Family Counseling
Chapter 2: The Deepest and Darkest Secrets of Their Love Lives
Author's Notes: Before I begin writing, I'd like to give a special thank you to anyone who has read my story. I'm dealing with a serious case of writers block so this chapter might be how I would have wanted it to be. Now let the show begin!
(Audience is clapping)
Crystal: Hello and welcome back to Family Counseling. Now we are going to move onto our next topic, the deepest and darkest secrets of their love lives!
Jin: (mumbling to himself) Oh no, this has got to be the worst topic of the day. But then again I can't wait to see the expression on Dad's face once they start asking him all those weird questions. He is going to look so clueless! (Starts laughing quietly)
Crystal: Okay, first question, Hiehachi, just exactly how old are you?
Hiehachi: Well umm…(Clears throat) my hair is naturally grey like Lee's hair so I'm at least 40 years old.
Jin: Yeah right you old fart bag!
Hiehachi: You're so ugly you didn't rob the bank with a gun; you robbed it with your ugly hair! (In a squeaky voice) The hair was saying," Put the money in the bag!"
Jin: Well, you're so fat; you sat on a dollar and made change!
Jun: Must you two argue every single second of the day!
Crystal: Yes please, let's stop this arguing so we can get back to the show. So I suppose everyone's love life is cool, right?
Jun: Our relationship is great! Right, Kazzy?
Kazuya: (Puts his hand over his face in embarrassment) Yeah, sure, whatever.
Lee: (Laughing at Kazuya's embarrassment) you should hear what he calls her.
(Audience starts laughing)
Jun: What? What's wrong with --- (she was cut off)
Kazuya: Just don't say anything. You'll only be making it worse.
Crystal: Hmmm….Kazzy sounds cute! ^_^Anyway, you two are truly in love with each other aren't you?
Jun: Of course; we've been married for at least 19 years.
Kauzya: Can I just skip these questions? I'm not the type of person who likes to talk about these things on television.
Jin: How can you say that when everyone just saw you and Mom about to demonstrate how to celebrate an anniversary if you know what I mean. (Remembers how Kazuya and Jun were kissing on the stage.)
Kazuya: What do you know about anniversaries you little brat!
Jin: I am so sick and tired of you calling me a little brat! You runaway father!
Lee: I don't want to even attempt to try and imagine what THEIR anniversary is like.
Kazuya: Like I said earlier, I died so I have an excuse!
Crystal: Back to the subject guys, so what about you Jin?
Jin: Oh me? I would like to let all of my fans know that I am officially single. (Girls in the crowd cheered loudly)
Hiehachi: Oh gosh, why did he have to be the pretty boy of the family?
Lee: I thought you liked Xiayou, Jin?
Jin: I don't know about her anymore. Her voice gets kind of annoying after a while.
Lee: Well as for me, I'm trying to stay away from relationships for now since I'm still trying to get over something. (Thinks about Steve)
Crystal: Now you al say that you're doing fine with relationships but after what I've seen, maybe someone up here is being a little dishonest and won't admit it.
Jun: What do you mean by," After what I've seen"?
Jin: I hope she isn't thinking what I think she's thinking.
Crystal: Well guess what Jin? It's exactly what I'm thinking!
Jin: Why me?
Crystal: Maybe it's you're lucky day!
Jin: Lucky day my ass.
Crystal: Geez, looks like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Or maybe it was just Lee's cooking.
Jin: (gets up out of his seat and yawns loudly and stretches knocking over a hot cup of coffee onto Jun's white dress from the opening movie of Tekken Tag Tournament, while at the same time making it look like Kazuya did it)
Jun: (screamed and jumped out of the seat) what the hell? What in the hell is wrong with you? (Slapped Kazuya across his cheek and the crowd oooohed and then it became silent)
Kazuya: ……. (Speechless; holds his now temporarily red cheek)
Crystal: Whoa, slow down Jun! Whatever happened to the nice and peaceful Jun just a couple of seconds ago?
Lee: This is what we like to call her devil side.
Kazuya: Hate to say it but I couldn't agree more.
Jun: Well, what do you have to say for yourself?
Kazuya: (tries to help wipe off the top of her shirt) I'm sorry honey but it wasn't me.
Jun: (pushes Kazuya away from her) Will you just stop it!
Crystal: It wasn't? Then who was it?
Jin: …. (Knowing he was going to get caught eventually, he gave up) alright it was me.
Jun: What!! I did not spend 9 months, 17 days, and 45 hours and 27 seconds of labor alone for you to spill burning hot coffee on my beautiful dress on LIVE TELEVISION!!!
Jin: Geez Mom, sorry. Aren't you overreacting a little, I mean it's only a dress anyway.
Lee: Jin just doesn't understand women what so ever. One spot on their clothes and their "absolutely perfect dress" and their ready to explode.
Jun: ONLY A DRESS!! How dare you! I wore this dress for me and Kazuya's first anniversary! You have absolutely no idea how hard it is to clean this do you?
Hiehachi: Well no one told you to wear it Jun.
Jun: Oh shut up you dirty old man!
Crystal: Enough with all the name calling. And as far as Jun's dress, I'm terribly sorry but we have to move on with the show.
Jun: (Sits down calmly) No it's okay, I'll live. It's not the end of the world.
Lee: (mumbling) with the way you were acting it sure did seem like it.
Crystal: Well what I was thinking about was the secret video footage I have received from an anonymous but very generous source. (Looks at Nina) Lights, camera, action!
