"Three years Later"
A YuGiOh story as told by Sweetaholic Ex Con and Natnee.
Chapter One: Kaiba's Depressed, is gambling the answer?
It all started when Kaiba wanted to die. He wanted to die because YamiYuGi wouldn't duel with him. All he wanted to do was summon some monsters, but no. YamiYuGi was too selfish. Too bad. Kaiba got his rarest card, which was Obelisk the Tormentor. He took it and tried to slit his wrist. 'Damn these paper cuts! Don't do anything! Worthless pieces of crap!' he tore up his Obelisk the Tormentor card. 'Oh no! My best card! I will kill Yugi for this!' He got up out of his seat and went to find Yugi. He walked into the casino, in hope to find Yugi there, perhaps with Tea. But instead, he found Mokuba there. 'One million on the red!' he heard Mokuba say, handing over a load of chips. 'And the winner is... BLACK. You lose.' Said the dealer. 'Oh well, I know Seto's credit card number, I can just get some more.' He replied, and walked off with the credit card in his hand. 'Where did you get that!' asked Kaiba, coming up behind Mokuba. 'What? I don't have a credit card! Stop saying I have a credit card. Its not yours!' he replied, hiding it behind his back. 'I don't have a gambling problem! I came in here to find, um, uh, um... you!' 'Why would I be in here?' asked Kaiba. 'Looking for Yugi of course! Still not duelling with you mate.' Mokuba replied, patting him on the shoulder. Kaiba frowned. 'Shut up.' Said Kaiba, grabbing the credit card and walking away. 'Hey I need that!' yelled Mokuba, running after him. 'Keep out of trouble Mokuba, and stay away from my wallet!' said Kaiba, walking out of the casino. Mokuba pulled out another credit card. 'Always keep a spare.' He said, slipping it into his pocket walking back to the pokie machines.
Chapter Two: Five Bloody Months
Kaiba opened the door slowly to his office. Before he turned on the light, he could hear people making some sort of noise. He turned on the light to find Tea lying on his desk with Yami Yugi on top of her. 'What the hell?' he yelled, outraged. They both stared at him, red in the face. 'What are you doing back so soon?' asked Tea, doing up her buttons quickly.
'What the hell are you two doing in my office? On my desk? I have to sit there! I put my coffee on there! How long has this been going on?' asked Kaiba, yelling. They both shuffled their feet and looked down. 'HOW LONG?' demanded Kaiba. 'Well, only for about...' started Tea. 'Five months.' Yami finished. 'FIVE BLOODY MONTHS?' yelled Kaiba. 'GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!' They quickly ran out, Yami holding his shirt in his hands. 'Stupid kids.' He looked at the desk in disgust and noticed a picture of his mother. The frame was slightly broken. 'OH MY GOD! WHAT HAVE THEY DONE!!!' he yelled, falling onto his knees. 'NOOOO, MUMMY! NOOOO!' His secretary outside looked strangely towards the door. She opened the door and walked in. 'What are you doing on the floor?' she asked him. 'She opened the door and walked in. 'What are you doing on the floor?' she asked him. 'Yami, Mum, Tea. Get rid of this desk! Burn it! Burn it until its ashes are ashes! Just get it out of my sight!' replied Kaiba, still on the floor. She nodded and walked out. Kaiba walked out of the office and went to see Yami. 'Yami, when I said you could be a tester for the merchandise, I didn't mean you could test my personal assistant!' said Kaiba to him. 'We didn't mean it, it was an accident! It sort of just happened!' Yami said. 'How can something like that just happen on MY desk?' he asked. 'Hey, cut me some slack! I am over one thousand years old!' replied Yami. 'Yeah, but Yugi's not! He must be so disappointed! Disgraceful!' said Kaiba, shaking his head. At that moment, Tea appeared. 'Sorry Mr Kaiba, take some money out of my wages to pay for a new desk.' She said. 'Yes, I will! You are too young to be doing that sort of thing on your bosses desk. Now when you are twenty one, that is a different story. Ah, old memories.' Said Kaiba, remembering. They both looked at him with raised eyebrows. 'Hey, I am one thousand years old! I can do what I want! Your not my father!' said Yami. 'Don't make me fire you, boy! Now about our duel...' started Kaiba. 'Um, lunch break! C'mon Tea!' replied Yami, and quickly stood up and led Tea away as quickly as possible.
Chapter Three: Mokuba Mental.
