Chapter 4- Order In The Court
After coming back from the dean's office for the fourth time this morning, Ben and Bryan stormed into the room, angrily.
"We've gotta stop this!" Ben yelled. "I got in trouble today for dropping my pencil in front of Faramir! He said I threw it!"
"Well I got in trouble for running into Gimli," Bryan said. "It's not MY fault I didn't see him. It's not MY fault he's all short!"
"We can sue them," Tracy suggested.
"With what?" Stephanie asked.
"Malpractice," she grinned evilly.
Peter nodded. "She does have a point."
Daj snorted. "ONE point."
Tracy glared at him and said, "Well, we can't afford a liar- I mean- lawyer. So we'll have to defend ourselves."
~Silence~
"Can we do that?" Brittney asked.
"Who cares?!" Kitt said.
THREE DAYS LATER...
"All arise!" the bailiff shouted.
Everyone stood up as the judge walked in and sat down. So after the long, dull law procedures, Peter rose.
"Can we trust Peter with our case?" Ashley whispered to Tracy.
"Of course!" she whispered back. She paused. "If not, that's why I'm here."
"Plantiff, call your first witness," the judge said.
"I call Arwen Undomiel to the stand," Peter declared.
Arwen slowly came over to the witness stand and was sworn in. She sat down, and Peter came over and slammed his hands down on the stand.
"GIVE IT UP, WOMAN!!! YOU ARE NO MATCH FOR ME!!!" Peter shouted.
"Objection!" Aragorn shouted.
"Overruled," Brittney said.
The judge glared at her and said, "Sustained."
Arwen merely blinked. Peter stared into her eyes and then sighed, "That's not gonna work is it?"
Arwen slowly shook her head.
Peter paused. "...Okay then...We'll try this again."
He shook her hand. "Hi! I'm Peter! And you are?"
"Objection!" Aragorn yelled again.
Brittney was about to answer, but the judge said, "Sustained." Brittney glared at him, hatefully.
"Fine," Peter groaned. "I'll do this the right way."
He took a few steps back, paced the floor, took a drink of the water on the table, looked over at the jury, then the judge, then the lady typing, then back at Arwen. Someone in the back of the room coughed. But then it was so quiet, you could hear the sound of everyone's heartbeat.
"Lady Arwen," Peter began, "tell us, in your own words, what you were thinking when you formulated your plan to put us innocent children in school."
"Objection!" Aragorn yelled for the third time.
"Shut up!" the judge shouted.
Aragorn sat down, mumbling to himself angrily.
"Well, education is a thing every person needs," Arwen began.
"Objection!" Daj shouted. "Peter Jennings from World News Tonight never finished high school!"
"Overruled," the judge sighed.
Arwen narrowed her eyes and continued, "Anyways, I saw you kids throwing your lives away with no schooling. So I thought, since we all are intelligent in our own way, that we could teach you ourselves. So...yes..."
Peter nodded. "Tell me, Arwen. Have you had any schooling as a teacher?"
Arwen paused. "...No."
"Ha!" Peter exclaimed. "I win! Your witness, council..."
He resumed his seat at the plaintiff's table next to Daj. Frodo came forth with telephone books. He stacked the books on top of each other, and Merry climbed up on them.
"Good morning, my lady!" Merry grinned, leaning on the witness stand. "Could you please tell the ladies and gentlemen of the jury how the first day of school went?"
"Well, my class went very well," Arwen said. "Bryan, Peter and Dajotre were very good students-"
"Objection!" Tracy shouted. "Bribing the plaintiff?!"
"We don't mind," Bryan said, followed by Tracy whacking him.
The judge nodded, "Sustained."
"...and I thought we did a very good job as teachers," Arwen said.
"Were there any problems?" Merry asked.
Arwen thought for a moment. "Not to my knowledge."
Merry smiled. "Thank you, Arwen. You may sit down. For I call Prince Legolas Greenleaf to the stand."
