Hmm, let's see. Nope. Still don't own FF8.
Legacy 7 The fallen knight
Squall Leonhart rarely, if ever, allowed himself to become frightened during battle. Even if the enemy was far superior and the odds overwhelming, his training as a SeeD pushed him to fight even if things looked their bleakest. He had won many battles he wasn't supposed to simply because he never let himself feel emotions such as fear, despair, or grief. Rinoa once accused him of being heartless, but a soldier fighting a war had no use for such emotion; it only distracted him, made him weak. He had learned to block out these dangerous feelings, even when facing a clearly superior opponent.
But now, looking into the chilling eyes of the person most familiar to him in the world—himself—Squall Leonhart felt the cold hand of terror squeeze his heart. This was him, and yet it wasn't. Squall knew his own shortcomings. He knew that many saw him as being cold and heartless, with no feelings whatsoever. That was a lie and he knew it; the truth was he FELT too much. And so he would close off the world with the intent of not feeling that anguish ever again. Rinoa had seen past his front. She saw the emotions, even behind his wall of ice. They were there, albeit hidden, and she never gave up on him, once she saw the real Squall trying to masquerade as something he was not.
This was different. Squall looked into this man's eyes, eyes so much like his own, and saw nothing. No light, no soul, nothing but the cold, frozen abyss of one who fell into darkness long ago, and was never able to find his way back to the light. What chilled him most was the knowledge that this person, this shell, might very well be his future. This WAS Squall Leonhart, and he was terrified of the implications.
The future Squall gave him a smile devoid of any warmth and took a frightening step forward. Blood dulled the edges of a familiar looking blade, his very own Lionheart, except this Lionheart had very recently taken the lives of nearly a dozen innocents. For as long as he could remember, Squall always hated the sight of blood on his weapon, cleaning it off as soon as opportunity presented itself. It seemed his future self had no such reservations.
"Leonhart," Storm whispered, and Squall noted his voice was trembling. "How did you get here? What do you think you're doing?"
The future Squall turned a lifeless glare on him. "I'm afraid your time travel device is no longer in the hands of the resistance," he stated.
Storm went ghostly pale. "What...what did you do to them?"
Leonhart smiled his chilling smile, and threw something at Storm's feet. Squall glanced down at the item, and his heart grew cold.
A silver cross lay there in the blinking lights of the Ragnorock. It was attached to a short chain, though both chain and pendant were covered in blood. He had seen it before. It once belonged to his most desperate rival.
The bloody cross was Seifer's.
"Compliments of Adel," Leonhart said in a voice barely above a whisper. In the flickering lights, his eyes gleamed like some malicious demon. "I wouldn't worry about it, though. You'll be joining him very shortly. You AND your precious sorceress." His smile grew brighter, more evil, as he raised his sword. "I told you I would have my revenge."
Squall understood nothing of this exchange; he only heard one thing. And it left him feeling more sick and frightened then he ever felt in his life. Somehow, sometime in the future, he had turned on his beloved Rinoa. The person he had sworn to protect with his heart and soul, the one who meant more to him than anything in the world, had been betrayed, by her own knight.
"Squall," mumbled Storm, and Squall knew he was speaking to him and not the fallen knight standing across from them. "Go to Rinoa. Protect her with everything you have in you. Do not, for the sake of the future, let her out of your sight. And pray to whatever gods you believe in that it will be enough."
Leonhart then turned his soulless eyes on his younger self. "Run to your sorceress, boy," he whispered. "Protect her while you can. Because you won't be able to much longer, I promise you that."
And he lunged.
Later, Squall could not believe how quickly the fallen knight moved. He knew in that one instant that Storm did not have a chance against him. He wondered if HE stood a chance against himself. The other Squall moved with the speed of a demon, directly for Storm, his gunblade slashing down in a deadly, fatal arc. Squall knew he would never get there in time, and braced for the sight of Storm's severed body to crumple to the Ragnorock floor.
Instead, a blinding light exploded in front of Leonhart, hurling him back with the force of Ifrit's Hellfire blow. Mystified, Squall watched his alter self go flying out the shattered window, and heard him hit the cement floor with a sickening crack. Whirling around, he saw Rinoa standing at the back of the room, one slender hand outstretched, a grim, determined look on her face. Slowly, her arm dropped back to her side, and she began to tremble violently.
"Rinoa," Storm blinked. He seemed shocked to find himself still alive. "When did you come in? How...how much of that did you hear?"
