"Bomb disposal?" Raiden asked, "Oh, is that where you take your trash outside and beat it with a dead cat?" "What...the...hell are you talking about?" Pliskin asked him. "Hello" the old man said, "Doesn't anybody care about the bombs?" Pliskin pointed his gun at him and shouted, "We'll get to that, but first, I have to know what the hell Raiden is talking about." "Maybe we should take care of the bombs" Raiden stated, now fearing for his life. "Ok...Anyway, this guy here is THE bomb disposal expert" Pliskin repeated. "Peter Stillman, nice to see they sent some retarded psychos on this mission." "So what do we do now then?" Raiden inquired.
"We're going to have to disarm those C4's" Stillman told them. "But I've never disarmed a bomb before" Raiden shouted. "Wuss" murmured Pliskin. Raiden pointed his gun and began to shout, "You take that back or I'll..." but noticed the node in the mirror's reflection and put the gun down. "Anyway, the man who is behind all of these bombs is Fatman" Stillman said aloud. "So how do we remove the bombs" Raiden questioned. "We don't, we freeze them. Here both of you take these" Stillman said as he handed them two coolant containers. "How do these work?" Raiden asked as he looked at the nozzle. He, unfortunately, grabbed the nozzle and the coolant froze his face. He tried to talk, but the only sound that came out were mumbles. Pliskin punched Raiden in the face and broke the ice, but also knocked Raiden unconscious.
Raiden woke up on the floor, feeling light-headed. "If it's not the node, it's something else" he murmured. He picked himself up off the floor, seeing Pliskin and Stillman were, waiting for him. "Ok" Stillman began, "You will need these Ion Mobility Spectrometer to find the C4's." He handed them to the two and turned his on, "There's one here." "I don't see anything" Raiden told him. "The C4's location is represented by the big mass of gas on your radar."
"Oh" Raiden responded, "Well, actually...that was me." "God damn you're an idiot!" Pliskin shouted. "Now if I know Fatman" Stillman said, "He would have followed everything he's learned like his religion, Fatmanism." "What's that about" Raiden inquired. "Here's a pamphlet" Stillman stated as he handed him one from his jacket. Raiden took the pamphlet, opened it, and stated, "Huh, no creator gods, no work, no friends, no life, just food and bombs, sounds interesting." "Now don't forget to log in or else the sensor won't work" Stillman told them. "Ummm...I have had a couple of bad experiences with log in nodes" Raiden confessed. "Worry about that later" Pliskin retorted, "We need to get these bombs." "Ok." "I got Strut 2," Pliskin shouted as he ran out the door, "You have one." "That man" Stillman stated, "He is not a SEAL." "He isn't" Raiden sounded shocked, "But I probably should have suspected that when I noticed he didn't have fins." "Not that kind of a seal...just get the C4's."
Raiden ran out of the room. 'Time to try this thing out' he thought. He activated his sensor and instantly an emission popped up. "Ok" he said aloud, "To my right." He walked to the room and calmly stepped inside, only to run out a few seconds later screaming as women attacked him. "But your in danger" he shouted. Fifteen minutes later, he returned to the restroom to try again, this time dressed as a woman. He slowly walked in, expecting the worst, but was not harmed. "I don't think I've seen you before" one woman stated, "What's your name?" Raiden thought as hard as he could, "Raidena." Luckily, he didn't need to mask his voice as he already sounded like a woman. "OK, want to join us talking about boys and doing our make- up." "It's my dream come true." Raidena shouted.
An hour later, Raiden had more make-up on than most celebrates as they talked about guys. "Um...ya...That Fatman guy is like...so totally hot." "EWWWW, it's like...all about that Pliskin guy." They all sighed together and whispered, "Pliskin." Raiden then received a call from Pliskin. "Raiden, how are the C4's coming? I got two." "Oh...My...God...Is that him, Raidena?" one woman shouted. Suddenly, many women were shouting things such as, "We love you" or "Marry me." Then Raiden shouted out, "He's mine, back off." Pliskin was silent before saying, "Raiden, remind me to shoot you." "Ok." Raiden stated as he sighed. "Now take out the C4." Pliskin shouted as the communication ended. Raiden got up, walked to the mirror and said, "I gotta look good for when I see him." He looked up and noticed a C4 on the ceiling. Returning into his somewhat masculine form, he froze the detonator on the C4. "Wait a minute, you can't be a woman" one girl declared. "No woman would take out a C4," another shouted. "You knew that was there?" Raiden asked. "Well sure, you would have to be blind not to see it, we were just hoping someone like Pliskin would take care of it." "Kill this guy" a fourth girl screamed. Raiden tried to make it out of the restroom, but was dragged back in and beaten within an inch of his life.
