song like that. Thankyou for letting her shine one last time Shuichi.'
"Hey snap out of it!" she felt something thump her in the arm and she jumped in surprise.
"What?" she asked completely bewildered. It was like being woken up from an intense dream when you're really tired.
"He sang that really well didn't he?" Joan now demanded an answer after being ignored.
"Yea, I don't even think Yuki san could criticise that. Oh wait........yes he could."
"Ah Shindo kun that was beautiful," a very frail and very relieved Sakano sang as he floated around the group.
Hiro had Shuichi in a headlock while they laughed. If you ignored the little slip up at the end and the panic attack at the start, it was their only performance where Shuichi hadn't given the press a new bone to gnaw on.
"That was very well done."
"Boss!"
Hiro let go and they saw the three members of Nittle Grasper standing in front of them. Ryuichi held no visible expression and Shuichi felt for the first time a sense of worry regarding the song.
Was Ryuichi angry that he'd sung one of his lover's songs? A love song that was probably about him or his daughter. Lily had given it to him for the festival but did that really mean that it had been ok to use? Had he been allowed to express someone else's feeling of love?
"That was cool Shuichi!" he grinned giving the thumbs up.
Shuichi nearly melted with relief and tried to pretend he didn't notice the fading bruise on Ryuichi's right cheek.
"Nah, nah, it was these guys, I just sang while Hiro and Fujisaki played. It was their achievement actually. And it was Christina who saved the day really, with her talent with lyrics," Shuichi tried to throw the praise off but Ryuichi continued to smile.
"Nope, nope na no da. Christina wrote it but the rest was all you, she'd be happy with you!"
The actor who was hosting the concert called out the next performance and there was a cry from the audience.
"Time to go Ryuichi!" Norio commanded and gave the vocalist a push in the back.
He let out a deep sigh and put a baseball cap and a pair of sunglasses on.
"Lily chan is out there right?" his voice was now deep and serious, his happy mood forgotten under the pressure that had now been placed on him.
"Yes," the younger singer said and saddened. Would Ryuichi ever tell her the truth?
"Christina would be happy with you Shuichi," he said as he followed his two band mates up the stage stairs. "But I wonder if she'd be happy with me."
"Everyone please welcome Japan's most loved band, Nittle Grasper!" the host called out like a ringmaster and slinked off stage. The lights went out once more to leave the audience in suspense.
"Hey are these the guys who sang that Sleepless Beauty song?" Lily yelled over the noise of the people around her.
"Hella yea! I can't believe you don't know them, you, who has the nerve to call me clueless," Joan didn't turn to her but kept her eyes on the stage in anticipation.
"Well it's strange because I'm sure I know the name and music but I can't...."
The lights came on stage and the roar of the crowd trampled Lily's voice. She looked up and nearly had a heart attack.
There was Tohma on the keyboards and opposite him on the other keyboard was the woman Lily had seen in the market yesterday. In between them stood a man in denim and a black and white T-shirt, his face concealed by a pair of sunglasses and a hat.
'I knew Tohma still played but I didn't expect anything like this,' she thought with wonder. 'And there's that crazy lady that knows my Dad's name! What in God's name is going on?'
The singer gave no introduction or gave a greeting to the crowd. In all honesty he looked like he would rather be sitting in a dentist's chair then on stage. Much to the surprise of the keyboard players he turned and requested something.
"Sleepless Beauty please," he held his hand over the microphone, confusing the audience with his hold up.
"But Ryu chan," Noriko stared in disbelief, "we have a whole new song lined up for this performance. Why do want to sing Sleepless Beauty all of a sudden?"
"Please Noriko, Tohma."
His voice was serious and Tohma thought he heard a note of fear escape his throat. The green eyes that were usually filled with hidden danger filled with sympathy for his friend and knew that it was time.
He nodded to Noriko and she turned back to her keyboard. She would have to do this, whether it was the right time or not.
Neither of them could bring back Christina-no one could, but they could try to reforge a bond that had been broken long ago. The only problem was, it could go two ways.
A well revised and forever popular tune came from their keyboards and Ryuichi counted himself in. It was time to tell.