Rinoa's eyes were glassy. She tried to meet Squall's gaze, but for some reason the knight was averting his eyes. "I heard him talking about Adel, and how you would be joining someone shortly," she whispered, still trying to get Squall to look at her. "And I heard him talking about getting revenge...on me."
Squall ached to go to her, to wrap her in his arms and hold her close, as he had done that day in this very room, up in space. However, something held him back. Perhaps, it was Leonhart's own chilling words, or the knowledge that sometime in the future, something had gone horribly wrong between sorceress and knight, enough to make him turn on her. He didn't know if Rinoa wanted him near her at the moment. Hell, he didn't know if he wanted to be around himself.
"Squall," Storm called softly. The boy was looking out the broken window with a grim expression. Squall forced himself away from Rinoa and looked to where Storm was pointing.
The floor beneath Ragnorock was empty. There was a pool of blood, and a spattered trail that disappeared under one of the other ships, but other than that, the room was deserted. Leonhart was gone.
"We haven't seen the last of him," Storm mumbled, shaking his head. "He's relentless. He'll never give up until he achieves what he's come to do." He sighed and raked his hands through his hair with a trace of his old confidence. "This is going to complicate things..."
"That..." Rinoa's soft, disbelieving voice wavered as she looked at the boy. Storm glanced at her almost fearfully. "That was Squall, wasn't it Storm? That was Squall...from the future? From your future?"
"...Yeah," Storm rasped, as Squall closed his eyes in despair. "Yeah, Rinoa. That was Squall."
"Rinny!" There was the sound of thudding feet, and a moment later, Zell and Selphie came up the lift into the cockpit. One look at the room, and they both gasped. "Squall?" gaped Zell, staring at him bug eyed. "Storm?! What the hell is going on?"
"Oh my god, oh my god! Rocky!" wailed Selphie, taking note of the trashed room. Glass littered the floor, the instruments were damaged, and several seats had been slashed to ribbons by swinging gunblades. "My poor baby, what did they do to you?"
It took several moments for them to calm down, and for Squall to regain some semblance of order. Naturally, they both wanted to know what was going on, but Squall refused to say anything on the matter. He told them to escort Storm to a room, and to wait there with him for further orders. He also told them that no one was to be informed of the boy's appearance until he gave the order himself. Storm eyed him warily at this point, but for once, decided to cooperate without a fuss. As the three of them left the ship, Squall managed to keep his blank Commander's face intact, until he was left alone.
Correction. Left alone, with Rinoa.
Squall gazed out the shattered window, afraid that if he met her eyes he would see nothing but contempt, or worse yet, fear. He didn't know what he would do if she was afraid of him, but he was pretty sure it would involve either him throwing himself at her feet, or plunging Lionheart into his own chest. Not for the first time, he felt sick and ashamed. He didn't know what to tell her. How could he dare apologize to his sorceress, when both of them had seen exactly who he was, what he truly would turn into?
Bile rose in the back of his throat, along with a bitter self loathing so strong he almost choked on it. Rinoa would surely despise him now. Even if she didn't hate him, how could she ever trust him again, knowing what he would become? Inwardly, he cursed himself, both future and present, and, for a moment, wished he had died in that Time Comprehension wasteland. Maybe then, he would never have to see the demon Squall Leonhart would become...
"Squall!"
Squall jerked out of his self loathing and realized Rinoa was standing right beside him with an irritated look on her face. He knew that look. It was the same one she gave him when he drifted off into his own private world and she had to yank him back to the present, usually after saying his name several times in a row.
"Sorry, Rin," he muttered, out of nervous habit. But he still couldn't look her in the eye. Inside, he was trembling, debating whether or not he should grab her tight and beg her not to hate him, not to leave him, because that THING she saw a few minutes ago wasn't him, it couldn't be, and even if it was, she had to give him a chance to prove himself.
Instead, he nearly jumped a foot in the air when a soft hand touched his face. Rinoa gently cupped the side of his cheek and turned his face to hers. Squall resisted just a moment, then met her gaze in resignation.
"Why are you hiding from me?" she asked softly. And, before Squall could say anything, added: "I know what you're thinking, Squall Leonhart. Do you think I don't know It's the same nightmare I face whenever I imagine Ultimacia possessing me again. That, someday in the future, I might turn on those I love the most. It's scary and frightening, and if you think about it too much, you start to hate yourself. I've certainly had my moments of hate and self-pity, where I wondered if it would just be easier to kill myself in order to spare the future my insanity.
