Chapter 28-
The Cry of the Planet
"-And a cloud, dense, dismal, and limitless, does it not hang eternally between they hopes and heaven?"
~William Wilson, Edgar Allen Poe
The moon hung bright and full against the black velvet sky, bathing the mountains in silver light. It had a soothing, gentling affect on the jagged, rocky scenery. Strangely enough, few stars dotted the sky, most were covered by clouds. Overall, the harsh mountain landscape seemed unusually gentle tonight, as though time itself was frozen.
Aeris looked around, appreciating the beauty, as she picked her way along the mountain path. Most of the others had retired already, at Cloud's suggestion. They would reach the reactor early tomorrow, and resting up sounded good.
But there was one member of the party that would not be asleep, that would sit alone late into the night. He'd said little today, but Aeris knew he was constantly haunted by dark visions, reminders of his bloody past. He was afraid- oh, he was terrified by this one enemy he could not defeat- but Reno would not ask for help. He would not let any interfere in this battle he had to fight alone.
She realized she was smiling sadly, even though she felt more like sobbing. Odd. It seemed the first time she'd smiled for…a long time. Up ahead, the glow of a small campfire parted the darkness.
By the time she'd reached the fire, Reno had gotten to his feet and had his nightstick out. Aeris stepped slowly into view, and he sighed, as though disappointed he didn't get to fight someone, and put his weapon away. Collapsing once again on a flat rock, he studied his hands. "What do you want, Aeris?"
Ignoring his somewhat unenthusiastic greeting, she sank down on the rock beside him. Reno didn't seem to see her; he was still staring steadily at his hands, one folded over the other to hide the Sresla. He was waiting for her to leave.
"Reno," she said quietly, trying to catch his eye. "Why are you still awake, all alone?"
"Don't pretend you don't know," he snapped. He stiffened, turning slightly away from her. Aeris sighed. He was retreating into his shell again, the way he'd been when she first met him. Adopting that tough-guy attitude where anything he said was too much, and any attempts to pry were received with hostility.
"Reno…" She touched his shoulder. "Don't shut me out." There was so much she wanted to say to him, to tell him, but the words wouldn't come out. She couldn't reach him like this. "I…I don't want to lose you yet!" A thin note of despondency had entered her voice, and she was shocked to realize she was close to tears.
Reno heaved a long sigh, then turned to look at her. His face was like stone, but when he spoke, his tone showed more emotion than could ever be physically expressed. "Aeris…there's…I don't have much time left. I can tell." As if on cue, he started coughing, hacking uncontrollably. He pressed his sleeve to his mouth and leaned away. Aeris tried her best to help him, but she could do nothing.
At last, it stopped. Reno took a long breath and continued, sounding hoarse. "I can't. Go back, Aeris. Just leave me alone."
A long moment passed. Aeris whispered, "No," and moved closer. Slowly, she hooked both hands around his upper arm and pulled him toward her. He resisted at first, but her grip was firm. When they were close enough she leaned against him and rested her head on his shoulder.
He swallowed, then put his other arm around her, holding her close to him. The effort made the injury throb, but he scarcely noticed it. She was all that mattered, only her. His barriers, already feeble and weakened by her presence, were being destroyed by this one woman.
Finally, he said, "I don't want…you to cry, when it happens. You understand? I hate it, when you cry."
"That's too bad," she murmured softly. "I will anyway."
Another heartbeat, and he drew away from her a bit. She held onto his hand, the left one, the tainted one, rubbing her own hands over the deep scratches. Her touch was cool.
"Aeris…look, I…" He couldn't seem to finish. The Sresla seemed to be burning between them, pushing them apart.
She only said, "Sh," and held his hand up to her cheek. The darkness was thick about them, so that they could scarcely see each other, but they didn't need to see through the blackness. They said nothing, but they needed no words. That touch, his hand gently caressing her face, was all they had. Through the link passed a myriad of emotions: sadness, regret, love, hope, sorrow, loss…all of it passed between them, too deep to express aloud, too poignant to taint with human words.
