A few weeks went by, and as Buffy assisted Giles in the library, a deep-
seated connection began to form between them. He helped her with her
schoolwork and she was happy that she could return the favor by cataloging
books, and doing light clerical work for him. He listened to her when she
felt blue and they joked with each other easily. Giles was pleasantly
stunned by the young girl's sharp wit, even when she proceeded to butcher
the English language with her odd turns of phrase.
He was the closest thing she had to a best friend. She still hadn't made any friends among the students. She was leery of getting close to anyone her age. Buffy had been an object of curiosity during her first week of school, and people had approached her, but she remained quiet and aloof, and eventually she was labeled as an 'odd-fish'. Once, when a boy tried to flirt with her, she became very agitated, and he'd backed away, muttering, "That chit's not batting on a full wicket." Buffy had no idea what that meant, but as long as it kept people away, it sounded fine to her.
Rupert Giles and Joyce Summers were becoming friends with each other as well, often having tea in each other's respective apartments. Buffy's lack of friends was a subject she and Giles discussed frequently. Joyce Summers worried about her daughter, and noticed that Buffy was sociable only when she was with her or Giles, but she kept others away at arms' length. Joyce had been incensed when Buffy told her about Mrs. Slander, and she'd called the school to complain. Unfortunately, the woman had been working at that institution for so long, she'd become a fixture, and they wouldn't fire her. Joyce decided she would find a real therapist for Buffy, so she could start healing, and open up to people again.
About a month after the Summers women had settled into their new life, Joyce was asked by her boss to look at some paintings by an artist in Wales. She wouldn't be able to bring Buffy along since she'd have to miss school, and she thought perhaps Giles wouldn't mind keeping an eye on her daughter for her. She dialed his number from her office. After three rings, Giles picked up the phone.
"Rupert, this is Joyce. Listen, I have to go out of town for a few days, and I was wondering if you might be able to look after Buffy-"
"Of course, I'd be happy to, Joyce. I have a spare bedroom my nephew William sometimes uses. He hasn't been over for a while, so she could stay in there, if you'd rather she wasn't alone at your place." Giles offered.
"Oh, thank you so much, that would be wonderful. I hate to impose on you like this, but when I get back, I'll take us all out for a nice meal as a 'thank you', how's that?" suggested Joyce, grateful for her neighbor's help. "Maybe if Buffy feels up to meeting him, William could come along."
"Not at all, it'll be my pleasure," Giles reassured her. "I don't know about William, though, he tends to prefer to be with his friends more than with his old uncle." He wasn't sure Buffy was ready to meet his nephew. Will was a force to be reckoned with, and although Giles didn't know the specifics, he'd guessed that Buffy had been severely traumatized somehow, and he thought meeting his volatile nephew might be too much for at this point. He'd mentioned that his nephew attended school with her, but she hadn't seemed interested, so he'd dropped the subject. The girl was becoming like a daughter to him, and he was only too glad to help make her feel safe.
That evening, Giles opened his door and greeted Buffy warmly.
"Thanks Giles for letting me crash here. Mom has to go pick up this expensive painting in some town I can't pronounce." Buffy quipped as she entered the apartment, lugging an overnight bag with her. Giles marveled at how relaxed she could be around him. She was almost a different person; confident, smart, and cheerful. He hoped someday she could overcome her fears and be that way around others.
"Planning on doing some homework tonight?" asked Giles with mock-severity.
Buffy rolled her eyes and stated in a voice laced with humor, "And that is what I get for living down the hall from a teacher. Is everything about work and school with you?"
He huffed, "Yes, and what else do you suppose there is to do?"
She giggled, "Plenty! I'm going down to the pool. I haven't gone swimming in over two days with all the tests I've been studying for. I need a break." She added, "I'll be gone for about thirty minutes. Just enough time for you to cook us a great meal." She smiled and laughed, and headed towards the spare room to change. A few minutes later, she bounded out the door with a wave, clad in a big t-shirt, baggy sweatpants and flip-flops carrying her bathing suit wrapped in a towel. Giles headed to the kitchen to check and to make sure he had more than one frozen dinner, when his phone rang.
"Who could that be?" he wondered aloud as he picked up the receiver. When he heard his nephew's voice on the line, he berated himself inwardly. 'Blast! I forgot William was coming over for dinner tonight! Can't cancel on him now, the poor boy doesn't get enough to eat in his own home,' he mused. His nephew was downstairs, and there was no way to warn Buffy there would be a strange boy joining them that evening. Giles felt relieved when the boy told him he was going to his friend, Xander's apartment first. Perhaps he'd have enough time to prepare Buffy then.
