I gazed over her shoulder – trying to avoid any sort of eye contact possible. It was all I could do from running away. According all the psychoanalysts that I have seen on Relena's orders - I suppress my emotions, and that is why I don't sleep on a regular basis. They also said that because I'm rather orderly, that I'm stuck in my days as a toddler. Personally, I don't remember cocking a gun at two years old. But that's just me.
Trying my best not to react to anything that was going on around me – though I could feel the stares of quite a few people around me. Most of them were coming from the table in the back of the room seated with four prying guys. They had it in for me – especially the braided one – the damn baka. He was smiling like a hyena, even though I knew he was cringing inside. It's not my fault he loves Relena.
My embarrassment had turned to anger very easily. Did I mention I hate to dance? I will again, then. I hate dancing. I can still remember the night of that party – the night I discovered that I could talk all I wanted, but I would never kill Relena Darlain. I remember giving into her and dancing. That was the only time I've actually semi-enjoyed waltzing. Surprisingly, we were waltzing now. Was this world just full of coincidences?
"Heero, don't be so tense."
She whispered in my ear, her warm breath upon my neck. I have tried to kill myself numerous times, but now was looking like the best time. My world was falling in a downward spiral – I wasn't in control anymore.
I don't give up without a fight, though. "I will be as tense as I want." I said, reassuring all suspicions that I hated her. Only, I didn't. I hated my love for her.
I felt the eyes of all those people boring into me now. In fact, I felt like the whole room was staring at us. It's not like they hadn't seen us together before, or we were making some sort of spectacle of ourselves. It was just still odd for them. It was still strange for me.
A pacifist just doesn't date or fall in love with a war-hungry, inhuman monster. Sure, we had saved all of their asses during the wars, but I was still an outsider. I didn't fit the mold of society – not that I minded, I like my independence.
"Hey, buddy, give a guy a dance with a girl as pretty as the princess." Called a voice from behind us. I gladly took my hand from its spot on Relena's back and turned to face Duo. for once, I was glad that he loved Relena – now was my chance to escape. However, I was still puzzled – even Duo knew better than to break into a dance – its when I'm most "volatile".
When I turned to face the people of the room, I noticed that the music had mysteriously changed tempo. Was it me or weren't we waltzing just a second ago? The couples on the floor were doing something that oddly resembled the jitterbug. How long had we been dancing?
I made my way back to the table in the corner of the room – a secluded place for secluded ponderings. Inhabitants of the hall followed me with their heads and then turned back to watch Relena and her new partner on the dance floor. Never before had I been so thankful for being discreet – even if I do have a habit of sticking out in the crowd and then disappearing. My specialty, thank you.
Quatre was the first to speak, "Gosh, Heero, I never knew you liked to dance so much. I mean you and Ms. Relena were on the floor for nearly five songs. We were getting worried."
I kept my usual cool stance and said nothing. See, this is where people get the idea that I have no verbal skills. I have all skills – I can do anything. I chose not use that particular one at the time, and sat down in that disgustingly pink chair.
With the lights flashing in my face, I had a thought. This is the difference between me and Relena – I see the world in red and she's sees it in pink. Insane as I may have thought it was – my notion was not incorrect. Her rose-tinted glasses kept her from seeing all the blatant evil that I was always rescuing her from. And somehow, I just didn't think there was such a thing as peace and happiness, and until that night – love.
Wufei was staring at me again – and I swear Relena wasn't there anymore to protect him. My soldier's mind was reeling with plans on how to rip out the Chinese boy's eyes without him screaming and alarming Relena. What was up with him?
I looked down at my shirt and then patted my hair – making sure that I just didn't spill something. But I knew I didn't – I don't spill anything, I have perfect balance. So what was so interesting about me that he couldn't stop looking at me? I listened as intently as I could, but I heard no one behind me. He was definitely staring at me.
"Heero – would you mind taking me back home? I'm feeling a bit dizzy."