Tea and Yami walked into the Casino restaurant and sat down at a table. At that point, Mokuba come in, waving a credit card in the air, doing his 'cool walk.' He 'cool walked' over to the couple and sat down. 'Hey love birds!' he said. 'I will shout you lunch, or should I say, "Seto" will!' He flashed the credit card to them. 'How long did you know we were, you know?' asked Yami, eyeing him suspiciously. 'Oh I knew from the start! I walked in on you a couple of times. You know, Seto's desk isn't really that hygienic, you should try his private chambers! His bed is really comfortable. He lets me cuddle up to him on lonely nights.' Said Mokuba. 'But then again, when isn't it a lonely night for Seto?' Yami and Tea looked at each other in a scared way. 'But I thought he was engaged not long back?' asked Tea. 'Yeah, that was a sham. Just to make everyone believe he had had, you know, relations.' Replied Mokuba, looking over the menu. 'What do you mean when you say relations?' asked Yami. Tea patted his hand.
'What we do, Yami baby.' She said affectionately. 'Oh.' He said, raising his eyebrows. 'Yeah, did you know Seto is still a virgin?' said Mokuba, telling the waiter to bring him lobster. 'That was a little more than we needed to know.' Said Tea, showing a sick look on her face. 'Well, he is always so busy with his duelling, trying to get better than Yugi. He doesn't have time for anything else, not even taking his little brother trick or treating now!' said Mokuba, getting ready for his lobster.
'We don't really want to...' started Tea. 'You know, Seto's love life is kinda sad. He once had a girlfriend. She was a pretty one too. I remember it like it was yesterday, oh wait, it was yesterday! She dumped him last night, that's probably why he was so uptight about you two. He wouldn't even let me share his bed. He was to busy crying, poor guy.' Said Mokuba, starting to eat his lobster at last. 'You know Mokuba, I don't think you should be telling us this...' started Tea when Yami stopped her. 'Shh, I wanna hear this.' He said, getting out a note pad and pen. 'Yami baby! Don't talk about your boss like that!' she said. 'Go on, Mokuba.' Said Yami, ignoring Tea. 'Their break up was kind of weird. Seto kept asking her to duel him, and she thought duelling meant "something else" and she left. Oh, and she slapped him in the face! That's mostly why he cried. Mostly, not all, mostly.' He replied, shoving his mouth with the last of the lobster.
Chapter Four: Stupid Sexy Merik
Kaiba called Tea into his office. 'Tea, can I have a little chat?' he asked her when she walked in. She noticed a new desk. 'Nice desk!' she said. 'Don't even think about it, unless you're thinking of me and you, but anyway, our chat...' he replied. She gave him a strange look. 'Yes, I need to talk to you too, Mr. Kaiba.' She replied, sitting down. 'Please, call me Mr. Seto.' He said, winking at her. She smiled crookedly and nodded. 'Mr Seto, there is something I have to tell you.' She started. 'Excuse me, I will go first!' he said. 'I need to ask you something Tea. Do you think of us as more than friends?' He leant over his desk to look her in the eyes. She looked around the room, hoping to find something that could help her. 'No, Mr. Seto, we are just work colleagues.' She said. 'Well, I think of you all the time, wishing we were just a little more.' He said. 'Err, Mr Seto?' she said, backing her chair away. 'I think you are the best, and I wish you were mine! I love you, Tea!' he said, getting up out of his chair and grabbed her, pashing her. 'Wow, that's my first kiss!' 'Mr Seto? I came in here to tell you I am quitting!' she said. He started to laugh. He laughed his evil crazy laugh. 'Good joke Tea!' he laughed. 'Did you really want to tell me what a spunk I am?' 'Err, you sure are Mr. Kaiba, but err, I do actually have to quit.' She said, rolling her eyes at him. 'Oh my god, you are serious. You can't leave me Tea! I love you and you just cant leave me all alone!' he shouted. 'Why, it will be like always, you are always alone aren't you?' she asked. He burst out crying. 'Oh Tea I love you, stay please stay!' he cried, tears rolling down his cheeks. The door to his office opened and Mokuba walked in. 'What's going on here?' asked Mokuba. 'Go away! I don't want you to see me cry!' said Kaiba, turning around. 'Aw, I have seen you cry heaps of times before Seto!' said Mokuba, taking a step forward. 'Not this time, this time it is about Tea.' He replied. 'I have seen you cry about Tea before, though.' Said Mokuba. 'Shut up!' yelled Kaiba. Mokuba shut the door behind him. 'Why are you crying though?' asked Mokuba. 'Tea is leaving! How could she leave me all alone!' said Kaiba, letting his tears fall. 'But you were always alone... wait! Tea's leaving! How could you leave me all alone Tea! You know how I feel!' said Mokuba. 'Mokuba, you aren't really my type.' She said, patting his shoulder. 'Oh, its because I am short, isn't it! I didn't think you would be one to judge on hight, Tea, but oh was I wrong. I thought I knew you, I guess not!' Said Mokuba, small tears appearing in his eyes. 'But I am in love with Merik! And he is leaving, I have to follow my hearts true desire!' she said, sitting uncomfortably in her chair. 'Stupid sexy Merik!' both Mokuba and Kaiba said at once. 'I suppose I will go and pack my things.' She said, walking out of the room, leaving the Kaiba brothers to cry in each others arms.
