A/N: Tajeri Lynn the Extremo Luchadore is back again with another installment of JCA mania! The plot of "Say Uncle" is mine, but the characters and such belong to the real slim Jackie, Sony and Kids Dubba-You-Be.
JCA fans, salute! From the way Extremo Luchadore sees it, by next summer, JCA will have accomplished 65 tales. Killer! Pray that it can go through a hundred.
Now that that's been said, let's get on with SU. Again, muchos gracias to those reading this. You fans have a lot to say!
Say Uncle
Chapter 4: Steal Me
He was still too close to the shop.
Still too close to those reminders.
He had to add an extra mile or so from it.
Besides, Uncle may be slicing and dicing somewhere in the city.
Was worth the chance.
So as far as he thought, Jackie didn't want to waste time in deep contemplation over past ordeals. The past wasn't supposed to repeat itself in the present, he refused to acknowledge such an ideal. Thus did Jackie tie together a ruffle of bed-sheets into a flimsy series of rope, and ensuring that the bedroom door was properly double-locked, he lowered the sheets out the window, dipped himself out of his bedroom window, and paced his feet down against the brick wall of the shop. He only needed to reach the midpoint between the window and the sidewalk before dropping down and landing as safely as a feline customarily would from such a distance.
He stared one more glance at the wall of the shop, just to assure himself that the rope wasn't long enough for anyone save him to reach, and then he skittered off across a row of street lights, which imbued a trail of his shadows following his every move.
Jackie knew this was stupider than anything he ever accomplished. Funny that he kept telling Jade not to make impromptu escapes using bed-sheets, but Jackie quickly excused himself with two reasons. One, being in the shop told him there was no Uncle; the presence of Jade, Tohru, Mama Tohru and Black combined couldn't assuage him from that. And two, being in the shop wasn't being productive. Black's team may have a shot at Uncle, but they didn't understand Uncle's physique as well as Jackie did. Uncle was a sly rubber band of an old man; Section 13 ran a high risk of being too careful trying not to hurt him and then being too reckless trying to stop him dead in his tracks.
Dead....Why in the world did Jackie have to think of that?
RIIING!
Jackie jumped like a cat who just saw a gruesome-looking mouse. The sudden noise in the middle of streets so void of sound had shattered his thoughts. Oh no, was he being in deep thought again? He swore not to-
RIIING!
Straining a growl and taking one more tear at his raven-hued tresses, Jackie picked up his cell phone and nearly slammed his thumb down on the disconnecting button, hopefully to snuff out any chance of Black or his friends finding him. Jackie wanted only to afford some peace and quiet; everyone in the shop felt too loud, no matter how soft they were knowing that Uncle was missing for what seemed like a whole season. Jackie didn't want to get a call, and if this was some crank call he'll have to kill this phone and get the local service to get a replacement.
But this, this delivery he got was not the kind of call that was met by a voice. It was an electronic message sent forth by an unknown sender, someone by the cryptic name of "CraZ Grrl". He never heard of such a person trodding in his life before, but it was a female, so he assumed by the name. Not many women got his commissions e-mail address and even fewer ever pondered on his personal address. Only one woman probably got his address and that was Viper, though apparently she had snuck into his pockets and tinkered with the phone's data, because there was not a single day that Jackie recalled giving his friend the address. That left Jade being the possible sender, but no, she never was one to let her mouth go to waste, and at urgent, angsty moments like this, she would talk to him loud and clear. Besides, the message left behind sounded all too intimate.
Please share a night with me.
Observe the following, and we'll be fine.
Right in front of you, there'll be a bus route.
Took me ten minutes to reach where I am.
I've got all the time in the world, do you?
Alcatraz. Not the actual prison but quite next to it. Ta-ta, Mr. Chan.
Jackie was very surprised to be addressed by his last name, not to mention the "ta-ta" closing remark. Since when did anyone go "ta-ta" to him?
Well, whoever it was might not be too worn out by his momentary loss. Jackie felt a tad guilty of resorting to fun when Uncle was gone, but Black said so himself; that spell wouldn't come into effect by an hour and agents were everywhere searching for Uncle. What were the chances that Jackie could run into him, anyway?
Just in case he did, he would really have to apologize to this woman, if this was bound to be a really fine matter.
******************************************************************************
Jackie walked out of a metropolitan bus, the kind where the bus driver was so preoccupied he seemed heartless or uncaring for not having said good-bye to his departing passengers. But never mind that, bus drivers were not in lieu with this woman Jackie was about to confide with. Hopefully she would be one to keep his mentality in check. He had to make himself sane or else Uncle himself may never be sane again. Jackie continued his way to the roadway adjacent to the moonlit waters of San Francisco Bay.
