Hi guys, thanks for reviewing! I really do appreciate any input or criticism that you might have. I wrote this story as a sort of experimental art piece to explore the conflicts and relationships that people can have with one another. It's not about labeling characters or pairing characters with one another, so I'm sorry if I offended anyone. Wow, I'm proud of you for making it this far! I know it's a little long-winded, but I wanted to make it as realistic as possible, and to perhaps analyze our beloved Kakashi to death 9_9 – luv Echidna

Mon imagination me torture j'peux pas dormir
Ecrire me fait peur, j'peux pas dormir
J'ai besoin de toi près de moi

My imagination tortures me, I cannot sleep
Manifesting my own fears, I cannot sleep
I need you close to me

Kakashi drove to the studio in a gloomy mood. He and Zabuza had had fights before, but ever since they formed Insomnie, things had been peaceful. Until now.

Kakashi rubbed absently at the side of his face as he walked down the hall, ignoring the people he usually greeted in the morning. Still rubbing, he entered the soundproof booth.

They all turned to look at him. "You're late," Asuma said.

"Hn." All the equipment had already been set up. Ignoring Zabuza, he bent down to pick up his black guitar.

"With all due respect, you look like shit today." Gaara.

"Hn."

"I won't even ask," Asuma said, rolling his eyes. "Well, you know what to do. I'll be in the conference room until you're done." With that, he left.

Now that all three of them were in privacy, the tension began.

Zabuza suddenly made a really loud rap on his drum that threw Kakashi off balance. Then Zabuza began practicing, drowning out the sounds of Kakashi's attempt at guitar tuning. Kakashi bent down and turned up the volume of his amplifiers.

Screeching feedback sent his band mates and the technicians in the other room in ear-splitting hell. "Will you shut that thing off?" Zabuza yelled, pulling the plug on his guitar.

"Don't you ever…touch…my guitar," Kakashi said dangerously, staring up at his former friend. His face was beginning to hurt.

Zabuza just looked the bruise on Kakashi's face up and down in the most degrading manner. "What happened to you?" Zabuza scoffed, walking away. "Been bitch-slapped by that little boy of yours?"

Zabuza was intentionally provoking him. "Well, at least I didn't have sex with a hermaphrodite," Kakashi replied calmly.

Gaara looked back and forth at them, suddenly interested. "What hermaphrodite?"

Zabuza gave Kakashi a dark look, dark enough to kill. Kakashi ignored him and continued tuning his guitar.

They launched into "Black Rain", one of the first songs they ever played together as a band. While Gaara sung the lyrics eerily, Kakashi placed all of his emotion into the riffs. But something was a little off….

He looked towards Zabuza. Zabuza was forgetting to do something. Kakashi suddenly stopped playing. Gaara gradually died down and looked at him questioningly.

"That was supposed to be a three-quarter beat," Kakashi stated, staring down at Zabuza. "You played a three-eighth."

"Oh, did I?" Zabuza wondered, infuriating Kakashi even more. "And who is the drummer here, Hatake? I have been playing here for fifteen years. I think I would know the difference between a three-quarter and a three-eighth more than you would." Zabuza crossed his arms.

"Just let it go," Gaara said, touching Kakashi's arm. "We're only practicing anyway."

Kakashi glared at Zabuza warningly. As the composer to most of their songs, Kakashi expected only perfection from his band mates and they expected no less from him. But that three-eighth was just butchering it.

They practiced for the rest of the afternoon, not being very productive. Even Gaara noted a lag in their usual practice sessions.

"I'm going out for a smoke," Gaara said, putting down his bass guitar. "Kakashi?"

Kakashi nodded and followed Gaara out. Time away from Zabuza at this point would be a blessing.

Kakashi and Gaara stood outside the record company offices, taking a much-needed break.

"So," Gaara said, blowing smoke out his mouth, "what hermaphrodite?"

Kakashi looked down at Gaara incredulously. "Not you, too."

"You can trust me," Gaara said, glancing up at him. "If there's anything that's making you guys bitch like school-girls, I think I should know about it."

