Disclaimer: J.K.R. owns Harry Potter and co., not me (I wouldn't mind owning Sev though).  This story is slightly (basically bits of the plot ideas; just technical stuff) inspired by Minnionette's A Gutter Rat's Tale and Dauphin's Let History Repeat Itself.  Niamh O'Feir, Jardin, Mika Davids, Darcorn's, and anything you don't recognize belong to me.

Not Myself by Saerry Snape

Chapter 136 – Angry Conversations

"Where 'ave ye been?" demanded Harry angrily.  He rose from his father's chair and slammed his hands down on the oak desk, glaring at the older wizard.  "Ah've needed ye."

"I had something I had to do," replied Severus calmly.

"Somethin' more important than me?"

"It was about you."

Ah feel so loved," growled Harry.

Severus frowned and said, "Harry, I had to go.  It was something I could not pass by."

"Oh really…  An' where exactly did ye go?"

"You know that the High Elves left the mortal world centuries ago, correct?"

"Yeh, three 'undred years after tha Gaun'let was made."

"Indeed," said Severus.  "The High King of the time, Shamma Ardwith – the very last High King – used every last ounce of his magic to create a separate plane of existence for his people.  The effort killed him and his grand-daughter, Sheen Ardwith, became Queen of the Elves.  She is our cousin, Harry, and she is who I went to see."

"Cousin?"

"Her great-grandfather, Malfien Ardwith, is the younger brother of Maylayne Ardwith, the wife of Tirades Snape.  His twin brother Tarven was the first and last mortal to wear the Gauntlet."

"Tha still does'n tell me why ye lef'," said Harry, sinking back down into desk chair.

Severus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose again.

"Harry…" he mumbled.  "You don't understand the significance of what's happening.  Its all tied together."

"Pardon?"

"All of this.  The Gauntlet of Aerilsed only came here because Voldemort took someone very important from Sheen.  She told him where to find it."

"Who?" asked Harry.  "Who cou' make 'er do somethin' li' tha?"

"Her lover, Amadeus Sedwick," replied Severus.  "He has been with her for almost thirty years now.  From what I gathered from speaking to her counselor Edrin, he was coming to visit his great-nephew when he was kidnapped."

"Nephew?"

"His real name is Reginald Sedwick.  You know him as Remus Lupin."

"Professor Lupin?" exclaimed Harry.

"Yes."

"An' she di' wha?  Attempted to ma' a bargain wi' Voldemort?  The Gaun'let fer this Amadeus?"

Severus nodded.

"That is exactly what she intended.  If she had but came to me, I could have helped her.  I could have gotten him back for her."

"Wha are ye talkin' abou?  Ye nearly goh killed tha las' time ye wen' near Voldemort!"

"I know how it feels to have someone you love in danger.  I know how she feels."

"An' ye'd 'ave gone if she'd asked?" said Harry, leaning forward.  "Ye'd 'ave gone ba' there an' probably got yerself killed."

"I'd save Amadeus."

"AN' LEAVE ME AN ORPHAN AGAIN!" screamed Harry, rising to his feet.  "Is tha wha' ye wan'?  Do ye na wan' me?  Did ye ever?"

"Harry, how can you say that?" asked Severus, horror in his eyes.  "You're my son.  I love you."

Harry scowled and snapped, "'Ow can ye say tha when ye jus' admitted tha ye'd die ter save a man?  Tha ye'd leave me alone, wi' nobody ter take care o' me but those damned Dursley's!  Damn ye!"

"Harry!"

"DAMN YE!" shouted Harry, slamming his fist down on the desk.  "If ye wan' ter give yer life away, go on an do i!  Go ter Voldemort now an' le' him do i'!  Ah doan care!"

Harry walked around the desk and shoved past his father to the door.  Severus caught him by the arm and said, "Harry, I would only risk my life for something if I thought it was a good cause.  Amadeus is the last piece of Lupin's family."

"Ye never cared abou' 'im before," muttered Harry.  "Why now?"

"Sheen loves him.  I can't bear to see those I love hurt."

"Really?" said Harry.  He turned a fierce gaze on his father, unmindful that his eyes were completely black in reaction to the rage rushing through him.  "Well then ye mus' be breakin' apart righ' now."

Severus saw the black eyes and breathed, "Tethdaìr…lai Istveil, yyet att bran."

"Wha' are ye talkin' abou?" snarled Harry

"The Tethdaìr," replied Severus.  "The Warrior Elves.  Endowed with the innate ability to fight and with the magicks of destruction.  When angered, they are at their worst and those around them know it."

Severus broke off and looked deep into his son's dark eyes.

"Because their eyes turn as black as the deepest night," finished Severus.

Harry jerked back in shock, his eyes flashing green for a half-second before returning to black.  He then jerked his arm away from his father and snapped, "Ye cou' 'ave tol' me this earlier!"

"I didn't know!" shouted Severus.  "You never told me anything about your friend Tyls' death.  You never told me that you killed a man!  I'M YOUR FATHER, DAMNIT!  I SHOULD KNOW THESE THINGS!"

"Ah though' ye understood!" bellowed Harry back.  "I COULDN'T!  I WAS TOO AFRAID!"

Severus gaped in shock.  "You know I would never turn you away," he whispered in a fierce voice.  "You're my son.    You are the embodiment of what your mother and I had.  And your early years were far too much like my own for me to just turn you away.  We're street rats both, you and I."

"Ah can' take this," whispered Harry.  "Ah-Ah 'ave ter go."

Severus just nodded and Harry left.  He let him go.

The Potions Master sagged against his desk before he lifted his head to stare out the window at the sky.

"Are you watching now, Lily?" he whispered.  "What sort of father am I?"

"Severus?"

The dark-head turned and he saw Rebecca Figg (who was the first Defense teacher to manage to hang on for more than a year) standing there.  She tilted her golden head to the side and stared at him with those amber eyes that seemed to see through him, even when his best mask was on.

"What happened?  Harry just blew past me in the hallway and his eyes…"

"I know," whispered Severus.  "He's one of the Tethdaìr, Becca.  My son – my son – is one of the most feared creatures that has ever existed upon this world and I don't know why."

Rebecca frowned and closed the door to his office.  The moment the lock clicked shut, she crossed the room and gently pulled the dark-haired man into her arms.  He was still for a moment before he wrapped his arms about her as well.

"It will be alright," she whispered into his ear.  "I swear it will."

"No, my dear friend," said Severus.  "I fear that it shall never be quite the same again.  Never, ever, ever…"

Rebecca just frowned and held her old friend close, wishing that his and his son's lives were not as screwed with by other people as they were.

Translations

Lai Istveil, yyet att bran. – Elven for "By Heaven, you are one"