As Legolas and Saromon were talking, and the fangirls nearly at the door frame, a third rider approached. He wore snow white robes that gleamed magnificently in the sunlight, and rode a dazzling white horse that seemed to glow with subtle power and purity. The rider saw the horde of strangely dressed girls at the steps of the tower, just about to storm the room within. He held aloft his staff and from it shown a white light that suddenly calmed the girls. In fact, it put them into a deep slumber.

"Legolas, Aragorn." The rider said with grave concern as he entered the tower ruins.

"Gandalf! What brings you here in the middle of our interrogation?" Aragorn asked.

"There have been disturbing activities arising in the lands." He replied grimly.

"What, pray tell?"

"Mysterious vortexes have been appearing all about Middle Earth."

"Aragorn and I have seen one." Legolas said, hands full of Saromon's grubby robes, Saromon, still in them. "In Mirkwood."

"Well, there are two others. One in the Shire. Poor Merry and Pippin. Its all they can do to lock them selves in the Brandybuck House."

Both Aragorn and Legolas exchanged grim looks.

"The other, I'm afraid, is in Gondor, at Minas Tirith." Gandolf continued, looking at Aragorn with great sympathy.

"My homeland and kingdom." Aragorn mourned.

"Yes," Gandalf continued. "I have found, by looking over a great many of the books and scrolls within the library therein, a means to an end for this foolish madness. It was by great fortune I could go in there at all. So many of these "fangirls" were about roaming the streets. Fortunately, they seemed not interested in my company,. I have henceforth discovered there is but one way to reverse the effects of the vortex. Each of these strange girls, that came from within, must each be given a kiss on the cheek.

"WHAT!" Both Aragorn and Legolas shouted at the same time, then turned their anger upon the hagard form of Saromon before them.

"SAROMON YOU SHALL PAY!" Legolas hollered, fire burning in his cool blue eyes. His grip on Saromon's robes tightened with malice.

"AND AFTER LEGOLAS IS DONE I SHALL INFLICT MY OWN PUNISHMENT!" Aragorn added with equal spite.

"There is no time for that now. The fangirls are reeking havoc on our dear friends as we speak. Go and undo this terrible deed." Gandalf said.

Reluctantly, Legolas threw Saromon aside rather indigently. "I'll have my vengeance upon you, you wretch. Rest assured.

Saromon seemed to relax a bit now that he wasn't within an inch of the Elf's angry face.

"I wouldn't dare to be too content if I were you, Saromon. Elves can be quite deadly when they are angered". Aragorn smirked.

He and Aragorn then both reluctantly left the tower and mounted there steeds. As the were riding off, they heard Gandolf call to them from the steps of the tower.

"As for our friend here," Gandalf smiled mischievously, turning his gaze on the wizard sprawled before him on the floor. "I shall find some means of entertainment. I wouldn't want to be a bad guest within his home."

Saromon, looking rather panicked, stumbled to the door and yelled after the two riders, both of which were grinning with delight. "You cannot just leave me here with the likes of him! I lack my full power with which to defend myself now!"

Neither rider turned around and came back.

"Okay, Legolas, let us first tend to the fangirls chasing our tails," Aragorn said after they had ridden a while. He pointed to the horde of fangirls that had awakened at the sound of there departure and taken to running after them. "When that is well and done, we must part ways. You shall go to the Shire and rescue Merry and Pippin. I shall see to my kingdom, and rid it of this fangirl plague. Soon we shall straighten out this mess."

"Fine." Legolas said with great reluctance. He honestly wasn't looking forward to what he had to do, though he would do it to see to it that his friends wouldn't suffer. He must rid the lands of these "fangirls" or no one would be at peace.

"Right." Aragorn said with equal reluctance as he and Legolas stopped their steeds. "Let this mess be dealt with swiftly and without bloodshed"

Both dismounted, and ran towards the screaming mob. Instead of drawing weapons to battle, both began to kiss the girls on there cheeks. To their complete and utter surprise, as they kissed each fan girl, they disappeared in a puff of blue-grey smoke.

"I have kissed 21 girls!" Aragorn said.

"And I, 132." Legolas said wearily after kissing two more girls, "It seams as if they prefer me over you."

"Hold your tongue, Elf." Aragorn snapped as he kissed another fan girl.

Finally after an exhaustive afternoon the horde had dwindled down to one last fangirl. As Legolas kissed her and she disappeared, the vortex in Mirkwood shuddered, gave an almighty groan, and shrank to nothing with a single loud "POP". Of course, Aragorn couldn't see this, but with Legolas elven eyes, he saw vortex disappear off in the distance.

"It is done. The vortex in Mirkwood is no more." Legolas informed Aragorn.

The two, exhausted from their ordeal, settled into the field for the night.

"Could my lips be any sorer?" Inquired the Elf, touching his mouth gingerly.

"I could arrange for that, dear friend, if that suits you?", replied an extremely annoyed Aragorn.

"What, pray tell, would Arwen say upon hearing that?" Legolas quipped.

"Silence!" Aragorn retorted, even grumpier than before.