(Plays video tape)
Jin: Hey what's up Xiaoyu!
Xiayou: Hi Jin! (Gives him a kiss on the cheek then the video stops)
Crystal: "Officially single" huh?
Jin: Well…I…uhhh...me and Xiaoyu are just friends. As a matter of fact, we broke up that night.
Crystal: Really? Well we have another guest who disagrees with you on that subject. Give a round of applause for Jin's "supposed friend", Xiaoyu!
(Xiaoyu stomps on stage)
Xiaoyu: How can you sit up there and lie about such a thing?! You know you love me!
Jin: What? (Says angrily) I have no idea what you're talking about!
Xiaoyu: You know what, me and Mr. Kazama are about to have a serious conversation, we'll be right back!
(Xiaoyu pulls Jin off the stage by his ear)
Jun: (laughing a little) well at least me and Kazuya don't have to worry about things like that.
Crystal: That's not what the video tape says, or is it? (Plays video tape)
Anna: Hey what's up Kazuya? How about me and you can go over my house sometime. (Video stops without showing Kazuya's response)
Jun: Anna, that hoe! (Slapped Kazuya assuming that he slept with her)
Kazuya: I'm sorry Jun, but I didn't—(was cut off when the video tape continued)
Kazuya: I'm sorry Anna, but I committed to Jun. I just couldn't do that to her even if wanted to.
Anna: Jun? Oh that little bitch! I can't stand her! And besides, I never really liked you anyway. (Video stops)
Kazuya: --didn't sleep with her.
Jun: (gasped and held her hand over her mouth looking surprised) Oh, I'm sorry Kazzy. Can you forgive me?
Kazuya: Sure, I understand. (Jun hugs him and gives him a kiss and the audience makes gives applause)
Crystal: Awww, that's so sweet! ^_^ Anyway, let's get a call from one of our fans. (Answers the phone) Hello, who is this and what's your question?
Caller: My name is Amy and I have a question for Kazuya and Jun. How are you able to make out like that and not want to sleep with each other?
Jun: We know how to control ourselves.
Crystal: Hmmm…good question. Speaking of making out, let's take a look at the last piece of our video tape shall we? (plays video tape)
(In this scene of the tape, Jun and Kazuya are making out behind the scenes of Tekken Tag Tounament, and then as soon as Kazuya is about to take Jun's shirt off the video stopped for the last time)
Crystal: Now we couldn't let that continue now could we?
Jun: Hey how'd you get that?
Kazuya: (grins) Oh yeah I remember that day.
Jun: (slapped Kazuya on the back of his head) that's private information!
Lee: (laughs very loudly)
Jun: Oh shut up Lee! At least I know how to cook!
Lee: I was just following orders from that guy. (Points to Hiehachi)
Hiehachi: Hey enough with the criticism I learned my lesson about Lee's cooking.
Jun: I can cook 10 times better than he could ever even dream of! (Jin suddenly appears walking slowly towards his seat with a bandage across is cheek) Jin?
Crystal, Hiehachi, Kazuya, Jun and Lee: What happened to you?
Jin: I tripped and fell backstage.
Crystal: (everyone except for Jin is sweatdropping) Keep telling yourself that. Now the time has come for everyone to confess their deepest and darkest ---(cut off by Kazuya)
Kazuya: Dirtiest, stupidest, craziest, weirdest secr---(cut off by Crystal)
Crystal: Okay Kazuya we get the point.
Hiehachi: I have no secrets because I have no love life.
Jin: Really well how did you have Kazuya as your son? And don't even try to say he's adopted.
Hiehachi: Mind your business!
Lee: Well my secret is that my true hair color is black.
Jin: Yeah right. Anyway my secret is that well now that the whole thing with Xiaoyu is over, I can finally admit that yes, I do have feelings for Julia.
Kazuya: Julia? Well she's not that ugly.
Jun: What about me?
Kazuya: (grinning) you already know how I feel about you.(Jun just laughs and wraps her arm around Kazuya's) oh and before I forget I'd like to say I have no secrets.
Jun: (almost shyly she unwrapped her arm from Kazuya) Well not exactly Kazuya.
Kazuya: (In a concerned voice) what do you mean?
Jun: I don't know how to say this but I…..uhhh….I'm….(in a low voice) pregnant.
Kazuya: (speechless)
Crystal, Jin, Lee, and Hiehachi: Pregnant?
Hiehachi: So that explains the grouchy attitude.
Jun: Yup, I'm sorry for not saying anything but I just couldn't keep the secret any longer.
Jin: (buries his face in his hands) Why must I be cursed with another these people to live with?
Jun: How are you cursed? I'm the one who has to carry the baby for the next 9 months.
Lee: Hey look on the bright side Jin; you could always have someone to boss around.
Jin: (realizing his point) Hey you're not so bad after all Uncle Lee!
Crystal: Now onto the next ques---- (cut off by Jun)
Jun: No more questions!! We have to get a commercial break. I mean you don't honestly believe that I'm going to sit here soaked in coffee do you?
Crystal: Okay I see your point. Well you heard Ms. Kazama; it's time for another commercial break! We'll be right back after this message from our sponsors to talk about what spending the holidays with them are like!
Author's Notes: Well that's it for chapter two! Sorry about the length of this chapter; I didn't expect to have so many ideas. Hope you liked it. And always remember, READ AND REVIEW!! ^_^ until next time……
Next Chapter: Spending the Holidays with the Mishimas, Kazamas, and we still can't forget Choalan!!
~~~Junnie55~~~