Kakashi scratched his head. Sometimes, Gaara was more level-headed than he liked to admit. After having an inner debate with his conscious, he finally spilled the beans on Zabuza's affair with his ex-roadie and Gaara laughed, upon hearing Haku's name again.

"But don't tell Kurenai," Kakashi said, meaning it.

Gaara slowly nodded. "And your face?"

"Long story," Kakashi replied, crushing his cigarette beneath his feet. Talking about it would be too painful. In more than one way.

Gaara did not pry further and, for that, Kakashi was grateful. "Come to my place after practice, and I'll get you something for that bruise."

Kakashi was surprised at Gaara for the second time that day. "You mean it?"

Gaara grinned, which meant that he was smiling evilly. "But you still owe me a dick girl."

Six in the evening had Kakashi following Gaara to his apartment. Now that Kakashi and Zabuza were on bad terms, Kakashi found the solace of his other band member oddly comforting. It never occurred to him how responsible Gaara had to be in order to maintain flat rent, food, bills; basically everything a young man living in Tokyo had to manage in order to survive. He also marveled at how Gaara could keep not only one girl happy, but two. Kakashi scratched his head and wondered if that was also the reason why he was willfully following Gaara to his place.

Sakura opened the door before Gaara even dug out his keys. "Gaara!" she said, pouncing on him. She was wearing…a black playboy cat outfit. "Oh, Kakashi!" she said, blushing. "I didn't know you'd be here too."

"He's here to fix up his face," Gaara said, walking inside. Sakura took one of Kakashi's hands in both of hers and walked backwards, dragging him inside.

"Are you sure I'm not intruding on anything?" Kakashi said, looking at Sakura's body suit significantly.

"Hmph," Gaara said, casually walking down the hall. "They do this all the time."

That was when Ino walked past dressed as a Gothic Lolita. Her cleavage busted out of the little maid's outfit and she held a silver tray containing several condiments. "Tart?" she asked, offering her platter to Kakashi.

"Ah, no thanks," Kakashi replied, blushing like a school boy. Ino turned her head and continued walking down the hall mechanically.

"Ino and Sakura will fix you up," Gaara said, stretching and cracking a few bones. "I'm going to take a nap. Wake me up when we go out." He entered his, Ino, and Sakura's shared bedroom and shut the door behind him.

"Our poor Gaara. He must be so tired," Ino said, eating one of her tarts.

"We must have kept him up too late," whispered Sakura, glancing at the doorway. Then they both turned and stared at Kakashi.

"What?" said Kakashi, getting nervous.

Pushing him down on the couch, they started.

"You know, I was always partial to pink," Sakura said, painting his nails. She held up his hand. "What do you think?"

"Make it black," Ino ordered, legs on either side of Kakashi and powdering up his face. Her breasts were almost rubbing against his face and he averted his gaze upward, being the gentleman that he was.

Fixing up his bruise involved a spa treatment with scented oils and various fruit slices while Kakashi lay back on the couch with his feet propped on the coffee table. He had no idea what Sakura and Ino were doing to him, but decided it was best not to displease the two cats, since he saw Sakura playing with a real live whip just an hour ago. Once in a while, Sakura or Ino would feed him a grape to satiate his hunger. Once, juice from a grape accidentally ran down his chin and Sakura casually LICKED it off. All in all it was a very…pleasant evening.

"You have nice skin," Ino said absently, touching up his face with what looked like a black eye pencil. "This will go well with your mask."

Sakura knelt on his left and started applying gel to flatten his wild hair. She styled it so that it fell dramatically to one side, revealing his red eye.

Ino sat facing him on his lap and looked at her and Sakura's handiwork. "Perfect," she whispered.

"Can I…look at myself in the mirror?" Kakashi asked, slightly worried.

Ino and Sakura each took one of Kakashi's hands and led him to the bathroom.

Kakashi stared at his new image in the mirror. He blinked and the man in the mirror blinked back. Was that really him?

"Do you like it? Do you like it?" Sakura said, grabbing him about the waist and swinging herself around.