He eventually made it to Strut E, taking care of 5 out of 6 bombs. "Ahh, that was crazy." He silently moved over to the log in node thinking, 'Ok, I've been electrocuted 8 times, it wont happen again." He placed his hands on the keys and began to type in the necessary information. As he finished typing, the download began. But, this download was much slower than the rest. He looked around until he saw a message that read, "This is a 28K log in node." "Damn" he shouted. Three hours later, the download completed, and he began to walk up the staircase. 'Finally, something that didn't end with electrocution.' He reached the top of the stairs, but the door would not open for him. He began typing on the keys, when the door announced, "Access denied." He was electrocuted and the door opened as he fell to the floor. His head landed in the doorway as the door closed, hitting his head. The door kept opening and closing, repeating the process of hitting his head.
He awoke with a slight concussion. He staggered off of the ground as the door hit him again. This time however, he landed outside of the doorway and was now outside. He once again staggered off of the floor and hides behind a wall when he sees a woman speaking into a transmitter. "Yes I saw a ninja...No, I am not high, stoned, or any combination of the two...but I am drunk. But that does not affect me in any way" she shouted as she swayed from left to right, trying to keep her balance. "Freeze" Raiden shouts as he points his gun towards her. She begins to laugh uncontrollably, even after she falls over the guardrail. Raiden looks over to se what had happened, but saw no trace of her.
Suddenly, Raiden received another call on his Codec. He answered, "This is Raiden." "Hey Jack" Rosemary responded, "Do you remember when we first met." Raiden shakes his head, as he shouts, "Now is not the time for this." "Remember, you saw other guys flirting with me." "And so I tried to impress you by fighting those guys. Had I known they were ex-convicts, I probably would not have fought them, because I get shot so many times." Raiden continued, now more interested in the topic. "Yep" Rosemary retorted, "So I took you to the hospital, and that was our first date." "Yea, I don't know though, this mission is kinda fun, besides the slowly being killed by everything here part. I may not come back." "Yea you're right, Pliskin is way better" Rose lied. "WHAT" shouted Raiden. "Yea, you know what, you stay there, Pliskin can come back and be with me." "That's it, when I get back" Raiden started, "I'm gonna make you forget him the only way I can; by beating you senseless until you can't remember him." "What!" Rose shouted, but it was too late, the communication ended. "Don't you know that reverse psychology doesn't work on him" Boss asked. "I better get ready to sue" Rose said aloud.
Pliskin's transmitter began to ring. He was hesitant, but slowly answered; "This is Pliskin, what's up." "What's up?" Raiden looked up. "Nothing, except sky." "You imbecile, that's an expression. Like saying you're a player doesn't mean you've been playing Dungeons and Dragons for 50 hours," Pliskin shouted. "That's not what it means," Raiden told him. "It's not," Pliskin sounded pissed, "Well that explains why everyone keeps laughing at me." "Anyway, I saw a Russian female, any ideas on who she is." "Hmmm," Pliskin thought for a moment, "It's probably Olga. Was she complaining because people though she was stoned?" "Yea" Raiden answered. "Yea, that's her." Pliskin told him. "How do you know her?" Raiden asked. Pliskin quickly spurt out, "I took pictures of her naked on a tanker two years ago." "You what...wait your..." Raiden began. Suddenly, a cinder block flew out of nowhere and hit Raiden in the head, making him forget most of the conversation." "So her name is Olga, huh," Raiden said, "Ok, I'm going to take care of the last bomb, Raiden out."
Raiden ran up the stairs as fast as he could, but tripped when he reached the top stair and fell with a loud thud. This alerted a near-by guard and he decided to look into it. "Is somebody there," the guard shouted, while firing blindly into the air. Raiden ran behind a steel crater to hide as the guard walked into the opening. "Damn," the guard shouted, "I gotta stop shouting that." Raiden watched on as the guard began to walk back to his post, firing in the air as he walked back. Raiden quietly moved from behind the crate and shouted, "Freeze!" The guard turned around and shouted, "OH MY GOD, IT'S A MALE STRIPPER!" "What?" Raiden started, "But I'm not a..." "AAAAHHHHHHH," the guard screamed as he launched a barrage of bullets at him. Raiden barely had any time to hide, as the bullets flew right at him. Though hit by a couple bullets, he managed to return to the safety of behind the box. 'Damn' Raiden thought, 'What would Pliskin do?"
