Chapter 9

Elliot looked down at the ice cream and up at Olivia and back again. "Liv? Ice cream when it's cold and we haven't even eaten dinner?"

Spooning some up, she said, "Shhhh. Don't tell the protocol police. Got to break the rules every once in a while, partner." She grinned at him. "So, dessert is first tonight."

Elliot laughed back at her before taking a bite of his dessert. "Oh, that's good." He looked at her as she smiled. "I don't know, Liv. I could get used to you being this bubbly. Is this what you're like when I get you out of the city for awhile?"

She sobered a bit. "Oh, I can be like this a lot of other times, El, but it's hard with what we see every day. To be honest, I'm surprised that you're as calm right now as you are. I figured that you'd be a real bear with everything that has happened in the past day. Are you sure you're okay?"

He shrugged. "As good as I can be, I guess. Nothing I can say to Kathy right now would make a difference, and I did do a lot of thinking out on that rock today." He finished the ice cream and checked the steaks again. "Look, this stuff is almost ready. Do you mind if we continue that particular conversation later?"

"Not at all. We don't even need to continue it later if you don't want to. I'm just concerned for you." She grabbed his dish and placed both in the sink and then she handed him the plates for the steaks.

He took them with one hand and set them down while with the other, he took her hand and pulled her into a gentle hug. "Thanks for the concern, partner. I'll be fine no matter what happens, okay?"

Olivia laid her head on his shoulder and placed her hands at his waist. If she dared to slide them around to his back for a full hug, she was afraid she'd never let go. "I know," she said quietly. "But you're my best friend and I am worried. I'm worried for the kids, and for what Kathy might try..."

Elliot hugged her tighter, and tipped his head to place a light kiss on her forehead. "We'll be fine, Livvy." He felt her chuckle at his use of the dreaded moniker. "What?"

"I hate that name. Makes me sound like I'm five."

"Nah. It's just perfect for those very rare special occasions when we're both needing comfort." He looked down at her face and saw an evil smirk appear. "However, if you even think of trying out 'Ellie – " He dropped his head down to whisper directly in her ear. " – I will hurt you." He felt her shiver as his breath tickled her ear and then felt her body shake as the giggles grabbed her.

"How...how did you know that's what I was thinking?" she asked in between giggles.

He laughed along with her. "I can read your face like a book, Liv. It was written there plain as day."

Olivia gave up and wrapped her arms around him, returning his strong hug. Leaning up to whisper to him, she asked, "El, can I ask a really big favor?" She looked at him innocently awaiting his response.

He looked at her, eyes narrowing slightly as he tried to guess what she was up to. "Sure. What?"

She looked behind him as she turned off the grill. "Can we eat now before the steaks turn to leather?" They both laughed and stepped away from each other. Elliot plated the steaks and vegetables while Olivia pulled the baked potatoes from the oven. They prepared their plates, refilled their ice tea and walked to the coffee table.

Elliot groaned as he sat down. "Are you sure we couldn't have sat in chairs?" he asked as he tried to fold his legs into a position where they wouldn't cramp.

"Not quite in as good as shape as you thought, El?" chuckled Olivia as she easily sat down.

"Shut up, Liv."

"You know, you keep telling me that. One of these days I just might listen and then what will you do?"

"Enjoy the silence?"

"Have I reminded you today that you're a brat?" Olivia sliced off a piece of the steak and tasted it. "Oh God, you're forgiven. This is delicious."

"Glad to see that skinny you will forgive the extra protein. At home, I swear all the girls run screaming from anything that resembles meat." He took a piece of his steak. "Damn, that is pretty good." Spearing some of the beans and snow peas, he continued, "We're pretty good at this cooking thing, you know?"

"Umm. Yeah. I didn't actually realize how hungry I was. You can cook for me anytime, Stabler."

Elliot's fork stopped halfway to his mouth. "That can probably be arranged, Liv. Who knows what will happen?"

She looked at him thoughtfully as she chewed. "After dinner, Elliot, we'll talk about this. Okay?"

He nodded in agreement. "Okay."

They both tucked back into their meal, continuing with the everyday chitchat that they were used to, but this time realizing that serious discussion time was near. Soon they had both cleared their plates and set them off to the side to finish their ice tea.

A soft buzz was heard from the other room. "The washer," said Elliot. "If you'll take care of that, I'll get the dishes."

"Deal." With that Olivia stood and took her plate to the kitchen while Elliot grabbed the placemats and his plate. Olivia walked to the mudroom and changed over the laundry and set the dryer in motion. Going back out to the great room, she took a few minutes to move the coffee table closer to the fireplace and return the floor pillows to beside the fireplace. She then walked behind the couch and pushed it up to meet near the coffee table. Ah, now the heat from the fireplace can really be felt, she thought. Hearing no more dish noise from the kitchen, she curled up at the end of the couch closer to the fire and waited for Elliot to return. She glanced over to the kitchen and saw him looking through one of the cabinets. Feeling a bit drowsy from the combination of the heat from the fireplace and the good food, she closed her eyes and waited for him to complete whatever task he had started.