"But, you know what?" she continued, her eyes boring into his very soul. "I've thought about it a lot; about Ultimacia and myself, and what Storm said about me, and I've come to this conclusion. The future is just that. It isn't here yet, and the only thing I can work on now is the present. I'm gonna make the present count, and hope it will be enough to change that future, because that's all I can do right now."
"What if it isn't?" Squall demanded, more out of desperation than anger. "What if you do your best to prevent that future, but it happens anyway? How can you know for sure?"
Rinoa smiled faintly. "No one can predict the future, Squall," she said, falling back on one of her old phrases. "But, we've gone through some pretty desperate times before, and came out okay. The only thing I want to be sure of is this: that I won't have to fight alone. As long as I'm with...with you," she said, faltering a bit, "I think I can face anything the future has to throw at us. As long as you're beside me..." She broke off, suddenly unsure, not wanting to embarrass him. But Squall captured her waist and drew her close again. Rinoa looked up at him with deep, trusting brown eyes, completely confident in her knight, never thinking for a moment that he would ever turn on her. Squall wished he had that confidence himself; he wanted to tell he how grateful he was. For her trust, and for turning a nightmare situation into something he could deal with. He was never good with words, so he summed up his feelings in one simple phrase that meant the world to them both.
"I'll be here," he murmured, and watched Rinoa's eyes light up with understanding.
"Waiting for you," she whispered back. He smiled and continued, reciting a promise that held a world of emotion for him, one that he never regretted, and would promise her again and again.
"So, if you come here..."
"You'll find me."
"I promise," Squall finished. Rinoa's eyes misted over and she threw her arms around his neck. Squall held her tightly, felt the beat of her heart against his own and, for a brief moment, wondered what Cid had felt when he ordered them to kill Edea, the sorceress he had failed to protect. And at that moment, on the second floor of the Ragnorock, Squall Leonhart prayed to Hyne that Rinoa would never have to look into the eyes of her own knight, and be forced to kill him.
Another chapter done, whew. My life has been so crazy lately, it's been difficult to write anything. But, I promised I would finish this and I will. Thanks to all who have reviewed. I'm glad that there are still people who love Squall and Rinoa as much as I do.
Arigato, Silverkitsune
Legacy 7 The fallen knight
Squall Leonhart rarely, if ever, allowed himself to become frightened during battle. Even if the enemy was far superior and the odds overwhelming, his training as a SeeD pushed him to fight even if things looked their bleakest. He had won many battles he wasn't supposed to simply because he never let himself feel emotions such as fear, despair, or grief. Rinoa once accused him of being heartless, but a soldier fighting a war had no use for such emotion; it only distracted him, made him weak. He had learned to block out these dangerous feelings, even when facing a clearly superior opponent.
But now, looking into the chilling eyes of the person most familiar to him in the world—himself—Squall Leonhart felt the cold hand of terror squeeze his heart. This was him, and yet it wasn't. Squall knew his own shortcomings. He knew that many saw him as being cold and heartless, with no feelings whatsoever. That was a lie and he knew it; the truth was he FELT too much. And so he would close off the world with the intent of not feeling that anguish ever again. Rinoa had seen past his front. She saw the emotions, even behind his wall of ice. They were there, albeit hidden, and she never gave up on him, once she saw the real Squall trying to masquerade as something he was not.
This was different. Squall looked into this man's eyes, eyes so much like his own, and saw nothing. No light, no soul, nothing but the cold, frozen abyss of one who fell into darkness long ago, and was never able to find his way back to the light. What chilled him most was the knowledge that this person, this shell, might very well be his future. This WAS Squall Leonhart, and he was terrified of the implications.
The future Squall gave him a smile devoid of any warmth and took a frightening step forward. Blood dulled the edges of a familiar looking blade, his very own Lionheart, except this Lionheart had very recently taken the lives of nearly a dozen innocents. For as long as he could remember, Squall always hated the sight of blood on his weapon, cleaning it off as soon as opportunity presented itself. It seemed his future self had no such reservations.
"Leonhart," Storm whispered, and Squall noted his voice was trembling. "How did you get here? What do you think you're doing?"
The future Squall turned a lifeless glare on him. "I'm afraid your time travel device is no longer in the hands of the resistance," he stated.
Storm went ghostly pale. "What...what did you do to them?"
Leonhart smiled his chilling smile, and threw something at Storm's feet. Squall glanced down at the item, and his heart grew cold.