Rain was beginning to fall, sprinkling on the last glowing embers of the fire. Thunder rumbled in the distance, coming closer. Reno traced the smooth line of her jaw once more, then allowed his hand to fall.
"A storm's coming, " he murmured. At once, the moment was gone, shattered. Aeris reached for it again.
"Let it come."
Reno pulled away from her touch. He didn't want to think of losing her, but he would. He didn't want to think of causing her pain, but it was inevitable. "Aeris, I…we can't pretend. You know what's going to happen."
"Nothing is going to happen. "She sounded fierce, vehement- he wished he could believe her. "You won't die. I won't let you. We will fight, you and I…" Her voice broke off into a sob.
"Aeris, you never were much of a liar."
"This isn't how I meant it to be." She abruptly forced herself to stop crying. "Reno, we aren't finished. I…I still owe you a date."
He couldn't help smiling, even though it was too dark to see. She was so persistent; she wouldn't let him give up hope. It was because of this he loved her.
Lightning flashed.
Aeris' face, her beautiful, perfect face, was grey and dead. Rivers of red ran from her head, from her dead staring eyes, as though she was crying blood. And Reno knew, inexplicably, in that moment before thunder, that it had been he who done this to her, he who made her cry tears of blood.
He screamed aloud and tried to run, but he couldn't move. Aeris' sightless green eyes looked at him, her flaccid lips moved as if to speak, but thunder obliterated any sound. And then she wasn't Aeris at all, she was Heantha, and then she was Kralin. And Reno couldn't stop screaming, because he'd killed them all, one way or another, out of mercy or ignorance or pure malice. And he would never be free of this thing, this demon inside of him that wouldn't let him stop killing; it would always be there, always be waiting…
"You knew, didn't you? Why you didn't want to love her?" It was unclear whether Jenova was speaking of Aeris or Heantha, but it didn't matter. It was all happening again, all over again. And he would never wash the blood from his hands, he would never be able to let go…
"Reno, stop!" Aeris cried, shaking him. "Please, stop!"
His throat was raw with screaming. Reno blinked and saw her, just barely, but he saw her leaning over him. The clouds covering the moon had moved away, and a faint bit of flowing light surrounded them. Aeris' face was wet, either with rain or freshly spilt tears. He did not want to know which.
"Thank you, Mother," she murmured when a shred of recognition entered his eyes. Then she leaned closer to stroke his face. "Was it bad?"
Reno saw he was lying on his side in the dirt. Somehow he had fallen off his seat. He sat up and found his rock again, moving very slowly, very carefully. Aeris waited patiently, though she had to be frantic with worry. Not really paying attention to her, he reached inside his coat pocket and pulled out the last flask.
His throat was really raw. Reno undid the cap and gulped as much as he could swallow. That amount of hard liquor sent even him coughing and sputtering, but it was something. Something to distract him from the icy numbness that was freezing his limbs.
"Reno, talk to me." Aeris sounded frightened. What was she frightened about? She hadn't seen what he'd seen, didn't know what he knew. She trusted him too much.
Another swallow.
Aeris ripped the flask from his hand and threw it as hard as she could. They both watched as it clattered down the rocks and rolled out of sight. Aeris looked at him, her small fists clenched. "I will not let you give up on herself!" she said, sounding choked. He turned his head and stared at her. She was breathing hard. "No more of that. Talk to me, Reno. What happened?" she whispered. She knelt beside him and looked into his eyes. "Please."
He stared at her another moment, then answered. "Aeris, I would never hurt you. You have to believe me."
She put her arms around him. "I believe you," she said softly.
That was because she knew when he was lying. Reno grimaced and wondered if she would otherwise. Still, he had the feeling she would.
He shut his eyes and tried to concentrate on only her, but the Sresla was there and would not let him. Was he really capable…?
"I'm sorry, Aeris," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."