Peter, Ben, Bryan, and Dajotre laughed at Legolas's name again. Aragorn opened his mouth to say "Objection," but was cut off by the judge's "Sustained." Legolas, glaring at the plaintiff, took his seat.
"Legolas, you taught with Lady Arwen, did you not?" Merry inquired.
"I did," Legolas said.
Merry nodded. "No further questions, your honor."
The defense looked at each other, confused, as Merry took his seat. Peter got up again and came over to Legolas.
"Mr. Gr- *laugh* Greenleaf," Peter said, "if I do recall correctly, there was a slight mishap. Apparently, Mr. Bryan asked you a question that you could not answer."
Legolas raised an eyebrow. "Yes..."
"You were the teacher, were you not?" Peter asked.
"Yes," Legolas repeated.
"Shouldn't you have had the answer?!" Peter exclaimed.
"Not always," he said.
"But Lady Arwen herself said that you were all intelligent in your own way. Clearly, you should have been able to answer it."
"The question was 'What does antidisestablishmintarism mean?!' How am I supposed to answer THAT?!"
"I don't know. YOU'RE the teacher!!!"
Legolas was silent, glaring into Peter's eyes. Peter smiled superiorly and said, "No further questions, your honor."
Legolas sighed, and Tracy looked over at him sympathetically followed by Tippy whacking her. Tracy rubbed her head and rearranged the blonde strands of hair that were Islightly/I out of place. She then rose and said, "I'd like to call Mr. Objection himself, Aragorn, son of Arathorn, chieftan of Dunedain of Arnor, captain of the host of the West, banner of the Star of the North, wielder of the sword reforged, victorious in battle, who hands bring healing, the Elfstone, Elessar of the line of Valandiel, Isildur's son, Elendil's son of Numenor to the stand."
Lisa pouted at not being able to say Aragorn's full title. Aragorn stood up and walked over to the witness stand. Tracy came over to Aragorn.
"So, Ugly Ma- I mean- Aragorn," she began.
Aragorn glared at her. "...Yes?"
"Apparently, after the first two months, you were given the option to return home," Tracy said. "What was your reaction?"
"I stayed," Aragorn admitted.
"Why?" Tracy asked.
"Arwen didn't want to leave, and I thought it would be all right," he explained.
"So it is not our fault that we stayed," Tracy said.
"Yes, it is," Aragorn replied. "You could have left."
"But for the time being YOU were our guardians!" Tracy snapped.
"So?"
"So you were to look after us. We were only obidient!"
Aragorn sighed and shook his head. Tracy smiled and said, "No further questions, your honor."
Frodo climbed up on the phone books next and looked at Aragorn. "King Elessar, perhaps you kept them out of sympathy? Maybe, you felt sorry that they had no where to go."
"Objection!" Tracy shouted. "He is twisting the witness's testimony! He's putting ideas into his head! This is unlawful!"
The judge nodded. "Sustained."
Frodo rolled his eyes. "Tell us then, your thoughts."
"I did feel a bit of sympathy," Aragorn began.
Tracy groaned and impatiently drummed her pen on the table. Aragorn continued, "Maybe I could keep them until they somehow contacted home."
Frodo grinned. "Thank you, Aragorn, you may sit down. I call Brittney to the stand!"
Tracy grabbed Brittney's arm and whispered. "This is your star performence. Give me your best Oliver Twist impression ever."
Brittney grinned evilly, and then put on her sad orphan face. Peter looked over at Tracy. "What did you tell her?"
"Wait for it..." Tracy replied.
Brittney sat down in the witness stand, and then burst out into tears. Frodo arched an eyebrow, looked at the judge, then the defendant, and then the plaintiff.
"Uhh...Brittney?" Frodo said.
Brittney continued to sob. "Don't make me leave! Don't make me go back to that horrid place! PLEASE!!!"
Frodo looked very confused and guilty, thinking it was his fault that Brittney was uncontrollably crying. "Brittney...could you please tell the ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what you mean by that?"
