Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Irvine rode his train into Balamb. His dreams never left him. His friends, sometimes giving a hero's welcome to the returning murderer, sometimes turning him away. The worst was when they forgot Ellone, Seifer, and him completely. Sometimes he dreamed of the times Ellone broke up his fights with Seifer, and what she would think of his killing Seifer. His dreams sometimes awakened him, and left him contemplating, realizing that what Sis would have thought back at the orphanage didn't matter, as she was dead now, her life cut short by Seifer's blade. He fell back to sleep immediatly after that, despite the fact that he had (restlessly) slept the entire day before, and dreamed of Ellone's death as if he was there.
Seifer, Raijin, and Fujin leapt aboard the White SeeD ship. They rushed forward, cutting, pounding, and throwing White SeeDs aside. Irvine could do nothing but watch as Seifer's blade began to burn as he spun it, and a jet of fire leapt into Ellone from it as he charged. He spun it upward, and it cut into her flesh, sending her flying into the air. He leapt, and left three burning cuts across her chest. Seifer landed, his legs on either side of her hips, the tip of his gunblade against her throat. Irvine knew she was dead. Seifer forced his blade down into the corpse's neck, its flesh pale from the fear she felt in the seconds before she died. Irvine recovered himself, and shouted "No!" He drew the monosyllabic word out over the course of what seemed to him like an eternity, although it was more of three seconds. His gun found his hand, and he fired it into Seifer, Raijin, and Fujin. The first shot removed Seifer's head completely. The next took Fujin, and the third Raijin. He continued his barrage, firing it into Seifer's corpse before it got the chance to fall. Finally, his magazine depleted, the gun began to click.
He awoke to his gun in his hand, pulling the trigger, the hammer clicking. He checked the room, and saw no signs of bullet damage. He didn't keep it loaded, either. That was lucky. Still, he had failed Sis, and, in failing her, failed everyone. He had failed before, choked when orders had him assassinating Matron for her betrayal. Now he had succeeded as a sniper, but, in doing so, murdered one of the orphanage gang. "My friends wouldn't accept a murderer back, would they?" he thought. "Maybe... Maybe I have enough blood on my hands. I've killed so many. My friends can't possibly take back such a murderer. I'm nothing but a murderer. Sure, I'm supposed to be good with women too, but really all I am is a hand to carry a gun, to aim it, and to take a life." His thoughts began to leave him uncomfortable, but he let them continue. "The next life this hand's gun takes... Will end the cycle. Prevent it from claiming more. The next bullet to leave this gun... Will be the one to lay low the sniper who has slain so many."
Irvine loaded a bullet into his handgun, which he inspected as he thought. He raised the gun to his temple, slowly. His thoughts began to take a more positive path as he did so "Selphie's always been forgiving when her memory was the best. Now she likely won't even remember my mass-murderer past," he thought, not out loud. He began to pull the hammer back on the gun, his right thumb trembling "But Selphie might have forgotten me... How can I face my oldest love when she can't remember me? It's taken me five days away, and Garden is slower than the train, so it'll be six by the time I get home," still silent, still contained in the head that was to have a bullet through it. Irvine stopped his trembling, and pulled the hammer back. His finger tensed on the trigger "Rinoa will remember... I might even be forgiven by her. But is that in her power?" His finger relaxed a bit, and he was beginning to choke on his latest, self-given, mission of death. "What will she think I died for? What will anyone think? I'll be remembered for my weakness, the final crack, not for the strength I showed in surviving this long, if I'll be remembered at all." He opened the chamber on his gun, and removed the single bullet.
"Why did I ask what *Rinoa* would think? Rinoa's with Squall. Why didn't I wonder about Selphie? Do I really care more about Rinoa than Selphie?" Irvine continued his thinking, on the border between silent and a whisper, sometimes one, sometimes the other. It didn't matter, he was alone in his car. "If I do, maybe I should avoid her. I wouldn't want to interfere with my friendship with Squall, and a little interference can spell the end of it, with his memory." He continued his thoughts, shifting from leaning to his left to he right "but he won't remember anything if I do stay close to Rinoa. If I hide my feelings well enough, nobody will be the wiser." Irvine's thoughts began to follow another branching path "if I hide my feelings from my few friends. Squall once did that, but starting to seems so much like a betrayal." Thoughts of betraying his friends did not make him happy.