She knocked on YuGi's front door. Grampa opened it. 'Oh hello Tea. It is such a delight to see you!' he said, eyeing her up and down. 'I see you are wearing that pink mini skirt again!' 'Er, whatever. Is Yugi home?' she asked. 'Yes he is, what do you want to see him for? By the way, leave it for Kaiba's desk! Yugi knows he must keep his bed clean for those cold and lonely nights!' he said. 'Whatever, I just need to tell him that I am leaving him for Merik, my one true love!' she said, sighing at the thought of Merik. 'Stupid sexy Merik.' Said Grampa under his breath. 'What was that?' asked Tea. 'Nothing!' he said quickly. 'Yugi is in his room, you can go up now.' She walked up the stairs and entered Yugi's room. 'Baby, I have to tell you something?' she said, running into his arms. 'Huh?' he said, star struck. 'I need to tell you I am sorry and goodbye. I am leaving with Merik. I love him. I cannot be with you anymore. Goodbye!' she said, kissing him one last time. He opened his eyes wide when she finally broke away. 'Er, please say something.' She said. 'Wow...' He said, after a long time of staring at her. 'Err, Yami Baby?' she asked. He shook his head. 'Yugi... wow...' he said, staring into space. 'Huh? Oh my god... you are Yugi!' she said. 'Change to Yami, NOW!' she ordered. Yugi did as she said straight away. 'Oh my god, you're leaving me!' said Yami, sitting down on his bed. 'I have never been dumped before.' 'Is that all you are thinking about? Being dumped?' she asked, outraged. 'Well, I haven't been dumped before, and I am finding it quite interesting. Please, continue.' He said. 'What? That's it, I am outta here! Oh and here is the invitation to my going away party. Oh, and be nice to Merik!' she said, handing him the invitation. 'Merik will be there? Why?' he asked. 'He is my one true love, of course! Be nice to him too!' she said, walking out of the room. 'Stupid sext Merik!' said Yami. 'What was that?' said Tea, sticking her head back in the room. 'Oh, nothing.' He said. She walked out.
Chapter Five:
'Darling, would you like me to get you a drink?' asked Tristan, looking over Serenity's shoulder. 'No! And stop calling me darling! You know I don't like that!' she said, looking away. 'Sorry hunny.' He said. She looked at him with an evil look. 'Well, weren't you supposed to be getting my drink! Hurry up!' she said. He rushed off without another word. 'So, how are you and Tristan going?' asked Joey, coming over to talk to her. 'Oh, good, good!' she replied, smiling. 'That's my little sis! Will you hurry up and make me an uncle?' he asked. 'Sure, when the time is right! Just a few more months.' she said. Joey rubbed her now very big stomach. He walked away, and Serenity watched him walk into the bathroom. Tristan returned with her drink. 'Here you are, dearest.' He said, handing her a glass. 'I don't like orange juice, stupid!' she yelled, tipping the drink over his head. 'But that wasn't orange juice.' He said, wiping it out of his eyes. 'I don't care! Clean yourself up before Tea comes, we don't want to make the wrong impression. And get me another drink!' she called to him as he walked to the bathroom. He walked into the bathroom and saw Joey washing his hands. 'Hey, what happened to you?' asked Joey. 'Serenity spilt her drink on me again.' He replied. 'I didn't know girls got clumsy when they got pregnant.' Said Joey thoughtfully. 'They don't. Just very angry and emotional!' said Tristan, washing the drink out of his hair. 'Hey, I heard that Tea was trying to get pregnant too!' said Joey. 'What? With who?' asked Tristan. 'Anybody she can lay her hands on! Mokuba, Seto, hell, even Yugi!' he replied, drying his hands. 'Yugi? But he is only sixteen! But wait, that Mokuba kid is even younger isn't he? Wow, and I never thought she would go for Kaiba, he is a bit loopy isn't he? All because Yugi wouldn't duel him.' Said Tristan. 'Yeah, well I heard Tea wanted to do it with Kaiba on his new desk!' said Joey. 'What? Where did you hear that?' asked Tristan. 'Kaiba told me. Well, I guess its better her doing it with him than Yugi!' said Joey. They both laughed and walked out of the bathroom. 'Serenity dear! I have something you would wanna hear!' said Tristan, coming up to her. 'What? Hurry up and spit it out!' she said, still holding the empty glass. 'Tea...' The rumour spread quickly. Serenity told Mokuba, Mokuba told Kaiba, and Kaiba told Yugi. But Joey on the other hand told everyone else at the party. 'Oh my god! I can't believe Tea might be pregnant with me!' said Yami. 'Yeah, or me!' said Kaiba. 'Wait, I don't remember ever doing it with her on my new desk! Oh well, rumours are never wrong. I might have gotten drunk.' 'Yeah, whatever.' Said Yami. At that moment, Tea walked in with Merik. 'Stupid sexy Merik.' The whole room whispered together. 'What?' asked Merik. 'Nothing!' they all said together, and went on talking about Tea.
