A/N: Thanks for the reviews. No fighting or drama here. Just some strange old fun.
"So you're telling us that these lobster things have been nesting here for almost a week and you only tried to extract them now?" Spike angrily demanded as he and Angel confronted Wolfram and Hart's security unit. Angel had given them quite a good scolding and now, Spike felt he needed to give them his version.
"Sir, as we explained to Mr. Angel earlier, we were handling the situation. Unfortunately, one escaped just as we were about to exterminate it." The team leader, Brass, explained unenthusiastically.
The blonde vampire shook his head in disgust as he paced in front of the men. "In other words, you're all a bunch of incompetent Nancy boys. A child was hurt."
"With all due respect, Ms. Kendall is not a child." Brass retorted coolly.
Angel stepped forward, looking sullen. "Harmony has been turned into a child, her state of mind is of a child's and until this curse is reversed, everyone in this building will respectfully treat her as one. Understood?" He venomously hissed.
Brass, not looking all too pleased, nodded. "Yes, sir."
"I say, as punishment, I get to eat all you blithering idiots. Drink you dry until there's nothing left." Spike grinned with delight as he rubbed his hands together. Behind him, Spike could sense Angel's annoyance as the other vampire heaved a sigh. "Now, who do I pick first? Any volunteers?"
None of the men moved but Spike could sense their rising worry on whether this was a bluff or not. Brass, unfazed, spoke up. "Sir, there's a new policy in the firm. You can't kill your employees or coworkers."
"Is that right?" Spike drawled. "I'm sure Angel here will make an exception this one time. What do you say, Peaches?"
Angel shot him an irritated look. "Spike." He warned.
"For old times sake. I'll even give you two of them as a thank you gesture." He grinned just as Fred joined them. "Come on, Gramps."
"Guys, Harmony's awake." She said softly.
Angel nodded. "You're all dismissed." He declared and the men dispersed immediately. "Spike, stop threatening to eat the employees. No matter how menacing you think you are, no one else does."
"Don't get your underwear in a twist, Mahatma." Spike replied with an eye roll. "I was yanking their chain though it would have been nice to get a taste of some fresh blood once in a while. This whole tall, dark and dreary routine is so…well, it suits you but no fun for rest of us. You and your bloody make-the-world-as-depressed-as-I-am policy is getting old. Don't you agree, Fred?"
Fred shrugged, chuckling uncertainly. "We've kept Harmony heavily sedated. The lacerations on her back and arm are already starting to heal. They weren't fatal to begin with anyway. Just bloody." She declared, evading the question.
"She's not in any pain, right?" Angel asked.
Fred shook her head. "We put enough painkillers for a bull."
"Good." Angel murmured as they entered Harmony's room. The tiny little blonde girl was laying face down on the bed, flanked by Wes on the left side and Gunn on the right. Lorne had visited earlier but was called away to a meeting with a client who was threatening to suicide or some act of violence involving a machete if she didn't get an Oscar this year.
"Hey, little vamp." Spike greeted with a small smile.
"How are you feeling?" Angel asked as he stood next to Spike.
She smiled lazily, drowsy from all the sedative that was being pumped into her veins. "I have an owwie but it doesn't hurt because I'm big. I'm big and I'm five." Harmony said, rather proud of herself.
Spike chuckled. "That you are, Harm." He said.
"Can we all play dress-up now?" Harm asked as her eyelids began to droop but stubborn that she was, Harmony fought to stay awake.
"Sweetie, you have to rest." Fred gently said.
Harmony groaned, pouting in displeasure. "But-"
"No buts, baby girl. You have an owwie and although you're a big girl, you need your rest." Gunn stated firmly, the word owwie sounding ridiculous coming from the strong, imposing looking man. Fred sent a smile his way and Wesley nodded.
"We'll play dress-up another time." Angel assured Harmony.
"And everybody will play? And it's going to be a special dress-up, right?"
Angel nodded. "Yes, it's going to be special and we'll all play." He echoed.
Harmony smiled, appeased. "And I can ask Lorney Tunes to help? He said he's really, really good with special stuff."
"Sure, anything. Wes, can I speak to you for a moment?" The other man nodded and walked over to him. Angel and Wesley stepped out of the room just as Harmony finally fell asleep. "Did you find anything?"
"About the curse?"
Angel shook his head. "No, about the demon that attacked us. Do you think Wolfram and Hart let it loose?"
"If you mean after you, then no. I think that it was after Harmony." Wesley replied solemnly.
"Why would they want her?"
"I don't mean that the senior partners intentionally let it loose to kill Harmony. It was merely a twist of fate." Wesley clarified quietly. "This is the curse taking effect. The wheels are turning, Angel, and everything and anything that comes in contact with Harmony has a possibility of killing her, either on purpose or by pure accident. Specifically, eating her alive."