Buffy tore off her clothes and dived into the water, cutting through it like a knife. She'd been swimming for ten minutes or so, when two boys entered the pool area. She recognized the dark-haired boy from that first day, as well as from school. The boy with the bleached blond hair she had seen at school as well, but she hadn't seen him in the apartment building before. They often hung out together, and she didn't know their real names, but she'd heard them refer to each other as 'the Whelp' and 'Spike'. They sometimes gave her a hard time at school; no doubt 'the Whelp' had told 'Spike' about her skittish behavior; but other times they ignored her. She preferred it when they ignored her, and didn't call out names like, 'freaky bint' at her. Buffy swam to the ladder and climbed out; too scared to be alone with them in the pool area. She hurriedly donned her t-shirt and sweatpants, not bothering to dry off when she saw them walking towards her.
"Hello," Buffy heard 'the Whelp' say. She just shrugged it off as if she hadn't heard him, and walked by the two boys, taking care to avoid looking at them.
The blond boy called after her, "S'not very nice to ignore a bloke when he says hello to you."
She turned around and quickly said, "Hi," meaning to walk away again, but she stood frozen as 'the Whelp' walked over to her.
"I'm Xander. That's my friend Spike, over there." He gestured to the other boy, who joined him. She stared at them, wondering what they were going to do. 'The Whelp,' or Xander, stared back noticing the fear in her eyes.
"Uh, listen, I know we got off on the wrong foot before..." He moved closer to her trying to prove that he was friendly but she moved back just as fast, and turned to go. The other boy came up from behind her and put his hands on her shoulders to stop her.
"Don't!" she cried. The boys exchanged puzzled glances. She pulled away and headed for the exit.
Spike jumped in front of the door and said, "What's your problem?"
Buffy felt Xander come up behind her and she suddenly felt sandwiched. The boys weren't even touching her, but they were too close.
"Please just get out of my way?" she asked, her voice pleading. She reached for the door handle, but Spike grabbed her wrist. He was strong. She closed her eyes trying to keep the tears that formed from falling. "Let me go!" Buffy stared into his eyes and begged, "Don't hurt me."
Spike was startled by her escalating distress, and let go of Buffy's wrist. Once free she slipped past him and bolted out the door.
"She must be a lesbian," Xander quipped as she disappeared once again.
Buffy reentered Giles' apartment using the key he had lent her. Her host didn't hear her come in; having gone to change his shirt after spilling marinara sauce all over the one he'd been wearing. Buffy headed straight for the bathroom to take a shower. As she slowly shed her clothes she looked at her reflection in the mirror. She frowned at what she saw.
"What happened to me?" she whispered while wrapping her arms protectively around her body. She used to take such pride in her wavy golden hair, but she had stopped dyeing it shortly after the rape. Now, her hair hung limply over her shoulders, back to its natural dark brown color. Her breasts, which hadn't been big to begin with, were even smaller from all the weight she had lost. Her stomach was so thin that it looked concave and her ribs poked out. Buffy's eyes were sunk back into her head, dark rims circling them and her once tanned skin was now a pale white.
Stepping into the shower she whispered to herself, "Who am I anymore?"
Once she was finished with the shower, she dried off with her towel, and went to put on her t-shirt. Unfortunately, it was soaked from having worn it right after getting out of the pool, as were the sweatpants, so she wrapped the towel around her body instead, and stepped into the hallway, heading for her room.
When she opened the door, she was flabbergasted to find Spike standing in the middle of the room, tugging a black t-shirt on. She let out a shriek, and backed up when he looked at her, startled.
"Uncle Rupes," he called out. "Why is there a girl in your flat, wearing a towel?" Buffy clasped the towel tightly to her body, turning beet red, as he stared at her. Raising an eyebrow, he inquired, "Better yet, love, why don't you tell me why you're here?"
Buffy opened her mouth to speak, when Giles came out of his room to see what the noise was about.
"Oh -as they say- dear," he muttered as he took in the scene before him.
"Something you're not telling me, Rupes?" Spike smirked at his uncle.
"Buffy, I'm terribly sorry. I completely forgot that my nephew was coming to dinner tonight," Giles explained, feeling like a complete ponce.
Buffy looked up at Giles, and murmured incredulously, "He's your nephew?" At that, Spike let out a bark of laughter, but wiped the smirk from his face when Giles gave him a warning glare.
"Er, yes. I had mentioned him before, but-" Giles cut off when he saw Buffy was standing around in a ruddy towel and shivering. "Buffy why don't you go ahead and change, and Spike can help me with dinner." he suggested, giving Spike a meaningful look.
"Uh, yeah, I'll just get out of your way then, pet," Spike mumbled as he walked past Buffy, who was giving him a wide berth.
"Are you all right, dear?" Giles asked as he turned to leave.
"Yeah, fine. Just peachy." Buffy answered softly, and she closed the bedroom door.
Once Giles reached the living room, he glared at William, who was giving him an appraising look.
"New girlfriend there, Rupes?" he asked snidely. "Didn't think you were into that kind of thing."