'Hi Serenity! How are you? Hows the pregnancy?' asked Tea. 'Oh everything is just fine!' she replied. 'Oh, I just can't wait to go with Merik on vacation!' said Tea excitedly. Serenity frowned. 'Stupid sexy Merik!' she mumbled. 'What?' asked Tea. 'Good for you!' she replied. 'I need to go over there now, because, um, err, Tristan is over there!' she said, and walked away. 'Why can't you be sexy?' she asked Tristan when he reached him. 'I thought I was, how else would I get you pregnant?' he asked, looking worried. 'No one else would go out with me after the eye operation went wrong. You were the only one left who still liked me. And now that I have you, you can never get away because I own you forever because I am carrying your child! You can never get away!' she added an evil laugh and walked away.
'I would like to make a toast to Tea.' Said Yugi, standing up, holding his glass. The other night, Tea kissed me. It was the best night of my life! I love you Tea! In a non-sexual way of course!' he said reassuringly. He changed to Yami. 'I would also like to say a few words. Tea, those lunchbreaks on Kaiba's desk were the best ten minutes of my life. You really made those five months special. Good luck.' He said. 'Tea, whatever you do, don't stay with the father, he is always the most annoying person! And don't eat chocolate bars, they make you fatter than you should be, being pregnant and all. Good luck with the baby!' said Serenity. The crowd clapped politely. 'Merik, pray that your girl doesn't turn out like mine. A nightmare.' Said Tristan. 'Tea, I pray for you.' 'Everyone, I know about these rumours about me and Tea on my new desk. They are true. And she is most likely pregnant with my baby, as I got drunk every single night after she told me she was leaving, and every single night I got drunk, we did it.' Said Kaiba. The crowd stared at him. 'Possible baby names. If it is a boy, Seto Junior, and if it is a girl, Setoina!' he declared. 'I want you to send me pictures all the time, and I want the right to visit my child!' 'Uh, Mr. Kaiba? I am not pregnant, and if I were, it wouldn't be with you!' she said, standing up. 'What? But what about the nights on my desk?' he asked. Everyone turned to face Tea. 'There weren't any nights like that! And if there was, they weren't with me!' she said. Now everyone turned to face Kaiba. 'Well, everyone is telling me I did it with you! I personally don't remember, but rumours are never wrong.' Said Kaiba, taking a sip of his wine. The crowd turns to face Tea. 'Yes they are! They are pretty much always wrong! And there is something wrong with you too, Kaiba!' she said. The crowd faced Kaiba. 'Hey! I am not the one sleeping around on peoples desks!' he replied. Some body guards came up and dragged him off the stage. 'I'll be back!' he yelled in a drunk voice. 'My brother is a very lonely man, that is why he drinks and lets me take my credit cards! That reminds me of a story! He had a girlfriend once. I remember it like it was last week. Wait, it was last week! Well, she was a pretty one too...' The whole crowd was getting weary and scared of his stories about Kaiba. 'Oh yeah... and there was that time he was so upset when his cat ran away! He cried for a week! That reminds me of a story! He once had a girlfriend... and pretty one too!' Some guards came up and took him away also. 'I'll be back as well!' he yelled to the crowd.
Tea and Merik hopped on Merik's motorbike. Merik revved up the engine, and started down the road with Tea, her arms around his waist. Kaiba came running out. 'NOOO!!! MUMMY! NOOO!!!' he yelled, as he threw his wine bottle towards them. The bottle hit Merik in the side of the head and they veered off the road into a ditch where the motorbike exploded into a million pieces. Everybody just stood there staring. 'Oh my god.' Said Mokuba. 'There was wine left in that bottle! Kaiba!' Everyone just started at him. Everything was silent. cricket sound. They all start walking inside leaving Kaiba on the side of the road. He got out his last Egyptian God Card and looked at it. 'My last Egyptian God Card. This one will kill me before!' He started to cut himself. 'Damn these paper cuts! Wait, calm down Seto! Don't do what you did to your other two Egyptian God Cards! Worthless pieces of CRAP!!!!!!' he ripped it up. 'NOO!!! MUMMY!!! NOOOO!!!!' and he sat on the side of the road, crying.
The End.
Note: Kaiba is not really like this. He is so much more better... but in this he is funny! We have also researched into the cruelty to YuGiOh! cards and found that it is perfectly legal to rip up cards in a non fiction story, although many complaints have been sent in.
