After every major battle, Luffy and Zoro would rush to the Going Merry to make passionate loooooove in the cockpit (teehee! "cockpit"). Zoro would push his captain up against the wall (and occasionally a door if he was in the mood for a little "spice") and then CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED him. Those damn FCC bastards!
And everything was going fine, really. No conflicts at all. But where's the fun in that, I ask you?
So I'm gonna throw in a dash of "impossible" and a pinch of "what-the-hell?!" if you don't mind.
One day, as the crew was sailing the all around blueness of Grandline, they came across an unexpected visitor.
"Well, that's one heck of an unexpected visitor!" Usopp yelled from the crow's nest. It was his shift to be look-out, and imagine his surprise when, as he was innocently making up fabulous lies to tell Chopper, Mihawk appeared on the horizon. In his itty bitty boat. With his feather hat. And huge black sword (which, when you think about it, must be compensating for something).
"Who is it Usopp?" Nami shouted back up to him as Luffy stretched an arm up to the top of the mast and popped himself into the crow's nest.
"It's that guy….from that time…during the thing with the place!" Luffy exclaimed, excited. A fight was gonna happen, surely!
"Hawk Eyes Mihawk!" Usopp clarified.
Zoro started. Hawk Eyes? Here? Now?!
Mihawk jumped up onto the deck, cape billowing. "Hello boyth!" He said flamboyantly with THE most glaringly obvious lisp the world had yet to be subjected to. "Tho good to thee you again!"
He sure looked like Mihawk. He was definitely dressed as Mihawk. But something was wrong…He was completely, totally, and humiliatingly out-of-character. Whoopee! Time for some fun!
"Mihawk…wh-what happened to your coolness?" Sanji said, stunned. He'd been almost as cool as Sanji himself!
"What? Oh, that. Well, when I met you, I had a really big audienth. Now that it'th jutht friendth, I can be mythelf!"
"You know, his new persona sure matches his outfit, unlike before…" Usopp muttered under his breath. Nami, Chopper, and Nico Robin didn't say anything. They'd never met the man, though they'd heard about him from the others over the kitchen table. Usopp had insisted that he'd "scared him off," but nobody listened to him. Except Chopper, of course.
"Mihawk, you really should 'be yourself' more often. It would completely throw off any enemy you wanted to fight," Sanji remarked with a smirk.
"Yeth, but it would ruin my badatth reputation! And it doesn't hurt my sex life either…"
Suddenly, Mihawk dropped back into his smooth, serious attitude. He walked over to Zoro and said seductively, "Ah…the promising young swordsman. You have gotten stronger…much stronger. But not enough to make me a good challenge. Perhaps we might continue our previous business another time?" At this point, he was seriously invading Zoro's "personal bubble." Strangely, though, Zoro didn't seem to mind…he was almost blushing, come to think of it…
He hadn't realized before that Mihawk was so….tall.
Then Zoro straightened up. "I agree. This ship is too small anyway. And I'd rather not break it." Yes, the ship was much too small…little crowded in fact. Was it getting hot, or was it just him?
For some reason, this fact didn't seem to be bothering Luffy all that much. In fact, he was already in his "shadows covering my eyes I'm about to open up a can of whoop-ass" phase of getting serious. Chopper and Usopp were easing away from him, looking anxious.
"Um…Luffy?" Nami said rather timidly(whoa! More out of character-ness!), "You okay?" No answer. "Maybe you should…go have a snack! Sanji! Go cook something for Luffy!"
"Yes Nami-san!" Sanji said with as little schmoozing as possible, understanding the dangerousness of the situation. Damn! They needed a bigger boat!
Luffy seemed torn. Go to the kitchen and eat….or kick some major ass? In the end, Mihawk made the decision for him by stepping out of Zoro's range and saying, "Food? Thoundth good, I'm thtarving!"
It was really amazing how fast the Love Cook could…well….cook, when the situation called for it. He had them sitting around the kitchen table, munching on snacks in 2 minutes flat.