"Very funny, Will." Replied Giles with exasperation. "She's the daughter of my new neighbor who had to go out of town for a few days. She asked if Buffy could stay here so she wouldn't be alone. Please don't give her a hard time; she's very sensitive, if you hadn't noticed."
"Yeah, couldn't help but notice that," Spike noted. "What's wrong with her?"
"I don't know, nor is it any of our business," retorted Giles as he strode to the kitchen to get dinner ready. "She's just shy, I suppose," he offered lamely.
Spike snorted at that summation, but held back his comment when he heard Buffy approaching. He turned around to see her walking with her head down; she wore long black sweatpants and a monster size sweatshirt. Giles brought the serving dish full of pasta to the table, and the three of them sat down.
The meal progressed in silence. Buffy was over her initial shock of seeing Spike and having him see her in a towel, but the scene in the pool room still unnerved her. Buffy eventually became tired of the tense, quiet atmosphere, and decided to be brave,
"So you two are related?" Buffy felt like an idiot as soon as she asked the question. 'Duh, Buffy!' she thought as she slapped herself mentally. 'Obvious much?'
Spike snorted, "Not by choice, right Uncle Rupes?" Buffy blanched at the nasty tone of his voice, indignant that he should say something so unkind to her friend. Giles opened his mouth to reply to Spike's barb when the phone rang.
"Excuse me." Giles rose from his seat to answer the phone in the kitchen, which left an uncomfortable silence between the two teenagers.
"Why are you so mean to your Uncle?" Buffy her emerald eyes flashing.
The blonde rolled his eyes, "I am not mean, pet. He's just my sodding uncle on my mum's side. We never cared to see each other much until after she died, and now he's trying to relieve the guilt."
Buffy looked down at her plate, embarrassed. "I'm sorry about your Mom." Losing a little more of her fear, she met his eyes. "But Giles is a great person. He's been a really good friend to my mom and me since we got here." She started to play with the food on her plate when he just stared back at her and frowned.
Spike watched her fingers fiddle with the frayed collar of her shirt. He got a glimpse of a large scar just below her collarbone.
"Where'd you get the nasty scar?" he asked before he could think.
Startled, she pulled the collar over the scar; one of her many souvenirs from Angel. She searched frantically for a response, "It's just something that happened ...I don't want to talk about it." Her eyes got watery and she closed them tightly. He watched her intently and his mind registered the pain on her face when she answered. He thought it would be better for them both if he just shut up.
Her small appetite had disappeared, and she stood up, taking her plate to the kitchen. While scraping her food into the garbage she said, "Tell Giles I'm going to take a walk. I'll just keep to the playground behind the building. I won't be gone long."
Spike watched her, feeling puzzled as she left the apartment.
'I just had to get out of there,' Buffy thought as she stepped outside in the evening air. 'Too many questions being asked.' It was dusk outside, and Buffy looked up, wanting to see the stars, but the London city lights had snuffed them out. Buffy ambled over to the playground, and sat down on a swing. Memories invaded her brain, bringing her back to when she was a little girl and her dad would push her back and forth on the swing set. They had been such good chums, but as she got older, he spent less and less time with her. He became so involved with his business and his secretary, that he neglected his child. Buffy had always wondered if she could have done something to make him stay. If she had just studied a little harder, maybe she could have made him love her more. She lost a piece of herself when he finally left the family. His abandonment of her had made her much too eager to hang onto boyfriends. She had completely loved and depended on Angel. She'd been blind to his arrogance, and as a result, he'd taken her innocence.
When she came back inside, she found Giles sitting on the sofa, reading a book. Giles turned when he heard the door. "Oh, hello," he greeted cheerily. "Will told me you'd gone outside. It's better to stick to the playground like you'd said, but try not to make a habit of going out at night, eh?"
Buffy nodded. Looking around, she noticed that Giles was alone. "Where'd Spike go?"
"Spike?" Giles looked puzzled for a moment. "Oh, yes, that's what he calls himself isn't it? He went down to his friend's apartment. A fellow named Xander. Have you met him?"
"Yeah, kind of," she replied as a big yawn overtook her.
"I'm really very sorry about earlier," Giles offered, closing his book and standing up to face her. "I'd forgotten that tonight was his night to come over. I hope you're not too upset about that earlier, uh episode..." Giles trailed off awkwardly.
"No," Buffy assured him. "Don't worry about it. I'll be fine." A sudden thought occurred to her. "Is he staying here tonight? I hate to kick him out. Maybe I should just go back to my apartment-"
"No, please, Buffy I assure you it's fine. He's probably going to stay at Xander's tonight if he doesn't go home." Gently placing a hand on the girl's shoulder he said, "You look very tired. Why don't you get some sleep then? Don't worry about Spike, he'll be all right."
"Good plan." she replied. To her own astonishment as well as Giles', she put her arms around him, giving him a timid little hug. "You're a good friend, Giles, you know that? Thanks for everything." With that, she headed for the spare room, leaving a bemused and very touched librarian in her wake.