Later...
Irvine stayed a day at the Balamb Hotel, and watched attentively as the Garden sailed in. He stood on the Balamb Docks. Irvine had forgotten how fast it was for its size. The sea foam formed a mist around the bottom of the Garden, which scattered and reflected sunlight as it sailed. Balamb Garden at sea was truly an awe-inspiring sight. He knew that somewhere in that monstrous building, at least the size of the town of Balamb, were all of his friends. Selphie, Squall, Rinoa, Quistis, and Zell. Irvine watched as Garden approached, both with longing and dread. Longing because it had almost been a week after he last saw his friends. Dread because he wondered who would remember him. He knew Rinoa would, and hoped Selphie would. Zell was one of his best friends, and hoped for him to remember, too. "Maybe they won't have forgotten," Irvine thought. His train of thought continued "and maybe they will. I'll have to go to speak to them to find out." Some hours later, Balamb Garden left the sea onto land. It forced a large wave up as it did so. The sunlight catching off the wave was even more impressive than its sailing. The Garden began to hover to its landing site near the town of Balamb. Irvine left Balamb to meet the Garden.
At the Garden front gate, the guard admitted him, one of the Balamb Garden SeeD guards who did not use GFs. Irvine boarded, and went to find Selphie. First he checked the Quad, where she always was. Sure enough, she was there. "Hey Sefie!" he called. Selphie looked up. "I don't quite remember you. Remind me?" Irvine answered quickly "I'm Irvine. We've been together for years." "Some stuff's coming back, but not much... Rinoa's kept reminding me of you, but..." Irvine watched as Selphie searched the remains of her memory for him. He knew she was thinking of times spent together, and coming up nearly blank. After watching the pathetic sight of one who is looking for lost memories for several minutes, Irvine left to find Rinoa.
He found her outside, in the side "courtyards" between the Garden outbuildings (such as the infirmary), and the Garden Center. Nobody was around, as most of the Garden's occupants were enjoying their shore leave. She ran to him and threw her arms around the taller man's neck "Irvine! I was beginning to miss you!" Not knowing what to do (she was Squall's girlfriend, after all), he grabbed her around the back in a quick hug, then the two pulled apart. Irvine asked her a question "Rinoa, who remembers me, besides you?" She focused back on him "Squall's forgotten, Quistis remembers you as a person, but little emotion of friendship, Zell is the same way, but worse off. Selphie-" "I know, she's forgotten completely." Emotional pain filled Irvine's face. He loved Selphie dearly, and now she remembered nothing of him.
Rinoa began to speak "Irvine, why don't we get something to eat. It'll be a while before Squall calls you up to give a report, *if* he remembers to." "Sounds lovely, Rinoa." The two began to walk off to the Cafeteria. Rinoa tried to get him to hold her hand. This made Irvine even more confused "I thought you were with Squall..." He trailed off, and almost asked under his breath. "I am, but his memory is a major barrier. Then there's the fact that he's always doing Garden's paperwork. He never has any time for me." Irvine welcomed Rinoa's attention, as she did look good, but at the same time... Rinoa cheating on Squall with him... It confused him. Besides, given another week, Selphie would have forgotten that (to her memory) she just met him, and they'd be back together.