"Oh this is such a jib!" Joan cried and stomped the sand angrily like a small child. "I was expecting something new! I want a refund dammit!"
"You didn't pay for this in the first place," Lily muttered more to herself than to Joan.
From far away, let your eyes shine; those who have awakened are still waiting. Seduce the ramparts of the night in the cast-off pile of skins left by things that now live elsewhere.
'I'm sorry Christina, I left her alone because I was scared. Scared that the only person I love wouldn't love me in return, or that I'd loose her like I'd lost you.'
(without an exit) if you intend to survive the impact (to the point where you fall apart) enrapture the deceits
"Lily what's wrong?" Joan caught sight of her friend watching the performance with her face paler than cream.
You who have been reborn, colour your eyes without smiling alone. Even if the world you've longed for has suddenly burned to ash, in some miracle we could still brush into each other.
"K what is he going to do?" Shuichi asked the performer's ex-manager as he watched Ryuichi on stage. His singing and style was extraordinary as usual, but Shuichi had a bad feeling.
"I don't know."
(Hold me gently in order to break me)
'I hate this feeling, I want to remember it but I just can't. It's like part of my life never happened. I want to know but I don't know if I can handle it,' Lily couldn't look away, this song and this man were somehow a clue to her own identity.
Be exposed in a state of purity like a flower whose petals have fallen. You're just beginning to notice the days are shining jewels cupped in your hand.
Ryuichi reflected on the day Yuki had hit him at the NG building, remembering the throbbing pain in his cheek and knuckles as he was knocked to the ground.
"She's all you have and you left her alone for nine years! If this was anyone other then her you'd be hated for it. You should have been the one to nearly drown in your own blood because it's no more then what you deserve."
Yuki's fingers touched under his eye and stormed off, leaving the elder man feeling ashamed and alone.
(A cold hand) gathers up the shed thorns, so (A banked flame) continues to smoulder
'Do you remember me at all Lily chan? I don't know that even your mother would, I've changed so much. It's almost like I've become someone else.'
Let's depict the vividly dancing thoughts found in that place of light that is unreachable even now. Don't fear the passage of time, so that words of guidance won't completely spill out and flow away.
Noriko watched her friend dance at the front of the stage through salty tears. She'd promised that she'd never let them get hurt again, but now it seemed as though that child was going to have to go through painful things again.
To the reincarnation of you, I say colour your eyes without smiling alone. Even if the world you've longed for has suddenly burned to ash, the miracle could still happen to come again.
'It's now or never,' Ryuichi reached up to his face and took a breath for the final lyrics.
Let's depict the vividly dancing thoughts found in that place of light that is unreachable even now. Don't fear the passage of time, so that words of guidance won't completely spill out and flow away.
The threat of tears pickled in Lily's eyelids as a thought ran across her mind.
(Hold me gently, always catch me, more and more, in order to break my heart)
'It can't be,' she thought fearfully as the singer pulled the sunglasses and hat off of him, throwing them across the stage without a thought or care.
"Lily chan! Dad is over here!" he cried out, smiling as sweat ran down his body.
His brown bangs fell over his bright blue eyes and his handsome face made Lily stagger back-he hadn't aged a day in nine years.
Then everything on stage blacked out.
"Lily? What? You? No! But hang on," Joan was a mess as she tried to comprehend what she had just heard.
Surely, Sakuma Ryuichi couldn't be referring to her friend Lily, he couldn't be her Dad, he must be yelling to another Lily! She laughed to herself and turned to share the joke with her friend.
Where she'd been standing beside her moments earlier had now been filled by other concert goers, trying their best to get closer to their idols.
"Lily? Where did you go? Come back!"
"No-no way," Shuichi breathed, not prepared to accept what Ryuichi had just done. Had he really just revealed himself to Lily in front of hundreds of strangers and all her friends?
Why would he put her in that position? He was meant to love her so why would he something so cruel? It didn't make any sense to him.
The three band members came down the stairs, Noriko wiping freshly spilt tears away from her puffy face. Tohma was expressionless but his eyes told that he was contemplating something that he might or might not share.