Raiden then imagined Pliskin was in his place. Pliskin suddenly transformed, turning him into Zeus, god of lightning. He then created lightning bolts in his hands and quickly threw them at the guard, destroying him on contact. 'That seems like a good plan," Raiden concluded; partly because he was out of ideas, and partly because of major blood loss. Raiden conjured up the storms and threw a lightning bolt at the guard, or so he thought. In reality, Raiden jumped in the air and threw a stapler at him. Though the stapler was empty, it hit the guard right between the eyes. "OW!" The guard shouted, "That hurts." Back in Raiden's world, Raiden saw the guard rip out of his skin to become a coma-inducing monster. Raiden screamed for mercy, when a figure appeared before him. "Who are you?" "Call me DeepThroat." "But," Raiden began, "DeepThroat is dead, and your voice doesn't sound so deep." DeepThroat kicked Raiden in the balls before shouting, "Fine! Mr.X then." Raiden whimpered as he spoke, "So what do you want?" "I'm here to help you." Mr.X handed him a snail. "Use the snail," Mr.X commanded. "Ok," Raiden said aloud. He picked up and threw Mr.X, but his entire view turned white. Raiden woke up on the ground an hour later. He looked up to see that the guard was no where to be seen. 'That was weird, was it real?' He got up off the ground and walked to the harrier. "BASTARD!" The phantom Mr.X shouted, but Raiden did not hear it.
Raiden had just finished freezing the last C4 when he received a call. "How are you doing, Stillman?" "I'm ok, but so far this just doesn't add up." "What doesn't?" Raiden asked. "These bomb locations, and the fact that I can't save money on my car insurance. I mean, I only ran into the guy once and got a D.U.I. And that only caused a, what, 200 car pile up, with oh I don't know, over 1100 people being killed." Raiden was afraid, and decided to change the subject, "But what about Pliskin?" "Don't worry, he still has one left, but hurry back. I have something for you." Raiden sprinted back to the C strut, making sure to avoid the women's bathroom, and ran into the room Stillman was in. "Here," Stillman handed him another sensor, "I found out that there are more C4's, and their scentless. So you will need this to find them." Instantly, Pliskin called, "I found the last C4, I'm taking it out." "No don't!" Stillman shouted, but it was too late.
"We're going to have to disarm those C4's" Stillman told them. "But I've never disarmed a bomb before" Raiden shouted. "Wuss" murmured Pliskin. Raiden pointed his gun and began to shout, "You take that back or I'll..." but noticed the node in the mirror's reflection and put the gun down. "Anyway, the man who is behind all of these bombs is Fatman" Stillman said aloud. "So how do we remove the bombs" Raiden questioned. "We don't, we freeze them. Here both of you take these" Stillman said as he handed them two coolant containers. "How do these work?" Raiden asked as he looked at the nozzle. He, unfortunately, grabbed the nozzle and the coolant froze his face. He tried to talk, but the only sound that came out were mumbles. Pliskin punched Raiden in the face and broke the ice, but also knocked Raiden unconscious.
Raiden woke up on the floor, feeling light-headed. "If it's not the node, it's something else" he murmured. He picked himself up off the floor, seeing Pliskin and Stillman were, waiting for him. "Ok" Stillman began, "You will need these Ion Mobility Spectrometer to find the C4's." He handed them to the two and turned his on, "There's one here." "I don't see anything" Raiden told him. "The C4's location is represented by the big mass of gas on your radar."
"Oh" Raiden responded, "Well, actually...that was me." "God damn you're an idiot!" Pliskin shouted. "Now if I know Fatman" Stillman said, "He would have followed everything he's learned like his religion, Fatmanism." "What's that about" Raiden inquired. "Here's a pamphlet" Stillman stated as he handed him one from his jacket. Raiden took the pamphlet, opened it, and stated, "Huh, no creator gods, no work, no friends, no life, just food and bombs, sounds interesting." "Now don't forget to log in or else the sensor won't work" Stillman told them. "Ummm...I have had a couple of bad experiences with log in nodes" Raiden confessed. "Worry about that later" Pliskin retorted, "We need to get these bombs." "Ok." "I got Strut 2," Pliskin shouted as he ran out the door, "You have one." "That man" Stillman stated, "He is not a SEAL." "He isn't" Raiden sounded shocked, "But I probably should have suspected that when I noticed he didn't have fins." "Not that kind of a seal...just get the C4's."