She crashed into bed, willing sleep to come and grant her some peace. 'I need just one good night of sleep. One night of not thinking of Angel. Just one good night...' Buffy soon drifted into the land of Nod, but was awoken a short time later by a knock at the door. She raised her weary head and called out, "Yeah?"
Giles' voice answered back, "It's your mother. She's on the phone and she wants to talk to you." Buffy got out of bed and quickly opened the door and to grab the cordless phone from Giles. He turned to give her some privacy, but she caught his arm, and indicated it would be a short call. He felt a little intrusive, listening to her conversation, but if she didn't mind, he supposed it was all right.
"Hey Mom. No, I was just getting ready for bed. No, no I'm okay. Well, okay as I will ever get when I dream about him." She glanced at Giles self- consciously. "I promise if I can't sleep I will take my pills. Yes, I have them. No, I haven't taken one yet...MOM. I will take my pills if I need them. But I want to see if I can sleep one night without dreaming of Angel." Buffy winced, not having intended to mention his name in front of Giles. She hoped he would let it slide. "Yes, I love you too. I promise if I can't go to sleep, I will take some. Okay. Be careful. I love you. See ya." She hit the 'off' button and handed the phone back to Giles.
Giles looked at the girl curiously. "You're dreaming of angels?" he asked. "Doesn't sound so bad."
"Uh, no Angel is a person, a guy I knew, well, I thought I did anyway..." Buffy swallowed and looked away. Desperately trying to cover her slip of the tongue, she put on a false smile and looked up at her friend. "Thanks for dinner. It was good. Extra yummy," she told him brightly.
He nodded in acknowledgement and turned to go, but stopped and turned back to regard her with concern. "You know you can talk to me about anything, don't you?"
Buffy looked down at her feet. "Yes. But this anything is very old news. Angel is old news." Giles nodded again, letting the subject drop and walked back to the living room. Buffy turned to go back into her room and said softly, "Old news that haunts my life." She closed the door and crawled under the covers once again. She found sleep as her head hit the pillow, but an instant later her eyes were wide open when she felt a presence in the room with her.
"Don't think I forgot you, Buffy," intoned a voice from the corner of the darkened bedroom. She tried to scream or move, but she was paralyzed with fear. "You worry me sometimes, Buff. Some days I think you've forgotten me–the one who made you." Buffy drew the covers over her head to protect herself from this hallucination, but the voice seemed to have come closer to her. "You can't hide from me. I am everywhere you go. I will come and get you. You wait and see. I'll be back for you. We are meant to be together, Buffy," he whispered in her ear.
Loud screams woke her, and it wasn't until she sat up and opened her eyes that she realized the screams were her own. The door crashed open, and Giles came running in and pulled her into a protective embrace in an attempt to calm the hysterical girl.
"Buffy, what happened, dear? Shh, it's all right, you're safe," Giles stroked her hair, and rocked her gently.
"He-he's out, out of jail. He-he got out," she told him through her sobs.
"Who? Who got out? Did you have a nightmare?" Buffy pulled away from him and shook her head.
Giles sighed, "It's all right, you don't have to tell me. You mentioned some pills, earlier, to help you sleep?" Buffy nodded again.
"They're in my overnight bag,"
Giles stood up from the bed and found the pills for her. "I'll be right back with some water," he said, and left the room. He returned shortly, with a glass full of water, and two pills. Buffy took the glass and the tablets and swallowed them reluctantly. "There, do you feel any better?" Buffy shrugged in response. "I'll let you get back to sleep then." Giles hugged her once more, and turned to leave the room.
"Don't leave me!" she cried.
Giles spun around, floored by her desperate tone, then he gathered his wits and pulled up a chair beside her bed taking hold of her hand. "Do you want to tell me about it?"
Buffy nodded and took a deep breath, needing to release her burden. "Angel was my boyfriend. We'd been together for almost a year. He wanted us to sleep together, but I told him I wasn't ready." She stared at the hand Giles was holding, pulling strength from his reassurance. She continued, "I d-didn't see him for a few days after that. He'd gotten kind of angry at me. Then he called and asked me to go to this party with him. He started drinking as soon as we got there. Later on, he told me he wanted to talk outside where it was quiet, and I went with him." Her painful regret resounded in Giles' ears. "He started kissing me, and he was getting kind of rough, and I told him to stop, but he pulled me down to the ground. I t- tried to get away, but he was too s-strong." Buffy let out a strangled sob. "Angel ra-raped me. He hit me again and again. I was so scared he was gonna kill me afterwards, but someone came outside then, and pulled him off of me and took me to a hospital. I almost went into a coma, 'cause Angel had banged my head on the ground so hard."