Elliot looked through the cabinets for an after dinner drink. Feeling pretty pleased with the way the meal had turned out, he wanted to finish it off with a nice brandy or something. The image of Olivia sipping from a brandy snifter seated in front of the fire was a picture from his head that he wanted to set up for real. Maybe alcohol wasn't the way to go, but he had a lot of things he wanted to say that might require a little bit of liquid courage. He looked out to the great room and smiled. Olivia's head was tipped to the side and he could see that her eyes were closed in relaxation. Walking over to the china hutch, he found what he was looking for in the lower cabinet. Grabbing two snifters, he picked up the bottle of expensive cognac, poured about three fingers worth into each glass and recapped the bottle. Lifting one glass to his nose, he breathed in the woody and earthy scent that tickled his sense of smell.

Olivia opened her eyes and looked to her left when she sensed Elliot standing there. She sat up straight and brought her legs in to sit cross-legged to give him room to sit. "What did you find?"

"Would you believe a bottle of Courvoisier XO," he said as he handed her the snifter and sat down with his thigh touching her knees.

"High end cognac? Really?" She raised the snifter to her nose and inhaled. "Oh my," she breathed as she looked up at Elliot. He raised his eyebrow in question.

"You really know how to pick them, don't you? There's a hint of chocolate to this and..." she took another sniff, "Nuts." Tipping the glass she took a small sip. Letting the liquid rest on her tongue she could taste the old-age flavors left by the oak casks. "Oh, that is good. Very warm and almost a bit of a caramel flavor."

He grinned as he too took a sip of the liquor. "I take it that you approve?"

"Wholeheartedly. I enjoy beer as much as you do, but this...this is an experience." She smiled, took another sip and said, "Not that I mind the drink, but is it a requirement for this talk?"

Elliot looked down at the glass in his hands and smiled slightly. "Maybe not for you, Liv, but right now I could use the courage that's hiding in this glass."

She nodded her head and looked thoughtfully at him. "You know you can say anything and that I'm not going to judge you, right?"

He looked directly at her with a sharp look. "Yes, of course I know that, Liv." He took a deep breath. "It's just that I've never spoken about some of this to anyone."

"Hmmm. Like when you told me about that incident with Maureen as a toddler?"

"Yeah."

Elliot held his glass out to her and reached behind his head to grab the collar of his sweatshirt and pull it up. He couldn't see Olivia's face as the shirt covered his face as he pulled it, but her eyes followed the movements of his shoulder and trapezius muscles as he stretched his arms up. Unknowingly, her tongue slipped out to lick at her lips as her eyes remained on those muscles moving under his skin. She took another sip of the expensive liquor. "Warm?" she asked.

"Cognac, fire heat and nervousness. Yeah, a bit."

She just grinned at him and lifted her glass again.

"Liv?" he queried, looking at her.

"Hmm?" She came back to herself. "Just savoring the drink, Elliot," she said as she handed his glass back to him.

"Right," he chuckled. "You're just daydreaming about keeping that bathroom to yourself." He felt one of her hands reach over and pinch him in the side gently. He smiled at her.

"No, I was thinking about when you stole me away to dinner because I needed the escape a while back."

"Ah, yes. Andy," Elliot scoffed lightly and sipped again at the cognac.

Olivia smiled slightly, "Yes, Andy. You helped me through that evening, Elliot. I'd like to return the favor."

He turned and brought one bent leg up onto the couch, leaning his elbow on the back to hold the side of his head as he looked at her. "Don't you know that just by sitting here and listening and talking that you are helping me? Do you realize just how much more I've always been able to talk to you than my wife?"

"That's because we're partners, Elliot, and together nearly ten, twelve hours a day, if not more. If we couldn't talk, we'd both be dead because it means we couldn't communicate effectively to survive on the streets."

"That's what I've always thought, too, Liv. But why can't I talk to Kathy about this stuff? I know I should have, but every time I thought about it, I just couldn't because I didn't want this job inside my home. I've told her little things, like about the similarities between Jacob Nesbit and Dickie, but nothing compared to us talking."

"If you want to open up and talk to her, go for it. She's either going to be accepting of what you say or she'll tell you to stop. Let it be up to her." She paused for a moment. "El, wasn't this covered in the counseling you mentioned this morning?"

"Yeah. There was a lot about trust and communication. Basic psychology, really. I mean, I know I don't communicate well with her on anything related to work. But she knows that I talk with you about it, so I think that's where some of her jealousy stems from." He looked at her intensely for a moment. "You never guessed that she was jealous of you, did you?"

