A/N: Get set for Chapter 2 "Say Uncle"! Tajeri Lynn the Extremo Luchadore once again proves why he is The. Next. Effin'. Show! Okay, so maybe not now, but someday….

Chapter 2: Break Away

As Uncle laid lying like a grizzled heap across the garbage, the young woman was raising up the Sword of Kirishima in victory. She was a vertically challenged figure, but a mighty cute figure at that. Brunette hair swished across her hands as she felt dust and smoke aggravating her perm. Her eyes, more sparkling than the freshest batch of grapes in all the hemispheres, watched her small hands swing the sword, nearly dropping the aged weapon since even with the gloves, her own hands were never meant for slicing and parrying.

"My, hard to believe Mr. Past-his-prime can wield such audacity-" she mused rather naively.

CRACK!

"Ahh!" the woman yelped as she veered her mocha-crème face beyond the wicked swerve of a bullwhip. The whip wasn't aimed at her, its key intention was the Sword of Kirishima, which immediately soared off of her hands.

The gloved woman watched as the sword flew into the hands of another woman. This woman was more readily prepared for tenuous adventure than the little one. Custard yellow strands rolled over her firm, tough mind, all terminating into a single short ponytail. Donned in a lengthy red coat and black pants, the whipper-snapper eyed the sword, but as she saw her associate, her eyes reverted back to hostility, of ignominy, of jealousy.

"Little cheater!" the whipping lady chided loudly, not minding who could sneak by the alley and open an ear. Besides, the moment she'd see any such fool, she'd be sure to whip his ear off. "Without those rubbers of yours, you wouldn't have hit the jackpot!"

"So rude," the little woman whistled quietly, a sharp contrast to her associate. She outreached her hands, letting the gloves jump and skitter next to her shoes. "Taking the sword from me's not going to take away my credit. These two gloves are my witnesses, and you have none. If the boss were to see you hold the sword-"

"Urr, take it, you witch! And my name is Vanessa Barone, Daily Martini!"

Now the little woman scoffed at the offense, thus compelling her to quickly pull the sword off Barone's hands, almost threatening that those hands get cut by the mysterious blade. "The name is Portia Martindale, thank you very much!"

"And my name is Kirishima, master of all evil!"

Vanessa Barone and Portia Martindale watched Uncle regain his composure, raising hands and feet in audacious wiry patterns. Obviously, the old man wasn't going to huff and puff out of this situation.

"You will hand me the blade now!"

"About face!" Vanessa shouted as she raised her lethal whip, arching the weapon over her shoulder, but her grip was stopped by Portia.

"You've forgotten who we're dealing with. I haven't," Portia clucked wryly as she walked before Uncle, sword in hand. Vanessa stared at the Indian wide-eyed in contempt.

"Kirishima will now have his sword back, he says!" Uncle yelled outrageously, pausing only to adjust his minute glasses and hook them on the proper ridge of the nose.

"Mr. Kirishima, we two women are completely helpless against you," cried Portia with pretension as she bowed her face before Uncle. "So we will give you back your sword, under a couple of conditions, questions more like it."

"Hmm? Questions, eh?" Uncle held an inquisitive hand under his chin. He let out a fierce, overconfident grin. He recognized his own skinny brawn as twice those of these young women. "Fine. Ask away, first of all."

"Right…" Portia smiled back at Vanessa with a devious wink. Vanessa growled because she hated people being more devious than her. Portia asked the first question. "Do you know where you are?"

"Of course, I am…er…in…a place…with big stones, many the sizes of mountains…Next question!"

"What happened yesterday?"

"Yesterday, of course! I…uh……remember….being blank, asleep….Another question!"

"What happened before yesterday, all down to the day you were born?"

"I…uh….I….what you think you're pulling?!" Uncle screeched, the wind of his breath swaying Portia's brunette cache.

Ms. Martindale choked at Uncle's garlic breath, but held her own. No amount of odor was going to wipe off her sultry smile. "I am pulling at your past, of which it seems you have none. You are indeed a mighty person, but a mighty person won't do without knowing his memory."

"Urr," Uncle nervously shook his face everywhere. Now that he thought of it, these walls of unfamiliar red stone and streets of zipping boxes were sickening him down to his bumpy gut. Nothing reminded him of anything. "Can you bring back my memory?" He dropped his threatening legs and arms.

Portia smiled. It worked. "Not I, but my dutiful boss. He has mastered a practice called Dark Chi, about the same substance an evil one such as you would harness. I am certain my boss will accept you into our humble abode." She raised up the blade. "Take your sword, please do. My nail polish may get bubbles if I hold this too long. Call it only the first of many reverences to you, Kirishima."

Uncle groaned hopelessly, walking backward to deliberately stifle Portia's smile, but seeing that she wasn't budging, he ran toward her and snatched the sword handle.

"Excellent," Portia exclaimed as large purple clouds swallowed her, the gloves, Uncle, and Vanessa Barone. What no one realized during the departure was that the rumbling of the fallen S.F. Convention Center had subsided a great while ago.

