Title: Kick Start Your Heart
Author: Battus philenor
Disclaimer: I said no, CSI is not mine!
With one swift kick to the groin he collapsed in front of her; a now withering idiot who had the audacity to think he could mess with Sara Sidle. Even with the adrenaline causing her to want to continue beating the heck out of him; she couldn't help but feel a little sorry for the man lying at her feet crying.
Having heard the commotion from elsewhere in the house, Brass and Grissom ran towards the noise, worried with what they would find. Brass stood; with weapon drawn and Grissom trying to push past him, with mouth open at the sight before him.
The lowering of his gun along with the snort of laughter that escaped Brass' lips calmed Grissom somewhat but he was still trying to push past the motionless cop. With one final mighty shove Grissom managed to blow by his friend, stumbling into the room.
"Sara, are you…ok?" The words were leaving his mouth as he was taking in the scene. Had he waited two seconds to speak, those words never would have left his mouth. The site before him not only relieved him greatly, it tickled him so that he also almost let out a chuckle. Thankfully he caught himself, knowing the wrath of this woman was not something he wished on anybody.
The brunette who had been invading his dreams for years now was in a position that even he had never thought up. Standing knees slightly bent, arms up with fists at the ready and leaning over a sobbing man. The poor unfortunate soul was curled up in a ball whimpering while holding his genitals.
"I'm fine Grissom, but I don't think this guy will be starting a family anytime soon."
Grissom squeezed his eyes shut while pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to stifle the laughter that wanted so badly to erupt from his mouth.
"Grissom, are you ok? Are you getting a migraine?" Sara's voice was now full of concern.
"No, I'm ok." A half a grin overtook his lips as he opened his eyes finally giving up his attempt at hiding the fact that he found her stance humorous.
With her eyes widening, Sara strode to within three feet of Grissom. With both hands on her hips she began mindlessly tapping her right toe as she glared at the man before her.
"Tell me you are not laughing at me! You are, aren't you? You find it funny that I was attacked by this lunatic who had been hiding out under the bed?"
"Sara, I wasn't laughing because you almost got attacked. You just looked so…"
"Fine, I know that you don't think of me as a friend any more, but to actually find humor in the fact that I could have been killed! You are not the man I thought you were."
With that she stormed out leaving a no longer grinning Grissom standing watching Brass try to cuff the guy who was still gripping his genitals and crying.
000000
Coming there to start something had been a good idea when she was sitting home stewing, but now that she was poised for the attack her mind was wandering and she only felt tired. Tired of the drama and exhausted from the mental game that had been going on for years between her and Grissom.
His latest transgression was just that; another simple play in the game that was their relationship. The game would continue because this was all they knew how to do. Anything more than that would require them both to realize the previous years had been wasted, skirting around the truth.
Any resolution, regardless of the outcome would require a lengthy peace talk and total honesty from both parties. Not sure if she was up for that she began an internal debate on whether Grissom was even capable of it.
So she now stood before his door having had this sudden revelation regarding their relationship. Teetering between calling the game and continuing for a few more innings; her hand at the ready in a fist above his door, not sure if she should knock or just give up and go back home. Any anger from the day's events long gone, she was left with only a longing for peace.
Suddenly the door opened and the decision was made for her as Grissom nearly ran her over. Apparently on his way to the mailbox; the letters in his hand fell and scattered as he stared gape mouthed at her.
Sara stood; hand still raised ready for knocking, feeling totally unprepared for the conversation she had been craving just twenty minutes prior. She dropped her hand bending down to gather the outgoing mail that was strewn about the aforementioned sidewalk.
Grissom stood with a mix of excitement and dread that she had come to his house after having once again treated her poorly. Grissom found himself in a constant quandary around the woman before him who was picking up his mail.
His attraction to her was like no other. He had so little control in her presence it was unnerving. When not on guard he would flirt uncontrollably with her; only to realize too late what he was doing. Forced to reign his feelings back in, and watch the light in her eyes burn out.
It was so hard to pretend he wasn't attracted to and had no feelings for her. He was beginning to doubt the effort he put into that, and wondered if it was worth it. It seemed things would be easier all the way around if he just gave in to love.
Love. Letting out a long ragged breath, he reached out to grab hold of the door jam as the realization left him a little lightheaded. He was in love with Sara. The fact that he was able to disregard the signs for so long, barely entered his mind. The only thing currently taking up space there was the horrible thought that he was too late.
Standing back up with his mail in hand, Sara was immediately concerned at Grissom's pallor and the death grip he now had on the door frame.
"Grissom, what's wrong?" She was by his side with her hand on his hip before she finished her question.
Snapping himself out of his daze, Grissom's face reddened with embarrassment.
"Nothing Sara, I'm ok. Please come in, I want to talk to you."
Sitting at the opposite end of the couch from Grissom, Sara found herself uncontrollably fiddling with the fabric of its arm. Her knee bouncing nervously, seemingly without her knowledge.
She realized this had been much easier just thinking about it in the comfort of her own living room, alone. Sitting just two feet away from him on the same piece of furniture, every word she had previously mapped out flew out of her head.
"Sara, I'm sorry about earlier today. I wasn't laughing at your being attacked. I hope that you know I would never do that."
"I know Grissom. I'm sorry too. I was so full of adrenaline and was sort of shocked after the whole event; I just couldn't understand your reaction. I always thought that you cared, and at that moment…"
"Sara, I do care." Sighing, he breathed out the rest of his thought, "more than you know."
"I believe you Grissom. I just don't want to do this anymore. I'm so tired of this whole thing. We go from flirting to fighting, and it's just too hard."
"Yes, it is."
"Look, I'll make this easy on you. I'll leave. I can go back to California. I should be able to get a job without too much of a problem, especially if I can get a glowing recommendation from the famous Dr. Grissom."
"No!"
"You won't even write me a recommendation? Grissom—"
"No, I mean you can't leave." Sighing heavily again, he leaned forward resting his head in his hands. Unable to look her in the eye he commenced his confession.
"Sara, I don't like what's happened to us either. I guess I realized just a few minutes ago that it's my fault entirely. This chemistry between us is so intense sometimes. I wasn't lying when I said I didn't know what to do about it. I'm fifty years old for Christ sake and have never felt this way before."
Standing suddenly he started pacing, picking up where he left off.
"It's the easiest thing in the world to flirt with you, but then I panic because I realize how caught up I get. Everything else exits my mind when I let you occupy it. So I back off, the only way I know how. I stop speaking to you, completely. I have to because it's the only way I can keep any other thought in my head. But, you're still there; I can't get you out of my mind. And I realized today that I really don't want to. I'm tired of fighting it. I'm tired of fighting my feelings for you. They're too strong and it's too hard to do all of the time."
With one more deep breath he turned to look at her for the first time since he started his declaration. After knowing her for eight years it still amazed him that she could take his breath away.
"Sara, I love you and I know what to do about it now." Emotionally drained, he dropped to his knees at her feet.
Gathering him in her arms, she bent her head slightly, kissing the top of his head.
End
Battus philenor