Giving Up Isn't an Option

Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I only own the plot and characters that obviously don't belong to the books. 'Uncle Snape' is Slytherin Girl's idea and I have permission to use it,

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Previously:

"Granger, you should've trusted that promise because its one that I never intend to break and it's the biggest promise that you can make to another person. And there's no way you'll never admit to weakness, much like someone else I know. There's only one thing that will kill you, you know what that is?"

Hermione shook her head but she was pretty sure of the answer. She had almost always known this answer. It was her greatest weakness, her only fear.

"Granger, its you. No one will kill you, you will kill you. You know it too. I can see that glint in your eyes. The only thing that you've never been able to hide from those who seek it. Hermione, make sure that you deal with it. Your not invincible, but you seem to think that. Make sure that you know what you just got yourself into. That you know what you just did with you life, that of which was handed to you to live. The life that was saved by others risking their lives.

"The other two seemed to have grasped that and they got over all that pain, but you insist on holding onto it. You don't seem to have a firm grasp on that. And know that you'll be your own undoing" with that he apparated out and landed in his room, 6 floors up.

Hermione stood for several minutes, completely still and shocked at what had just been said to her. She knew that she, herself, was what would kill her. She also knew that everything he had said was true.

It was at that moment that a full realization of what she had done hit her. She had betrayed everyone that cared about her. She had screwed over every relationship that she had ever had. Well, maybe not all, but most. She had been the one to break it off or turn her back, not the other way around.

She apparated up to her room to try and sleep. How she knew where the room was, one will never know. But once changed and in bed, she lay there. She willed sleep to come and take her into a world that wasn't reality. But it wouldn't, it refused to come.

After hours of tossing and turning, sleep finally came. The last thought that ran through her head was Oh my god. What have I done?

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Dreams haunted her that night. No, not dreams. More like memories that she didn't wish to remember but couldn't forget. The ones of fights and beatings always surrounded her in her sleep, but not that night. These were all of happy times. Times with Harry and Ron. With Draco, Blaise and Justin. And with Padma and Ginny.

These were the ones that disturbed her the most. They were much better forgotten in her opinion. She wished to forget all those times. They represented a past that she didn't wish to have. Things should've been perfect then. If things had gone like they were supposed to then she would've never gotten along with Malfoy or Blaise. She would've never gotten rid of Harry and Ron because they were so thick headed. But that would've been in a perfect world. A world that doesn't exist.

The last dream to haunt her that evening was of Graduation day…

"… We've experienced times here like none other. Times that can never be replaced. Events have taken place, some much better forgotten but I promise that nothing will compare to these times" Hermione paused as she looked around the room. The many faces all watched her, waiting for her to continue. Hermione paused when her chocolate eyes met an icy gaze.

She shook her head slightly before continuing, "I made some amazing friends and huge enemies here. I broke friendships too. The ones that stay, the ones that go and the ones that I say good bye too as I leave are not the ones that I expected 7 years ago, or even a year ago/ But that's all in the past. Its no more. As much as I would love to be able to return here next year, I have to admit, I'm going to enjoy leaving. Leaving behind all the homework and text books that I could probably still recite word-for-word.

"I've been the top of our year since I came here, but that's just the way I am. Really, its sad that all that time was spent studying for subjects that I'll probably never use again. But I'm excited to get out of here and start a new job. One thing I'm looking forward to is keeping many of the bonds that I created while I was here. I will miss all of you that I don't keep in touch with and I will miss every single teacher here. Anyway, I believe I've droned on long enough. I wish you all luck, and now the Head Boy has a few words for you." Hermione walked off the stage, careful to avoid Draco. Almost everything she had said had been a lie or half-truth.

Draco waited for Hermione to take her seat before he started. "I have no idea what to say. In all honesty I completely forgot about this stupid speech. What I can say is that I have no idea where to go once I leave the confines of this school. Come next September first, I'll be at a loss for what to do. I mean, this has been life for the last 7 years of each and every one of our lives. For some it was a place of joy and for others it was a place they wished they could've avoided. But its not possible. To avoid here I mean. I guarentee that each of you will return here in the next couple of years, just for the comfort of being here" Draco stopped to take a breath when Blaise caught his eye. There was something wrong with Blaise. He was one of the most emotionally controlled people that Draco knew, and here he was having trouble with the emotions that were showing so plainly in his eyes.

Draco looked away. He couldn't look anyone right in the eye right now. "Like the Head girl said, we've all developed friendships her that will last a life time. Or we think they will. You cant predict the future though, and even if you could I wouldn't want to know. I want to be surprised by what life throws in my direction. I will miss most things about here, but I wont regret a single moment. I wont regret every moment that I fucked up" he received several glares here, "messed up then. I had the best time here, and all I really want to do now is give you a piece of advice: No matter how much you want to, honour what you say and stick to it. Promises are set for reasons and that reason isn't so that it can be broken"

With that said he just walked off the stage. He took his seat and was listening to someone speak when an ear splitting scream rang through the hall. His eyes traveled over the crowd to see Blaise on the floor.

Hermione watched in horror from across the hall. She didn't know what it was but she was terrified. Blaise couldn't be hurt and he sure as hell had better not die. She looked up only to meet Draco's eyes again. Worry flashed though them. Draco was scared.

Hermione looked back at Blaise, but no matter how scared this made her, there was no way she could go see him. She took one last look around and when she saw all eyes on Blaise she decided to run…

…Hermione's scream rang through the room. She sat bolt up right in her bed. She didn't know why it had scared her so much, but that memory hadn't made its way back to her since that day. She knew now what had caused it. Had always known really. It had been her. Her pain.