Just then, a horrible sound pierced the air. Aeris jerked away and pressed her hands to her ears. Reno wanted to do the same, but the sheer horror of the sound held him frozen. It was like one long, endless shriek of pain and fear and suffering.
At last, it ended, only to begin anew. Reno wanted to shriek along with it, find somewhere to hide. Find the source and choke it off, anything!
And Aeris…
The scream filled her entire body, attacking, killing, lethal in its vulnerability. It was a thousand times worse for her than it was for Reno, and she knew if it didn't stop, she would die.
She found herself moaning and clawing at the earth in agony. "Please," she sobbed raggedly. " I can't help unless you make it stop!"
It did.
Aeris sat up and tried to compose herself. Reno was already starting to his feet, nightstick out, looking about wildly.
"What the hell was that?!" he shouted, voice echoing in the strange silence.
A tiny light appeared in the darkness- the end of Cid's half-smoked cigarette. He materialized in front of them and immediately set to cursing. Aeris glanced around and saw most of the others gathered around- everyone, in fact, except Cloud.
"Don't you know?" she whispered hollowly, looking about at the others. "You've heard it before, on a lesser degree."
"I know that's the first time I ever heard that!" Elena snapped, raking her fingers through her blond hair. "What was it?"
"The scream of the Planet…"
* * * * * *
It was at that moment that Zack fell through the door in the reactor. He thought he heard someone speaking, something about a Trial, but he wasn't listening. The gnawing fear and dread in his stomach had finally taken physical form- the endless blackness and, for a fleeting instant, the vision of a coldly beautiful woman smiling cruelly as she pressed a button. It seemed he could hear a man- Reno? But he was back with the others!- saying over and over, "A storm's coming, A storm's coming," like a broken record. He saw, replayed before his eyes, Aeris' soft tears when he left Midgar all those years ago…
"Will you write?"
"I won't need to. I'm coming right back."
And, over it all, images of Tifa, Tifa…
Everything screeched to a halt. Zack scrambled to his feet and looked around wildly. He did not even notice his wounds were fully healed.
He was in Nibelheim, alone. The houses, the streets were all deserted. He saw nothing. No one.
Wait, there was someone. A lone woman knelt at the foot of the well, eyes on a small grave. She did not move, even when he called her name.
"Tifa!" He went and knelt beside her, trying to ignore the suspicious doubt swimming in his mind. "Tifa, it's me."
Slowly, she turned her head to look at him. Her sudden smile was devoid of the warmth and kindness he'd come to expect. "Hello, Zack," she said softly. "Don't you hate me?"
He stared, agape. What was she talking about? Had he only imagined everything between them?
Frustration snapped his already short temper. "Of course not. Why would I?"
She rose in one fluid motion. "Because I killed Adine, " she said matter-of-factly. "On purpose. Because I like killing."
He stared, then slowly backed away. Her eyes, her once-warm brown eyes, were flat and lifeless. Dead. "What are you talking about?"
"Look at the flowers, Zack." She pointed at the wreath of flowers that hung around the grave marker. Aeris' flowers. They were as brown and lifeless as Tifa's eyes. "I killed them, too."
Zack tried to force himself to think rationally. Tifa would never say these things or act like this. So… "You're not Tifa."
She shook her head, long chestnut hair swinging back and forth. "I'm what she could have been. Should have been. Might have been." She shrugged. "Everything here is what might have been."
"Here? Where's here?"
She stepped toward him, laughing a little. "Can't you guess? Here. Your mind, Zack. You. You were thinking of me, so…here I am."
"I was thinking of Tifa!" he snapped. "Not you!"
She came closer. "Zack," she said softly. "Wouldn't you love me no matter what? I'm the same person. Just a different shade of her. I exist only here. And in her."
He closed his eyes. It was all in his mind. Tifa was right there, but it wasn't her. It was some silly trick, that was all. He could get past a trick. He reopened his eyes.