There she stood, in a long dark coat and bristling long hair reaching down to her waist. She had one hand on a telescope situated for tourist viewing of the Alcatraz prison, and her fingers tapped over the scope sequentially, from the pinky to the thumb in a cycle of boredom. From how she angled herself to the left, she was not staring at Alcatrax but rather at the waves of the bay, which glowed as the waters rose up, and dimmed as the waters sunk down. Why she alighted herself in such an environment was beyond Jackie, though there was no denying that nature was certainly a lot prettier than a hunk of island junk. The Chan Man proceeded forward gingerly and rose up a hand when her sunglass-donned eyes caught him around her circle.
"Hello, miss," he made a smile despite his inner conflicts. "I...I got your call and...bwah-YOU?!" His face sunk to a frown.
Hearing his greeting, the woman had removed her sunglasses, and her eyes were a familiar shade of color like those of rich red grapes in a renaissance of harvest. She didn't let her eyes open wide; in fact, they were slightly sleepy, just as if to conceal her sharpened readiness for trouble.
But Jackie knew another thing; this woman was trouble as well.
"H-How did you.....?" Before he finished the question, Jackie made a scowl and queried, "I mean, why did you call me here?"
"To make my presence known, Mr. Chan. My, you sound even more venomous than the last time we convened. Did I really make you feel that bad?"
"Things have been much worse," Jackie snapped. "I don't want to confide myself among criminals."
Portia shut her mouth and stifled a chain of ticklish giggles. Jackie squinted his eyebrows to a level of impatience.
"Why are you laughing?" he asked, half-confused and half-mad.
"Mr. Chan, I forgot to be thank you for our previous rendezvous."
"What for?"
She smiled assuring and crossed her arms. "For sparing me a getaway."
Portia Martindale was right. When she had aided in the pilfering of the Sutras of Rachtajhiba, she had intended to use the sutras to magically suck the Ganges dry and uncover its ultimate trove of booty. Very few a modern man would know what the sutras were capable of doing. Magic was a joke, a footnote in the pages of recent history. She couldn't have a criminal record; there were only a few individuals aware of the incident, and the sutras were returned to the proper guardian (albeit a magical one) so there was no use in handing the guilty party over for a crime that had no trace of evidence.
"You were lucky, Portia," Jackie chided and stood rigid. "If it had been something more down to earth-"
"Down to earth? Oh, please, Mr. Chan, down to earth never is my type of venture."
"Then I suppose down-to-earth isn't your type of friend?" Jackie implied himself into the picture, quickly turning around to a oncoming bus so that he could hop in and get back to the shop. Of all the people he had to meet today....
"I don't quite see you as down-to-earth," Portia replied, cupping a hand on Jackie's.
"I do. It's how I think on my feet. Stop holding." Turning his face back to her sweet face, Jackie was disgusted, but spoke in a low key. "Please let go of me. I don't want to hurt you, ur, I mean...."
Portia pouted playfully, and dropped her hand. "And to think I was the cold one."
"I'm not cold. I'm just....chilling," Jackie was thinking about Jade right around that time, wondering if she was trying to unlock the door to his strangely noiseless bedroom. "Whether you're a criminal or not, I can't trust you."
"You sound like you're in trouble."
Jackie clenched his teeth, shut his eyes and frazzled his raven tresses like a rookie's massage. He dropped the frustrations and felt this was something he couldn't just run from. He help up his arm to read the time; 20 minutes till the spell worked. "Portia, I have enough trouble for one day..."
Portia halted Jackie by starting a reply, though it felt a tad difficult to execute it. "I-I don't want to cause trouble to you, Mr. Chan. If you must go...."
"Why so nice all of a sudden?" Jackie locked his eyebrows in a urgent glare. "Trying to trick me by sounding like nothing's wrong?"
"Jackie, just because I'm cold doesn't qualify me as ignorant. A friend of yours must be lost. Certainly that can't be a trick?"
Jackie's eyes were now agape in shock. "Wha-How long have you been following me?!"
"Since I transferred here to SFU this afternoon. It seems I'm about to be your new student, Mr. Chan. Wonder how that'll go. But the point of the matter is that you have lost somebody. Your face and your stance shows it."
Jackie glared at her. "That's for me to know and you to find out."
"My, what an interesting transformation of character we're seeing here," Portia shook her head but not disapprovingly. She had a way of feeling sorry when the other person wasn't. It was called feigning kindness.
"I-" Jackie got tongue-tied just as he had began. He just heard that for the first time since Uncle disappeared; transformation....What was he about to become? Why was it that it took years to polish up a clean friendliness and a minute to spawn a flow of hatred? He didn't get it, but just as Uncle was becoming this Kirishima, who may permanently occupy the body of Uncle, Jackie felt like he wasn't being human anymore. And a coquettish criminal knew this better than even his friends? What was the world spiraling into?