As he listened to her story, Giles tightened his jaw in anger. He wanted very much to kill the man who had so damaged this girl he'd come to think of as a daughter. The reasons for her fearful behavior since she arrived became clear to him, and he berated himself silently for not understanding her much earlier.
"My dear, I don't know what to say." he offered. "I'm terribly sorry that this happened to you."
"Do you think it was my fault?" her voice cracked, and she looked at him, her eyes wet with tears. Giles immediately countered, "No, absolutely not. Is that what that Slander woman told you?" He felt the rage build inside when she nodded in confirmation. He pushed it back down, determined to offer Buffy comfort. "Never you mind what she said. It wasn't your fault. The blame lies with your assailant. I only hope he's paying dearly for what he did to you."
"He's in jail. But I had a nightmare that he got out," Buffy murmured.
"Well, don't worry then. It was just a dream. He can't hurt you now. Not if I have anything to say about it." Giles assured her.
Buffy smiled, grateful for his kindness. "Will-will you stay with me until I go to sleep?" she asked in a sheepish voice.
"Of course," he replied. She smiled wanly, and lay back onto the bed and closed her eyes. Giles stayed and watched her until he was sure she'd fallen asleep, then left the room wearily to head to his own bed, and a troubled sleep.
Two days later found Joyce sitting on Giles' sofa with a homemade scrapbook in her hand. "Thank you again, Rupert for watching over my baby," Joyce told him gratefully. "Buffy said she'd told you about what happened to her." Giles nodded his solemnly. Joyce continued with a sigh, "I know that you two are close and I don't know if this is going beyond the bounds, but I worry about her so much. She isn't at all the girl she used to be," She handed him the photograph album and he peered at the page she had opened it to. Seeing a photograph of a smiling, blonde-haired girl standing next to a tall, dark-haired man he asked, "Who is this girl?"
"That's Buffy." Joyce replied. "It was taken about six months ago. It was her birthday. That man standing with his arm around her, that's- that's Angel." Joyce grimaced when she said the hated name. Giles looked at the picture again, studying it more closely. The girl's hair was dyed a golden blonde, and hung around her face in waves. Her skin was a healthy golden pallor, and her cheeks still held a little baby fat. The bright, green eyes twinkled mischievously. Giles marveled at the difference between the cheerful, innocent girl who smiled up at him from the picture and the quiet, fearful girl whose gaunt face reflected the pain of innocence lost.
"What happened to her?" he asked in a hushed voice.
His neighbor sighed regretfully. "After what Angel did to her, she stopped eating. And then she stopped dyeing her hair. She stopped wearing her old clothes. She just stopped everything it seems. Superficial things, but I couldn't find a trace of my baby girl for a long time. Coming here has helped, but you've done wonders for her. I can't thank you enough for that, Rupert." Joyce's eyes shone with gratitude. Giles smiled, and opened his mouth to reply, when they heard a knock at the door, and Spike let himself inside.
"Oh, William. Have you been at Xander's all this time?" Giles inquired. Spike nodded, eyeing the older woman on the couch. "William, this is Joyce Summers, Buffy's mother. Joyce, this is my nephew, William." Joyce smiled at the teenager, and to Giles' astonishment, Spike tilted his head, silently regarding her then greeted her politely.
"Hello, love. Welcome to the neighborhood."
"It's very nice to meet, you William," she replied, standing up to take her leave. "I should get going though. Thanks again, Rupert. Hope to see you again sometime, William." Joyce picked up her purse and Spike held the door open for her, watching her exit. Closing the door, he turned to look at his uncle, who was holding an open scrapbook in his lap.
"Whatcha got there, Rupes?" questioned the young man, as he took the book from Giles.
"Oh, Joyce forgot her scrapbook," Giles explained. "Well, I can give it back later, I suppose. It's actually Buffy's." Giles headed to the kitchen to heat up the teakettle. "Would you like some tea, Will?"
Spike flipped through the pages, looking at the pretty blonde whose image graced them. "No thanks. Da' wanted me to bring this over." Spike shut the book and reached into his back pocket. He held out a dog-eared envelope to his uncle, who had his hands full preparing tea. "It's some kind of official letter. He yelled some bloody incoherent things at me and sent me on my way, the stupid git." Spike put the letter down on the end table and sat down, looking through the scrapbook again. "This is Buffy? The skinny chit who was in your flat yesterday wearing a towel? Looks like a completely different person." Spike smirked. "Xander 'n me call her the 'don't touch me' freak." Giles angrily slammed the teakettle back down on the stove in response to his nephew's insult, but Spike was too enraptured with the pictures of the beautiful girl. Her smile was so genuine. He never saw her smile, but that was understandable since he didn't see her much. He frowned whenever he came across pictures of Buffy with her arms wrapped around some tall, 'broody-looking git with too much hair gel.' Discomfited at the jealous feelings the pictures incited, he closed the book and turned to his uncle, who was now sitting next to him, perusing the letter he'd brought. "So, what's up with the bloody letter?"
