Family Counseling

Chapter 4: There's A First Time for Everything!

Authors Notes:

I am extremely sorry for the wait for this chapter but I had some issues to deal with. Now that they're over with I'll continue my writing! Thanks to everyone who waited for this chapter! Now let the show continue! (And always remember, please review the story! This is the last chapter anyway. )

Crystal: Welcome back everyone!

Kazuya: (Mumbling through his teeth) that had to have been the longest commercial break I've seen in my entire lifetime.

Hiehachi: For once, I think I can actually agree with you about that.

Crystal: Anyway the next topic is "There's A First Time for Everything"!

(Everyone else on the stage sighs)

Crystal: Geez, what's with you people and your endless complaining?

Kazuya: Can't help it, it runs in the family.

Heihachi: (Mumbling) Another reason why I threw you off the cliff.

Kazuya: Were you saying something old man?

Heihachi: Oh I wasn't saying anything.

Kazuya: Really?

Heihachi: Stop asking me so many questions so we can continue with the show!

Crystal: Well, like he said, lets continue. For our first question. When was the first time this family started having these problems that we all have seemed to witness?

Heihachi: Ever since he (pointing to Kazuya) was born.

Kazuya: (Sweatdroppoing) I knew he'd say something like that.

Jin: (giggling)

Heihachi: I don't know what you're laughing at; when you were born you continued all this drama.

Jin: Grrrrrr…….. (Glares at Heihachi)

Lee: This family is hopeless.

Jun: Sorry Lee, but I don't even think hopeless is enough to describe it.

Crystal: Now we see there's a terrible conflict here but is there anyone who ever tried to solve it?

Jun: We've tried almost everything.

Heihachi: (Glaring at Jin) Well giving birth to that thing that's staring at me sure didn't help, did it?

Jun: Well, you call throwing your son off a cliff helping to solve anything?

Kazuya: (sighs) here we go again.

Lee: Actually, it solved his problems of having to raise him as a child.

Jun & Heihachi: Nobody asked you anything Lee!

Lee: Well EXCUSE me for stating my opinion.

Crystal: Okay, obviously these questions are only making things worse….

Jin: Well that's all you can expect from a family like this.

Crystal: Well, I have another question. When was the first time anyone in this family told a lie?

Jun: ………

Kazuya: …………..

Jin: ………….

Lee: ……….

Heiahchi: I never told a lie.

Kazuya: How dare you say such a thing?

Heihachi: I've been completely honest with you people. Otherwise I wouldn't be telling you I hate you so much all the time!

Kazuya: Well, you lie about your age all the time! Although I don't understand why. You look older than you actually are anyway.

Heihachi: Grrr…..

Crystal: (Ignoring the arguing on stage, she just sighs and lays her head down on her desk.) I should've never taken this job.

Lee: Well how about, when was the first time anyone ever said anything nice to me?

Kazuya: Who knows? But that's a good question.

Jin: Yeah but we all know the answer to that question.

Lee: and what would that be?

Jin: Nobody has said anything nice to you. You would've figured that in all the years of your life, you would've noticed that no one really cares too much about you.

Lee: Why not?

Jin: Because they care about me the most. I'm the star of this family! (Cheesy smile)

Kazuya: You may be the so-called star of the family but I'm still the star of Tekken.

Crystal: (Mumbling angrily) not that again.

Jin: Whatever, who cares anyway.

Jun: Here's a question—

Crystal: (with a HUGE attitude) Oh great! Now everyone wants to ask questions! That's supposed to be my job! (says sneakily) Unless……anyone up here wants to be a host for the rest of this show?

Kazuya: I couldn't picture myself being a host.

Crystal: Well then fine. Let me ask all the questions here and everything will go as planned so you crazy people can go home and I can get another job!

Jun: (Whispering to Jin) Looks like she's the one who needs the counseling now.

Jin: (Just nods his head approvingly)

Crystal: (sighs) Now that I've gotten that fixed, how about another question?

Heihachi: (sarcastically) Sure everyone loves questions.

Crystal: (also being sarcastic) yeah and everyone loved your outfit at the fourth tournament.

Heihachi: Which one?

Crystal: You know which one I'm talking about.

Jin: I get a weird feeling any time anyone even mentions that outfit.

Heihachi: Actually I don't know what you're talking about.

Crystal: How could you possibly forge—anyway before I take that too far. For the next part of the show, I'll be taking a few calls from some of the fans! (Audience cheers)

Crystal: Okay, for our first caller, what's your name and what is your question for us today?

Caller#1: My name is Lei Wu--umm…(pathetically attempts to disguise his voice) well actually I'd rather not say my name. My question is when will Jun realize that she should be with a great fighter like Lei Wulong instead of that pathetic Kazuya?!

Jun: Okay Mr. So-called caller #1, I hope you don't seriously think I would leave Kazuya for Lei, I just don't think that would ever happen, sorry.

Caller#1(Lei): But WHY NOT? Lei is the coolest fighter in Tekken!

Heihachi:…..(Suddenly laughs outrageously loud)

Jun: Lei is a nice person, but I'd rather be with Kazuya.

Crystal: Well that was a nice part of the show even though it was a little off the topic. Anyway, let's go to the next caller!

Caller#1: Hey wait I wasn't finished talki--(crystal hangs up the phone on "Caller #1")

Crystal: Okay, like I said, hello Caller #2, what's your name?

Caller#2: (Xiayou's voice on the phone) When was the first time Jin said he loved me (coughed)---sorry I ment Xiayou?

Jin: No comment….

Caller #2(Xiayou): NO COMMENT! What do you mean "No comment"? I demand that you answer my question! Pwetty Pwease?

Jin: (Quickly hangs up the phone before Crystal could say anything to the "Caller") Like I said, no comment.

Crystal: Oookay….onto our next and final caller, hello, you're lucky Caller #3!

Caller#3: What makes me so lucky? Do I when I prize or something?

Crystal: Well sorry to disappoint you, but no you don't win anything. I just said lucky to make it seem more interesting. But what's you're question?

Caller#3: I'd like to ask, will there ever be a first time this family has a moment of peace with each other?

Crystal: Asking for that is impossible…

Jun: It would be nice if something like that happened but it would so weird.

Jin: Yeah, our house would be so boring.

Lee: I'd have to agree with Jin and Jun. Do you have any idea how funny it is to just sit there and listen to their pathetic arguments around the house?

Kazuya: Yeah but those arguments aren't so pathetic when their about you, now are they Lee?!

Lee:….

Crystal: Well, I guess that's all folks! Anything you'd want to say before we end this show?

Hiehachi: I'm the coolest Mishima! (mumbles) Kazuya is such a loser…

Kazuya: You are nowhere near cool, however on the other hand, I'm what you would call cool! (evil laugh)

Jin: (Sighs) One last thing I would say is to anyone who's watching this show, don't believe anything Xiayou tells you about me!

Xiayou(backstage): Hey! I'm not a liar!

Jun: I'd like to say this was one of the weirdest shows I've ever been on.

Lee: That's because we were in it.

Crystal: And that is the finale of Final Counseling! I can finally get a new job and this crazy family can finally go home, See ya!

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Well, I have finally completed the story!! Now I can finally finish up my other stories! This story has been very fun to write, and I'd like to say thank you to every one who has ever reviewed any of my chapters. Your reviews inspire me to continue writing!

Until next time, see ya!

Lala J.