Tifa had her arms linked behind her and was rubbing the back of her ankle with one foot. She smiled up at him shyly. "We are all different shades, Zack," she said, as though sharing a secret. "Everyone. I am capable of doing many things. I can save the world or destroy it. I can rescue a helpless man or kill a child. Our actions determine who we are. You see? So, if you really love Tifa Lockheart, you'll have to learn to love me, too."
He felt his conviction waver a bit. She made sense. But… "I want Tifa as I know her."
She rolled her eyes. "Fine. But remember what I said."
The world…tilted. Zack pitched backwards and landed hard in the dirt. The sky swam. As he forced himself up, Tifa rushed to him and threw her arms around his middle, nearly knocking him over again.
"Zack." Her voice was muffled. He thought she might be crying.
He held her tenderly, but was careful not to drop his guard. "Tifa…"
She looked up at him, distraught. "Zack, it's Sufur's fault. He's the one who….to all those people…and Adine…"
"Sh," he said, relieved that she wasn't claiming to have killed the child any longer. "You're okay now."
She shook her head. "No, I'm not. I'm no better than him. I wanted to kill him, to make him suffer. If I could have, I would have murdered him in cold blood."
He felt a sudden flash of unease. He had- still did, really- felt the exact same way. Why was it so disconcerting to hear Tifa say it? Maybe because he didn't want to believe it of the woman he loved…
But maybe…because it wasn't quite as simple as that. Though it was difficult to think, a certain part of his heart was certain. Tifa would have a hard time working up the hatred to do that. And besides, she really hadn't done that. If she had wanted to, she could have taken the opportunity to do so already.
"But you didn't," he half-argued. "That's the difference. You didn't."
"But I could have," she whispered.
Thrown into sudden confusion, Zack could not answer. He still felt fairly certain that Tifa didn't harbor the intent to kill anyone in cold blood, no matter what this…specter…of hers might be playing at. But the question had cast dark shadows on his own intents.
How was the intent any different from the deed? If actions really determined who you were, what about what you wanted to do but couldn't? Even though he would kill Sufur the moment he set eyes on him, did that make him any more or less a murderer? And was that now or later? Did the sin occur when you'd made the cold-blooded decision, or when you'd actually done the deed?
And he knew the real reason he wanted to kill Sufur. It wasn't because the guy had been doing evil deeds or whatnot. The reason, the reason Zack had so much trouble accepting, the real reason he wanted to kill Sufur was because he'd taken Tifa away.
And did that really justify murder?
But wouldn't anyone go as far as taking lives to protect their loved ones? And Sufur wasn't just any man. Sufur was the man who had tried to strangle Aeris in her sleep! The man who had taken shots at Zack. Just thin king of such a man holding Tifa's life in the palm of his hand made a hold form in Zack's gut.
He swallowed hard. "It's not the same. Sufur's a cold-blooded murderer."
"But he's a human being, too. And I wanted to take his life!" she insisted, the ache in her voice making his heart throb. Though he still doubted it was her, she looked like Tifa and sounded like her…and his body responded to her warmth…
And still the dark thoughts whirled in his head. Inside, were he and Tifa and Sufur and everyone…all the same? Did it really just come down to the ability to carry out the action?
"It doesn't matter," he said aloud. "I love you all the same." That made him feel better. It was best not to think of the implications of every black thought. All he needed to think of was her…as soon as he got out of here, he could…
Tifa smiled up at him, then suddenly shoved him to the ground. He slipped in slick mud and ended up nearly falling on his face. Mud…?
He tried to look up, but a booted foot stepped on the back of his neck and held him down. Zack struggled, but he was suddenly so tired, as though he'd walked miles and miles, and the mud was making him slip and slide.
"Got him." The voice was low, guttural- a soldier's voice, thick with satisfaction. The boot was removed from his neck, and Zack was able to look up.
A group of soldiers were gathered around, holding machine guns. One of them- the commander, presumably- did not hold a gun. Instead, he held a long, thin black nightstick. The rain, the cause of all the mud, matted his red hair to his face. That face Zack knew so well.