Raiden ran out of the room. 'Time to try this thing out' he thought. He activated his sensor and instantly an emission popped up. "Ok" he said aloud, "To my right." He walked to the room and calmly stepped inside, only to run out a few seconds later screaming as women attacked him. "But your in danger" he shouted. Fifteen minutes later, he returned to the restroom to try again, this time dressed as a woman. He slowly walked in, expecting the worst, but was not harmed. "I don't think I've seen you before" one woman stated, "What's your name?" Raiden thought as hard as he could, "Raidena." Luckily, he didn't need to mask his voice as he already sounded like a woman. "OK, want to join us talking about boys and doing our make- up." "It's my dream come true." Raidena shouted.
An hour later, Raiden had more make-up on than most celebrates as they talked about guys. "Um...ya...That Fatman guy is like...so totally hot." "EWWWW, it's like...all about that Pliskin guy." They all sighed together and whispered, "Pliskin." Raiden then received a call from Pliskin. "Raiden, how are the C4's coming? I got two." "Oh...My...God...Is that him, Raidena?" one woman shouted. Suddenly, many women were shouting things such as, "We love you" or "Marry me." Then Raiden shouted out, "He's mine, back off." Pliskin was silent before saying, "Raiden, remind me to shoot you." "Ok." Raiden stated as he sighed. "Now take out the C4." Pliskin shouted as the communication ended. Raiden got up, walked to the mirror and said, "I gotta look good for when I see him." He looked up and noticed a C4 on the ceiling. Returning into his somewhat masculine form, he froze the detonator on the C4. "Wait a minute, you can't be a woman" one girl declared. "No woman would take out a C4," another shouted. "You knew that was there?" Raiden asked. "Well sure, you would have to be blind not to see it, we were just hoping someone like Pliskin would take care of it." "Kill this guy" a fourth girl screamed. Raiden tried to make it out of the restroom, but was dragged back in and beaten within an inch of his life.
He eventually made it to Strut E, taking care of 5 out of 6 bombs. "Ahh, that was crazy." He silently moved over to the log in node thinking, 'Ok, I've been electrocuted 8 times, it wont happen again." He placed his hands on the keys and began to type in the necessary information. As he finished typing, the download began. But, this download was much slower than the rest. He looked around until he saw a message that read, "This is a 28K log in node." "Damn" he shouted. Three hours later, the download completed, and he began to walk up the staircase. 'Finally, something that didn't end with electrocution.' He reached the top of the stairs, but the door would not open for him. He began typing on the keys, when the door announced, "Access denied." He was electrocuted and the door opened as he fell to the floor. His head landed in the doorway as the door closed, hitting his head. The door kept opening and closing, repeating the process of hitting his head.
He awoke with a slight concussion. He staggered off of the ground as the door hit him again. This time however, he landed outside of the doorway and was now outside. He once again staggered off of the floor and hides behind a wall when he sees a woman speaking into a transmitter. "Yes I saw a ninja...No, I am not high, stoned, or any combination of the two...but I am drunk. But that does not affect me in any way" she shouted as she swayed from left to right, trying to keep her balance. "Freeze" Raiden shouts as he points his gun towards her. She begins to laugh uncontrollably, even after she falls over the guardrail. Raiden looks over to se what had happened, but saw no trace of her.
Suddenly, Raiden received another call on his Codec. He answered, "This is Raiden." "Hey Jack" Rosemary responded, "Do you remember when we first met." Raiden shakes his head, as he shouts, "Now is not the time for this." "Remember, you saw other guys flirting with me." "And so I tried to impress you by fighting those guys. Had I known they were ex-convicts, I probably would not have fought them, because I get shot so many times." Raiden continued, now more interested in the topic. "Yep" Rosemary retorted, "So I took you to the hospital, and that was our first date." "Yea, I don't know though, this mission is kinda fun, besides the slowly being killed by everything here part. I may not come back." "Yea you're right, Pliskin is way better" Rose lied. "WHAT" shouted Raiden. "Yea, you know what, you stay there, Pliskin can come back and be with me." "That's it, when I get back" Raiden started, "I'm gonna make you forget him the only way I can; by beating you senseless until you can't remember him." "What!" Rose shouted, but it was too late, the communication ended. "Don't you know that reverse psychology doesn't work on him" Boss asked. "I better get ready to sue" Rose said aloud.