Ryuichi however was a bouncing ball of energy that couldn't wait for Lily to run into his arms as he came backstage, there was so much to catch up on.
Shuichi's shocked face then twisted with anger, infuriated by how Ryuichi didn't see his stupidity or the backlash that was yet to come.
"You," he started but was cut off.
"Shuichi!" Joan screamed his name panic stricken as she sprinted over the collection or artists. "She's gone!"
"What?" he gasped and stopped her before she crashed into him. He clasped his gloved hands on her thin shoulders as she caught her breath.
"Tell me everything Joan."
Everyone crowded around the two, attracted to the feeling of urgency emitting from Lily's closest friends.
"She was with me until the song ended and I tried to look for her but I couldn't get though the crowd! I thought that she might be with you so came back here," she gasped as she panicked.
Bile rose in Ryuichi's throat as he heard what the girl with pigtails said. He swallowed hard and ran away from his friends, ignoring the voices calling him back.
Lily lent over the bin outside a closed beach kiosk and threw up. Every time she thought of the sunglasses coming off of his face she was overcome with nausea.
'I'd never thought that Dad would be anyone like that,' she thought as she wiped the watery substance away from her face with the back of her hand. 'But that isn't why I ran.'
Long buried memories had been dug up just from looking at his face, like a dam that had burst to flood through a city of thought.
Wobbling a little she walked away from the bin, making her way up the sand hills to reach the main road. Raindrops began to fall from the thick dark sky and they mixed in with the water already running down her face.
"Goodbye Lily, Daddy will be back for you. Just as soon as Uncle Tohma sorts some work out ok?"
'That's what he told me, so why didn't he do what he said? Why did he leave me alone for all that time? Was it because he hates me?'
She shivered as she thought of that and picked up her pace, she wanted to get as far away from the concert as she could.
It all made sense now-the curious interest in her relationship with her father, the missing CDs from Tohma's rack, the awkward pauses and constant changes of conversation. This had been what they'd been covering up all this time.
All of them had known, Tohma, Shuichi, Hiro, K, Yuki, all but her and Joan. She wanted to be with her right then, wanted to be with someone that didn't keep secrets from her or lied. But Joan was back there with them, and she couldn't turn around and go back there.
Would they laugh at her? Maybe.
She was at the road now, cars blazing past with their high beams on to see through the rain and splashing water up as they drove through puddles.
Lily saw a yellow and green checked car coming her way and she stretched her hand out. It slowed down and halted on the kerb in front of her. With a final glace back at the stage where millions were gathered, she hopped in the back seat, the warmth of the car defrosting her hands a little bit.
"Where to love?" the driver asked, looking at the girl with her arms wrapped herself and trying to stop crying.
"I don't care, just away from here," Lily whispered and averted her attention to the fogged up window, trying to push out the image of the smiling face on stage.
"No, wait a second, I know where."
"Lily! Lily!" Ryuichi yelled as he ran across the beach, frozen to the bone and his throat sore.
"Come back! I'm sorry!" he spun around, praying that he would see her standing behind him or walking over a nearby dune.
His boot slipped on the sloshy ground beneath him and he fell face first into the wet sand. He didn't get up, he just lay there for a moment thinking, before he let out a heavy sob.
Tears ran down his face as he dug his hand into the sand, clutching a handful of grains, assorted shells and leaf litter.
"I'm such a fool," he sobbed as he squeezed his eyes shut.
A tune began to play over his cries and he stopped for half a second, wondering where it was coming from. When he realized that it was his mobile phone in his pocket he didn't bother to answer it. He wanted to be with only one person now.
But it rang and it rang and it rang. Ryuichi's sobs and the electronic tune were all that could be heard over the rising waves of the bay and the rain that cut though his skin like falling sewing pins.
Slowly he rolled onto his back, wet sand sticking to his clothes and skin as he reached for his pants, keeping his eyes on the lonely grey sky above.
With a careless flick the top came open and he hit a button with his thumb. He sniffed to hold back another sob as he held the phone to his ear.
"Ryuichi it's me," it was Tohma. "Where are you? What's going on?"