"Reno," Zack croaked, trying to move. His Buster Sword lay just barely out of reach, and, try as he might, he could not make himself get hold of it.
Reno glanced at him and sneered. "Pathetic. Just pathetic." He waved an impatient hand at the soldiers. "Well? Shoot him!"
They hesitated. Zack seized the chance and managed to get up onto his elbows. "Reno, what are you doing?"
Reno's sneer slipped a bit. "I'm sorry, Zack." He sounded regretful. "But you should know by now that this is who I am. I don't like it any more than you do." The sneer returned. "Aeris wouldn't like it if she found out. So let's keep this our little secret, shall we?"
On cue, the gunmen fired. As bullet after bullet ripped into his body, Zack couldn't do more than scream and thrash. He thought he heard a woman laughing. Then it suddenly ended, and he was staring up at the sky. Rain was falling heavily, now.
"We'd better go." Reno looked up at the same sky. "A storm's coming."
Cloud, Zack thought listless, remembering. They're supposed to find Cloud.
Reno gave a low laugh. "Don't worry. Strife's gone, and he's never coming back."
A storm's coming…a storm's coming…
Zack's mind drifted as Reno and the soldiers walked off. A small part of him insisted this wasn't real, that this had never happened, but the rest of him knew it had. He remembered now. The shock and pain had driven it from his mind, but he remembered it all. Had Reno recognized him, all these years later? He didn't know. He supposed it was hard to keep track of all your victims when you were a Turk. Especially if you were boozing all the time.
He tried to move and was vaguely surprised to discover he could not. A jolt of fear shot through him. If he died, what would happen to Tifa?
"Tifa," he managed to whispered softly. She would come for him. She would come, and he would be with her. He didn't care what happened after that.
But what she really be okay? Would…Cloud take care of her now? He knew she was strong, but so much had happened all at once…
He lay there, with the rain falling all around him, and waited. Blood puddled around him, but the rain washed it away.
His mind drifted to Reno again. Did Reno remember what had happened back then? And if he did remember, did he care? Zack had thought him to be a decent guy, but he could have misjudged him. Maybe he was still dangerous.
Zack corrected himself. Of course Reno was still dangerous. But could he be trusted? Sure he can, he told himself fiercely. Reno was a friend. That was good enough for him.
Suddenly he was aware of someone leaning over him. Tifa…?
The woman smiled coldly. "I'm afraid not. You know me as Jenova."
Jenova…Zack tried to force his eyes to focus. "You…you caused all this…"
"Your little girlfriend won't be coming, I'm afraid," she continued. "She's still trying desperately to bring down Shinra, although with less nobility and more of a desire for vengeance. They killed my precious puppet, you realize."
"But…this is all…" What was reality? He tried again to think, to gather his thoughts, but he was drifting away…
Jenova studied him, those disturbing purple eyes intent. "You fool. You are dying."
No, he wasn't. He felt fine, really…now if only he could make his lips move…
She cocked her head, and a quizzical expression formed on her face. "Perhaps…yes, you would be a perfect test. I'm beginning to wonder if my new puppet is having second thoughts about his role." Was she still smiling, or had the expression turned to a scowl? Things were starting to look blurry…too blurry to see…
She was still talking, though, and he could hear her relatively well.
"…might yet be useful to me." She leaned forward and placed her hands on his temples. Zack gasped, but could not move away. Her touch was like ice, seeming to strip the flesh from his bones.
He thought he would break under the pressure, but he was still drifting….
…unaware his body was jerking and convulsing…
…drifting…
…falling…
Nothing.
Thank you, everyone who has been kind enough to overlook this massive delay. Chapters will be coming faster and faster as we now near the final quarter of RtP…out of curiosity, does anyone have any opinions regarding the philosophical issues I'm throwing in here? The point is to make you think, y'know.
Please, review and tell me what your thoughts are. And, um…that beginning scene with Reno and Aeris was my first…somewhat romantic scene. Should I stay away from those from now on? *cringes*
Later!
~Lila