"Look, Portia," Jackie said, trying to be understandable, "I came here...oh, because I had time to spare, but now that it's 7:40, I have important business very soon. You can't know anything about it. I'm sorry if I'm leaving too early...." Jackie stared from one end of his face to another in hugely clueless state. Did I just I was sorry?"
"My ears don't fail me, Mr. Chan," Portia smiled. "You better leave, if the matter's of great importance."
Jackie held an index finger to indicate something that was singular. "One final question, and that is all. Why did you call me here?"
"After what you told me, I'm not sure if I-"
"Please. I need to know the answer."
"Well," she began, incredibly timid, "I want to let you know that there's been bad blood between us, but...I have a liking for you, Mr. Chan."
Jackie Chan collapsed on his knee, and rose back up to see the baffled Portia with tiny pupils occupying the whites of his eyes. "What?! How could you-?"
An air of unreadiness slid across her mouth. "Mr. Chan, Jackie Chan, I have met many men who've come and gone wherever I roam, and you've been the most impressive man I've gotten to know. There's a certain charm about you that I can't shrug off, and I'm not referring to your gullibility. I know this is hard, me being a crook, but when I broke your trust, nothing was the same. The man I hung out with was disappointed with my not getting the treasure and well, to be concise, I realized he didn't have the selflessness you have, no other man did. Maybe that was why I stole the sutras, to gain some attention, from someone who'd care, but, I can't be quite certain of that....My, how long have I been rambling?"
"Not too long," Jackie replied, his ears were wide open in case the ringing of his cellphone came up. A quick glance at the watch told him there was 15 minutes left. "Continue."
"Is my story that gripping?"
"Stories relax me," Jackie replied. He realized he had spent more time talking to her than anyone else all day long. Could one dub that a grand achievement of sorts?
Portia plucked off an occasional leaf that clung to her coat as the night became eerily breezy. "I better make it quick, Mr. Chan. I came here to change my luck, that and improve on my anthropology. I think a new home will help curb my ambitions. I used to think there were simpler means of getting rich, but they weren't worth it. I might as well resort to my old trade of archaeology. I won't return to thievery anymore."
"Don't always believe that, Portia. Ancient proverb," he faced very closely, confident that his abilities were not one for Portia to meddle. "You can take yourself away from the crime, but you can not take the crime out of yourself."
".....Come again?" Portia cocked her face to one side, a gesture usually done by the Chan Man himself.
"It'll take time for me to change what I think of you, Portia. I fully trust anyone, but the first time they do something wrong, I become much more careful. And I think on my feet." At around that time, Jackie thought about a giant sumo who for so long was smashing through walls just to break Jackie Chan, all leading down to a quiet scene of the sumo humming about, brooming a shop and saving Jackie from slipping off a puddle of Jade's spilled milk on the floor. Jackie began thinking carefully, and smiled in a rather friendly mood. "But.....I have a friend who once was on the wrong side of things, so I know people can change. So don't feel left out." He walked to an oncoming bus. "I don't know when I'll see you again, but maybe at the university. And don't try to cheat on your exams. That too would be a crime."
"Cheat, Mr. Chan? Writing notes on my arms would be a terrible sense of fashion, wouldn't you agree?" She lifted her coated arms up for Jackie to see; they were prettier than any girl in some shameless magazine.
Jackie looked up at her. "Your hands are nice, but that coat hides your arms very well," he grinned in a giddy and teasing manner. "....Good night, Portia," Jackie waved a thoughtful good-bye as he trotted inside the bus and began fumbling around his pockets for a bus token. The bus went its merry way down to Chinatown and Portia saw the Chan Man's form slip from the bus' sudden jerk as it halted by a stoplight in the horizon.
Portia rubbed her hands together in relief, clasping in some nice bay breeze to soothe her palms. "Well, that worked well indeed." She grabbed a cell phone and looked at her time. "Half an hour left. By now, Mr. Wong will be interrogating on Kirishima. Maybe then, I can finalize this stint and come clean upon the nick of time. I can't afford to hurt Jackie for doing any more crimes. It wouldn't make do for the new Portia Martindale."
To Be Continued.....
A/N: I guess you know what was with that mysterious message. Don't know? Look at the first letters on each line, and you'll understand.
I don't know where I'm going from here, cause this was where I had prepared and then my mind got to a pit stop. Updates after this may take a long while, I don't know. I think this was a weird chapter, how 'bout you? (My brother and I like Viper, honestly we do. But we agree that Portia has just as much potential to fit in with Jackie; remember how not everyone agrees with Jade and Paco? Okay, so this ain't the same, but I think Jackie and Portia's rapport could fit in nicely. It's super HARD to write about a one-episode character.) Well, until his thinking groove gets back on board, this is Tajeri Lynn, saying Adios to the amigos who worship JCA!