"It's a revision of your mother's will." Giles looked at his nephew, astonishment evident in his expression. "She, er, wanted me to have custody of you. It says here that she felt Rick wasn't capable of taking care of you. Said he was too abusive. Is that true?" Giles took off his glasses and contemplated the boy with bewilderment. Spike looked away quickly, embarrassed by the question.
"Maybe, but it's only when he's drunk. And ever since Mum died, he's been drinkin' a lot more, but it's not his fault. He's just findin' a way to dull the pain."
Giles' voice got dead serious, as the thought of someone hurting his sister's son enraged him. "Yes, but if he hits you..."
Spike stood up abruptly and walked to the door, opening it. "I can take care of myself," he muttered, and the door slammed shut, rattling in its casing.
He was the closest thing she had to a best friend. She still hadn't made any friends among the students. She was leery of getting close to anyone her age. Buffy had been an object of curiosity during her first week of school, and people had approached her, but she remained quiet and aloof, and eventually she was labeled as an 'odd-fish'. Once, when a boy tried to flirt with her, she became very agitated, and he'd backed away, muttering, "That chit's not batting on a full wicket." Buffy had no idea what that meant, but as long as it kept people away, it sounded fine to her.
Rupert Giles and Joyce Summers were becoming friends with each other as well, often having tea in each other's respective apartments. Buffy's lack of friends was a subject she and Giles discussed frequently. Joyce Summers worried about her daughter, and noticed that Buffy was sociable only when she was with her or Giles, but she kept others away at arms' length. Joyce had been incensed when Buffy told her about Mrs. Slander, and she'd called the school to complain. Unfortunately, the woman had been working at that institution for so long, she'd become a fixture, and they wouldn't fire her. Joyce decided she would find a real therapist for Buffy, so she could start healing, and open up to people again.
About a month after the Summers women had settled into their new life, Joyce was asked by her boss to look at some paintings by an artist in Wales. She wouldn't be able to bring Buffy along since she'd have to miss school, and she thought perhaps Giles wouldn't mind keeping an eye on her daughter for her. She dialed his number from her office. After three rings, Giles picked up the phone.
"Rupert, this is Joyce. Listen, I have to go out of town for a few days, and I was wondering if you might be able to look after Buffy-"
"Of course, I'd be happy to, Joyce. I have a spare bedroom my nephew William sometimes uses. He hasn't been over for a while, so she could stay in there, if you'd rather she wasn't alone at your place." Giles offered.
"Oh, thank you so much, that would be wonderful. I hate to impose on you like this, but when I get back, I'll take us all out for a nice meal as a 'thank you', how's that?" suggested Joyce, grateful for her neighbor's help. "Maybe if Buffy feels up to meeting him, William could come along."
"Not at all, it'll be my pleasure," Giles reassured her. "I don't know about William, though, he tends to prefer to be with his friends more than with his old uncle." He wasn't sure Buffy was ready to meet his nephew. Will was a force to be reckoned with, and although Giles didn't know the specifics, he'd guessed that Buffy had been severely traumatized somehow, and he thought meeting his volatile nephew might be too much for at this point. He'd mentioned that his nephew attended school with her, but she hadn't seemed interested, so he'd dropped the subject. The girl was becoming like a daughter to him, and he was only too glad to help make her feel safe.
That evening, Giles opened his door and greeted Buffy warmly.
"Thanks Giles for letting me crash here. Mom has to go pick up this expensive painting in some town I can't pronounce." Buffy quipped as she entered the apartment, lugging an overnight bag with her. Giles marveled at how relaxed she could be around him. She was almost a different person; confident, smart, and cheerful. He hoped someday she could overcome her fears and be that way around others.
"Planning on doing some homework tonight?" asked Giles with mock-severity.
Buffy rolled her eyes and stated in a voice laced with humor, "And that is what I get for living down the hall from a teacher. Is everything about work and school with you?"
He huffed, "Yes, and what else do you suppose there is to do?"
She giggled, "Plenty! I'm going down to the pool. I haven't gone swimming in over two days with all the tests I've been studying for. I need a break." She added, "I'll be gone for about thirty minutes. Just enough time for you to cook us a great meal." She smiled and laughed, and headed towards the spare room to change. A few minutes later, she bounded out the door with a wave, clad in a big t-shirt, baggy sweatpants and flip-flops carrying her bathing suit wrapped in a towel. Giles headed to the kitchen to check and to make sure he had more than one frozen dinner, when his phone rang.
"Who could that be?" he wondered aloud as he picked up the receiver. When he heard his nephew's voice on the line, he berated himself inwardly. 'Blast! I forgot William was coming over for dinner tonight! Can't cancel on him now, the poor boy doesn't get enough to eat in his own home,' he mused. His nephew was downstairs, and there was no way to warn Buffy there would be a strange boy joining them that evening. Giles felt relieved when the boy told him he was going to his friend, Xander's apartment first. Perhaps he'd have enough time to prepare Buffy then.
