DISCLAIMER: I do not own Jack, I don't own the rum (more's the pity), Gypsy owns Lyn, and my brother owns Tom. Any questions?
A/N (3/6/04): More funness! I've been away most of today, at a Mu Alpha Theta competition. Then I spent a good deal of time working on my homework my room. But now I'm back, an' I'm comin' up with th' next chapter. Oh, and by the way, this is not, and I repeat not, a romance. Lyn does have a crush on Jack, but I've already tried my hand at a Jack Sparrow romance and failed, so I'm not going to try with this. This story is a crazy adventure story, and since Lyn isn't going to stay on the Pearl, I can't have Jack falling in love with her, now can I?
We left off at the point where Lyn had fallen asleep on Jack's lap. At first Jack was afraid to move her, fearing that she would wake up. But when she began to snore, Jack gently lifted her head off his lap and laid it down on a convenient sack. She stirred but didn't wake up. The fact is, she probably wouldn't have woken even if the dinghy sank into the water; after all, the water was nice and warm.
Later, when the arrived at Tortuga, Lyn still hadn't woken up. She didn't wake when Jack shook her, nor even when Tom began to sing. Jack was obliged to carry her into the town. Only after he poured cold water on her head did she wake up. "Hey! Stop it! Go away!"
"I'd love to, darling," Jack replied, "but I'm afraid I can't."
"I was having the loveliest dream," she continued, as she blinked at Jack a few times. Suddenly she became almost fully awake, and realized who he was and what he'd said. "Oh, right. The only rules that really matter, eh?"
"What are you talking about?"
"The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do, and what a man can't do."
"I'm not even going to ask you how you know about that." Ah, yes, dear Jack is very wise. He knew better than to ask a question to which he didn't really want to know the answer.
"Well, well, well, look what we 'ave 'ere. Captain Jack Sparrow."
"Already lost the Pearl, Jack?" another voice chimed in. "Ye didn't keep 'er very long, did ye?"
"We're surrounded," Tom observed.
"Yes, I can see that," Lyn said irritably. "Time to split," she muttered to herself. "Jack! What is the moral?"
For a moment Jack looked confused. Then comprehension dawned. "Oh! That bloody poem," he mouthed. Lyn nodded.
While Jack was engaging the pirates in conversation, Lyn took out a set of vampire teeth, her dagger, and the pepper-spray. Can't forget the pepper-spray. She inspected the vampire teeth, decided they were reasonably clean—nothing a bit of rum couldn't take care of—and put them in her mouth. Then she turned to the pirates and said, "The evil vampires of doom are upon you!" When they began to laugh, she hissed. Freakishly, Gypsy, who was in her arms, hissed at the exact say moment.
"Gentlemen," Jack said, "I would advise you to leave. These children are dangerous."
"And watch the wall, my darling, while the Gentlemen go by," Lyn quoted.
"And entirely unpredictable," Jack added.
Lyn smiled. "I fear no man, nor beast, nor phantom in the night. I am the Killer, and I come from the darkness of the starless night to cast down evil and prepare for the coming of the sun. Fear me, for I am the bringer of the red dawn!"
"Thought that was Stormwind," Jack muttered.
The pirates didn't move. Lyn sprayed pepper-spray in their faces. Well, she thought, the dawn will look red to them.
While the pirates were recovering from the shock, amidst much cursing, Lyn, Tom, and Jack bolted in three different directions. Naturally the pirates gave chase—meaning they all ran towards Lyn, clamoring for her blood. They were none too happy about the pepper-spray.
Idiots. Lyn let them catch up, turned around, and sprayed them all again. Then she took off.
There was a reason she was called Lightning, besides the fact that she was unpredictable. That reason soon became apparent as she sped through the town. She was fast.
Gypsy helped. She ran between the pirates' legs, and one of them tripped over her. Several more tripped over that one, and even more over them, and so on, until nearly all of them were down. When they got back up, stupid pirates that they were, they began to fight each other. They didn't even notice when Lyn slipped among them and picked their pockets clean of everything but lint—though there was a good bit of that mixed in among the silver and gold she stole. Then she ran at top speed for the harbor—just in time to watch the Black Pearl sail away.
"Bloody pirates!" Tom growled.
"Not to worry, mate. They'll be back." Lyn adjusted Jack's hat so it rested more firmly on her head.
Thank you all who have reviewed! If you haven't, please do, or I'll send Lyn and Tom after you.
Rema: Will only realizes that Lyn looks like Jack, not that she talks like Jack. Earlier, the pirates realized she talked like Jack because she was actually quoting Jack, and doing her best to use his voice. Jack only notices that she looks like Samantha, who's in one of my other stories that takes place before this one. It's titled "Daughter of a Pirate."
Nosilla: Yes, yes, more is coming. Don't you worry. And now the young adults are stranded in Tortuga. Funness.