DISCLAIMER: I may 'ave a death wish, but bein' 'auled off to prison by them Disney lawyers would be rather inglorious, an' Cari won' be able to get me out fer several years, considerin' she don' e'en exist yet, so I'll say right now that I don' own it, savvy?
A/N (4/17/04): I'm in a bad mood at the moment, so I'm procrastinatin' abou' gettin' me work done. So 'ere I am, typin' up another chapter fer yer enjoyment.
"You said you had the scars to prove it," Katie observed, "but you haven't mentioned any scars."
Lyn tossed her head. "I was gettin' to that, love."
Lyn began to dress as a boy—not too hard, since she looked like a boy to begin with. She made quite a dashing lad (naturally; she looked like a younger version of Jack). The younger strumpets congregated around her even more than they congregated around Tom (who looked like Legolas).
Lyn derived great amusement from flirting with said strumpets. Unfortunately, one of said strumpets had a boyfriend. Said boyfriend didn't appreciate having his girlfriend flirt with another man, so said boyfriend challenged Lyn to a fight.
Lyn drew her sword. "Do you think this wise, boy? Crossing blades with a pirate?"
"You're no pirate!" he spat.
Unfortunately, Lyn won the fight. Unfortunately because now she had even more admirers. Unfortunately because now she had a reputation, and young upstarts had to challenge her to a fight to prove their manliness. Unfortunately because said young upstarts didn't take well to being beaten.
One such young upstart, enraged at being beaten, decided to eliminate Lyn. He attacked Lyn with a knife. Lyn tried to fend off the knife with her hand. Bad idea. The young upstart backed off to gloat a bit, since he knew he'd won and could kill her at his leisure. After all, her sword-hand was crippled. Unfortunately for him, Lyn had often switched to fighting with her left hand during her fencing lessons (much to Will's dismay). This was not uncommon for her; she'd taught herself to write left-handed because she kept spraining her fingers, and could even play tennis with her left hand.
She managed to draw her sword left-handed and thrust it through his belly. His eyes rolled back into his head and he slid off the sword.
"No one messes with Lightning," Lyn announced to the noisy tavern.
Lyn's hand healed, but she was left with a scar. Her first scar.
Her second scar was on her forehead. That one was embarrassing. She'd drunk two glasses of rum (she'd tried the water, but had thrown up), and was slightly tipsy. As she got up, she tripped over her own feet and slammed her forehead against one of the benches. A doctor had to come and sew the skin back together. The doctor gave her some wine to drink. She spat it back out. The doctor then gave her some rum, which she drank. "Pour the wine o'er me 'ead," she commanded. "So's I don' get sick." The doctor complied, though he had no idea what she was talking about. Lyn screamed like a girl when the alcohol washed over her wound, then blacked out. She got sick anyways.
While she was sick, the champion tavern brawler showed up and challenged her to a fight. In the middle of the fight, while their swords were locked, Lyn kicked him in the groin.
"You cheated!" he accused.
It was a sign of how ill she was that she didn't automatically respond, "Pirate." She didn't even respond with that word after careful deliberation. Instead, she said, "Now that's a harsh accusation. I prefer to think that fate needs a bit o' guidance sometimes."
"Excellent!" crowed one of the onlookers. "Son, ye remind me o' Jonny."
"Johnny? Johnny Depp?"
"Who's Johnny Depp?"
"Ugly guy from the future. Looks kinda like Jack Sparrow—Captain Jack Sparrow, I mean."
"Riiight."
"So which Johnny do I remind you of? Or is it Jonny?"
"Riiight. Jonny Kingsley is 'oo I meant. Captain Jon Kingsley, excuse me."
"But—that's one o' the things that makes Jack Spa—Captain Jack Sparrow special."
The man smiled and shook his head.
When Lyn got better, she resumed her excursions of thievery. On her first expidition, she got shot in the leg. Bleeding profusely, and cursing like a sailor, she limped to the doctor. Once again the doctor had both wine and rum ready, but this time he gave her the rum first, then poured the wine on the wound. He bandaged the wound and gave Lyn a makeshift crutch.
Lyn limped back to the tavern. She found Tom being pushed around by a couple of older boys. "C'mon, fight like a man!" one said.
"He's not a man. He's a eunuch," sneered another.
Lyn hit them both with her crutch. She was the only one allowed to call Tom a eunuch. "Nobody makes fun o' me brother," she said in a frightening voice. "Nobody that don' want to become a eunuch hisself, that is." She smiled. The boys fled.
Lyn's next excursion was into the seedier parts of town. She was stopped by a pirate captain who recognized her as a girl because he'd seen her before. "Don't resist now, darling, an' it'll be easier on both o' us."
Lyn punched him.
He began to get rough. "Darling, ye should know better'n to hit Cap'n Corvil."
"Captain? Of what ship?"
"The Inferno."
Lyn tried to draw her dagger and ended up pulling the sheath off her belt. Undaunted, she used it to rap Cap'n Corvil's head. He fell to the ground, unconscious.
Lyn went back to the tavern and took a burning log from the fire. She managed to burn her fingers in the process. Next she went to the harbor, rowed out to the Inferno, and threw the burning log onto the ship.
The next day, when she heard about the ship which had burned down, she asked which ship it was. The Inferno, she was told. She shrugged. "Musta been bad luck to name the ship Inferno."
"Aye. Cap'n Corvil shoulda learnt from the Red Sun. Allus storms around that ship."
"On'y in da mornin'," someone else said. "Da cap'n ain' much o' a mornin' person."
"You burned it down, didn't you?" Tom asked once they were in their room.
"Aye."
"Why don't we burn it all down?"
"What?"
"I hate this place. Why don't we burn down the whole bloody port o' Tortuga?"
"Sure," Lyn said. "Let's burn up the whole blazin' town. 'We burn up the city, we're really a fright,' eh?"
"Drink up, me hearties, yo ho!"
"So you burned Tortuga to the ground?" Lisa asked.
"No' quite," Lyn admitted, "but we came close. Several buildings burned down."
"Made a nice picture," Tom commented.
Thank ye to all me lovely reviewers!
Amy: Glad ye liked the barney song. I jes' couldn' resist addin' that. As fer Lyn endin' up wi' Jack's hat, well, she's a thief, an' she needs some way to get Jack to come back. I think I'll have 'er cat steal the hat next.
Eccentric Banshee: It is me brother an' meself, savvy? Yer comment abou' gettin' high on a pixie stick is confusin' but funny. Yer whole review is confusin' but funny.
Fireblade K'Chona: Thank ye fer yer nitpicky French-student comment. I changed it jes' fer ye.
DuelingDestiny: Oh, I love mayhem, too. That's why there's so much o' it.
ElfIcarii: I continued Daughter of a Pirate. After about three months, I know, but I finally got around to it.
Olivia: Why thank ye. An' why should I put seagulls in it?