Chapter Five
I think that was the first time in my life I'd actually been sick. I mean really sick. And you know what – I didn't like it. Not one bit. I remember faking it as a kid, just to get my many different guardians to blow their tops, but none of it was real. This, however, was very real.
"Stop fussing, Heero." She said. Which was rather funny in itself seeing as I had willed my body to remain as rigid as possible. Was she making one of those sardonic jokes? Or was it sarcastic? I could never tell the difference.
"Now drink this and it'll all be better." She said, patting my head like I was some five year old. Did she not know that I would not figure the clear substance to be none other than dihydrogen oxide? I once read a position paper on the dangers of dihydrogen oxide and why I shouldn't drink it. However, since it happens to be necessary for life, I thought that it might be practical to follow her megalomaniacal orders.
"Now sip it, nice and easy." She said, once again ruining my silence, which everyone knows is only for fuming. I was getting aggravated – very aggravated. In fact, I was near my breaking point. I growled when she tried to help me tip my cup so I could drink it – I am not a child. I guess I felt regressed since I've always been able to take care of myself. That and I don't like people touching me. I know, I'll make a wonderful husband.
Anyway, I was still mad at Relena for nominating me for that stupid job. Like I want to attend stupid meetings about peace. For God's sake, I'm a soldier, not a conscientious objector. It's not my fault no one understands me.
"If you don't stop touching me you will have no fingers in ten seconds." I avowed.
"And you stop with the threats, Heero. That got old the second time you stated that you would "destroy" me."
Don't you just hate it when no one takes you seriously? I know I do. She was practically goading me on – didn't she know I could kill her in a second flat? Just because I love her doesn't mean I wasn't going to kill her. I'm not that soft.
Groping for my gun, I realized that it wasn't there. Had she taken my gun? She must have been asking for a real death sentence.
"Where is
my gun?"
"I don't know Heero. But you should stop carrying that thing around – you could hurt someone."
Let's go over something really quick. Purpose of Gun = to hurt people. Was she out of her freaking mind? I know she likes peace – I don't really mind it either. But separate a warrior from his weapon and you can end up with an unstable person.
She looked down at me with sad eyes, almost pleading. Instantly my violent thoughts dissipated once more. I hate when that happens. The worst part is the fact that it makes me want to hurt her more – knowing that she can control me like that. I'm a torn man.
"Looking for this, Yuy?" said that pathetic attempt at a man. Seriously – with all that long hair you'd think he was a girl. But I couldn't do anything – he had my gun in his hands. Not to mention the fact that Relena was there. I wonder – if I had injured Zechs – whose side would Relena take?
Not now. Focus. Focus faster. Tally -- no weapons, love of my life present, evil prince/half-brother present, sick knight-in-shining-armor present. You'd think I took this straight out of a fairytale.
Strangely, Zechs handed me my gun. Which ended my demented attempt at make-believe.
"You'll meet the President tomorrow at eight o'clock. Don't be late. And bring my sister with you. She can help you." He said and promptly walked out of my room. Confused? Very much so.
I looked at Relena for answers. She was smiling brightly and her chest was puffed out as if she was proud. Proud of what? I know she loves her brother, but really – all he did was hand me my own gun – where's the greatness in that?
"I'll have Pagan pick you up at seven." She said, "Oh Heero, I'm so glad Milliardo is letting you take the Ambassador's position!"
No, no, no, no. I did not sign up for that. Relena just made a stupid suggestion. I never said 'yes'!
"I can't believe he actually let you. I bet Luce had something to do with it – I'll have to thank her later." She said, and then put her index finger up to her chin as if she was in deep thought. "And I'll have to train you on formal protocol – we only have a week! I'll have to see you every day for instructions. Don't worry – you'll get used to it in no time."
My stricken face wasn't enough to make her realize that I wasn't at all pleased. However, the prospect of seeing Relena every day for three weeks was comforting. That didn't stop me from feeling like vomiting again, though.
"Lay back down, Heero – you're looking awfully pale."
She tilted her head to the side in a playful manner and gently lowered my back against a bed of pillows.
Wait, this doesn't make any sense. I can't be the Ambassador.
"If I can, why can't you?"
"Can't what?" she asked while folding a blanket.
"Become an ambassador."
Her face fell at the mention. I didn't really know how hard she'd taken the news of her illegitimacy, but I could tell it had hurt. Running long fingers through her hair, she opened her mouth to explain, but then closed it. When she finally spoke, I thought I saw a slight layer of liquid in her eyes. Was she crying?
"Heero, I'm no longer Respected Relena. You have to understand – my name is tarnished. I'm not even allowed to be a citizen. I know that sounds harsh, but my parents' sins have to be paid for somehow. I'm not pure, Heero."
"And I am?"
"Publicly, yes. You're sins can be forgiven – mine can't"
"But they're not yours."
"It doesn't matter." She said, wiping away a stray tear. My heart was breaking so bad I though I might actually hug her. That might make her even more confused, though. I know what it's like to be lost.
"At least we'll get to work together. I'm sure the Vice Foreign Minister will have something to do with the Ambassador of Cinq." It amazed me how she could go from weeping to grinning so easily.
I wanted to ask if she would be all right – if she needed my help. I couldn't bring myself to, though. I don't know what the hell was wrong with me, but from that moment, I didn't want to hide my love anymore. I just wanted to tell her.
"I love-" I whispered inaudibly.
"You should get some rest, Heero. I've instructed Duo on how to make vegetable soup – so I would expect some burnt water for dinner. I'll be here in the morning. Feel better." She said, and pulled the door to my bedroom closed. I couldn't believe what had just gone on.
I have one question – only one: how the heck did Zechs know where I live? Guess I'll never know.
Instantly after Relena left, Duo entered my room.
"Say a word and I'll slowly tear you to pieces."
"Geez, man. I was just going to say that I'm almost finished dinner." He replied and exited the room while shaking his head.
I could feel the world crashing down upon me. I had no friends, no love, and no happiness. Only my sadistic humor was keeping me alive. And even that was pretty bad. But it was the only thing I had.
I don't think there was ever a time when I wanted just to curl up in a hole and wither away into nothing. I just wanted to cease to exist.
"Dinner's ready!"
No need to say more.
A/N- I'm back! And I already miss my New York *sigh* Quite a bit of dialogue in this chapter. I wasn't in the best of humors. At least I get to laugh at all you people enjoying the wonders of snow. Ah, yes 80 degree weather – now I remember why I love California. Well, I hope I have cleared up anything. And I just have to say that you reviewers are especially evil. I mean how is a girl to interpret half the stuff that you write? You guys are particularly ambiguous. I love you anyway, though. Millions of hugs to you all. Hope you enjoyed (if you did, then please state clearly, thank you)
Pink Delusion's Public Service Announcement (say that twenty times fast)- As you may have noticed, there is very little drama in this fic – I'd like to keep it that way, too. However, if you are looking for a nice Romance/Drama/Angst fic with all the added benefits of a Heero and Relena relationship, check out this really cool fic – 'Cruel Affection' by my sista up in Britian – MoonMyst. Personally, I haven't sent a review yet, but, being the wonderful beta that I am, I can vouch for its awesomeness. Happy reading!
How is it? Something I should change? A suggestion perhaps? Then please send a review and let me know!