A YuGiOh story as told by Sweetaholic Ex Con and Natnee.
Chapter One: Kaiba's Depressed, is gambling the answer?
It all started when Kaiba wanted to die. He wanted to die because YamiYuGi wouldn't duel with him. All he wanted to do was summon some monsters, but no. YamiYuGi was too selfish. Too bad. Kaiba got his rarest card, which was Obelisk the Tormentor. He took it and tried to slit his wrist. 'Damn these paper cuts! Don't do anything! Worthless pieces of crap!' he tore up his Obelisk the Tormentor card. 'Oh no! My best card! I will kill Yugi for this!' He got up out of his seat and went to find Yugi. He walked into the casino, in hope to find Yugi there, perhaps with Tea. But instead, he found Mokuba there. 'One million on the red!' he heard Mokuba say, handing over a load of chips. 'And the winner is... BLACK. You lose.' Said the dealer. 'Oh well, I know Seto's credit card number, I can just get some more.' He replied, and walked off with the credit card in his hand. 'Where did you get that!' asked Kaiba, coming up behind Mokuba. 'What? I don't have a credit card! Stop saying I have a credit card. Its not yours!' he replied, hiding it behind his back. 'I don't have a gambling problem! I came in here to find, um, uh, um... you!' 'Why would I be in here?' asked Kaiba. 'Looking for Yugi of course! Still not duelling with you mate.' Mokuba replied, patting him on the shoulder. Kaiba frowned. 'Shut up.' Said Kaiba, grabbing the credit card and walking away. 'Hey I need that!' yelled Mokuba, running after him. 'Keep out of trouble Mokuba, and stay away from my wallet!' said Kaiba, walking out of the casino. Mokuba pulled out another credit card. 'Always keep a spare.' He said, slipping it into his pocket walking back to the pokie machines.
Chapter Two: Five Bloody Months
Kaiba opened the door slowly to his office. Before he turned on the light, he could hear people making some sort of noise. He turned on the light to find Tea lying on his desk with Yami Yugi on top of her. 'What the hell?' he yelled, outraged. They both stared at him, red in the face. 'What are you doing back so soon?' asked Tea, doing up her buttons quickly.
'What the hell are you two doing in my office? On my desk? I have to sit there! I put my coffee on there! How long has this been going on?' asked Kaiba, yelling. They both shuffled their feet and looked down. 'HOW LONG?' demanded Kaiba. 'Well, only for about...' started Tea. 'Five months.' Yami finished. 'FIVE BLOODY MONTHS?' yelled Kaiba. 'GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!' They quickly ran out, Yami holding his shirt in his hands. 'Stupid kids.' He looked at the desk in disgust and noticed a picture of his mother. The frame was slightly broken. 'OH MY GOD! WHAT HAVE THEY DONE!!!' he yelled, falling onto his knees. 'NOOOO, MUMMY! NOOOO!' His secretary outside looked strangely towards the door. She opened the door and walked in. 'What are you doing on the floor?' she asked him. 'She opened the door and walked in. 'What are you doing on the floor?' she asked him. 'Yami, Mum, Tea. Get rid of this desk! Burn it! Burn it until its ashes are ashes! Just get it out of my sight!' replied Kaiba, still on the floor. She nodded and walked out. Kaiba walked out of the office and went to see Yami. 'Yami, when I said you could be a tester for the merchandise, I didn't mean you could test my personal assistant!' said Kaiba to him. 'We didn't mean it, it was an accident! It sort of just happened!' Yami said. 'How can something like that just happen on MY desk?' he asked. 'Hey, cut me some slack! I am over one thousand years old!' replied Yami. 'Yeah, but Yugi's not! He must be so disappointed! Disgraceful!' said Kaiba, shaking his head. At that moment, Tea appeared. 'Sorry Mr Kaiba, take some money out of my wages to pay for a new desk.' She said. 'Yes, I will! You are too young to be doing that sort of thing on your bosses desk. Now when you are twenty one, that is a different story. Ah, old memories.' Said Kaiba, remembering. They both looked at him with raised eyebrows. 'Hey, I am one thousand years old! I can do what I want! Your not my father!' said Yami. 'Don't make me fire you, boy! Now about our duel...' started Kaiba. 'Um, lunch break! C'mon Tea!' replied Yami, and quickly stood up and led Tea away as quickly as possible.
Chapter Three: Mokuba Mental.
