Chapter 3

During the next week, Anya continued to try and help Willow understand magic and how it really works. The main thing she tried to get across was concentration, though Willow had already delved into a huge spell trying to resoul Angel, she still thought starting from square one would be the best way to go. Within hours, she had Willow floating a pencil with ease, directing a book from the shelf to herself and so on. Willow was pleased with her progress and her teacher. She was excited to have someone take the time to sit with her and teach her what magic really was about.

Though Giles had continued to keep his eye on the demon and research ways to stop her if necessary, he too was grateful. He'd never seen Willow so eager to go at such a slow pace and really try to learn how to use magic properly.

It was around 10 PM on a Friday night when Anya got to Willow's home. She'd been struggling with a big decision that surely would have consequences all the way around but she knew she could no longer go on with the charade because she cared to deeply. She was also certain that D'Hoffryn knew it as he was the controller of her soul and she may soon cease to exist. First of all, she wanted to explain a big part of the magic and hoped Willow would carry this with her once she realized what Anya's first intentions really were.

Willow greeted her happily with several kisses and a smile. "I missed you." She said gleefully. "I wanted to ask you something, um, we're having a winter dance and I've never got to go before and…"

"Sure I'll go if you still want me to after tonight. We need to talk about a few things." Anya said never being one to beat around the bush. "First of all I want to tell you the single most important thing about magic Willow. No matter what comes of us in the future, I hope you can remember it and obey it because it's the number one rule for witches." Anya took a seat and pulled Willow into her arms kissing her lovingly. She wished it could be this way forever but feared in a short time that wish would be an impossible dream.

Confusion began to set in, these were purely human emotions she was having; emotions vengeance demons just didn't have. Yet, they were ever present within her and grew by leaps and bounds. She knew something was off, that something was allowing her to have these feelings for a reason and it scared her at the same time as it made her happy.

She finally broke away from the kissing. "Willow sweetie, though I love this pre-orgasmic adventure we so often share. I think we really need to talk." She said smiling at the wiccan.

"Gee this must be serious, you never stopped this um, event as you call it." Willow's smile beamed up at her sparking another kiss.

"Yes well write it down in your memory because it will be a rarity believe me." Anya said holding her gently yet tightly. "Now on to the small magic lesson. Sometimes a task requires one to call on the use of dark magic as you know. The thing is, that is only to be used as a last resort and never played with. Calling on Goddesses and so on to complete a goal most always has consequences and they're never good. What you need to know is you have all the magic you need at your disposal without having to call on the darker beings. Granted you may not always be successful at your attempts but it's far better than being linked to a dark being that was used to get a spell done. Willow honey, the magic is right here, it's in the earth. Practicing using the energy of the earth, learning its elements and how they coincide with each other is the best option for you to become a powerful witch who has averted using too much dark magic. Though I will tell you, I'm not saying it may never have to be used. Control of what you are doing needs to be learned first so you can keep a proper balance and you won't get sucked in by the tempting forces of the darkness so easily. Read those books on elements, contrasting magic and so on that you call boring please Willow because I don't want you to get hurt by the dark magic forces."

Willow listened to every word, every syllable in fact. She loved to hear Anya talk and wanted to learn more and more from the demon. "Okay Willow, lastly, never ever use dark magic out of anger or to have your will be done. Never Willow, it'll suck you in faster than I can get you to have that first orgasm." Willow couldn't help but laugh at that analogy. "You do understand what I mean by your will right?"

"I-I think so, something I selfishly want." Willow said proud of herself. She truly was learning this stuff and felt she had something to be proud of. In fact, Anya never failed to tell her how good she was doing and how proud she was of her.

"I'm not perfect by any means. Look what I did to Olaf and I've even cast a spell or two for means of having fun. This isn't recommended either but if you don't do it daily things should be okay. I know I tell you I don't understand all these human things and it's true but I suppose magically getting everything you want in daily life isn't the way to go either though I can't say I don't do it." She kissed Willow readying herself for the bigger explanation, the one that would most likely change their relationship forever.

Willow kissed her putting her arms snugly around her. "An, I know you told me before that love isn't the way to go or something like that but I know I'm falling for you. I hope you care for me for more than just the orgasm thingie."

"Willow," Anya's heart sank. Maybe if she told her she didn't and broke it off this would be so much easier but she knew she couldn't do that. "I love the orgasms and wish you could fit more of them into your schedule but of course I care for you. More than I planned to, more than I thought I ever could as a demon. There is something you need to know though."

Anya looked at Willow more seriously than she probably ever had, it was time for the big moment, the final moment she was certain. "Willow after I tell you this please remember I'm telling you because I care and for that reason I have to be totally honest with you."

Willow began to get a sinking feeling inside. She was certain something bad was about to happen like her being dumped, or something worse if there could be anything worse. "An, I,"

"No let me do this please." Anya cut her off fearing that she wouldn't be able to go through if Willow confirmed the worry she saw in her eyes. "I told you I felt your pain so I came, that is partly true. I also felt your power Willow, it's great and strong. This is why you need to protect it from evil forces such as myself." She hung her head at that admission which gained her a questioning look from Willow. "When I first approached you my and a few others plan was to gain access to the power within you to release our souls from D'Hoffryn and overthrow him. We'd figured out that we were the ones who fed him and made his power so great. Without our souls, he would be simply nothing but a vengeance demon. Powerful of course but not D powerful. This plan in all honesty lasted about ten minutes. Though I kept up the charade with my demon friends and even to myself, I knew from the get go that I couldn't do this to you. I am the great Anyanka Willow and this enraged me that I couldn't continue. I was determined to go through with it all the while knowing I couldn't because as soon as I looked into those big beautiful green eyes something deep inside told me you were the one who'd take Anyanka to her knees and you'd do it with love. You did that Willow, what no one in 1,100 years could do. You defeated the most devoted legendary vengeance demon that ever existed and you did it with love. I love you Willow and if you hate me now or D kills me at least it will end with me having had the pleasure of knowing a special person like you and finding love."

Willow's head swam with emotion, hurt, anger, love, knowing this would happen and so much more. She mentally kicked herself for believing in this demon then thought if she is still lying to me why is she now trying to stop me from going all dark. Tears began to flow down her face like a river as Anya looked at her. "All this magic help was to do what? Strengthen me so you could have my power?"

"No, it was to keep you from being willing to do what I needed you to do. I swear Willow, I don't want to use your power now and I don't want you to ever go into dark magic. I love you Willow but I know you can't forgive what I've done and I don't blame you. I took you to Paris for dinner because I cared, not to show off. We were intimate last night in that Italian villa because I cared not because I was trying tow in you over. Please Willow, you don't have to forgive me but don't hate me." The demon's eyes were pleading and hurt as they looked into Willow's.

At that moment Willow wanted to hold her, kiss her and love her forever but what she'd done was irreprehensible. "I couldn't hate you if I tried Anya but I don't want to see you either." Without a word, the demon was gone and Willow buried herself in the covers and cried herself to a restless sleep, as D'Hoffryn watched awaiting his next move.