As the two of them strolled into the cafeteria, Rinoa having succeeded in digging Irvine's left hand out of the pocket he was hiding it from her right in, they saw Zell waiting in the cafeteria line. Irvine shouted to him "Zell! Good to see you again." Zell turned, and looked confused "Rinoa and... I don't quite remember you. Rinoa, I thought you and Squall were together" Rinoa began to answer as she and Irvine approached "He's Irvine, one of our old friends. He was on a six-day mission, and you've forgotten him. Squall won't remember this anyway, *if* he finds out" "Irvine! That's it. That's why he looked like one of the people in the pictures Quistis had in her journal. Meet me between the Infirmary and the Quad, outside, when you have your food, I have some stuff I need to tell you." Rinoa and Irvine walked back to the back of the line, and talked as they waited to get to their food. "Irvine, you seem depressed. What's wrong?" "I killed Seifer." "And he killed Ellone. What's wrong with what you did?" "You don't understand, and probably never will. I grew up with Seifer. He was almost an older brother to me. And now... Now he had become... A murderer. You'll never know what that's like." Rinoa pulled her right hand out of his left, and put her arm around his back. This made Irvine happy, but also confused. He was with Selphie. Rinoa was with Squall. And yet, they were together.
Irvine tried to hide his confusion, and Rinoa didn't notice. Rinoa decided she'd change the subject "So, Irvine, want to do anything to celebrate getting back in one piece? I hear there's a new restaurant in Balamb." Irvine began to think, keeping his thoughts silent "Is she asking me on a date?" Another question popped into his head "Do I really want to celebrate surviving another three murders?" Finally, a statement of fact, a decision "I need to retire. I've seen too much, killed too many." He decided against any deciding answer yet, and, trying to understand what Rinoa had in mind, simply said "Hmm?" "I was thinking the two of us, the people who remember, go off to the new restaurant." "So you're asking me on a date?" Rinoa giggled "Oh, sure, if you want," speaking in a way that made it perfectly clear that that was her intention. Irvine decided he'd put his arm around her, and Rinoa began to lean on him, putting her head against his shoulder. They didn't talk much during the rest of the quick wait, got their food, and left for the walkway between the Garden Center and the Infirmary, then turned toward the Quad. There they met Zell.
"Rinoa, Irvine, nice seeing you!" He walked closer to the two of them, and his voice fell to a whisper. "The Trepie problem got so bad that Quistis can't go to the cafeteria anymore. Squall always tells us he'll do something about it, but never remembers. She now eats at a secret area I'll show you. Follow me." The two of them followed Zell into an area planted with trees. They took a path under them, and found a small table behind a bush, concealed by the trees above it. It was nearly perfectly hidden from sight. Quistis and Xu sat at the table, old friends talking. Quistis contained herself from shouting Zell's name. "Rinoa, nice seeing you. Irvine," saying his name almost questioningly "good to see you again." Irvine reassured Quistis "You didn't misremember me." Zell, meanwhile, broke into a sprint, and was already sitting next to Quistis, his arm around her. Rinoa took a seat next to Xu, and Irvine sat on her other side.
Rinoa and Irvine set out their food, and Zell set out his tray, with both his and half of Quistis's food. She already had the other half of her supply, which Xu had brought. Zell had mastered the art of eating one-handed, his left arm draped around Quistis. Irvine knew his friends, if, with their memories, they could be called that, were happy, and it added to his happiness, and brushe away the confusion of Rinoa sitting next to him. He read Rinoa's face as she ate. She was as confused as he was regarding love. She had only ever loved Squall and Seifer until then, and never had feelings for both at once. Besides, she knew Irvine still had his attachment to Selphie. Rinoa began to speak to Irvine "Irvine, I'm beginning to have my doubts about our date." Irvine answered "we could call it off." Rinoa shook her head "nonono, not like that. I don't think we should do anything further." "Sure, Rinoa." Irvine felt small touch of jealousy for Zell and Quistis, happy together, when he had nobody. He sighed "well, I suppose I'll have to get Selphie to know me again." Zell and Quistis had their attention focused on eachother, Xu was off in her own little world, a world of regulations and rules, of structure, not a world of people. Rinoa was thinking about what she just said, so nobody noticed.