A silver cross lay there in the blinking lights of the Ragnorock. It was attached to a short chain, though both chain and pendant were covered in blood. He had seen it before. It once belonged to his most desperate rival.
The bloody cross was Seifer's.
"Compliments of Adel," Leonhart said in a voice barely above a whisper. In the flickering lights, his eyes gleamed like some malicious demon. "I wouldn't worry about it, though. You'll be joining him very shortly. You AND your precious sorceress." His smile grew brighter, more evil, as he raised his sword. "I told you I would have my revenge."
Squall understood nothing of this exchange; he only heard one thing. And it left him feeling more sick and frightened then he ever felt in his life. Somehow, sometime in the future, he had turned on his beloved Rinoa. The person he had sworn to protect with his heart and soul, the one who meant more to him than anything in the world, had been betrayed, by her own knight.
"Squall," mumbled Storm, and Squall knew he was speaking to him and not the fallen knight standing across from them. "Go to Rinoa. Protect her with everything you have in you. Do not, for the sake of the future, let her out of your sight. And pray to whatever gods you believe in that it will be enough."
Leonhart then turned his soulless eyes on his younger self. "Run to your sorceress, boy," he whispered. "Protect her while you can. Because you won't be able to much longer, I promise you that."
And he lunged.
Later, Squall could not believe how quickly the fallen knight moved. He knew in that one instant that Storm did not have a chance against him. He wondered if HE stood a chance against himself. The other Squall moved with the speed of a demon, directly for Storm, his gunblade slashing down in a deadly, fatal arc. Squall knew he would never get there in time, and braced for the sight of Storm's severed body to crumple to the Ragnorock floor.
Instead, a blinding light exploded in front of Leonhart, hurling him back with the force of Ifrit's Hellfire blow. Mystified, Squall watched his alter self go flying out the shattered window, and heard him hit the cement floor with a sickening crack. Whirling around, he saw Rinoa standing at the back of the room, one slender hand outstretched, a grim, determined look on her face. Slowly, her arm dropped back to her side, and she began to tremble violently.
"Rinoa," Storm blinked. He seemed shocked to find himself still alive. "When did you come in? How...how much of that did you hear?"
Rinoa's eyes were glassy. She tried to meet Squall's gaze, but for some reason the knight was averting his eyes. "I heard him talking about Adel, and how you would be joining someone shortly," she whispered, still trying to get Squall to look at her. "And I heard him talking about getting revenge...on me."
Squall ached to go to her, to wrap her in his arms and hold her close, as he had done that day in this very room, up in space. However, something held him back. Perhaps, it was Leonhart's own chilling words, or the knowledge that sometime in the future, something had gone horribly wrong between sorceress and knight, enough to make him turn on her. He didn't know if Rinoa wanted him near her at the moment. Hell, he didn't know if he wanted to be around himself.
"Squall," Storm called softly. The boy was looking out the broken window with a grim expression. Squall forced himself away from Rinoa and looked to where Storm was pointing.
The floor beneath Ragnorock was empty. There was a pool of blood, and a spattered trail that disappeared under one of the other ships, but other than that, the room was deserted. Leonhart was gone.
"We haven't seen the last of him," Storm mumbled, shaking his head. "He's relentless. He'll never give up until he achieves what he's come to do." He sighed and raked his hands through his hair with a trace of his old confidence. "This is going to complicate things..."
"That..." Rinoa's soft, disbelieving voice wavered as she looked at the boy. Storm glanced at her almost fearfully. "That was Squall, wasn't it Storm? That was Squall...from the future? From your future?"
"...Yeah," Storm rasped, as Squall closed his eyes in despair. "Yeah, Rinoa. That was Squall."
"Rinny!" There was the sound of thudding feet, and a moment later, Zell and Selphie came up the lift into the cockpit. One look at the room, and they both gasped. "Squall?" gaped Zell, staring at him bug eyed. "Storm?! What the hell is going on?"
"Oh my god, oh my god! Rocky!" wailed Selphie, taking note of the trashed room. Glass littered the floor, the instruments were damaged, and several seats had been slashed to ribbons by swinging gunblades. "My poor baby, what did they do to you?"
It took several moments for them to calm down, and for Squall to regain some semblance of order. Naturally, they both wanted to know what was going on, but Squall refused to say anything on the matter. He told them to escort Storm to a room, and to wait there with him for further orders. He also told them that no one was to be informed of the boy's appearance until he gave the order himself. Storm eyed him warily at this point, but for once, decided to cooperate without a fuss. As the three of them left the ship, Squall managed to keep his blank Commander's face intact, until he was left alone.