"It's…actually okay," Kakashi replied, experimentally glaring. The man glaring back at him looked like an SM lover and the eye shadow and bangs made him look…very mysterious. He grinned, but he wasn't sure if Ino or Sakura saw.

"Okay, let's wake Gaara up and we'll go out and have fun!" Sakura said, pouncing out of the room.

Ino crossed her arms beside him and they looked at each other's reflections. Then she reached up, adjusted his tie so that it hung messily and loosely about his neck and stood back. She nodded.

Well…at least the bruise was gone. That was when Gaara entered, still rubbing his eyes. He stopped and appraised Kakashi's new look critically. "Damn, you make me wish I was gay." Then he walked out and, behind him, Sakura winked.

"It means he approves," Ino said mysteriously, hooking her arm through Kakashi's and leading him out. For a second, Kakashi's heart nearly stopped. Not Gaara, too!

It was time to experiment on his new look. Walking outside, they went to the nearest noodle restaurant. All four of them sat, starving individuals with the look of jadedness in their eyes.

Kakashi was surprised to see that Sakura and Ino both went out in their cat and maid outfits. Then it just occurred to Kakashi that he himself probably looked the freakiest out of the bunch. Furtive glances and curiously shy stares made Kakashi second-guess on his new image.

"You'll get used to it," Ino said quietly from beside him, slurping on her noodles. The image of Gothic Ino eating noodles seemed to him strange. Kakashi nodded, trying to blend in. These kids were way ahead of their times. Or maybe he was just getting old. Convinced that he would not be left behind, he continued acting like himself, and slowly relaxed and became more comfortable. He was still Kakashi, no matter what anyone said.

They went out into the bustling night streets, Gaara and Sakura hooking arms in front with Kakashi and Ino following obediently behind. Ino treated him almost like a toy, making sure he didn't mess up his hair or accidentally smudge his makeup. She marched proudly with her new creation beside her, and Kakashi kept his hands in his pockets – the only safe place he could put them, it seemed. The streets they entered appeared to be getting darker and stranger.

Kakashi and Ino were quiet as they walked side-by-side behind Gaara and his escort. Getting uncomfortable, Kakashi decided to strike a conversation. "So," he said, gesturing in front of him. "How did you all meet?"

Ino stared at him, as if the thought never occurred to her before. "We're all high school friends," she said finally, blowing the bangs out of her white face. "Me and Sakura were best friends before that. Gaara took us both in, because Sakura and I vowed that we would do everything together." She glanced up at Kakashi's confused face. "It's a girl thing."

"Ah, I see…" Kakashi said, even though he didn't see at all. "Then…don't you ever get jealous of each other?"

Ino thought about that. "Sakura and I play different roles. Sakura is the little sister while I am the big sister. I don't mind being the big sister. I like being in charge. As long as we don't impede on each other's roles, it is fine." She gazed wistfully at Gaara and Sakura laughing ahead. Kakashi suddenly felt that he was imposing on her personal territory. Just as quickly, the look on Ino's face was gone and she held Kakashi firmer, making sure that her creation stayed on a short leash. Ino suddenly felt very small and petite beside him. Her maid outfit only compounded that fact.

They walked up a narrow flight of cobbled stairs, and that was when the alleyway suddenly transformed into a world of neon lights, bustling individuals, and outdoor marketplaces. Except it wasn't a market for the conventional, Japanese citizen. This was a place where Gaara, Ino, and Sakura called home.

It was a marketplace for fetishes. A place where people fulfill their every sexual fantasy, alone or otherwise, a place of meeting, of putting yourself on vulgar display, or of hooking up with an unlikely stranger without leaving ties the next morning. To put it bluntly – an SM paradise.

It was just then that Kakashi realized that he looked normal compared to these special denizens of the night. Kakashi saw body parts that were pierced in places that he thought humanly impossible, pieces of pale flesh peeping lewdly from strips of torn fabric, torturous bodily contraptions that fulfilled the masochist's every want and desire, and etcetera. It was an endless possibility. Were these the types of people that listened to the music of Insomnie?