Tea and Yami walked into the Casino restaurant and sat down at a table. At that point, Mokuba come in, waving a credit card in the air, doing his 'cool walk.' He 'cool walked' over to the couple and sat down. 'Hey love birds!' he said. 'I will shout you lunch, or should I say, "Seto" will!' He flashed the credit card to them. 'How long did you know we were, you know?' asked Yami, eyeing him suspiciously. 'Oh I knew from the start! I walked in on you a couple of times. You know, Seto's desk isn't really that hygienic, you should try his private chambers! His bed is really comfortable. He lets me cuddle up to him on lonely nights.' Said Mokuba. 'But then again, when isn't it a lonely night for Seto?' Yami and Tea looked at each other in a scared way. 'But I thought he was engaged not long back?' asked Tea. 'Yeah, that was a sham. Just to make everyone believe he had had, you know, relations.' Replied Mokuba, looking over the menu. 'What do you mean when you say relations?' asked Yami. Tea patted his hand.
'What we do, Yami baby.' She said affectionately. 'Oh.' He said, raising his eyebrows. 'Yeah, did you know Seto is still a virgin?' said Mokuba, telling the waiter to bring him lobster. 'That was a little more than we needed to know.' Said Tea, showing a sick look on her face. 'Well, he is always so busy with his duelling, trying to get better than Yugi. He doesn't have time for anything else, not even taking his little brother trick or treating now!' said Mokuba, getting ready for his lobster.
'We don't really want to...' started Tea. 'You know, Seto's love life is kinda sad. He once had a girlfriend. She was a pretty one too. I remember it like it was yesterday, oh wait, it was yesterday! She dumped him last night, that's probably why he was so uptight about you two. He wouldn't even let me share his bed. He was to busy crying, poor guy.' Said Mokuba, starting to eat his lobster at last. 'You know Mokuba, I don't think you should be telling us this...' started Tea when Yami stopped her. 'Shh, I wanna hear this.' He said, getting out a note pad and pen. 'Yami baby! Don't talk about your boss like that!' she said. 'Go on, Mokuba.' Said Yami, ignoring Tea. 'Their break up was kind of weird. Seto kept asking her to duel him, and she thought duelling meant "something else" and she left. Oh, and she slapped him in the face! That's mostly why he cried. Mostly, not all, mostly.' He replied, shoving his mouth with the last of the lobster.
Chapter Four: Stupid Sexy Merik
Kaiba called Tea into his office. 'Tea, can I have a little chat?' he asked her when she walked in. She noticed a new desk. 'Nice desk!' she said. 'Don't even think about it, unless you're thinking of me and you, but anyway, our chat...' he replied. She gave him a strange look. 'Yes, I need to talk to you too, Mr. Kaiba.' She replied, sitting down. 'Please, call me Mr. Seto.' He said, winking at her. She smiled crookedly and nodded. 'Mr Seto, there is something I have to tell you.' She started. 'Excuse me, I will go first!' he said. 'I need to ask you something Tea. Do you think of us as more than friends?' He leant over his desk to look her in the eyes. She looked around the room, hoping to find something that could help her. 'No, Mr. Seto, we are just work colleagues.' She said. 'Well, I think of you all the time, wishing we were just a little more.' He said. 'Err, Mr Seto?' she said, backing her chair away. 'I think you are the best, and I wish you were mine! I love you, Tea!' he said, getting up out of his chair and grabbed her, pashing her. 'Wow, that's my first kiss!' 'Mr Seto? I came in here to tell you I am quitting!' she said. He started to laugh. He laughed his evil crazy laugh. 'Good joke Tea!' he laughed. 'Did you really want to tell me what a spunk I am?' 'Err, you sure are Mr. Kaiba, but err, I do actually have to quit.' She said, rolling her eyes at him. 'Oh my god, you are serious. You can't leave me Tea! I love you and you just cant leave me all alone!' he shouted. 'Why, it will be like always, you are always alone aren't you?' she asked. He burst out crying. 'Oh Tea I love you, stay please stay!' he cried, tears rolling down his cheeks. The door to his office opened and Mokuba walked in. 'What's going on here?' asked Mokuba. 'Go away! I don't want you to see me cry!' said Kaiba, turning around. 'Aw, I have seen you cry heaps of times before Seto!' said Mokuba, taking a step forward. 'Not this time, this time it is about Tea.' He replied. 'I have seen you cry about Tea before, though.' Said Mokuba. 'Shut up!' yelled Kaiba. Mokuba shut the door behind him. 'Why are you crying though?' asked Mokuba. 'Tea is leaving! How could she leave me all alone!' said Kaiba, letting his tears fall. 'But you were always alone... wait! Tea's leaving! How could you leave me all alone Tea! You know how I feel!' said Mokuba. 'Mokuba, you aren't really my type.' She said, patting his shoulder. 'Oh, its because I am short, isn't it! I didn't think you would be one to judge on hight, Tea, but oh was I wrong. I thought I knew you, I guess not!' Said Mokuba, small tears appearing in his eyes. 'But I am in love with Merik! And he is leaving, I have to follow my hearts true desire!' she said, sitting uncomfortably in her chair. 'Stupid sexy Merik!' both Mokuba and Kaiba said at once. 'I suppose I will go and pack my things.' She said, walking out of the room, leaving the Kaiba brothers to cry in each others arms.