Irvine turned to look back at Rinoa. She was amazingly beautiful, and yet just slightly beyond his reach. He began to contemplate silently "if I could just break her and Squall up..." He shook his head "no, why am I thinking that. I won't hurt my friends that way." He looked up, into the green needles covering the tree branches, and the umbrella protecting the table from them. "I'll just have to go back to Selphie. I love her more that way anyway," he thought, trying to convince himself that he was not attracted to Rinoa. It didn't work that well. "Do I? Would I tell myself that if I wasn't? Would I need to?" He kept his thoughts silent, as he didn't want Rinoa to know what he was thinking about. He decided he had to distract himself. He turned to Xu. "So, how's everything going? What've you been doing?" Xu returned from a world made for regulations, not people, and turned to him "Garden management isn't tough. I'm mostly making arrangements for Squall's meetings, signing papers, deciding what he needs to review, and filling out forms that his imput isn't needed on." Their small talk continued for some time, until, eventually, they finished their food and all except Rinoa had other tasks to attend to, and so scattered from their table. Irvine left to file his mission report, Xu back to her work as a secretary, Quistis and Zell back to their work around Garden.
Author's Notes: Yes, I know I said less angst, but its so much fun to write. Sorry if you were expecting pure fluff, I have trouble not letting the angst seep in. I realize this chapter is a bit long-ish compared to the others, but I'm leaving it that way.
To my reviewers:
fallingfarther: Spelling is just a pet peeve of mine (and, apparently, of the people writing the site TOS). Ending the chapter with the sniping? I could have, and moved all of the after-sniping contemplation/monologue stuff to this chapter. There'll be more details on the addictiveness of GFs later.
Wonderful Failure: Thanks. Zell and Quistis will have their turn in the spotlight eventually. I have 11 more chapters to write, *if* I don't combine any or decide to add any new ones (new ones are likely to be pure angsty contemplation/monologue). Once that's done, I'm considering a sequel.
Green: Sorry this wasn't as fluffy as promised. As I said, angst is so much fun to write, and fluff is so hard to keep pure, at least for me.
To my other readers:
Don't you have something to say?
Irvine rode his train into Balamb. His dreams never left him. His friends, sometimes giving a hero's welcome to the returning murderer, sometimes turning him away. The worst was when they forgot Ellone, Seifer, and him completely. Sometimes he dreamed of the times Ellone broke up his fights with Seifer, and what she would think of his killing Seifer. His dreams sometimes awakened him, and left him contemplating, realizing that what Sis would have thought back at the orphanage didn't matter, as she was dead now, her life cut short by Seifer's blade. He fell back to sleep immediatly after that, despite the fact that he had (restlessly) slept the entire day before, and dreamed of Ellone's death as if he was there.
Seifer, Raijin, and Fujin leapt aboard the White SeeD ship. They rushed forward, cutting, pounding, and throwing White SeeDs aside. Irvine could do nothing but watch as Seifer's blade began to burn as he spun it, and a jet of fire leapt into Ellone from it as he charged. He spun it upward, and it cut into her flesh, sending her flying into the air. He leapt, and left three burning cuts across her chest. Seifer landed, his legs on either side of her hips, the tip of his gunblade against her throat. Irvine knew she was dead. Seifer forced his blade down into the corpse's neck, its flesh pale from the fear she felt in the seconds before she died. Irvine recovered himself, and shouted "No!" He drew the monosyllabic word out over the course of what seemed to him like an eternity, although it was more of three seconds. His gun found his hand, and he fired it into Seifer, Raijin, and Fujin. The first shot removed Seifer's head completely. The next took Fujin, and the third Raijin. He continued his barrage, firing it into Seifer's corpse before it got the chance to fall. Finally, his magazine depleted, the gun began to click.
