NOTE: There is one line here from the FotR book. It is: "I spoke in the trouble of my heart" (Book 2, The Mirror of Galadriel).
Chapter Two: Shadows of the Past
Míriel and Aerandir followed King Gil-celeb as he led them through the palace. The Princess, whose face only moments ago was alight with happiness, now resumed the look most saw—cold, harsh, and stern—when she was among her people. No trace of love or warmth was visible.
Míriel greeted King Thranduil and the Lord and Lady of Lothlórien. She was not curt as she greeted them, but stern. To Lothlórien's rulers she gave a noticeably warmer welcome.
"Suilaid, mellyn! Long unnumbered years have passed since last we met. Now we meet on the verge of a great event that will rule the fate of many, both Elves and Men. May Eru guide and protect those who fight, be they friends or kin." Gil-celeb said solemnly.
The gathered Elves murmured silent prayers. King Thranduil bowed his head momentarily. When he raised it, his eyes shone brightly.
"It is lucky indeed that you come while my daughter, Míriel, is present. She is a very ardent warrior, one of my best captains. She has just returned from a mission." Gil-celeb said.
Thranduil met Míriel's gaze, but she turned her head. The Princess found herself gazing into Lady Galadriel's gray Eldarin eyes. She felt as if the Noldo was capable of baring her soul and exposing her heart's desires and greatest secrets. Memories flashed through her mind, each darker than the first, and Lady Galadriel perceived them all. Míriel heard the Lady's voice in her mind.
'Please, stop, I beg you!' Míriel pleaded with her silently.
A dark room...shadows along the wall...footsteps coming closer—
Míriel gasped suddenly and turned her back on the Lady. Aerandir caught her in his arms, a worried look on his face.
"You were trembling!" he said.
From behind, the Lady Galadriel spoke.
"A beautiful daughter. I see she is very strong." she said slowly.
Gil-celeb, looking anxiously at Míriel, turned quickly to Galadriel.
"Le hannon." he told her.
The guests followed Gil-celeb inside the palace, where a great feast was prepared and waiting for them in the dining hall. Aerandir took Míriel into an empty room, closing the door behind them, so they could have some privacy.
"My Princess?" he asked softly. "Míriel?"
She was silent for some time.
"She—Lady Galadriel—gazed at me, Aerandir!" Míriel whispered.
"What is wrong with that?" he said.
"I heard many times, and countless tales, of those who fall under the gaze of the Lady Galadriel. Some never remain the same, they become estranged—wholly changed. When she looked at me, I felt naked, completely vulnerable and helpless. She did not look at me, she looked into me, Aerandir. She perceived me as a whole—what I am made of, my desires, my memories, everything. And she spoke into my mind."
Aerandir understood.
"She bared your heart and soul?" he said.
Míriel nodded.
"They came to me, and she saw them, my greatest fears!" she said, almost inaudibly.
Aerandir drew his arms around her.
"That was the reason for your trembling. Henion. Yet the Lady saw all this and knows the pain you still bear. Did she not say, 'I see she is very strong'?" he told her.
Míriel looked into his eyes.
"I live because of you, Aerandir. This you know well. Secretly I named you my life, for that is what you are." she said.
Aerandir smiled broadly.
"I deserve no such name, Lady. Yet, I am greatly honored." he said.
'You are my life, yet for this I almost lost mine.' she thought sadly.
Aerandir kissed her forehead. Then, taking her arm, they joined the feast. Gil-celeb smiled upon seeing his daughter.
"Ai, Míriel, there you are!" he cried.
Lady Galadriel gave her a small smile.
"I leave you now, hiril nín." Aerandir said.
"What do you mean?" cried Míriel, standing up quickly and knocking over her goblet in haste.
"I have duty tonight." Aerandir replied.
Míriel looked earnestly at her sire.
"I relieve you tonight." Gil-celeb said.
"I must go, hîr nín. Goheno nin, Míriel. I shall see you tomorrow." Aerandir said to her.
Míriel watched him leave sadly. She sank into her seat beside Thranduil, not desiring food. The Elvenking smiled to himself.
"Aerandir is my best captain in the army. He is an advisor to me as well, my most trusted man. I think rather highly of him." Gil-celeb said.
"He appears very noble." Thranduil said.
"I have such a man in my service as well. Haldir is his name." Celeborn said. "Very fine."
