A/N: I couldn't get my hands of the book this weekend, so the order might
be messed up. If so please review and tell me so it can be fixed
immediately. Heck, review anyway, or I will tell Grusha (my overweight
balinese cat) to shed and drool on you. And she will.
Disclaimer: Nothing here belongs to me. No matter how much I wish George did. Or Faithful did. Or jon so I could kill him, ((don't like him much in case you didn't notice)
The very secret diary of Prince Jonathan (Part II)
Day 364: almost one year now since Alanna arrived here. Has grown two inches. Will still call her Squirt until she reaches my neck.
Day 381: Squirt went camping in woods. Said needed to find true self. Spent enough time disguising her true self ought to know it pretty well by now. Whatever. More time for me to get in touch with my inner jerkishness. Let's see: ah yes kingship for dummies: a guide to the exploitation of those around you. ((Bedtime story) where's gary? He said he'd read it to me.....
Day 401: Squirt back. Rather long trip. Now has own diminutive sidekick. Rather creepy cat with mutant eyes as well.
Day 416: Squirt whupped foreign ambassador's @$$. Wow. She used to always suck at swordsmanship. Now better than me. And as we all know am perfect. Hate squirt. I know! Will make dance with all ladies at next ball. Squirt shall squirm under my wrath.
Day 452: hahaha. Squirt funny when mad. Squirt got klepto to send spies to tissan(?). Suspect klepto hitting on my squire. Didn't even ask my royal permission first. Jerk.
Day 453: Just to bug klepto, believe will get Squirt to fall in love with me. Add one more willing female to my harem, make klepto jealous, where downside?
Later: have thought of downside. What if Squirt sees through tactics used on other girls.... Only seen about 8 of my conquests, so probably will not notice. Then, there are those times I discussed those tactics and told Squirt the success rates for each one.... Well, one way to find out...
Day 462: Good news: as suspected, Squirt not very bright with stuff like this. Bad news: received 5 death threats from and two assassins sent by klepto. Wonder if can buy him off?
Day 473: blackmail works best. Mentioned having tea with Lord Provost fairly often, wouldn't want name to slip now would we? Am so cool and totally in control. But if looks could kill, I would have had to have told him from another room. Never seen a face turn that purple, interesting....
Day 474: going to war with tissan(?) or something. Idol Roger leading army, Duke Gareth likely dead from old fogey disease.
Day 483: Squirt wounded, so can't fight. Like traipsing around the hospital and draining Gift dry any better. Wait, why would that matter? Only person worth anything in this godd*** army is yours truly.
Day 485: Squirt got sentry duty. Kidnapped. Tempted to leave there but then harem incomplete. Will be noble and go rescue, if can wake up black-cat-in- drunken-stupor-that-knows-where-to-find-her.
Day 486: found Squirt. Saved Squirt. Big hassle. Next time leave to fend for herself. Sleep schedule absolutely screwed up because had to track down dumb squire. *insert cuss word here* stupid cat just bit me. Life sucks.
Day 490: war over. We won. Yay. Back to palace for school. Boo. Harem lives there too. Yay. Squirt kind of twitchy since kidnapping. Fun to spook. Hehehehe.
Day 503: there was a ball last night. Squirt disguised self as black haired lady. New it was Squirt though. No one accustomed to being a lady would wear that much makeup. Also, slept with Squirt before klepto could! Neener- neener-neener! = P
Day 572: Squirt hates cold. Wraps self up with her blankets, my blankets, and all the ones from the Dancing Dove Inn. Then rolls wherever she needs to go. Entertaining, but makes me turn into ice cube @ night.
Day 580: Squirt attacked by big wolf. Suspect because of so many blankets looks like fat fleecy sheep. Wouldn't tell her that though.
Day 602: some weirdo salted skating rink. Squirt fell through. After getting out, took all my sheets and all the Dancing Dove Inn's sheets as well as her usual 5-foot thick layer of blankets.
Day 700: was v. noble today. Friends and me got together to outfit Squirt with some proper armor because was her 17th birthday. Am such good person. Am jealous, though. Didn't get that good of stuff for own birthday.
Day 703: Squirt is now Sir Alanna. Sir Alanna still short. Sir Alanna killed Roger. Not very nice. But as Roger was trying to take over throne, guess is okay... Roger slashed through chest binding stuff on Squirt Sir Alanna. Court got to see chest. Expression on dad's face priceless. V. entertaining. Got grounded tho for not telling on her.