He awoke to his gun in his hand, pulling the trigger, the hammer clicking. He checked the room, and saw no signs of bullet damage. He didn't keep it loaded, either. That was lucky. Still, he had failed Sis, and, in failing her, failed everyone. He had failed before, choked when orders had him assassinating Matron for her betrayal. Now he had succeeded as a sniper, but, in doing so, murdered one of the orphanage gang. "My friends wouldn't accept a murderer back, would they?" he thought. "Maybe... Maybe I have enough blood on my hands. I've killed so many. My friends can't possibly take back such a murderer. I'm nothing but a murderer. Sure, I'm supposed to be good with women too, but really all I am is a hand to carry a gun, to aim it, and to take a life." His thoughts began to leave him uncomfortable, but he let them continue. "The next life this hand's gun takes... Will end the cycle. Prevent it from claiming more. The next bullet to leave this gun... Will be the one to lay low the sniper who has slain so many."
Irvine loaded a bullet into his handgun, which he inspected as he thought. He raised the gun to his temple, slowly. His thoughts began to take a more positive path as he did so "Selphie's always been forgiving when her memory was the best. Now she likely won't even remember my mass-murderer past," he thought, not out loud. He began to pull the hammer back on the gun, his right thumb trembling "But Selphie might have forgotten me... How can I face my oldest love when she can't remember me? It's taken me five days away, and Garden is slower than the train, so it'll be six by the time I get home," still silent, still contained in the head that was to have a bullet through it. Irvine stopped his trembling, and pulled the hammer back. His finger tensed on the trigger "Rinoa will remember... I might even be forgiven by her. But is that in her power?" His finger relaxed a bit, and he was beginning to choke on his latest, self-given, mission of death. "What will she think I died for? What will anyone think? I'll be remembered for my weakness, the final crack, not for the strength I showed in surviving this long, if I'll be remembered at all." He opened the chamber on his gun, and removed the single bullet.
"Why did I ask what *Rinoa* would think? Rinoa's with Squall. Why didn't I wonder about Selphie? Do I really care more about Rinoa than Selphie?" Irvine continued his thinking, on the border between silent and a whisper, sometimes one, sometimes the other. It didn't matter, he was alone in his car. "If I do, maybe I should avoid her. I wouldn't want to interfere with my friendship with Squall, and a little interference can spell the end of it, with his memory." He continued his thoughts, shifting from leaning to his left to he right "but he won't remember anything if I do stay close to Rinoa. If I hide my feelings well enough, nobody will be the wiser." Irvine's thoughts began to follow another branching path "if I hide my feelings from my few friends. Squall once did that, but starting to seems so much like a betrayal." Thoughts of betraying his friends did not make him happy.
Later...
Irvine stayed a day at the Balamb Hotel, and watched attentively as the Garden sailed in. He stood on the Balamb Docks. Irvine had forgotten how fast it was for its size. The sea foam formed a mist around the bottom of the Garden, which scattered and reflected sunlight as it sailed. Balamb Garden at sea was truly an awe-inspiring sight. He knew that somewhere in that monstrous building, at least the size of the town of Balamb, were all of his friends. Selphie, Squall, Rinoa, Quistis, and Zell. Irvine watched as Garden approached, both with longing and dread. Longing because it had almost been a week after he last saw his friends. Dread because he wondered who would remember him. He knew Rinoa would, and hoped Selphie would. Zell was one of his best friends, and hoped for him to remember, too. "Maybe they won't have forgotten," Irvine thought. His train of thought continued "and maybe they will. I'll have to go to speak to them to find out." Some hours later, Balamb Garden left the sea onto land. It forced a large wave up as it did so. The sunlight catching off the wave was even more impressive than its sailing. The Garden began to hover to its landing site near the town of Balamb. Irvine left Balamb to meet the Garden.
At the Garden front gate, the guard admitted him, one of the Balamb Garden SeeD guards who did not use GFs. Irvine boarded, and went to find Selphie. First he checked the Quad, where she always was. Sure enough, she was there. "Hey Sefie!" he called. Selphie looked up. "I don't quite remember you. Remind me?" Irvine answered quickly "I'm Irvine. We've been together for years." "Some stuff's coming back, but not much... Rinoa's kept reminding me of you, but..." Irvine watched as Selphie searched the remains of her memory for him. He knew she was thinking of times spent together, and coming up nearly blank. After watching the pathetic sight of one who is looking for lost memories for several minutes, Irvine left to find Rinoa.