Pliskin's transmitter began to ring. He was hesitant, but slowly answered; "This is Pliskin, what's up." "What's up?" Raiden looked up. "Nothing, except sky." "You imbecile, that's an expression. Like saying you're a player doesn't mean you've been playing Dungeons and Dragons for 50 hours," Pliskin shouted. "That's not what it means," Raiden told him. "It's not," Pliskin sounded pissed, "Well that explains why everyone keeps laughing at me." "Anyway, I saw a Russian female, any ideas on who she is." "Hmmm," Pliskin thought for a moment, "It's probably Olga. Was she complaining because people though she was stoned?" "Yea" Raiden answered. "Yea, that's her." Pliskin told him. "How do you know her?" Raiden asked. Pliskin quickly spurt out, "I took pictures of her naked on a tanker two years ago." "You what...wait your..." Raiden began. Suddenly, a cinder block flew out of nowhere and hit Raiden in the head, making him forget most of the conversation." "So her name is Olga, huh," Raiden said, "Ok, I'm going to take care of the last bomb, Raiden out."
Raiden ran up the stairs as fast as he could, but tripped when he reached the top stair and fell with a loud thud. This alerted a near-by guard and he decided to look into it. "Is somebody there," the guard shouted, while firing blindly into the air. Raiden ran behind a steel crater to hide as the guard walked into the opening. "Damn," the guard shouted, "I gotta stop shouting that." Raiden watched on as the guard began to walk back to his post, firing in the air as he walked back. Raiden quietly moved from behind the crate and shouted, "Freeze!" The guard turned around and shouted, "OH MY GOD, IT'S A MALE STRIPPER!" "What?" Raiden started, "But I'm not a..." "AAAAHHHHHHH," the guard screamed as he launched a barrage of bullets at him. Raiden barely had any time to hide, as the bullets flew right at him. Though hit by a couple bullets, he managed to return to the safety of behind the box. 'Damn' Raiden thought, 'What would Pliskin do?"
Raiden then imagined Pliskin was in his place. Pliskin suddenly transformed, turning him into Zeus, god of lightning. He then created lightning bolts in his hands and quickly threw them at the guard, destroying him on contact. 'That seems like a good plan," Raiden concluded; partly because he was out of ideas, and partly because of major blood loss. Raiden conjured up the storms and threw a lightning bolt at the guard, or so he thought. In reality, Raiden jumped in the air and threw a stapler at him. Though the stapler was empty, it hit the guard right between the eyes. "OW!" The guard shouted, "That hurts." Back in Raiden's world, Raiden saw the guard rip out of his skin to become a coma-inducing monster. Raiden screamed for mercy, when a figure appeared before him. "Who are you?" "Call me DeepThroat." "But," Raiden began, "DeepThroat is dead, and your voice doesn't sound so deep." DeepThroat kicked Raiden in the balls before shouting, "Fine! Mr.X then." Raiden whimpered as he spoke, "So what do you want?" "I'm here to help you." Mr.X handed him a snail. "Use the snail," Mr.X commanded. "Ok," Raiden said aloud. He picked up and threw Mr.X, but his entire view turned white. Raiden woke up on the ground an hour later. He looked up to see that the guard was no where to be seen. 'That was weird, was it real?' He got up off the ground and walked to the harrier. "BASTARD!" The phantom Mr.X shouted, but Raiden did not hear it.
Raiden had just finished freezing the last C4 when he received a call. "How are you doing, Stillman?" "I'm ok, but so far this just doesn't add up." "What doesn't?" Raiden asked. "These bomb locations, and the fact that I can't save money on my car insurance. I mean, I only ran into the guy once and got a D.U.I. And that only caused a, what, 200 car pile up, with oh I don't know, over 1100 people being killed." Raiden was afraid, and decided to change the subject, "But what about Pliskin?" "Don't worry, he still has one left, but hurry back. I have something for you." Raiden sprinted back to the C strut, making sure to avoid the women's bathroom, and ran into the room Stillman was in. "Here," Stillman handed him another sensor, "I found out that there are more C4's, and their scentless. So you will need this to find them." Instantly, Pliskin called, "I found the last C4, I'm taking it out." "No don't!" Stillman shouted, but it was too late.