I could tell her angelic voice from anywhere. Why was she asking me to take her back home? Not that I wanted to stay any longer at the stupid party, but still. I'd probably made a totally ass out of us – and now she was asking me to take her home. Doesn't that sound very conspicuous? But what could I say?
"Fine." Typically monotonous.
"I'll just get my coat." She said, cerulean eyes twinkling. She pivoted gracefully on her tiptoes and I could have sworn there was a smile upon her face. She was just so beautiful I had to gaze at her once more.
I was dragged back into the insane fantasy people call reality by the laughing of my comrades. I glared at them like death and got Quatre to quiver. Trowa just stopped suddenly – I don't think I'd ever truly heard him laugh. Wufei didn't need a good glare - he was giving me one of his own. It really had to make me wonder – what was going on with him?
"Hey, buddy," called Maxwell, who was sitting across from me at the table, "Remember – no sex before marriage." He winked, evidently in need to cause me more pain than I was already feeling. Once again, the urge to decapitate the American was fueled. Didn't he now his life was in danger?
"Are you going home?" I asked.
"I think we will – this party's Dullsville. Besides, while you're out the double fudge ice cream is all mine." Said Duo, that hyena smile appearing once again. He better not eat all of it – I really don't like blood on my carpet.
"I'm ready, Heero." She said, poking me with her perfectly manicured hands. Relena lived only a few blocks away from the apartment building where all of us lived. She stayed in the political district at Zechs' insistence – wouldn't want his fake sister to be killed. It was funny how she'd been denounced as princess and still lived like royalty.
"Let's go." I said and then gave one last round of glares to the table of boys lest they let out some stupid giggle. I spotted Duo wink and made a point of touching my handgun. He got the message, but was still smiling like a fool. I decided to ignore him.
It was so strange how I hated Maxwell's smile, but the second I got way of Relena's, the world just seemed to different. My mind cleared and I felt a certain calm. I hated that feeling almost as much as I hated love.
"What's wrong, Heero?" Relena asked, practically the second we got into the car. She shifted in her seat to face me, but I didn't react. Her eyes scanned my exterior, looking for a place where she could pierce into me and see my heart. I couldn't let that happen.
"Tired."
She laughed; it was like bells tinkling together. "Perfect soldiers don't get tired." As much as I resented the comment – she was right. I wasn't tired – I'm never tired. I don't know if it was the mention of my physical abilities or frightening memories of a dead childhood, but I just wanted to drive as fast as I could.
She sensed my distress and said, "I'm sorry, Heero, I didn't mean it in a bad way. I really am sorry." Since I didn't let me features gentle, she turned to look outside of her window glumly.
"I know you're sorry." I said. I had said sorry twice today. My stats weren't looking too good. All I wanted was to go home – get this night over with. Tomorrow I could go into work and everything would be normal again. I don't like irregularity.
We sat in silence for quite some time until I finally pulled up to her Victorian styles house. I had never been inside, but from the look of the outside – it had to be very expensive.
Unlocking the doors, I waited for her to get out of my car. She didn't, though. Did she expect me to get the door for her? I'm no servant of hers. Where was Pagan anyways? Just go home – then I can go back to being in control of these emotions.
"I told Pagan to take the night off," she started after looking over at me, "do you want to come in?" I could tell she was nervous – her heart was palpitating at a rapid pace and she sputtered out the words as fast as she could.
She noticed my indecisiveness and made a move to cover her embarrassment, "I was think that you could help secure my house – Zechs said you could do it tomorrow, but since you're here…" she trailed off, a puppy-dog expression on her delicate features. She was pleading with me – I didn't have a choice.
A/N- I'm afraid that this is another short chapter, but I have to do this horrible thing about the Catcher in the Rye and it's taking forever. I realize that Heero is rather OOC, and I'm afraid that his un-characterization grows throughout the story, but so does his emotions and feelings. And I mean, how do we really know what's going on in that cute head of his? Seriously. Well, hope you are enjoying reading as much as I enjoy writing!
How is it? Something I should change? A suggestion perhaps? Then send a review and let me know!