He found her outside, in the side "courtyards" between the Garden outbuildings (such as the infirmary), and the Garden Center. Nobody was around, as most of the Garden's occupants were enjoying their shore leave. She ran to him and threw her arms around the taller man's neck "Irvine! I was beginning to miss you!" Not knowing what to do (she was Squall's girlfriend, after all), he grabbed her around the back in a quick hug, then the two pulled apart. Irvine asked her a question "Rinoa, who remembers me, besides you?" She focused back on him "Squall's forgotten, Quistis remembers you as a person, but little emotion of friendship, Zell is the same way, but worse off. Selphie-" "I know, she's forgotten completely." Emotional pain filled Irvine's face. He loved Selphie dearly, and now she remembered nothing of him.
Rinoa began to speak "Irvine, why don't we get something to eat. It'll be a while before Squall calls you up to give a report, *if* he remembers to." "Sounds lovely, Rinoa." The two began to walk off to the Cafeteria. Rinoa tried to get him to hold her hand. This made Irvine even more confused "I thought you were with Squall..." He trailed off, and almost asked under his breath. "I am, but his memory is a major barrier. Then there's the fact that he's always doing Garden's paperwork. He never has any time for me." Irvine welcomed Rinoa's attention, as she did look good, but at the same time... Rinoa cheating on Squall with him... It confused him. Besides, given another week, Selphie would have forgotten that (to her memory) she just met him, and they'd be back together.
As the two of them strolled into the cafeteria, Rinoa having succeeded in digging Irvine's left hand out of the pocket he was hiding it from her right in, they saw Zell waiting in the cafeteria line. Irvine shouted to him "Zell! Good to see you again." Zell turned, and looked confused "Rinoa and... I don't quite remember you. Rinoa, I thought you and Squall were together" Rinoa began to answer as she and Irvine approached "He's Irvine, one of our old friends. He was on a six-day mission, and you've forgotten him. Squall won't remember this anyway, *if* he finds out" "Irvine! That's it. That's why he looked like one of the people in the pictures Quistis had in her journal. Meet me between the Infirmary and the Quad, outside, when you have your food, I have some stuff I need to tell you." Rinoa and Irvine walked back to the back of the line, and talked as they waited to get to their food. "Irvine, you seem depressed. What's wrong?" "I killed Seifer." "And he killed Ellone. What's wrong with what you did?" "You don't understand, and probably never will. I grew up with Seifer. He was almost an older brother to me. And now... Now he had become... A murderer. You'll never know what that's like." Rinoa pulled her right hand out of his left, and put her arm around his back. This made Irvine happy, but also confused. He was with Selphie. Rinoa was with Squall. And yet, they were together.
Irvine tried to hide his confusion, and Rinoa didn't notice. Rinoa decided she'd change the subject "So, Irvine, want to do anything to celebrate getting back in one piece? I hear there's a new restaurant in Balamb." Irvine began to think, keeping his thoughts silent "Is she asking me on a date?" Another question popped into his head "Do I really want to celebrate surviving another three murders?" Finally, a statement of fact, a decision "I need to retire. I've seen too much, killed too many." He decided against any deciding answer yet, and, trying to understand what Rinoa had in mind, simply said "Hmm?" "I was thinking the two of us, the people who remember, go off to the new restaurant." "So you're asking me on a date?" Rinoa giggled "Oh, sure, if you want," speaking in a way that made it perfectly clear that that was her intention. Irvine decided he'd put his arm around her, and Rinoa began to lean on him, putting her head against his shoulder. They didn't talk much during the rest of the quick wait, got their food, and left for the walkway between the Garden Center and the Infirmary, then turned toward the Quad. There they met Zell.