The three lords then began to speak about matters dealing with their most loyal subjects. Míriel, not wanting to be looked upon once more by Lady Galadriel, left the feast. King Thranduil followed her.
"Still he tries." Gil-celeb sighed.
"You know Thranduil much better than I do. Once something enters his mind, he persues it to whatever end." Celeborn said.
"The end will sadden him. It will come as a surprise to all, even to Míriel. She will lose what is most dear first." Galadriel said.
Gil-celeb pondered her words.
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Míriel went out onto a balcony. Leaning against the rail, she looked upwards into the dark, starry sky. Her meeting with Lady Galadriel still troubled her. She had said something disturbing concerning Aerandir.
"What a beautiful night."
Míriel spun around.
"You!" she hissed sharply.
Thranduil smiled and went beside her.
"Indeed, it is I." he said.
Míriel's upper lip curled.
"Still sly." she said coldly.
"Cold, yet more beautiful." Thranduil told her indifferently.
"I am no mere concubine or slave! How dare you speak to me in that manner!" she told him bitterly.
Thranduil grasped her shoulders firmly and turned her around. Before Míriel knew what had happened, Thranduil's tongue was in her mouth. She tried to break away, but he pressed her firmly against him. Fear, from a past memory, swept over her. At last, she broke away.
"You exceeded your limits!" she told him furiously.
"I cannot deny my love to you, Míriel! You must wed me!" Thranduil said.
"On what basis? You stole my sire's land! You only pretended to be his friend to gain power! You are very proud, and I cannot deal with that! Even more important, I do not love you. How do you want me to wed you if I do not love you?" Míriel shouted.
"I never stole your sire's land! Love will come later. As for you declaring that I am proud, look at yourself!" Thranduil replied heatedly.
Míriel's eyes flashed dangerously.
"If you knew half of the horrors I lived—and still live—through, you would be the same. My imprisonment in Dol Guldur greatly changed me. I was not like this before, which you know well, because you were attracted to me before I changed." she said.
Thranduil was shocked. He never knew that Míriel was imprisoned in Dol Guldur. Her last sentence was the truth, and this he knew.
"Míriel…I sincerely apologize. I know not of your imprisonment in Dol Guldur." Thranduil said.
She faced him slowly.
"Thranduil…I blame you not. A dark shadow has fallen on me, and I suffer endlessly. Lies were fed to me, and of one I must repent now. I must apologize to you about saying that you stole my sire's land. I spoke in the trouble of my heart. I am troubled constantly, and my actions now are a result of my imprisonment, and the lies that I harkened to. You must understand, Thranduil, that though I appear cold, internally I am not so. I used to despise you, thinking you heartless. But now I understand; I have become like you in demeanor." Míriel said.
"Then you forgive me?" Thranduil breathed.
"You are forgiven." the Princess replied.
"Will you wed me?"
Míriel turned to him with a small, sad, smile on her face.
"Celebrindal was my dear friend, and your beloved wife. She was perfect for you, a sweet, patient woman. Spouses must complete each other, Thranduil. Your pride and quick temper were washed away by her understanding and patience. Everything you are she was opposite. That is why we would not last long together. We both have strong wills and minds. If we wedded and I disagreed with you over something it would be disastrous because we both would want the opposite." she said quietly.
"We do not complete each other; we are equal."
"You speak wisdom, Míriel. Now you are what you were: the warm Míriel I knew before you changed wholly. If you wed me, I promise to change." Thranduil implored.
Míriel's eyes sparkled.
"I am betrothed, and him I truly love. For he is everything to me that dear Celebrindal was to you. You shall not change, but I will do so. I have tired of listening to the dark shadows of my heart, and hesitating to trust those I know are trustworthy. I beg you to forgive my rash statement, Thranduil. It came from a broken lady." she told him.
"You are forgiven, Princess. I knew not you are betrothed." he said.
"Too long have you dwelled without a wife. Go and cleave to one like Celebrindal." Míriel said warmly.
"At least we part in friendship?" Thranduil asked her quietly.
Míriel smiled broadly.
"In renewed eternal friendship." she replied.
Then she bade him goodnight and went to her bedchamber.
Sindarin Translations:
Suilaid: greetings Mellyn: friends
Le hannon: I thank thee Henion: I understand
Ai: Ah Hîr nín: my lord
Goheno nin: forgive me Hiril nín: my lady