Title: Staying Strong

Author: Canne

Disclaimer: Ha ha ha. Oh that's funny. Yeah. Definitely not mine.

Spoilers: Season Five, up to and including the spoilers for "Memorial Day"

Summary: While in Germany at Donna's bedside Josh tries to keep things together.

A/N: This is my first West Wing fic and my first fic ever with dialogue. Any response would be greatly appreciated and if anyone has ideas about a suitable title for the work please share! The only way I'll improve is through criticism, so feel free to be as harsh as you feel is necessary.

Josh can see his hands shaking as he pulls his ringing cell phone out of his bag, but he can't feel them. He hasn't slept eaten in over twenty hours and hasn't slept since God knows when. Donna should be yelling at him to take care of himself, but instead she's unconscious, her alabaster skin the colour of talcum powder, the only colour coming from the lacerations peppering her face.

"Hello?" Josh repeats the word several times before he actually makes an audible sound. The constricted feeling that's been building up in his chest even since his pager went this morning has made its way into his throat.

"Josh, are you in Germany?" Leo's voice on the other end of the line reminds Josh of how quickly the entire day (is it days now?) has gone.

"Yeah, um...I'm sorry I didn't...I should've talked to you..." Josh knows that he's bordering on babbling but he can't stop, because if he stops he'll start...something. And Josh knows that something, once it starts, won't stop. If Donna saw him like this...but that's the problem, isn't it?

Leo interrupts Josh's rambling, "Josh, it's okay. I told you before, we understand, we were just...worried." Josh knows what worried means, it means 'worried that you might have decided to jump into the Potomac', 'worried that you might have put your hand through another window', 'worried that you've gone off the deep end.'

"She had surgery, her lung, it collapsed and they put a metal rod in her leg."

"Well that'll be hell getting through security every morning." Josh knows that Leo's making a joke but Josh can't laugh.

"Leo, she's so pale. I don't...what if she doesn't...I never..."

"Josh, stop it. Donna will be fine. She tougher than anyone I've ever met. You just have to be strong for her." The tears that have been welling up in his eyes all day are threatening to escape once again. He wishes his father was still alive, he loves Leo like a father but Leo's his boss. Cry over the phone to your boss who's an ocean away is not something Josh is comfortable doing, but right now it's a real possibility.

"How? She's strong for me. I can't..." Josh's voice is cut off as sobs take over his body. He doesn't bother to try and be quiet, there's no one to hear him other than Leo, and Donna is still unconscious. He hasn't cried like this since...ever. When his father died it wasn't as traumatising, he had been dying and Josh had been able to prepare himself. But how do you prepare for something like this?

Leo waits the six minutes it takes for Josh to stop before he talks again. "She's going to be okay kid. You'll both be okay." His voice is quiet, subdued. "Have you called her parents since you got there? I know the President wants to phone them, so if you're not up to it I'm sure he'd be more than happy to."

"No, I, uh, haven't, I didn't remember to. I talked to them back in D.C. They don't even know that she's stable. I should've called them hours ago."

"Josh it's fine. I'll have Margaret phone them right now. What should she tell them?"

"Just that Donna's stable, that her lung collapsed but everything's okay and that she had several compound fractures in her femur but they inserted a metal rod in her leg. She's unconscious now but the doctor thinks she'll regain consciousness soon. They're still worried about blood clotting though...Did you get all that?"

"Yes." Margaret's voice answers over Leo's speakerphone. He can tell she wants to say something more, something personal but he also knows that Leo's shooting daggers at her, shooing her out of the room.

"The Moss' will probably want to come out there, you know. I'll have Margaret book them tickets and then phone you with their flight information. Are you going to be able to deal with them once they get there?"

"I don't know." Josh answers honestly. He feels so lost, so alone. Without work and without Donna, he doesn't have anything.

"Is there anyone else we should contact? A roommate, friends?"

"Umm, her roommate Carrie, and there are a couple of people on the Hill: Marge and Steve in Chris Wick's office for sure. And I guess Ainsley Hayes. And Sam, someone should call Sam."

"Yeah, okay, we'll get in touch with all of them. What about you? Do you need Margaret to book you a hotel, and maybe have someone at the consulate pick up some clothes and stuff for you?"

"No, I'll just stay here until the Moss' come. It'll be fine Leo." The lump in Josh's throat warns that everything isn't fine, that nothing can be right anymore but Leo has more important things to worry about than an unstable DCOS.

"Take care of yourself Joshua. We'll be here if you need anything." Josh hangs up without answering. Donna's monitors have started beeping at an alarming rate and Josh can feel his own heart racing. Before he can even lift himself out of his seat doctors and nurse have flooded the room, pushing him into the background, and surrounding Donna's bedside.

As the assembled staff rushes her out of the room the only thing he catches are the two words that they are all repeating: pulmonary embolism.
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