Unfortunately, the problem wouldn't seem to just go away. Mihawk was sitting next to Zoro at the table, subtly leaning toward him. Hey, sailing alone for a few weeks on a tiny raft could really get you down! Who wouldn't want to get some….friendship? At the time however, Luffy was concentrating on food and had no room in his mind for anything else.
But the captain noticed in the next few days, oh yes. Mihawk stuck to Zoro like Nami to her treasure. During a casual conversation, a brush of the shoulder, a press of the thigh. And every time Luffy noticed, he'd get more than eager to start a fight---but then someone would always interrupt and suggest a bite to eat. They simply couldn't let anyone fight Mihawk --- The Going Merry would surely be destroyed, and they were sailing in the middle of nowhere! Luffy, Chopper, and Nico Robin -– the resident Devil Fruit eaters --- would all drown, and THEN where would they be?
As for Zoro, well…He'd grow increasingly uncomfortable with Mihawk's second personality, and would be about to tell him to buzz off---when he'd drop into that *stimulating* first personality.
After all, Zoro'd been chasing after this man for half his life, he couldn't just *reject* him. Besides, he might get angry and slice up the ship. And, though he'd never admit even with a knife to his throat, he secretly kinda sorta liked the attention.
Three tension-filled days after Mihawk's arrival, Luffy walked into the pantry to see…
*Mihawk* was pressing *Zoro* against the wall! That's not the way things worked! *Zoro* should be the one pressing things up against the wall! Namely Luffy!
Luffy wrenched Mihawk off Zoro, turned him around, then socked him a good one. Thank goodness the force made him fly into Sanji (having just opened the door to get some spices from the pantry) who managed to stop him from plowing through the wall and making a giant hole in the ship. Whoo, close one. They'd only dented it.
Luffy stormed over to Mihawk, now lying dazed on the floor (Sanji was stuck in the dent in the wall). "You asshole! I'm gonna *destroy* you!!!" Luffy yelled, cracking his knuckles. The other crewmembers rushed into the hallway, sensing a disaster. On the floor, Mihawk rubbed the blooming bruise on his jaw with his left hand.
Pop. Mr. 2 Bon Clay appeared in his place.
Everyone's eyes grew reeeaaaally reeeeeeaaaally big.
Ohmygod. He'd been flirting with the okama.
And everything was going fine, really. No conflicts at all. But where's the fun in that, I ask you?
So I'm gonna throw in a dash of "impossible" and a pinch of "what-the-hell?!" if you don't mind.
One day, as the crew was sailing the all around blueness of Grandline, they came across an unexpected visitor.
"Well, that's one heck of an unexpected visitor!" Usopp yelled from the crow's nest. It was his shift to be look-out, and imagine his surprise when, as he was innocently making up fabulous lies to tell Chopper, Mihawk appeared on the horizon. In his itty bitty boat. With his feather hat. And huge black sword (which, when you think about it, must be compensating for something).
"Who is it Usopp?" Nami shouted back up to him as Luffy stretched an arm up to the top of the mast and popped himself into the crow's nest.
"It's that guy….from that time…during the thing with the place!" Luffy exclaimed, excited. A fight was gonna happen, surely!
"Hawk Eyes Mihawk!" Usopp clarified.
Zoro started. Hawk Eyes? Here? Now?!
Mihawk jumped up onto the deck, cape billowing. "Hello boyth!" He said flamboyantly with THE most glaringly obvious lisp the world had yet to be subjected to. "Tho good to thee you again!"
He sure looked like Mihawk. He was definitely dressed as Mihawk. But something was wrong…He was completely, totally, and humiliatingly out-of-character. Whoopee! Time for some fun!
"Mihawk…wh-what happened to your coolness?" Sanji said, stunned. He'd been almost as cool as Sanji himself!
"What? Oh, that. Well, when I met you, I had a really big audienth. Now that it'th jutht friendth, I can be mythelf!"
"You know, his new persona sure matches his outfit, unlike before…" Usopp muttered under his breath. Nami, Chopper, and Nico Robin didn't say anything. They'd never met the man, though they'd heard about him from the others over the kitchen table. Usopp had insisted that he'd "scared him off," but nobody listened to him. Except Chopper, of course.