A guy walked by on all fours, kept on a leash by a haughty woman. The guy sniffed at Kakashi's pant leg but the woman immediately cinched up the leash, strangling the man. The man seemed to like it though, and started panting in unforeseeable pleasure. Ino held a hand to her lips contemplatively.

"I think I'm going to get a tattoo," Gaara said, eyeing the tattoo counter.

"Really, Gaara? Where are you going to get it?" Sakura asked, gazing at Gaara like he was her hero.

"On my forehead."

Kakashi's eyes widened. "That's a little a sudden. Have you thought about it?"

Gaara nodded. "Just now." And, before anyone could say anything, he was off to the tattoo counter, Sakura following uselessly behind.

"I wonder what he's going to get?" Kakashi surmised.

"Knowing Gaara, probably something red," Ino replied, not overly concerned. "Come, let's go this way," she said, leading her Kakashi-doll. Kakashi followed obediently behind, not wanting to get lost. They delved deeper into the black mob.

They passed a stall selling love potions and poisons ("Torture the one you love!" the proprietor shouted, "Be a slave to the one you hate!"), another selling bedroom clothing consisting of leather undergarments with strategic zippers (Kakashi contemplated a male underwear with a VERY interesting shape), and generally passed stalls selling nipple rings, penile foreskin rings, or whichever location happened to be popular or erotic at the moment. It was to one of these stalls that Ino decided to stop, looking several rings and spikes over up and down.

"Thinking of getting one?" Kakashi asked, looking at Ino's ears, which she had already pierced top and bottom with rings and adornments. Unless, of course, there was another location that he was missing….

"Yes. For you." Finally deciding on a mock diamond stud, the woman doing the piercings (she had a ring right through the central cartilaginous regions of her nose) told him to have a seat on a dirty stool.

Kakashi stepped back, but Ino held a long-fingernailed hand to his neck and started tickling his jugular vein as it throbbed, rapidly, within the confines of her grip. "Are you scared, Kakashi?" she asked, voice as frigid as ice.

It's not that he was scared. It's just that he didn't like rushing into permanent bodily mutations that could potentially ruin his reputation. "Ah, no."

Still leading Kakashi by the neck, Ino made him slowly sit on the stool while the woman began sterilizing her equipment. "Where do you want it?" she asked.

Kakashi did not "want" anything. He was about to say so but Ino came up behind him and smooshed her breasts against his neck so that it felt like he was lying on a soft cushion. "You've trusted me up to this far," Ino said to him, her breath making his bangs tickle against his forehead. "Can you do this just once, for me? You just wouldn't be complete without it."

Kakashi felt hypnotized against Ino's soft voice (or maybe it was just her boobs pressing into the back of his neck) but Kakashi closed his eyes, his cautious signal of agreement.

"We'll do the ears," Ino said, military-like. "Left side."

"Wait—," Kakashi said. Didn't the left side mean you were gay? Or was it the right side?

"Why don't you just do both ears," the propriertor said, smirking at the look on Kakashi's face. And, while Ino held his head down, the piercing specialist punctured Kakashi's virgin ears with the accursed diamond studs. Through his mask, Kakashi gritted his teeth.

Though the pain of the piercing was only temporary, his ears were beginning to throb now. Both sides. Ino looked happy as she dragged Kakashi through the street in search of her beloved Gaara.

They caught Gaara at a particularly dark booth drinking blood. At the sound of Ino's voice, Gaara whirled around, a bloody moustache adorning his upper lip. A large, red tattoo of the word "love" was plastered on the left side of his forehead. Overall, the effect made him look just a little crazed.

"I love it," Ino said, kissing his forehead. Gaara grinned, revealing bloody gums and teeth stained with red.

Kakashi unconsciously reached up and touched his studs while Sakura gasped, hands on her cheeks. "They are SO you. I love it!" Ino smiled at Kakashi secretly, in a "I told you so" manner. Gaara smiled at him as well, although what his smile exactly meant at that moment could have been put up for interpretation.

Kakashi cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Let's go," he said, marching out with hands in his pockets while Gaara and his girls followed behind, laughing. If he lingered much longer in this place, he was afraid of what he would do to himself next.