She knocked on YuGi's front door. Grampa opened it. 'Oh hello Tea. It is such a delight to see you!' he said, eyeing her up and down. 'I see you are wearing that pink mini skirt again!' 'Er, whatever. Is Yugi home?' she asked. 'Yes he is, what do you want to see him for? By the way, leave it for Kaiba's desk! Yugi knows he must keep his bed clean for those cold and lonely nights!' he said. 'Whatever, I just need to tell him that I am leaving him for Merik, my one true love!' she said, sighing at the thought of Merik. 'Stupid sexy Merik.' Said Grampa under his breath. 'What was that?' asked Tea. 'Nothing!' he said quickly. 'Yugi is in his room, you can go up now.' She walked up the stairs and entered Yugi's room. 'Baby, I have to tell you something?' she said, running into his arms. 'Huh?' he said, star struck. 'I need to tell you I am sorry and goodbye. I am leaving with Merik. I love him. I cannot be with you anymore. Goodbye!' she said, kissing him one last time. He opened his eyes wide when she finally broke away. 'Er, please say something.' She said. 'Wow...' He said, after a long time of staring at her. 'Err, Yami Baby?' she asked. He shook his head. 'Yugi... wow...' he said, staring into space. 'Huh? Oh my god... you are Yugi!' she said. 'Change to Yami, NOW!' she ordered. Yugi did as she said straight away. 'Oh my god, you're leaving me!' said Yami, sitting down on his bed. 'I have never been dumped before.' 'Is that all you are thinking about? Being dumped?' she asked, outraged. 'Well, I haven't been dumped before, and I am finding it quite interesting. Please, continue.' He said. 'What? That's it, I am outta here! Oh and here is the invitation to my going away party. Oh, and be nice to Merik!' she said, handing him the invitation. 'Merik will be there? Why?' he asked. 'He is my one true love, of course! Be nice to him too!' she said, walking out of the room. 'Stupid sext Merik!' said Yami. 'What was that?' said Tea, sticking her head back in the room. 'Oh, nothing.' He said. She walked out.
Chapter Five:
'Darling, would you like me to get you a drink?' asked Tristan, looking over Serenity's shoulder. 'No! And stop calling me darling! You know I don't like that!' she said, looking away. 'Sorry hunny.' He said. She looked at him with an evil look. 'Well, weren't you supposed to be getting my drink! Hurry up!' she said. He rushed off without another word. 'So, how are you and Tristan going?' asked Joey, coming over to talk to her. 'Oh, good, good!' she replied, smiling. 'That's my little sis! Will you hurry up and make me an uncle?' he asked. 'Sure, when the time is right! Just a few more months.' she said. Joey rubbed her now very big stomach. He walked away, and Serenity watched him walk into the bathroom. Tristan returned with her drink. 'Here you are, dearest.' He said, handing her a glass. 'I don't like orange juice, stupid!' she yelled, tipping the drink over his head. 'But that wasn't orange juice.' He said, wiping it out of his eyes. 'I don't care! Clean yourself up before Tea comes, we don't want to make the wrong impression. And get me another drink!' she called to him as he walked to the bathroom. He walked into the bathroom and saw Joey washing his hands. 'Hey, what happened to you?' asked Joey. 'Serenity spilt her drink on me again.' He replied. 'I didn't know girls got clumsy when they got pregnant.' Said Joey thoughtfully. 'They don't. Just very angry and emotional!' said Tristan, washing the drink out of his hair. 'Hey, I heard that Tea was trying to get pregnant too!' said Joey. 'What? With who?' asked Tristan. 'Anybody she can lay her hands on! Mokuba, Seto, hell, even Yugi!' he replied, drying his hands. 'Yugi? But he is only sixteen! But wait, that Mokuba kid is even younger isn't he? Wow, and I never thought she would go for Kaiba, he is a bit loopy isn't he? All because Yugi wouldn't duel him.' Said Tristan. 'Yeah, well I heard Tea wanted to do it with Kaiba on his new desk!' said Joey. 'What? Where did you hear that?' asked Tristan. 'Kaiba told me. Well, I guess its better her doing it with him than Yugi!' said Joey. They both laughed and walked out of the bathroom. 'Serenity dear! I have something you would wanna hear!' said Tristan, coming up to her. 'What? Hurry up and spit it out!' she said, still holding the empty glass. 'Tea...' The rumour spread quickly. Serenity told Mokuba, Mokuba told Kaiba, and Kaiba told Yugi. But Joey on the other hand told everyone else at the party. 'Oh my god! I can't believe Tea might be pregnant with me!' said Yami. 'Yeah, or me!' said Kaiba. 'Wait, I don't remember ever doing it with her on my new desk! Oh well, rumours are never wrong. I might have gotten drunk.' 'Yeah, whatever.' Said Yami. At that moment, Tea walked in with Merik. 'Stupid sexy Merik.' The whole room whispered together. 'What?' asked Merik. 'Nothing!' they all said together, and went on talking about Tea.