"I'm a fool Tohma. I wanted to show Lily who I was doing what I love, singing the song that her mother wrote for me long ago. I didn't think that she would run off like that," another sob escaped his throat. "She's scared of me Tohma, I've lost both of them now."
On the other end Tohma listened to his friend cry in despair, his thoughts taking him back to the day at Christina's tombstone. Noriko had a concerned hand squeezing his shoulder as she strained to hear the phone call.
"Ryuichi listen to me," he said with a stern tone. "You can't change the past, but you can do something with the present."
"I can't find her Tohma!" Ryuichi cried, his hand covering his blue eyes as he lay on his back. "I looked everywhere in the crowd and all over the beach. I didn't think that she could get far because she can't breathe well when she runs, but she's not here. What do I do?"
Shuichi pushed Tohma roughly on the shoulder, not out of dislike or anger, but out of importance and urgency.
"Seguchi san," he held out his gloved hand for the phone. "I think I know where she might be going."
"Will you be right here love?" the driver asked with a little concern as stuck his head out the window.
"Yea, thanks," Lily said softly and the car drove off behind her.
She stood looking up at the building and wondered, not at its architectural brilliance but at why it was exactly that she'd returned there.
It the taxi she had thought about going straight to the airport, withdrawing some money from her account and getting on the next plane heading to America.
But what would have been the purpose of that? She wouldn't have been welcomed by anyone other than Artemis and he would have told her to go home and face her problems. He never had been a big one for running away.
America never had been home, it was where she had been born, where her mother had been born and died, where she had stayed with her grandmother and where she'd been in hospital. But in thirteen years she'd never really felt like she'd belonged.
So what did that make Japan? Was here her home? Did she belong here with Shuichi, Joan and Yuki? Or was she just really an accessory for them to carry around? Why did she even come at all? To live with Tohma and hang out with aspiring rock stars had never been part of the initial plan.
'I came to see him,' Lily admitted to herself. 'And I came back to NG because this is where I could be with someone that liked me for me, just like Artemis had done. This is where I had felt.....at home.'
"Lily chan."
Lily looked up to see Ryuichi standing all but three meters beside her, panting and drenched through like her. His puffing made small clouds of mist and they stared at each other, neither of them knowing what to say.
Here they were, after being estranged for nine years, finally meeting. Each of them over the years had developed a list of what they had wanted to say at this moment, but it was all forgotten.
"I.....I'm," Ryuichi started to move closer and Lily's left heel moved back a step. She could see that he was crying like she was, but she didn't want him to get any closer. She was afraid of him, though she didn't quite know why.
Everything inside of him screamed at him to just run up and hug her, never to let go. When he looked at her he saw the woman he had loved, but also himself as well. To a stranger she might have been classed as pretty but plain, but to him she was simply beautiful.
He moved a little closer and held out his hand. Lily looked at his face, then his hand, and with a sob of fear, ran out onto the road. This was too much to handle after nine years of silence. Tears blinded her, stopping her from seeing the oncoming traffic.
She froze as a car's headlights threw themselves over her and the tyres screamed as they slid and swerved all over the road.
A terrible feeling of de ja vu swam over Ryuichi as he watched the car come closer and closer, Lily frozen by the lights.
"No!"
Hikaru's say: I know you'll all hate me, but don't you think this is a fantastic place to leave a cliffhanger? Anyway, so sorry this took ages to write but as you all know, last week before the Easter holidays teachers suddenly remember all the work they should have given you earlier that's due before end of term. (Throws another dart at the dartboard with photos of various teachers on it.)
Anyway, to clear a little something up, Lily did go back to Tohma's but has to spend her days off school at Yuki's so she can't do anything he doesn't like until she's fully recovered.
Another disclaimer is for the song Shuichi sings. I can't write songs or any form of poetry for peanuts so I used a translation for a song called New Future from the anime Full Moon wo Sagashite. I know it might look a little corny to read about Shuichi singing it but it really is a good song to any anime collection and consider yourself lucky that you weren't subjected to some of my poetry which would have left you screaming in pain.
Both song translations are from www.animelyrics.com.
Of course I don't own Gravitation.
Hope you liked this chapter (only one more to go!) and don't forget to review. Bye.