"Here Without You" Chapter 3
Long time no post… I know…I'm a slacker. I was intending to just stop this story completely because it didn't seem like people were into it. Little did I know that the story wanted to be finished. The darn thing haunted my sleep. So, I figured this summer I have nothing to do except my two day a week internship. Why not get back into the world of fan fiction. Anywho, please be kind and review. Even if it's just a 'hey, I'm reading' or a 'this sucks'. At least I know it's been read. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I don't own a thing…except college loans. You can sue me so long as you are willing to take those bad boys over J
Sydney waited patiently for Nate to come home. She and Chloe had just come back from her first visit with her doctor. The doctor threw her for a pretty big loop. Now she wanted to share it with her brother. She nearly pounced on him when he walked in the door.
"Nate, I need to tell you something." Syd grinned.
"Ok." He smiled back then looked to Chloe. "You know it's not healthy to give pregnant woman drugs."
"Shut up." Chloe laughed.
"The doctor you took me to that first day . . . he missed something."
"What?"
"A second heartbeat. I'm having twins!"
"Wow! Uncle Nate better start saving money. I only thought I had to spoil one kid. Now it's two." Nate leaned down to give Sydney a hug. He looked to Chloe. "So, I assume it's good news day?" He winked.
"Huh?" Syd questioned.
"Last night," Chloe stared as she pulled out a box from her purse. "Nate asked me to marry him." She pulled the ring out and put it on her hand.
"No way! That's great." Sydney beamed for her brother and soon to be sister-in-law. "So, when are you going to tie the knot?"
"We were thinking the sooner the better."
"Yep, so I guess now we need a house for five," Chloe added. "I mean for once the twins get old enough they can have their own room."
Sydney couldn't have been happier. She feared at first, for only a few seconds that Nate and Chloe would want to be alone. Thankfully, they wanted Syd to live with them. It was bad enough being four months pregnant without knowing who the babies father was, but to be completely alone would have been terrible. She watched how happy they were and wondered if she had someone out there who made her that happy.
"Syd?" Nate called out.
"Yeah?"
"Do you wanna go out and eat with us?"
"Nah. I'm gonna take a nap. Have fun though," she said as she made her way to her room.
She sat down on her bed and pulled out a journal. the psychologist that she saw suggested she keep one to record her dreams and possible memories in. She opened it up and uncapped her pen. Sydney felt stupid using it as a dream journal so she documented important things in it.
"August 10, 2003. Chloe picked me up at the library today before taking me to the doctor's. She says I not only work there, but I live there. Anyway, I found out I am having twins. Oh boy. Also, Nate and Chloe are getting married. They are so happy and in love. I wonder if I have that somewhere waiting for me. If those dreams are any indication, maybe I do."
She closed the book and laid down. Maybe she'd dream of him again. She loved dreaming of him. It made her feel safe and loved. If only she could remember his face when she woke up. Sometimes, she thought if she could remember a name that would be enough to help her on her way to finding her past.
"Mike?" Weiss called out as he entered the apartment.
"What?" Vaughn was sitting on the couch nursing a beer.
"Good to see you too man." He sat down next to his friend. "What's this?"
"This? Just a letter from an old friend. We were at the farm together." He handed it over to Eric.
"It's a wedding invitation."
"No kidding." Vaughn handed him another slip of paper.
"Vaughn, I wasn't sure if you'd get this. If you do, please come. It'd be nice to catch up. Besides, if you're single I have a beautiful sister-in-law to be to hook you up with. Yours, Chloe Murphy." Weiss looked at Eric. "This is what's got you downing those beers like it's nothing?"
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes, and don't say no again."
"Fine."
"Don't pout. I know you too well."
"Or maybe, I've just been too easy to read." Vaughn took a swig. "Chloe doesn't have clearance to know about Sydney. I just wish I could talk to her about it."
"You've got me."
"I know. It's just . . . it would be nice to talk to someone who doesn't know the case. It doesn't matter anyway."
"Why's that?" Eric asked.
"I'm not going. I'll only bring her down."
"I see. How about I get you out of this stuffy place and we get some dinner. I'm starving." Eric got up.
"Sure." Vaughn wobbled as he stood. "If you drive."
"That was the plan."
Vaughn followed Eric to his car. Every time he started to come undone, Eric was there. For that he was grateful. One day he hoped to repay him. Then again, he wasn't sure he wanted to stick around much longer. It was getting harder to wake up in the mornings and the nightmares haunted him. To top it off, it seemed they'd never capture Derevko or Sloane.
He knew Eric was worried about him. Everyone thought he was on the verge of losing it. They were wrong. He already lost it. He lost everything when Sydney left. Vaughn wasn't stupid either, he knew there were some people who were concerned he'd do something to himself. There was no way he would. Finding Sydney was what kept him going. But, sometimes he wondered if he could stay in LA and be near things that reminded him of her. It was growing harder to do that.
"Don't . . . no! Leave him alone!" Sydney cried in her sleep.
She was terrified. Not for herself, but for the man in the room with her. It was the faceless man from before. Except she didn't feel safe. She watched as two larger men kicked, punched, and even burned him with their cigarettes. It was too much for her. Somehow she managed to maneuver herself just enough to kick one of the men.
"No, don't touch him," she mumbled then shot out of bed. She was drenched in sweat and her heart was racing.