Angel gritted his teeth. "Find a way to break the curse, Wes."
"I'm trying but I don't think there's a way. It's either Harmony gets eaten within the time span she was given or she survives past that and hopefully, reverts back to her former self."
Angel sighed, looking sullen. "Then we're going to make sure she'll last longer than the three weeks."
"I'll ask Gunn to contact the mage as well. Maybe we can ask him to undo his curse."
Three Days Later
"How come I'm Bugs Bunny? This thing itches." Angel groused as he scratched the bright blue costume he was currently forced to wear. "And it's hot in here."
"You don't have a body temperature, remember?" Gunn pointed out.
Angel glared at him. "Shut up, Aladdin. Harmony, how come Gunn gets to be a prince and I'm a bunny?"
"You have big ears. That's why, you poof." Spike drawled with a snicker.
"For the record, Aladdin is only a prince because he married Princess J." Gunn declared. "Okay, I didn't mean to make Aladdin sound like a gold-digger."
Angel huffed and self-consciously touched his bunny ears with his bunny paws. Fred giggled. "Blue looks nice on you, Angel. And you're a cute bunny."
Harmony, decked out with a complete mermaid tail, red hair and mini seashell bra, nodded enthusiastically. "Yup, Angel, you're super pretty and you're Little Princess the Second's boyfriend. You didn't drink your carrot tea. Little Princess drank hers." She pointed out.
Harmony had obviously recovered well from her injuries and was fine now, except she still refused to use the elevator.
"There's no such thing as carrot tea." The vampire mumbled sullenly as he awkwardly picked up his miniature tea cup and took a sip.
Lorne scoffed. "Don't complain, Angel face. I'm Mulan." He said, smoothing his hands over his kimono. "I would have happily been Harry Potter but someone took it!" He shot an acrimonious glare at Wesley who was primly sitting in his spot, looking at his Nimbus 2000.
Dressed in a very accurate Hogwarts uniform, Wesley looked up and shrugged at Lorne. "You wouldn't have been able pull off the accent, Lorne." He replied as he readjusted his new eyeglasses. "Besides, you're the one who ordered the costumes. You should have picked first but you didn't."
"Yes." Angel agreed, continuing to drink his tea. "I blame you too. It was your idea to go over the top with a simple dress-up game. A feather boa, a pink or purple dress and some make up would have done the trick."
At the mention of make-up, Wesley looked horrified. "I am perfectly satisfied being Harry Potter in this game. I wonder if a simple spell could make this broom fly."
Harmony looked at Wes quizically. She still couldn't understand who Harry Potter was although Gunn, who was surprisingly knowledgeable about the topic, had explained it to her.
"You're the one who promised her that we'll all play, Captain Forehead. I say, you're to blame." Spike stated.
"Ooh, wow, guys. The aggression in this room is making me queasy and this Sea Breeze taste bad. Maybe we should have waited until Halloween to do this, my chickadees." Lorne said with a sigh. "I mean, we are a few months ahead. But I have to say, this kimono sure is airy." He declared, picking up his drink.
Fred shook her head. "We don't have that much time, remember?" She gave them a meaningful look. Everyone looked down sheepishly. "Now, it's only a day and Lorne and Harmony-I mean Mulan and Ariel worked hard on this. Let's just play."
"Queen Amidala here is right." Spike spoke up. "So, what's next on the menu, pet?" He asked turning to Harmony.
Harmony beamed, flipping her fishtail excitedly. "Legolas has to hunt Bugs Bunny now like Elmer. Aladdin has to save Bugs. Queen Amidala and Harry have to fight because…because they don't like each other but they secretly do."
Spike grinned as he examined his weapon. "I'm going to enjoy this. Hop away now, Peaches." He taunted Angel. "Just as a fair warning, I am going to hurt you." He chuckled.
"How come I get hunted?" Angel demanded.
"Isn't Harry a little young for Queen Amidala?" Gunn asked.
Fred sighed. "Play along, guys."
"And I'm left out." Lorne mumbled as he took a sip of his drink. "Give me a wedgy now to add to my humiliation."
"You can help me blow bubbles and we can sing." Harmony suggested as she scooted next to Lorne, unable to walk because of the mermaid tail.
Angel, who still refused to be hunted by Spike, spoke up. "Sing? I'll sing."
"No!" Everyone in the room exclaimed in unison.
The door burst open and Eve stood by the doorway, a stunned expression on her face. Her crimson lips stretched into an evil grin as she took a good look at the group, who were currently either frozen in their spot of fidgeting from discomfort. "Well-."
Angel, looking rather absurd in his costume, stepped forward. "You never saw this, Eve."
A/N: I know that the dress-up was unconventional but sitting around all dressed up and drinking tea was already done with Wes. It had to go this way.
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