Correction. Left alone, with Rinoa.
Squall gazed out the shattered window, afraid that if he met her eyes he would see nothing but contempt, or worse yet, fear. He didn't know what he would do if she was afraid of him, but he was pretty sure it would involve either him throwing himself at her feet, or plunging Lionheart into his own chest. Not for the first time, he felt sick and ashamed. He didn't know what to tell her. How could he dare apologize to his sorceress, when both of them had seen exactly who he was, what he truly would turn into?
Bile rose in the back of his throat, along with a bitter self loathing so strong he almost choked on it. Rinoa would surely despise him now. Even if she didn't hate him, how could she ever trust him again, knowing what he would become? Inwardly, he cursed himself, both future and present, and, for a moment, wished he had died in that Time Comprehension wasteland. Maybe then, he would never have to see the demon Squall Leonhart would become...
"Squall!"
Squall jerked out of his self loathing and realized Rinoa was standing right beside him with an irritated look on her face. He knew that look. It was the same one she gave him when he drifted off into his own private world and she had to yank him back to the present, usually after saying his name several times in a row.
"Sorry, Rin," he muttered, out of nervous habit. But he still couldn't look her in the eye. Inside, he was trembling, debating whether or not he should grab her tight and beg her not to hate him, not to leave him, because that THING she saw a few minutes ago wasn't him, it couldn't be, and even if it was, she had to give him a chance to prove himself.
Instead, he nearly jumped a foot in the air when a soft hand touched his face. Rinoa gently cupped the side of his cheek and turned his face to hers. Squall resisted just a moment, then met her gaze in resignation.
"Why are you hiding from me?" she asked softly. And, before Squall could say anything, added: "I know what you're thinking, Squall Leonhart. Do you think I don't know It's the same nightmare I face whenever I imagine Ultimacia possessing me again. That, someday in the future, I might turn on those I love the most. It's scary and frightening, and if you think about it too much, you start to hate yourself. I've certainly had my moments of hate and self-pity, where I wondered if it would just be easier to kill myself in order to spare the future my insanity.
"But, you know what?" she continued, her eyes boring into his very soul. "I've thought about it a lot; about Ultimacia and myself, and what Storm said about me, and I've come to this conclusion. The future is just that. It isn't here yet, and the only thing I can work on now is the present. I'm gonna make the present count, and hope it will be enough to change that future, because that's all I can do right now."
"What if it isn't?" Squall demanded, more out of desperation than anger. "What if you do your best to prevent that future, but it happens anyway? How can you know for sure?"
Rinoa smiled faintly. "No one can predict the future, Squall," she said, falling back on one of her old phrases. "But, we've gone through some pretty desperate times before, and came out okay. The only thing I want to be sure of is this: that I won't have to fight alone. As long as I'm with...with you," she said, faltering a bit, "I think I can face anything the future has to throw at us. As long as you're beside me..." She broke off, suddenly unsure, not wanting to embarrass him. But Squall captured her waist and drew her close again. Rinoa looked up at him with deep, trusting brown eyes, completely confident in her knight, never thinking for a moment that he would ever turn on her. Squall wished he had that confidence himself; he wanted to tell he how grateful he was. For her trust, and for turning a nightmare situation into something he could deal with. He was never good with words, so he summed up his feelings in one simple phrase that meant the world to them both.
"I'll be here," he murmured, and watched Rinoa's eyes light up with understanding.
"Waiting for you," she whispered back. He smiled and continued, reciting a promise that held a world of emotion for him, one that he never regretted, and would promise her again and again.
"So, if you come here..."
"You'll find me."
"I promise," Squall finished. Rinoa's eyes misted over and she threw her arms around his neck. Squall held her tightly, felt the beat of her heart against his own and, for a brief moment, wondered what Cid had felt when he ordered them to kill Edea, the sorceress he had failed to protect. And at that moment, on the second floor of the Ragnorock, Squall Leonhart prayed to Hyne that Rinoa would never have to look into the eyes of her own knight, and be forced to kill him.
Another chapter done, whew. My life has been so crazy lately, it's been difficult to write anything. But, I promised I would finish this and I will. Thanks to all who have reviewed. I'm glad that there are still people who love Squall and Rinoa as much as I do.
Arigato, Silverkitsune