"Sydney?" Chloe entered the room. "Are you ok?"
"I didn't wake you, did I?"
"No. Nate's snoring did." She sat down on the edge of the bed and put her arms around Syd. "Bad dream?"
"Bad dream is an understatement. It was terrible. There were these men hurting him and I couldn't stop it," she cried. "It was like they were torturing him."
"Shh. It's ok."
"What if it's not a dream?"
"It's not a memory. Don't think like that. We've been over this," Chloe said.
"It was so real."
"So was the dream you showed up to the wedding naked." Chloe laughed. "Go to sleep. In the morning we'll have the biggest most fattening breakfast before we set off for some last minute baby shopping."
"Yeah, ok."
"Think of happy dreams with mystery man," Chloe said before leaving.
Sydney wasn't sure she wanted to dream of him this time. Instead, she focused on Nate and Chloe's wedding. For some reason they couldn't wait to get married. The ceremony was only two months after they announce their engagement. They now lived in nice four bedroom in Brooklyn.
She had to change her job, since she was 7 months pregnant. It was too much to commute to Manhattan in her 'fattened state' as she called it. So, she transferred to a library closer to home. She loved her job and her family. Maybe it was time she stopped focusing on the past when the future was standing in front of her.
"He shoots, he scores," Weiss cried.
"Yeah, you're a natural," Vaughn teased.
"We all can't be as good as you. Besides, when it comes to yo-yo you can't touch me."
"No, sadly I can't."
Vaughn skated off the ice. Weiss followed and sat down. Ever since that night Eric found Vaughn drowning his sorrows in booze, he had made it his mission to get Vaughn's mind off Sydney even if for a few hours. Now, Vaughn didn't mind the time he spent with his friend. He just wished everyone would stop acting like he was going to break at any moment.
"Mikey, we need to talk."
"Don't get all serious on me. It doesn't suit you." Vaughn began to undo his skates.
"You're telling me," he laughed. "Now, seriously . . . did you think you could get away with punching Kendall?"
"He deserved it. If I hadn't Jack would have." Vaughn's eyes showed his anger. "For him to even insinuate Sydney's disappearance was of her own free will . . . she's not a traitor and she's not working with her mother."
"We all know that. You just can't go around punching Kendall. We could have put his face on a punching bag or something." Weiss pulled out a letter. "You are being ordered to take grief counseling."
"Yeah, funny." He pushed the letter away.
"No joke."
"How long?"
"I think a session or two will do." Weiss dropped the letter on his lap. "Can I suggest something?"
"What?"
"Get away for awhile. Go somewhere. Anywhere."
"I can't. Leave it alone." Vaughn stood up. "I might as well get this counseling out of the way. I'll see you later."
Vaughn grabbed his stuff and left the ice skating rink. He felt guilty for the way he had been treating everyone. There was even a small part of him that felt bad for punching Kendall. Small part. Very small. It angered him to no end he was being ordered to talk to someone about his feeling. He just wanted to get done with it right away. Knowing Barnett kept odd hours, he drove the CIA headquarters.
"Agent Vaughn?" Barnett looked up at him.
"I'm being ordered to attend grief counseling and I want to get it done with now. Do you have time?"
"Of course." She motioned for him to sit.
"Dr. Reynolds, isn't there anything you can do that can speed up my memory to return?" Sydney asked impatiently.
"Sydney, I've told you. We can't rush it. Let's just talk about some of your dreams."
"Fine." She closed her eyes. "There's this nightmare I keep having. It's the man from my other dreams. Only this time, it's not happy. There are these men . . .," she trailed off.
She began to tell Dr. Reynolds everything she was seeing. She was in small room with a cot. Her left foot was chained to the wall and the man was laying on the floor. There were two bigger men punching, kicking, and even burning him. She screamed for them to stop, but they didn't listen. There were bruises on her arms and she knew she felt pain. Finally, she had managed to kick one of the men.
"After I kicked him, he back handed me and I fell down. I always wake up then," Sydney finished.
"You keep dreaming about your mission to Germany?" Barnett pried.
"Yes. But it's not real. Sydney was never there. In my sleep she is."
"How so?"
"We are in the room I was kept in. She's chained to a wall and I can tell they've been hurting her. Her arms are bruised and there's blood on her face," Vaughn said. "I felt everything that happened to me for real. Only, she's there and she kicks one of the men. He hits her hard and she falls. The second man says that I've had enough and they leave. Sydney tries to get to me, but can't." He stopped and took a deep breath.
"That's all?"
"No. I manage to get to her. She holds me. I know she is in pain too. I want to take it away. I can't. She tells me she's sorry and it's her fault and that I should hate her for everything. How can I hate her?"
"That could very well be your subconscious being angry at Sydney for not being here," Barnett suggested.
"It's not her fault she's not here. It's not like she decided to go away. She was taken." Vaughn stood up. "This was a waste of time."
"You may think that, but it wasn't. I do want you to come back in a few days."
"Sure. Fine," he mumbled as he got up and left.
Vaughn stalked out of Barnett's office. Therapy was a waste. Talking about his feelings was not going to bring Sydney back. Going out and searching for her, putting everything he had into finding her would bring her back. Or so he thought. It was then he decided he wasn't going to listen to any order that demanded he back off the search for Sydney. He was going to get all the help he could get.