She couldn't figure out where that had come from though. It had no place in her mind. She had banished it from the crevices of her mind years ago. She reached up to her necked for the one comfort that always calmed her only to find it was gone.

She had gotten rid of it. Rid of her comfort. She was tempted to run and demand that she have it back, but she didn't. She couldn't bring herself to do it. She paced her room for the remainder of the night, not being able to sleep anymore.

Though she had had only 3 hours sleep, it felt like much longer. She had energy now and she had no way to relieve it.

Not knowing what to do, she got up and left her room. She wandered the halls for what felt like hours before she found a door with a light shining in the crack between the floor and the door. She didn't care where she was or how dangerous it was to walk into a room in this house.

She cracked open the door and peeked inside. There was a guy in there and she had never been more relieved in her life to see him.

Blaise looked up from the book that he was reading when he saw the door open. He was surprised, to say the least, when he noticed Hermione standing at the door.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he questioned, noticing the look on her face.

Hermione smiled a little. "Nothing. I just…"

"None of that. There's something wrong with you and I know it. Now come here, and talk to me. You know you can trust me" Blaise put his book down ad moved over so Hermione could sit beside him.

"Haven't you ever heard of sleeping?" Hermione asked, moving to sit on the bed.

"Yeah, but you should know that a true Slytherin never sleeps" he smirked a little when he saw her eyes light up.

"What, afraid of someone putting a knife in your back?"

"You've always done that haven't you?" he shook his head. "Countered an uncomfortable situation with sarcasm. You don't have to you know. Just tell me what wrong"

That's when Hermione did the last thing that he had expected. Well, from her anyway. She burst into tears. Real tears. Tears that had built up over the last few years, tears that had remained unshed until this moment.

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Draco woke up to the sound of an ear splitting scram. He recognized it almost instantly as Hermione's. He wanted nothing more than to run to her and help her. Go and make sure that she was alright. But he couldn't. She had made that all quite clear. She had told him basically point blank that she wanted absolutely nothing to do with him.

Draco wrapped his fingers around the cool metal rings that hung around his neck. What had he done? Why had he messed things up so bad? There was no way on this earth to fix this. Any of this.

He knew that she still loved him, or he was pretty positive anyway. After tonight though, he wasn't so sure. What he saw when he looked at her was an empty shell of what used to be Hermione Granger.

What was there was a non-feeling, cold hearted thing. It want her. She had fallen back unto what she thought was her best way of keeping the world out. Keeping the people around her from knowing that something was wrong.

Finally, sun started to shine through his window, breaking him out of his trance. Like everyone else in Slytherin, he tended to wake a dawn. That's if they ever fell asleep the previous night.

He got up, showered and dressed and was heading to breakfast when he saw Blaise's door open out of the corner of his eye. He turned to see Hermione place a small kiss on his cheek and hear her say "Thanks Blaise. You have no idea how much I needed that"

Hermione froze when she saw Draco, not knowing what to do. He had that look in his eyes. That look he got when he didn't know what to think but she could tell what conclusion he was coming to.

"Malfoy, I know what your thinking…" Blaise started, trying to explain something that he shouldn't have to explain in the first place.

"Oh do you? And you know me so well" Draco was falling back onto the cool, cold persona that he had been taught to use at an early age.

"Malfoy, you know I would never do that"

"Like hell you wouldn't! You dealt with everything just fine. You had a perfect life, well perfect compared to mine. You have no decency as it is. You hated me. The only reason we hung out for years was because we shared the same house name and history. Sure we became friends, after a time. But you always jumped at any chance to take what I had…"

"Don't even go there. Don't you dare finish that speech of yours. I did that once and I confessed. I didn't have to but I did. That's how bad I felt about the whole situation. I promised I would never do that to you again and I wont" Blaise yelled

"Yeah right! I have no reason to trust you. And I don't trust you. And what else was I supposed to think here anyway. And you did have to confess. I caught you! If that's not means to confess, then I don't know what is"

"You can trust me here. You know that. Like you, I already love someone"

Hermione watched the two of them go back and forth like this forth about ten minutes. She was stunned. She hadn't expected to see Draco there and she certainly hadn't expected him to react like that. Well, okay she had, but that was besides the point.

"Okay. Both of you! Shut the fuck up! God, your acting like freaking two year olds!" Both boys stopped and starred at her as she continued yelling. "That's was in fourth year Malfoy, so give it up and stop throwing that in his face. And Zambini, you know that he was right and that you had no choice but to confess. But think about this Malfoy, would he have done all this if he wasn't trust worthy? And Zambini, would Malfoy have stood up for you all those times over the years if he didn't trust you? I know that you have jealousy problems and everything, but you have to grow up and get over it. Blaise, I know that you love her and that she still loves you but there's nothing you can do about it now. And Malfoy, I know you still love me. But remember one thing next time you see something like this. I love you too" With that she walked away, what she said not truly sinking in until she entered her room.

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I know I know! It's been way over a month but I've been busy! Anyway, I'm on a long weekend (5 days to be exact) so I should get one more chapter out. I've been suffering from writer's block too, so the gaps between updates may be a little bigger yet again, but they should be faster than this last one.

I'm in need of one more beta for both stories! and as always email updates are available.

Thanks to all loyal readers and reviewers! Reviews are very much appreciated!

L&H

Pure Mudblood