Brittney cried, "Can't you hear me?! I don't wanna go back to my home!!! No! Not my home! It's just a building! I hate it there! I HATE IT!!!"
Frodo slowly sat back down. "No further questions...your honor."
Tracy got up and came over to Brittney. "Brittney...tell us about your life."
Brittney started to dry her eyes. "Well, my parents died before I was three. So I don't remember them. I was sent to a children's home where I got nothing but gruel and stale bread for every meal, every day. And then one day, weak and frail, I asked for some more. And they threw me out!!! I was all alone until a guy named Dodger, who oddly looked like Elijah Wood, took me in to a place where a thief named Fagin took care of us. So then, I decided to come here after being wrongly accused for stealing. I thought that maybe, just maybe, I'd be loved, but no! Now they want to get rid of me again!!!!!!!!!"
She broke out into more sobs. Tracy sadly shook her head and sat down. "No further questions, your honor."
Later, the jury returned with their verdict. Brittney was still fake crying at the plaintiff's table. The judge was handed a copy of the verdict and then said, "Will the defendant please rise?"
The Fellowship stood up, and the judge asked, "Jury, have you reached your verdict?"
"That's why we're here," Dajotre mumbled.
A guy in the jury stood. "We have, your honor."
"What say you?" the judge asked.
"Objection!" Aragorn shouted.
"Aragorn, the trial's over," Sam said.
"I know!" Aragorn yelled. "But that's MY line!"
"Quit talking like Bryan," Kitt yelled.
"We the jury find the defendant on the account of malpractice," he unneccesarily paused for effect, "...guilty!"
Everyone gasped. The kids rejoiced, and Peter and Tracy just grinned superiorly at winning their first case. The Fellowship grumbled.
"And the sentace?" the judge asked.
"We the jury feel that they should just...stop...yeah," the guy from the jury said.
The Fellowship looked over at the kids. Somehow, things weren't gonna be the same.
(Woot! That was fun! I got to be a lawyer! Next Chapter: It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like...Christmas?!)
After coming back from the dean's office for the fourth time this morning, Ben and Bryan stormed into the room, angrily.
"We've gotta stop this!" Ben yelled. "I got in trouble today for dropping my pencil in front of Faramir! He said I threw it!"
"Well I got in trouble for running into Gimli," Bryan said. "It's not MY fault I didn't see him. It's not MY fault he's all short!"
"We can sue them," Tracy suggested.
"With what?" Stephanie asked.
"Malpractice," she grinned evilly.
Peter nodded. "She does have a point."
Daj snorted. "ONE point."
Tracy glared at him and said, "Well, we can't afford a liar- I mean- lawyer. So we'll have to defend ourselves."
~Silence~
"Can we do that?" Brittney asked.
"Who cares?!" Kitt said.
THREE DAYS LATER...
"All arise!" the bailiff shouted.
Everyone stood up as the judge walked in and sat down. So after the long, dull law procedures, Peter rose.
"Can we trust Peter with our case?" Ashley whispered to Tracy.
"Of course!" she whispered back. She paused. "If not, that's why I'm here."
"Plantiff, call your first witness," the judge said.
"I call Arwen Undomiel to the stand," Peter declared.
Arwen slowly came over to the witness stand and was sworn in. She sat down, and Peter came over and slammed his hands down on the stand.
"GIVE IT UP, WOMAN!!! YOU ARE NO MATCH FOR ME!!!" Peter shouted.
"Objection!" Aragorn shouted.
"Overruled," Brittney said.
The judge glared at her and said, "Sustained."
Arwen merely blinked. Peter stared into her eyes and then sighed, "That's not gonna work is it?"
Arwen slowly shook her head.
Peter paused. "...Okay then...We'll try this again."
He shook her hand. "Hi! I'm Peter! And you are?"
"Objection!" Aragorn yelled again.
Brittney was about to answer, but the judge said, "Sustained." Brittney glared at him, hatefully.
"Fine," Peter groaned. "I'll do this the right way."
