Family Counseling

Chapter 1: The Things I Can't Stand About You

Author's Notes: I 'm sorry I didn't finish my other story I just thought I'd write something funny for a change.

**The host of the show is me, Junnie55 but my name in this fic will be Crystal^_~ **

Crystal: Hello everybody and welcome to Family Counseling! Our first guest is the family looked at as being the Osbournes' without all the pets. Let's give a warm welcome to the Mishimas, Kazamas and yes, he's included, Lee Chaolan! (Audience booos)

 (Hiehachi, Kazuya, Jun, Jin, and Lee walk out in that order and take their seats,)

Crystal: So how is everybody doing today?

Hiehachi: Well I have a sore throat after yelling in a argument with Kazuya this morning over breakfast.

Kazuya: Well it's not my fault you asked Lee to cook breakfast you dumbass!

Hiehachi: Well who else is suppose to cook?

Lee: HEY!! My cooking's not that bad!

Kazuya: Oh yeah?! Give me one good reason why the bottle of Pepto-Bismol is empty!

Lee:………..

Crystal: (sweat dropping) Okay, maybe we should move on, next question. Name one person that annoys you the most.

Hiehachi: (looks at Kazuya and then rolls his eyes) I think we all know the answer to that question.

Kazuya: Well I have to say my so called 'father' sitting next to me who's thrown his oldest son off a cliff MORE THAN ONCE!!!

Hiehachi: It was for your own good!

Kazuya: For my own good?! I'll show you 'for my own good!'(Gets up out of the chair about to throw a punch at him when Jun jumped up and grabbed Kazuya's arm)

Jun: Kazuya!! Calm down, besides that was years ago.

Kazuya: You're so lucky I love you. ^_^

Jun: I know. That's why I love you too honey!!(Hugs him and then they somehow started making out right there in front of the audience)

Crystal: Ahem. Ahem. (Clears throat) AHEM! This is rated PG so don't think mean you can just stand there and make out all over my stage.

Jun: (sticks her tongue out at Crystal and sits down accepting what she just said)

Jin: Well now that that little episode of "Sex and the City" is over, I'd like to tell you what I think about a certain someone up here who has left me to be raised by my mother alone for almost more than half of my life. (Just for the record, no I do not watch Sex and the City, I just heard of it.)

Kazuya: I died and had to be resurrected so technically that's not really my fault.

Jun: And what's so bad about being raised by me? What did I do that was so wrong?

Jin: #1.Dad, no one told you had to go to the second tournament and get thrown off a cliff! #2.And Mom, you didn't do anything wrong it's just that I was hoping to be born into a family with two NORMAL parents instead of having one who hates me for no reason and one who is just a little overprotective about their only son.

Jun: Well Jin, I'm soooo sorry if I get worried if my son stays out till at least 2:00 in the morning without even calling me to tell me your okay!

Kazuya: (holds his hand over his mouth trying desperately not to laugh, but obviously failed)

Jun: Oh and I know you're not laughing 'Mr. I don't know how to give my wife a quality anniversary present after not seeing her in more than 10 YEARS!!

Kazuya: I'm sorry Jun, but I tried my best. Besides who needs anniversary presents after all of the ones I gave you before you had Jin?

Jun: (remembers she has a closest full of presents at home) I guess your right. Oh Kazuya I can't stay mad at you forever! (Gives Kazuya a quick kiss on the cheek)

Lee: I can't stand how I'm always being fucking assumed as being gay and I'm not! (Whispers softly to himself) Dammit why did Kazuya have to find out about my situation with Steve! (Remembers how he asked Steve out to a date and got rejected)

Kazuya: Admit it. You're gay and everybody knows it!

Lee: See what I mean? Kazuya, you smart ass, I can't wait till after this show is over so I could whoop your ass!

Kazuya: (bursts out laughing) You? Lee Chaolan, whoop my ass? I'd love to see you try.

Lee: GRRRRRRRRRR…….

Crystal: Okay people, let's move on shall we. Next topic, the deepest and darkest secrets of their love lives!! We'll be right back after these few commercials so don't go anywhere folks, this show shall continue!

Author's Notes:  I don't know if you liked it but I thought it was pretty funny for my first chapter, let me know what you think! (Review please; it'll help me feel better considering I've got no reviews for my other story.) Next Chapter: Is There Room for Love on the Battlefield, is coming soon! See-Ya! ^_~