Buffy tore off her clothes and dived into the water, cutting through it like a knife. She'd been swimming for ten minutes or so, when two boys entered the pool area. She recognized the dark-haired boy from that first day, as well as from school. The boy with the bleached blond hair she had seen at school as well, but she hadn't seen him in the apartment building before. They often hung out together, and she didn't know their real names, but she'd heard them refer to each other as 'the Whelp' and 'Spike'. They sometimes gave her a hard time at school; no doubt 'the Whelp' had told 'Spike' about her skittish behavior; but other times they ignored her. She preferred it when they ignored her, and didn't call out names like, 'freaky bint' at her. Buffy swam to the ladder and climbed out; too scared to be alone with them in the pool area. She hurriedly donned her t-shirt and sweatpants, not bothering to dry off when she saw them walking towards her.
"Hello," Buffy heard 'the Whelp' say. She just shrugged it off as if she hadn't heard him, and walked by the two boys, taking care to avoid looking at them.
The blond boy called after her, "S'not very nice to ignore a bloke when he says hello to you."
She turned around and quickly said, "Hi," meaning to walk away again, but she stood frozen as 'the Whelp' walked over to her.
"I'm Xander. That's my friend Spike, over there." He gestured to the other boy, who joined him. She stared at them, wondering what they were going to do. 'The Whelp,' or Xander, stared back noticing the fear in her eyes.
"Uh, listen, I know we got off on the wrong foot before..." He moved closer to her trying to prove that he was friendly but she moved back just as fast, and turned to go. The other boy came up from behind her and put his hands on her shoulders to stop her.
"Don't!" she cried. The boys exchanged puzzled glances. She pulled away and headed for the exit.
Spike jumped in front of the door and said, "What's your problem?"
Buffy felt Xander come up behind her and she suddenly felt sandwiched. The boys weren't even touching her, but they were too close.
"Please just get out of my way?" she asked, her voice pleading. She reached for the door handle, but Spike grabbed her wrist. He was strong. She closed her eyes trying to keep the tears that formed from falling. "Let me go!" Buffy stared into his eyes and begged, "Don't hurt me."
Spike was startled by her escalating distress, and let go of Buffy's wrist. Once free she slipped past him and bolted out the door.
"She must be a lesbian," Xander quipped as she disappeared once again.
Buffy reentered Giles' apartment using the key he had lent her. Her host didn't hear her come in; having gone to change his shirt after spilling marinara sauce all over the one he'd been wearing. Buffy headed straight for the bathroom to take a shower. As she slowly shed her clothes she looked at her reflection in the mirror. She frowned at what she saw.
"What happened to me?" she whispered while wrapping her arms protectively around her body. She used to take such pride in her wavy golden hair, but she had stopped dyeing it shortly after the rape. Now, her hair hung limply over her shoulders, back to its natural dark brown color. Her breasts, which hadn't been big to begin with, were even smaller from all the weight she had lost. Her stomach was so thin that it looked concave and her ribs poked out. Buffy's eyes were sunk back into her head, dark rims circling them and her once tanned skin was now a pale white.
Stepping into the shower she whispered to herself, "Who am I anymore?"
Once she was finished with the shower, she dried off with her towel, and went to put on her t-shirt. Unfortunately, it was soaked from having worn it right after getting out of the pool, as were the sweatpants, so she wrapped the towel around her body instead, and stepped into the hallway, heading for her room.
When she opened the door, she was flabbergasted to find Spike standing in the middle of the room, tugging a black t-shirt on. She let out a shriek, and backed up when he looked at her, startled.
"Uncle Rupes," he called out. "Why is there a girl in your flat, wearing a towel?" Buffy clasped the towel tightly to her body, turning beet red, as he stared at her. Raising an eyebrow, he inquired, "Better yet, love, why don't you tell me why you're here?"
Buffy opened her mouth to speak, when Giles came out of his room to see what the noise was about.
"Oh -as they say- dear," he muttered as he took in the scene before him.
"Something you're not telling me, Rupes?" Spike smirked at his uncle.
"Buffy, I'm terribly sorry. I completely forgot that my nephew was coming to dinner tonight," Giles explained, feeling like a complete ponce.
Buffy looked up at Giles, and murmured incredulously, "He's your nephew?" At that, Spike let out a bark of laughter, but wiped the smirk from his face when Giles gave him a warning glare.
"Er, yes. I had mentioned him before, but-" Giles cut off when he saw Buffy was standing around in a ruddy towel and shivering. "Buffy why don't you go ahead and change, and Spike can help me with dinner." he suggested, giving Spike a meaningful look.
"Uh, yeah, I'll just get out of your way then, pet," Spike mumbled as he walked past Buffy, who was giving him a wide berth.