Gaara wouldn't let him go until he had pilfered the money out of Kakashi's pockets for another dick-girl. Wallet empty, Kakashi trudged home, feeling as if he was undergoing withdrawal from the toxic high that Gaara and his girls had granted him this sultry night.

He almost missed the figure standing by his doorstep as he dug in his pockets for his keys. Maybe it was his new hairstyle that blocked his vision. Or something. Either way, it wasn't until he had put one foot through the door that the person called out to him. "Kakashi."

Kakashi turned slowly, expecting to find someone in his line of vision, then slowly looked down. It was Sasuke.

Kakashi immediately panicked and blinked several times. What was Sasuke doing here?

"You said I could visit," Sasuke said, looking down uneasily and shuffling his feet. He was still in his summer schoolboy uniform and his white ankle socks in his standard school shoes had a little dirt on them. "I…wasn't sure when you'd be home…so…."

Did Sasuke really wait for him here all day? As an adult, Kakashi felt a little embarrassed that he hadn't left the kid a clearer note earlier, but he had just been so panicked about…yesterday…that he didn't have time to plan anything.

"I'm sorry," Kakashi said, wondering why he said so, but it was worth it because Sasuke immediately looked up again and smiled cautiously, shyly, at him.

"Why don't you come in," Kakashi said, having a lack of anything better to say and feeling highly obligated right now.

Sasuke nodded and stepped in front of Kakashi while Kakashi followed after, closing the door behind him.

They were alone together in the dark hallway. Sasuke was just standing in front of him, facing him. Kakashi wondered what he was supposed to do next.

"The lights," Sasuke said, pointing upwards.

Of course! The lights…the lights…. Kakashi fumbled around in the dark for a bit, temporarily forgetting where the light switch was, since he hardly used it. He ended up crashing into his shoe stand before finally pounding on the light switch beside the door.

The lights came on painfully and Kakashi squinted and covered his eye, a fallen victim among the shoe stands and the dark outline of Sasuke simply staring down at him. Sasuke stepped forward and turned off the lights again.

"I'm sorry," Sasuke said, bending down over him. "I never realized you were…sensitive to light."

Sasuke was standing a little too close for comfort. "I'm okay," Kakashi said, trying to scrabble up. Sasuke stepped backwards, giving him room. "Um…you go on ahead and have a seat on the couch. I'll grab you something to eat." Sasuke nodded obediently and made his way carefully down the rest of the hallway to the living room and Kakashi sighed in relief. Interacting with Sasuke was almost like…taking care of a baby. The baby would follow him wherever with those googly eyes of his, while he had to tell it to do this and that…. Not that he'd ever interacted with a baby before, but this is what he imagined child sitting to be like. With that thought in mind, Kakashi rapidly peeled some fresh fruit in the dark, poured two cups of boiling tea, and brought everything out on a small tray. Not bad for an improv.

When he stepped out to his living room, Sasuke was kneeling in front of his t.v., examining his stacks of porn tapes. Oh, he had completely forgotten. "Fruit!" Kakashi said, placing the tray on the very edge of the coffee table, farthest from the porn tapes. Sasuke looked up from his shout, embarrassingly placed said porn tape back down (it was one Kakashi still had in the VCR) and crawled over, beckoned by the enticing orange slices. Kakashi nodded approvingly, and almost wanted to pat the boy's head, but he didn't and, instead, took a cup of tea and tried to sit back as royally as possible, trying to distract the boy into thinking a stately man like him would never watch something as dirty as that…even though he clearly lived alone. He kicked some dirty magazines under his couch.

Sasuke knelt on the carpet in front of him, drinking his tea. Kakashi pretended not to notice that Sasuke was examining his new hair and overall new look. When he finally looked Sasuke's way, Sasuke looked back down and continued eating his orange slices. For some reason, he was itching to know what Sasuke thought – that is, being the first outsider to see his look – but settled to thinking that if Sasuke didn't say anything, then that was a good thing.

"Did you just get them pierced today?" Sasuke asked, honing in right on the target. Sasuke seemed to have this unnerving ability to deduce the unspoken.