"To be honest, yes, but not for the reason that you can talk to me. I've always thought it had more to do with all the time I spend with you in close quarters. Some days we're practically living in each other's pockets. I'm guessing I wouldn't be too keen on my husband spending that kind of time daily with a female partner, but I'm not sure."

"And a beautiful woman to boot," he said.

"Thanks," she said quietly as she looked down at the snifter she held.

"But as for trust? Kathy doesn't really trust me anymore, and for that I'm sorry because I blew that one on my own."

"How's that? Because I really can't picture her not trusting you within your marriage."

Elliot looked up at her intently. "Cynthia Wilmont."

Olivia's eyes widened as she realized the implication of that name. "Oh my God, El. That was nearly two years ago."

"Yes, it was. And it was before that that you basically told me to get my head out of my ass or I'd lose the best things in my life." He smiled ruefully. "You weren't too far off base, partner."

Elliot was silent for a bit as he finished off the last of his glass. Setting the snifter down, he rose and walked back to the cabinet to pick up the cognac bottle. Returning, he added another round to his glass and offered it to Olivia. "Not right now, I'm still good."

"You know," he said as he took a seat facing her again, "I'd like to come back here again, Liv. Hell, I'd love to own this place."

She looked perplexedly at him at the complete change in subject, but since it was his show, she followed.

"Kind of difficult for the commute, partner," she said as she sipped slowly from her glass.

"Hmm. Not like there's not going to be enough changes, Liv."

"Elliot, just a few minutes ago you were thinking about talking with Kathy."

"I was basically thinking in theory. Remember earlier when I said before that talking with Kathy right now wouldn't gain me anything? Well, I doubt anything I could say would change the situation."

"What happened? I know it had something to do with your call with Maureen this afternoon."

"Yeah." He took a deep breath. "It goes back to the phone call last night. She demanded that I get home, and even when I told her the circumstances with the weather, her only comment was that if I wanted to be home I'd find a way. Then she laid down her threat. I thought it was just the anger talking, but Cragen confirmed it this morning." He raised his head and looked at her.

"Yeah, you said that this morning. Have you decided what you're going to do?"

"I did a lot of thinking out on that rock today. I tried to be reasonable and look at it from both sides to see if I could fix this. But every avenue of thought I went down, I came to the same conclusion." Another deep breath. "I'm going to do what she wants, Liv..." He looked to the fire, as he didn't want to see the pity on Olivia's face. Her ability to empathize was one of her greatest attributes when dealing with victims, but he didn't want her to fall into his hurt as that would just hurt her.

She looked up at him quickly, almost startled. "You...you're going to transfer, aren't you?" she asked quietly, positive that her world was going to drop away.

"What?" He turned to look at her in bewilderment. "No! No, Liv...I'm not going to transfer. I'm going to agree to her demand for a divorce."

A rush of adrenalin zipped through her system as the relief hit her – and then flowed away just as quickly as she was ashamed for that thought. This was her best friend. She was supposed to support him and help him. Going against the little niggle of happiness that was a tiny little spark within her heart, she played devil's advocate to those thoughts. His family was more important than what she wanted. "Demand? Wouldn't you want to try more in depth counseling? What about the kids?"

He leaned back into the deep couch and looked at his hands. "Yeah, it's a demand. Unfortunately, I got that from Maureen this morning."

"How did she know, Elliot?"

"The twins called her in a panic last night as Kathy stormed around the house throwing my stuff in boxes. She also told me that Kathy contacted her lawyer this morning. More than likely I'll be served with papers Monday morning."

"How'd Maureen take it?"

Elliot chuckled weakly. "My little girl, who is no longer a little girl but a young lady with a good bit of psychology under her belt, had a very unique take on it. She's upset, but appears to have seen this coming."

Olivia set her glass on the coffee table and then sat back and pulled her right leg back, leaning it against the back of the couch as she moved her left to the floor. Leaning forward, she wrapped her arms around Elliot's waist and squeezed him in a hug from the side. Propping her chin on his shoulder, she asked, "You're going to talk to Kathy, aren't you, El? I know you've said that the counseling didn't seem to be helping, but this doesn't seem like the man I know who would give up on his marriage."

Oh God, here I go, he thought nervously. Many things could happen in the next few minutes, and he could feel his heart thumping away in his throat. Reaching down, he picked up Olivia's left hand from where it rested at his side. Lining it up with his palm to palm, he took note on the differences in their hands. His were large, blunt-tipped fingers that could crush the delicate-looking but deceptively strong hand that it supported by the palm. He could feel the quick intake of her breath against his neck. Folding his fingers around hers, he played with them gently as he said quietly, "What if the conclusion I have reached is that I don't want to save my marriage?"

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