Day 705: Squirt rode off to go live with the desert natives for a while. Interesting choice, not one I would have picked, but to each his her own.
Disclaimer: Nothing here belongs to me. No matter how much I wish George did. Or Faithful did. Or jon so I could kill him, ((don't like him much in case you didn't notice)
The very secret diary of Prince Jonathan (Part II)
Day 364: almost one year now since Alanna arrived here. Has grown two inches. Will still call her Squirt until she reaches my neck.
Day 381: Squirt went camping in woods. Said needed to find true self. Spent enough time disguising her true self ought to know it pretty well by now. Whatever. More time for me to get in touch with my inner jerkishness. Let's see: ah yes kingship for dummies: a guide to the exploitation of those around you. ((Bedtime story) where's gary? He said he'd read it to me.....
Day 401: Squirt back. Rather long trip. Now has own diminutive sidekick. Rather creepy cat with mutant eyes as well.
Day 416: Squirt whupped foreign ambassador's @$$. Wow. She used to always suck at swordsmanship. Now better than me. And as we all know am perfect. Hate squirt. I know! Will make dance with all ladies at next ball. Squirt shall squirm under my wrath.
Day 452: hahaha. Squirt funny when mad. Squirt got klepto to send spies to tissan(?). Suspect klepto hitting on my squire. Didn't even ask my royal permission first. Jerk.
Day 453: Just to bug klepto, believe will get Squirt to fall in love with me. Add one more willing female to my harem, make klepto jealous, where downside?
Later: have thought of downside. What if Squirt sees through tactics used on other girls.... Only seen about 8 of my conquests, so probably will not notice. Then, there are those times I discussed those tactics and told Squirt the success rates for each one.... Well, one way to find out...
Day 462: Good news: as suspected, Squirt not very bright with stuff like this. Bad news: received 5 death threats from and two assassins sent by klepto. Wonder if can buy him off?
Day 473: blackmail works best. Mentioned having tea with Lord Provost fairly often, wouldn't want name to slip now would we? Am so cool and totally in control. But if looks could kill, I would have had to have told him from another room. Never seen a face turn that purple, interesting....
Day 474: going to war with tissan(?) or something. Idol Roger leading army, Duke Gareth likely dead from old fogey disease.
Day 483: Squirt wounded, so can't fight. Like traipsing around the hospital and draining Gift dry any better. Wait, why would that matter? Only person worth anything in this godd*** army is yours truly.
Day 485: Squirt got sentry duty. Kidnapped. Tempted to leave there but then harem incomplete. Will be noble and go rescue, if can wake up black-cat-in- drunken-stupor-that-knows-where-to-find-her.
Day 486: found Squirt. Saved Squirt. Big hassle. Next time leave to fend for herself. Sleep schedule absolutely screwed up because had to track down dumb squire. *insert cuss word here* stupid cat just bit me. Life sucks.
Day 490: war over. We won. Yay. Back to palace for school. Boo. Harem lives there too. Yay. Squirt kind of twitchy since kidnapping. Fun to spook. Hehehehe.
Day 503: there was a ball last night. Squirt disguised self as black haired lady. New it was Squirt though. No one accustomed to being a lady would wear that much makeup. Also, slept with Squirt before klepto could! Neener- neener-neener! = P
Day 572: Squirt hates cold. Wraps self up with her blankets, my blankets, and all the ones from the Dancing Dove Inn. Then rolls wherever she needs to go. Entertaining, but makes me turn into ice cube @ night.
Day 580: Squirt attacked by big wolf. Suspect because of so many blankets looks like fat fleecy sheep. Wouldn't tell her that though.
Day 602: some weirdo salted skating rink. Squirt fell through. After getting out, took all my sheets and all the Dancing Dove Inn's sheets as well as her usual 5-foot thick layer of blankets.
Day 700: was v. noble today. Friends and me got together to outfit Squirt with some proper armor because was her 17th birthday. Am such good person. Am jealous, though. Didn't get that good of stuff for own birthday.
Day 703: Squirt is now Sir Alanna. Sir Alanna still short. Sir Alanna killed Roger. Not very nice. But as Roger was trying to take over throne, guess is okay... Roger slashed through chest binding stuff on Squirt Sir Alanna. Court got to see chest. Expression on dad's face priceless. V. entertaining. Got grounded tho for not telling on her.
Day 705: Squirt rode off to go live with the desert natives for a while. Interesting choice, not one I would have picked, but to each his her own.