"Yes," Kakashi said, tilting his head and reaching up to scratch the earlobe. "Is it awful?" Kakashi asked with earnest.

Sasuke rapidly shook his head, as if Kakashi was accusing him of something. "I like it," Sasuke said. "I like all of it."

Oh, no. This was not a good sign. Clearing his throat loudly, Kakashi crossed his legs and resumed drinking his tea. "So, tell me about yourself," Kakashi said, trying to veer the conversation topic away from himself.

"Well…as you've already guessed, I'm in Iruka-sensei's class. I'm sixteen this year. I, uh, really love your music. Listening to it always brightens up my day." Sasuke smiled. Kakashi realized that he still didn't know anything at all about this kid. General fodder.

"How did you know we were brothers?"

"Well, I…overhead Iruka talking to you on the phone one day. Then he brought this basket of fruit to class and he said he was bringing it to his brother, so I put two and two together and followed…Iruka-sensei to your place."

"In the hopes that I would know where your brother, Itachi, is?"

"Yes. Something like that." Sasuke gazed up at him, as if wondering if Kakashi would believe his story.

Kakashi looked away and tried to think. It all seemed too…implausible. Sure, searching out Kakashi would be a good way to perhaps discover the whereabouts about your brother, but it all seemed so…random. There were better ways to go about doing these things. This kind of search and interrogate seemed more like the stuff from old detective movies. So why was Sasuke here?

Sasuke had finished all the orange slices and now he stepped over Kakashi's leg and sat beside him, looking down at his dark shorts. Kakashi looked over and realized how tiny and skinny the kid actually was. Had Kakashi really been like that, once? No way….

Sasuke was fiddling with his fingers and Kakashi suddenly realized how nervous the kid actually was. His hands were actually trembling and Kakashi placed his cup of tea down. "What is the matter?" he asked softly.

Kakashi could see the kid trying to form words from his mouth but nothing came through. He could faintly see the bruised lip in the dark and this brought back heady moments of yesterday on a school bleacher on a sunny afternoon. The moment of realization hit him.

"I feel so dirty for doing this," Sasuke said, and Kakashi suddenly spotted a side of the kid that he had never seen before. "But is it really wrong to love someone who brings a touch of hope to every day?"

Something was going on with this kid. He could see the pain and hope in this kid's eyes battling for domination in its swirly depths. Something…or someone…was severely hurting this kid (the bruise accounted for that fact, he was sure of it), but he also got the feeling that it was the choice of Sasuke, as well. But no one, no one, would want to get hurt like this. This Kakashi knew for a fact.

"Who's hurting you?" Kakashi asked, brows furrowing. Sasuke wasn't the only one who could deduce the unspoken. Sasuke's eyes widened, then he looked down. He was looking down at the hand that was resting on his thigh.

Kakashi realized that, in his passion, he had inadvertently drew closer to the kid. He was about to draw his hand away when Sasuke rested his own small hand on his own and started exploring the veins and roughs and eddies of the back of Kakashi's hand. Kakashi's hand, on Sasuke's bare thigh, could not move.

Sasuke's lips were parted as he started singing the words mutely of an unknown nursery song. His finger swirled across Kakashi's hand in a whirlpool shape where it suddenly swung up on its path, above the sleeve of the suit…Sasuke grabbed his bicep and swung himself upwards (no, no…) and Kakashi realized that his hand was now in the boy's erogenous regions. Kakashi chose to curl his fingers to draw his hand away but that just made him accidentally brush his balls, something…and Sasuke shoved himself down, on Kakashi's hand.

"Please…take me," Sasuke whispered, high-pitched. Sasuke was gripping his shoulder now and Kakashi was alarmed at the sudden turn in events. Sasuke started unbuttoning the fly of his shorts with his other hand. No, this was wrong, wrong….

Kakashi looked down at the kid's erection that was surely but steadily pointed straight at him. The tip was already moistened with pre-ejaculate. For some reason, seeing Sasuke's desire appeared to spur him on (it was something he always saw on his porn tapes but this was real life and Sasuke was waiting for him to do something, anything!). Kakashi's hand was about to reach up…then he stopped. He wasn't gay.