He took a few steps back, paced the floor, took a drink of the water on the table, looked over at the jury, then the judge, then the lady typing, then back at Arwen. Someone in the back of the room coughed. But then it was so quiet, you could hear the sound of everyone's heartbeat.
"Lady Arwen," Peter began, "tell us, in your own words, what you were thinking when you formulated your plan to put us innocent children in school."
"Objection!" Aragorn yelled for the third time.
"Shut up!" the judge shouted.
Aragorn sat down, mumbling to himself angrily.
"Well, education is a thing every person needs," Arwen began.
"Objection!" Daj shouted. "Peter Jennings from World News Tonight never finished high school!"
"Overruled," the judge sighed.
Arwen narrowed her eyes and continued, "Anyways, I saw you kids throwing your lives away with no schooling. So I thought, since we all are intelligent in our own way, that we could teach you ourselves. So...yes..."
Peter nodded. "Tell me, Arwen. Have you had any schooling as a teacher?"
Arwen paused. "...No."
"Ha!" Peter exclaimed. "I win! Your witness, council..."
He resumed his seat at the plaintiff's table next to Daj. Frodo came forth with telephone books. He stacked the books on top of each other, and Merry climbed up on them.
"Good morning, my lady!" Merry grinned, leaning on the witness stand. "Could you please tell the ladies and gentlemen of the jury how the first day of school went?"
"Well, my class went very well," Arwen said. "Bryan, Peter and Dajotre were very good students-"
"Objection!" Tracy shouted. "Bribing the plaintiff?!"
"We don't mind," Bryan said, followed by Tracy whacking him.
The judge nodded, "Sustained."
"...and I thought we did a very good job as teachers," Arwen said.
"Were there any problems?" Merry asked.
Arwen thought for a moment. "Not to my knowledge."
Merry smiled. "Thank you, Arwen. You may sit down. For I call Prince Legolas Greenleaf to the stand."
Peter, Ben, Bryan, and Dajotre laughed at Legolas's name again. Aragorn opened his mouth to say "Objection," but was cut off by the judge's "Sustained." Legolas, glaring at the plaintiff, took his seat.
"Legolas, you taught with Lady Arwen, did you not?" Merry inquired.
"I did," Legolas said.
Merry nodded. "No further questions, your honor."
The defense looked at each other, confused, as Merry took his seat. Peter got up again and came over to Legolas.
"Mr. Gr- *laugh* Greenleaf," Peter said, "if I do recall correctly, there was a slight mishap. Apparently, Mr. Bryan asked you a question that you could not answer."
Legolas raised an eyebrow. "Yes..."
"You were the teacher, were you not?" Peter asked.
"Yes," Legolas repeated.
"Shouldn't you have had the answer?!" Peter exclaimed.
"Not always," he said.
"But Lady Arwen herself said that you were all intelligent in your own way. Clearly, you should have been able to answer it."
"The question was 'What does antidisestablishmintarism mean?!' How am I supposed to answer THAT?!"
"I don't know. YOU'RE the teacher!!!"
Legolas was silent, glaring into Peter's eyes. Peter smiled superiorly and said, "No further questions, your honor."
Legolas sighed, and Tracy looked over at him sympathetically followed by Tippy whacking her. Tracy rubbed her head and rearranged the blonde strands of hair that were Islightly/I out of place. She then rose and said, "I'd like to call Mr. Objection himself, Aragorn, son of Arathorn, chieftan of Dunedain of Arnor, captain of the host of the West, banner of the Star of the North, wielder of the sword reforged, victorious in battle, who hands bring healing, the Elfstone, Elessar of the line of Valandiel, Isildur's son, Elendil's son of Numenor to the stand."
Lisa pouted at not being able to say Aragorn's full title. Aragorn stood up and walked over to the witness stand. Tracy came over to Aragorn.
"So, Ugly Ma- I mean- Aragorn," she began.
Aragorn glared at her. "...Yes?"