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"Huh? Black, are you okay?" Jackie opened his eyes, his hands set comfortably around his raven black hair. Except for a couple of concrete hillocks, the overall picture remained as it was.

"Ch, everyone's okay!" Jade, who apparently opened her eyes before the rest of the J-Team, was skipping along whatever shrapnel did falter off the roof. Just like Jackie and Black and the dazed company underneath the center, she was short of a clue as to their savior. Could an angel possibly lift the roof for everyone?

Then it hit Jackie, though not so hard that pain shot from his head. "The Horse Talisman! Where is it?"

"Right here, Chan, along with my mommy!" Tohru was smiling comfortably, grateful to see that his less than statute matriarch had armed plenty of sense in herself to inject the curious talisman's healing powers onto a wall of the convention center.

"This is the S.F. Fire Department! Evacuations this way," a fireman pointed out to any unblocked doorways. "The building will not fall, but we suggest all of you leave in a quick but patient manner.

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"Bah, Jackie, you bad nephew! Billy Goat went mad with rabies, and you never gave him his shot!"

The group huddled outside of the low-level stairways leading up to the half-wreckage that once was a convention center.

"Mama Tohru," Jackie explained regretfully. Why must he repeat himself over such distraught news? "My uncle's been cursed by a dangerous sword. That is why he hasn't been himself. He's lost his memory."

"A complete black lie! Why then would Billy Goat threaten me for my cell phone, hmm? Rabid beast wanted phone to make call to his nephew."

"Whoa, whoa!" Jade held up her hands. "Did you say Uncle wanted to call Jackie?"

"Has everyone gone deaf?" Mama Tohru quipped irritatingly. "The Billy Goat mentioned Jackie loud and clear!"

Jade pointed an index finger to Jackie. "Jackie, Uncle hasn't lost his memory. The memory's asleep!"

"Asleep?! But the sword was supposed to wipe his mind clean!"

"Duh, but remember when Uncle once said he had a whole tub of good chi or something like that in him? I think his chi's trying to make him good Uncle again, but the cursed Uncle's too strong!"

"Can any good come out of that?" Captain Black queried to his friends.

"Yes!" Tohru, the 600 pound sumo, lit his eyes up and clapped his hands together in a proud clap. "Uncle and I once did a special spell that allowed anyone to locate a person's chi trace!"

Captain Black rolled the Horse Talisman around his palm, hiding its healing flash with his black jacket. Admittedly not the best position for a Captain to settle himself. He felt like a simpleton intimately taking dope. He rose up. "Never thought of this before, Tohru?"

"I would if I had known Uncle still had his good chi left. Without that chi, his signature would be completely unknown."

"See how my smart my boy is?" Mama Tohru added, feeling left out once more. "Soon enough, he'll have Billy Goat, hook, line, and sinker. Then I'm going to cook his brains out!!!!"

Not really aware of Mama Tohru's acidic remarks, Jackie Chan smiled and patted Tohru's shoulder amusingly. "I knew you could do it! Um….but how are you going to do it?"

"The ingredients are still available at the shop," Tohru rose a finger for every item that counted. "Hummingbird saliva, two eggs, cubed tongue of cow, powdered chengdu garlic, lining of rabbit stomach, an apple half-eaten by Uncle-"

"Ulh! Half-eaten apple?" Jackie spoke in disbelief as everyone started walking their way.

Being Uncle's apprentice, Tohru seemed hardly fazed by everything he said. "That'll be the key ingredient for finding him, Jackie."

"So that's why Uncle took that half-eaten apple I took!" Jade exclaimed excitably. "I've got to get that spell, so I could find Ruby with it. I let Ruby eat that apple, not myself!"

"Uh, Jade," Tohru began nervously, "there's something you should know about the spell."

Jade jumped on Tohru's shoulders, sitting down comfortably above the rotund tower of power. "I know, Tohru. You've got to chant 'Gyu-mo-gue-guai-fai-dee-tzao' while the final concoction's done, so that Jackie can find Uncle!"

"Not only that, Jade. The ingredients will be mixed into a drink for Jackie to drink while I state the magical chant. Only then will your uncle find THE Uncle." Tohru turned around his massive shoulders. "Now where'd Jackie Chan go?"

Not far off, an Asian-American in blue and brown was clearly leaning over an emergency fire truck at the convention's parking lane.

"Aw, shit!" the captain of the truck outburst as he saw what the man had delivered. "And we just had a car wash yesterday!"

To Be Continued…

A/N: There now! Two chapters for today. Ain't I being a charitable Luchadore? Well, for those Extremo Luchadore fans, I shall write forth more of this story now that my madness has faded off. Worrying about when FFN will return is no more to the Extremo Luchadore, so goodbye, FFN-itis, and don't come back!

Oh, yeah. Lime coming up next…

Adios, amigos!