The boy was tearing now. Frustrated (his balls must be aching), he grabbed Kakashi and made him touch it, and Sasuke gasped.

Kakashi held Sasuke's manhood incredulously and the kid seemed to be gaining pleasure from it. It was just like masturbation, Kakashi told himself. Except it wasn't on himself. Wanting to give the kid pleasure despite himself, Kakashi started slowly rubbing, in a way that he thought he himself would like. Sasuke moved up and down against his hand and, all too soon, the familiar spurt of semen from total and complete pleasure burst upwards…and onto Kakashi's shirt. Sasuke leaned forward and hugged Kakashi, arms exhausted over his shoulders while Kakashi still held his dick, contemplating. "I love you," Sasuke whispered into his shoulder.

Did this constitute love? Kakashi wondered. Sasuke looked really, really happy and Kakashi bent down to kiss the kid's neck through the mask…and realized that Sasuke had another (this one, severely) ravaged mark on his neck, one with red welts that could only have appeared from repeated biting. It was like a hickey on overkill. Kakashi paused and Sasuke slowly reached up to cover the horrible mark. He slipped himself out of Kakashi's grasp and huddled himself into a ball on the opposite side of the couch. What was going on?

Kakashi reached out to try to touch the boy, but Sasuke flinched violently, almost as if he was having a spasm. Kakashi withdrew his hand. Sasuke was crying. "Why…why does he have to bother me?" he said quietly.

"Who…who's bothering you?" The guy (guy!) whom Sasuke was referring to was probably the same abuser who gave him that bruised lip. "Have you…been raped?" Kakashi found the question highly odd, but he supposed it could happen, seeing that the boy was so innocent…or not.

Sasuke looked so exhausted, lying there. He appeared to be staring off into space, seeing images that Kakashi would never see. He really was the most pitiful person he had ever met. Digging his hands beneath Sasuke's back, Kakashi braced himself and lifted the prone Sasuke up (he was a lot lighter than he thought he'd be) and carried him over to his bedroom. Kicking some of the bed sheets aside, he laid Sasuke on one of his pillows and carefully pulled the sheets over his shoulders. Sasuke was holding himself now, shivering, although it was clearly quite warm in the room.

Kakashi stood beside the bed, wondering what he should do. This boy was very confusing. First, he was all over him on the couch, and now he was withdrawing into his little shell, refusing to be touched. Kakashi entered his bathroom where he decided to…wash his hands. As he washed his hands, soap running through his fingers, he thought about what he had done this night, the feel of the boy's dick through his fingers. He just realized how much trust the kid placed in him in that moment. Kakashi could have crushed him, so easily. His fingers stiffened, cold water running across his hands, and he quickly turned off the tap and dried them. He looked at his reflection in the mirror.

He really did look like he needed more sleep. He still saw a stranger when he looked in the mirror. This wasn't him. What was he thinking, getting a makeover like this? Iruka was always complaining that he did rash things. He supposed he could add this to his other list of rash actions that he had accumulated, including…. Kakashi turned back and inspected the sleeping boy, then slowly turned back. At the end of the day, he always ended up doing things he regretted.

He splashed some water on his face, trying to get the makeup off. Wash as hard as he might, however, he just…couldn't remove it. Kakashi looked at his reflection, which was now a runny mess of smudged eyeliner. Grabbing a towel, he dried some of his face. How did Ino take this stuff off? His memory tried to go back to the times when the makeup artists were applying cosmetics and what they had done to his face afterwards. They used a special chemical…but Kakashi had no way of attaining that now in the middle of the night. Throwing the towel down on the floor, he fell back and sat on the floor of his washroom. He really needed a smoke right about now to calm his nerves. Tomorrow…tomorrow could wait. Struggling up, he changed into his pajamas and veered over to his living where he would be spending the rest of the night. He could hear Sasuke mumbling in his sleep on his bed, tossing and turning.

Kakashi lay on the couch and stared at his reflection in the television screen. He did that for much of the night, until sleep claimed him right into the early hours before dawn.

Credits: Top verse by Les Nubians - Insomnie