"Rinoa, Irvine, nice seeing you!" He walked closer to the two of them, and his voice fell to a whisper. "The Trepie problem got so bad that Quistis can't go to the cafeteria anymore. Squall always tells us he'll do something about it, but never remembers. She now eats at a secret area I'll show you. Follow me." The two of them followed Zell into an area planted with trees. They took a path under them, and found a small table behind a bush, concealed by the trees above it. It was nearly perfectly hidden from sight. Quistis and Xu sat at the table, old friends talking. Quistis contained herself from shouting Zell's name. "Rinoa, nice seeing you. Irvine," saying his name almost questioningly "good to see you again." Irvine reassured Quistis "You didn't misremember me." Zell, meanwhile, broke into a sprint, and was already sitting next to Quistis, his arm around her. Rinoa took a seat next to Xu, and Irvine sat on her other side.
Rinoa and Irvine set out their food, and Zell set out his tray, with both his and half of Quistis's food. She already had the other half of her supply, which Xu had brought. Zell had mastered the art of eating one-handed, his left arm draped around Quistis. Irvine knew his friends, if, with their memories, they could be called that, were happy, and it added to his happiness, and brushe away the confusion of Rinoa sitting next to him. He read Rinoa's face as she ate. She was as confused as he was regarding love. She had only ever loved Squall and Seifer until then, and never had feelings for both at once. Besides, she knew Irvine still had his attachment to Selphie. Rinoa began to speak to Irvine "Irvine, I'm beginning to have my doubts about our date." Irvine answered "we could call it off." Rinoa shook her head "nonono, not like that. I don't think we should do anything further." "Sure, Rinoa." Irvine felt small touch of jealousy for Zell and Quistis, happy together, when he had nobody. He sighed "well, I suppose I'll have to get Selphie to know me again." Zell and Quistis had their attention focused on eachother, Xu was off in her own little world, a world of regulations and rules, of structure, not a world of people. Rinoa was thinking about what she just said, so nobody noticed.
Irvine turned to look back at Rinoa. She was amazingly beautiful, and yet just slightly beyond his reach. He began to contemplate silently "if I could just break her and Squall up..." He shook his head "no, why am I thinking that. I won't hurt my friends that way." He looked up, into the green needles covering the tree branches, and the umbrella protecting the table from them. "I'll just have to go back to Selphie. I love her more that way anyway," he thought, trying to convince himself that he was not attracted to Rinoa. It didn't work that well. "Do I? Would I tell myself that if I wasn't? Would I need to?" He kept his thoughts silent, as he didn't want Rinoa to know what he was thinking about. He decided he had to distract himself. He turned to Xu. "So, how's everything going? What've you been doing?" Xu returned from a world made for regulations, not people, and turned to him "Garden management isn't tough. I'm mostly making arrangements for Squall's meetings, signing papers, deciding what he needs to review, and filling out forms that his imput isn't needed on." Their small talk continued for some time, until, eventually, they finished their food and all except Rinoa had other tasks to attend to, and so scattered from their table. Irvine left to file his mission report, Xu back to her work as a secretary, Quistis and Zell back to their work around Garden.
Author's Notes: Yes, I know I said less angst, but its so much fun to write. Sorry if you were expecting pure fluff, I have trouble not letting the angst seep in. I realize this chapter is a bit long-ish compared to the others, but I'm leaving it that way.
To my reviewers:
fallingfarther: Spelling is just a pet peeve of mine (and, apparently, of the people writing the site TOS). Ending the chapter with the sniping? I could have, and moved all of the after-sniping contemplation/monologue stuff to this chapter. There'll be more details on the addictiveness of GFs later.
Wonderful Failure: Thanks. Zell and Quistis will have their turn in the spotlight eventually. I have 11 more chapters to write, *if* I don't combine any or decide to add any new ones (new ones are likely to be pure angsty contemplation/monologue). Once that's done, I'm considering a sequel.
Green: Sorry this wasn't as fluffy as promised. As I said, angst is so much fun to write, and fluff is so hard to keep pure, at least for me.
To my other readers:
Don't you have something to say?