"Apparently, after the first two months, you were given the option to return home," Tracy said. "What was your reaction?"
"I stayed," Aragorn admitted.
"Why?" Tracy asked.
"Arwen didn't want to leave, and I thought it would be all right," he explained.
"So it is not our fault that we stayed," Tracy said.
"Yes, it is," Aragorn replied. "You could have left."
"But for the time being YOU were our guardians!" Tracy snapped.
"So?"
"So you were to look after us. We were only obidient!"
Aragorn sighed and shook his head. Tracy smiled and said, "No further questions, your honor."
Frodo climbed up on the phone books next and looked at Aragorn. "King Elessar, perhaps you kept them out of sympathy? Maybe, you felt sorry that they had no where to go."
"Objection!" Tracy shouted. "He is twisting the witness's testimony! He's putting ideas into his head! This is unlawful!"
The judge nodded. "Sustained."
Frodo rolled his eyes. "Tell us then, your thoughts."
"I did feel a bit of sympathy," Aragorn began.
Tracy groaned and impatiently drummed her pen on the table. Aragorn continued, "Maybe I could keep them until they somehow contacted home."
Frodo grinned. "Thank you, Aragorn, you may sit down. I call Brittney to the stand!"
Tracy grabbed Brittney's arm and whispered. "This is your star performence. Give me your best Oliver Twist impression ever."
Brittney grinned evilly, and then put on her sad orphan face. Peter looked over at Tracy. "What did you tell her?"
"Wait for it..." Tracy replied.
Brittney sat down in the witness stand, and then burst out into tears. Frodo arched an eyebrow, looked at the judge, then the defendant, and then the plaintiff.
"Uhh...Brittney?" Frodo said.
Brittney continued to sob. "Don't make me leave! Don't make me go back to that horrid place! PLEASE!!!"
Frodo looked very confused and guilty, thinking it was his fault that Brittney was uncontrollably crying. "Brittney...could you please tell the ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what you mean by that?"
Brittney cried, "Can't you hear me?! I don't wanna go back to my home!!! No! Not my home! It's just a building! I hate it there! I HATE IT!!!"
Frodo slowly sat back down. "No further questions...your honor."
Tracy got up and came over to Brittney. "Brittney...tell us about your life."
Brittney started to dry her eyes. "Well, my parents died before I was three. So I don't remember them. I was sent to a children's home where I got nothing but gruel and stale bread for every meal, every day. And then one day, weak and frail, I asked for some more. And they threw me out!!! I was all alone until a guy named Dodger, who oddly looked like Elijah Wood, took me in to a place where a thief named Fagin took care of us. So then, I decided to come here after being wrongly accused for stealing. I thought that maybe, just maybe, I'd be loved, but no! Now they want to get rid of me again!!!!!!!!!"
She broke out into more sobs. Tracy sadly shook her head and sat down. "No further questions, your honor."
Later, the jury returned with their verdict. Brittney was still fake crying at the plaintiff's table. The judge was handed a copy of the verdict and then said, "Will the defendant please rise?"
The Fellowship stood up, and the judge asked, "Jury, have you reached your verdict?"
"That's why we're here," Dajotre mumbled.
A guy in the jury stood. "We have, your honor."
"What say you?" the judge asked.
"Objection!" Aragorn shouted.
"Aragorn, the trial's over," Sam said.
"I know!" Aragorn yelled. "But that's MY line!"
"Quit talking like Bryan," Kitt yelled.
"We the jury find the defendant on the account of malpractice," he unneccesarily paused for effect, "...guilty!"
Everyone gasped. The kids rejoiced, and Peter and Tracy just grinned superiorly at winning their first case. The Fellowship grumbled.
"And the sentace?" the judge asked.
"We the jury feel that they should just...stop...yeah," the guy from the jury said.
The Fellowship looked over at the kids. Somehow, things weren't gonna be the same.
(Woot! That was fun! I got to be a lawyer! Next Chapter: It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like...Christmas?!)