"Mihawk, you really should 'be yourself' more often. It would completely throw off any enemy you wanted to fight," Sanji remarked with a smirk.
"Yeth, but it would ruin my badatth reputation! And it doesn't hurt my sex life either…"
Suddenly, Mihawk dropped back into his smooth, serious attitude. He walked over to Zoro and said seductively, "Ah…the promising young swordsman. You have gotten stronger…much stronger. But not enough to make me a good challenge. Perhaps we might continue our previous business another time?" At this point, he was seriously invading Zoro's "personal bubble." Strangely, though, Zoro didn't seem to mind…he was almost blushing, come to think of it…
He hadn't realized before that Mihawk was so….tall.
Then Zoro straightened up. "I agree. This ship is too small anyway. And I'd rather not break it." Yes, the ship was much too small…little crowded in fact. Was it getting hot, or was it just him?
For some reason, this fact didn't seem to be bothering Luffy all that much. In fact, he was already in his "shadows covering my eyes I'm about to open up a can of whoop-ass" phase of getting serious. Chopper and Usopp were easing away from him, looking anxious.
"Um…Luffy?" Nami said rather timidly(whoa! More out of character-ness!), "You okay?" No answer. "Maybe you should…go have a snack! Sanji! Go cook something for Luffy!"
"Yes Nami-san!" Sanji said with as little schmoozing as possible, understanding the dangerousness of the situation. Damn! They needed a bigger boat!
Luffy seemed torn. Go to the kitchen and eat….or kick some major ass? In the end, Mihawk made the decision for him by stepping out of Zoro's range and saying, "Food? Thoundth good, I'm thtarving!"
It was really amazing how fast the Love Cook could…well….cook, when the situation called for it. He had them sitting around the kitchen table, munching on snacks in 2 minutes flat.
Unfortunately, the problem wouldn't seem to just go away. Mihawk was sitting next to Zoro at the table, subtly leaning toward him. Hey, sailing alone for a few weeks on a tiny raft could really get you down! Who wouldn't want to get some….friendship? At the time however, Luffy was concentrating on food and had no room in his mind for anything else.
But the captain noticed in the next few days, oh yes. Mihawk stuck to Zoro like Nami to her treasure. During a casual conversation, a brush of the shoulder, a press of the thigh. And every time Luffy noticed, he'd get more than eager to start a fight---but then someone would always interrupt and suggest a bite to eat. They simply couldn't let anyone fight Mihawk --- The Going Merry would surely be destroyed, and they were sailing in the middle of nowhere! Luffy, Chopper, and Nico Robin -– the resident Devil Fruit eaters --- would all drown, and THEN where would they be?
As for Zoro, well…He'd grow increasingly uncomfortable with Mihawk's second personality, and would be about to tell him to buzz off---when he'd drop into that *stimulating* first personality.
After all, Zoro'd been chasing after this man for half his life, he couldn't just *reject* him. Besides, he might get angry and slice up the ship. And, though he'd never admit even with a knife to his throat, he secretly kinda sorta liked the attention.
Three tension-filled days after Mihawk's arrival, Luffy walked into the pantry to see…
*Mihawk* was pressing *Zoro* against the wall! That's not the way things worked! *Zoro* should be the one pressing things up against the wall! Namely Luffy!
Luffy wrenched Mihawk off Zoro, turned him around, then socked him a good one. Thank goodness the force made him fly into Sanji (having just opened the door to get some spices from the pantry) who managed to stop him from plowing through the wall and making a giant hole in the ship. Whoo, close one. They'd only dented it.
Luffy stormed over to Mihawk, now lying dazed on the floor (Sanji was stuck in the dent in the wall). "You asshole! I'm gonna *destroy* you!!!" Luffy yelled, cracking his knuckles. The other crewmembers rushed into the hallway, sensing a disaster. On the floor, Mihawk rubbed the blooming bruise on his jaw with his left hand.
Pop. Mr. 2 Bon Clay appeared in his place.
Everyone's eyes grew reeeaaaally reeeeeeaaaally big.
Ohmygod. He'd been flirting with the okama.