'Hi Serenity! How are you? Hows the pregnancy?' asked Tea. 'Oh everything is just fine!' she replied. 'Oh, I just can't wait to go with Merik on vacation!' said Tea excitedly. Serenity frowned. 'Stupid sexy Merik!' she mumbled. 'What?' asked Tea. 'Good for you!' she replied. 'I need to go over there now, because, um, err, Tristan is over there!' she said, and walked away. 'Why can't you be sexy?' she asked Tristan when he reached him. 'I thought I was, how else would I get you pregnant?' he asked, looking worried. 'No one else would go out with me after the eye operation went wrong. You were the only one left who still liked me. And now that I have you, you can never get away because I own you forever because I am carrying your child! You can never get away!' she added an evil laugh and walked away.
'I would like to make a toast to Tea.' Said Yugi, standing up, holding his glass. The other night, Tea kissed me. It was the best night of my life! I love you Tea! In a non-sexual way of course!' he said reassuringly. He changed to Yami. 'I would also like to say a few words. Tea, those lunchbreaks on Kaiba's desk were the best ten minutes of my life. You really made those five months special. Good luck.' He said. 'Tea, whatever you do, don't stay with the father, he is always the most annoying person! And don't eat chocolate bars, they make you fatter than you should be, being pregnant and all. Good luck with the baby!' said Serenity. The crowd clapped politely. 'Merik, pray that your girl doesn't turn out like mine. A nightmare.' Said Tristan. 'Tea, I pray for you.' 'Everyone, I know about these rumours about me and Tea on my new desk. They are true. And she is most likely pregnant with my baby, as I got drunk every single night after she told me she was leaving, and every single night I got drunk, we did it.' Said Kaiba. The crowd stared at him. 'Possible baby names. If it is a boy, Seto Junior, and if it is a girl, Setoina!' he declared. 'I want you to send me pictures all the time, and I want the right to visit my child!' 'Uh, Mr. Kaiba? I am not pregnant, and if I were, it wouldn't be with you!' she said, standing up. 'What? But what about the nights on my desk?' he asked. Everyone turned to face Tea. 'There weren't any nights like that! And if there was, they weren't with me!' she said. Now everyone turned to face Kaiba. 'Well, everyone is telling me I did it with you! I personally don't remember, but rumours are never wrong.' Said Kaiba, taking a sip of his wine. The crowd turns to face Tea. 'Yes they are! They are pretty much always wrong! And there is something wrong with you too, Kaiba!' she said. The crowd faced Kaiba. 'Hey! I am not the one sleeping around on peoples desks!' he replied. Some body guards came up and dragged him off the stage. 'I'll be back!' he yelled in a drunk voice. 'My brother is a very lonely man, that is why he drinks and lets me take my credit cards! That reminds me of a story! He had a girlfriend once. I remember it like it was last week. Wait, it was last week! Well, she was a pretty one too...' The whole crowd was getting weary and scared of his stories about Kaiba. 'Oh yeah... and there was that time he was so upset when his cat ran away! He cried for a week! That reminds me of a story! He once had a girlfriend... and pretty one too!' Some guards came up and took him away also. 'I'll be back as well!' he yelled to the crowd.
Tea and Merik hopped on Merik's motorbike. Merik revved up the engine, and started down the road with Tea, her arms around his waist. Kaiba came running out. 'NOOO!!! MUMMY! NOOO!!!' he yelled, as he threw his wine bottle towards them. The bottle hit Merik in the side of the head and they veered off the road into a ditch where the motorbike exploded into a million pieces. Everybody just stood there staring. 'Oh my god.' Said Mokuba. 'There was wine left in that bottle! Kaiba!' Everyone just started at him. Everything was silent. cricket sound. They all start walking inside leaving Kaiba on the side of the road. He got out his last Egyptian God Card and looked at it. 'My last Egyptian God Card. This one will kill me before!' He started to cut himself. 'Damn these paper cuts! Wait, calm down Seto! Don't do what you did to your other two Egyptian God Cards! Worthless pieces of CRAP!!!!!!' he ripped it up. 'NOO!!! MUMMY!!! NOOOO!!!!' and he sat on the side of the road, crying.
The End.
Note: Kaiba is not really like this. He is so much more better... but in this he is funny! We have also researched into the cruelty to YuGiOh! cards and found that it is perfectly legal to rip up cards in a non fiction story, although many complaints have been sent in.