"Are you all right, dear?" Giles asked as he turned to leave.
"Yeah, fine. Just peachy." Buffy answered softly, and she closed the bedroom door.
Once Giles reached the living room, he glared at William, who was giving him an appraising look.
"New girlfriend there, Rupes?" he asked snidely. "Didn't think you were into that kind of thing."
"Very funny, Will." Replied Giles with exasperation. "She's the daughter of my new neighbor who had to go out of town for a few days. She asked if Buffy could stay here so she wouldn't be alone. Please don't give her a hard time; she's very sensitive, if you hadn't noticed."
"Yeah, couldn't help but notice that," Spike noted. "What's wrong with her?"
"I don't know, nor is it any of our business," retorted Giles as he strode to the kitchen to get dinner ready. "She's just shy, I suppose," he offered lamely.
Spike snorted at that summation, but held back his comment when he heard Buffy approaching. He turned around to see her walking with her head down; she wore long black sweatpants and a monster size sweatshirt. Giles brought the serving dish full of pasta to the table, and the three of them sat down.
The meal progressed in silence. Buffy was over her initial shock of seeing Spike and having him see her in a towel, but the scene in the pool room still unnerved her. Buffy eventually became tired of the tense, quiet atmosphere, and decided to be brave,
"So you two are related?" Buffy felt like an idiot as soon as she asked the question. 'Duh, Buffy!' she thought as she slapped herself mentally. 'Obvious much?'
Spike snorted, "Not by choice, right Uncle Rupes?" Buffy blanched at the nasty tone of his voice, indignant that he should say something so unkind to her friend. Giles opened his mouth to reply to Spike's barb when the phone rang.
"Excuse me." Giles rose from his seat to answer the phone in the kitchen, which left an uncomfortable silence between the two teenagers.
"Why are you so mean to your Uncle?" Buffy her emerald eyes flashing.
The blonde rolled his eyes, "I am not mean, pet. He's just my sodding uncle on my mum's side. We never cared to see each other much until after she died, and now he's trying to relieve the guilt."
Buffy looked down at her plate, embarrassed. "I'm sorry about your Mom." Losing a little more of her fear, she met his eyes. "But Giles is a great person. He's been a really good friend to my mom and me since we got here." She started to play with the food on her plate when he just stared back at her and frowned.
Spike watched her fingers fiddle with the frayed collar of her shirt. He got a glimpse of a large scar just below her collarbone.
"Where'd you get the nasty scar?" he asked before he could think.
Startled, she pulled the collar over the scar; one of her many souvenirs from Angel. She searched frantically for a response, "It's just something that happened ...I don't want to talk about it." Her eyes got watery and she closed them tightly. He watched her intently and his mind registered the pain on her face when she answered. He thought it would be better for them both if he just shut up.
Her small appetite had disappeared, and she stood up, taking her plate to the kitchen. While scraping her food into the garbage she said, "Tell Giles I'm going to take a walk. I'll just keep to the playground behind the building. I won't be gone long."
Spike watched her, feeling puzzled as she left the apartment.
'I just had to get out of there,' Buffy thought as she stepped outside in the evening air. 'Too many questions being asked.' It was dusk outside, and Buffy looked up, wanting to see the stars, but the London city lights had snuffed them out. Buffy ambled over to the playground, and sat down on a swing. Memories invaded her brain, bringing her back to when she was a little girl and her dad would push her back and forth on the swing set. They had been such good chums, but as she got older, he spent less and less time with her. He became so involved with his business and his secretary, that he neglected his child. Buffy had always wondered if she could have done something to make him stay. If she had just studied a little harder, maybe she could have made him love her more. She lost a piece of herself when he finally left the family. His abandonment of her had made her much too eager to hang onto boyfriends. She had completely loved and depended on Angel. She'd been blind to his arrogance, and as a result, he'd taken her innocence.
When she came back inside, she found Giles sitting on the sofa, reading a book. Giles turned when he heard the door. "Oh, hello," he greeted cheerily. "Will told me you'd gone outside. It's better to stick to the playground like you'd said, but try not to make a habit of going out at night, eh?"
Buffy nodded. Looking around, she noticed that Giles was alone. "Where'd Spike go?"
"Spike?" Giles looked puzzled for a moment. "Oh, yes, that's what he calls himself isn't it? He went down to his friend's apartment. A fellow named Xander. Have you met him?"
"Yeah, kind of," she replied as a big yawn overtook her.
"I'm really very sorry about earlier," Giles offered, closing his book and standing up to face her. "I'd forgotten that tonight was his night to come over. I hope you're not too upset about that earlier, uh episode..." Giles trailed off awkwardly.
"No," Buffy assured him. "Don't worry about it. I'll be fine." A sudden thought occurred to her. "Is he staying here tonight? I hate to kick him out. Maybe I should just go back to my apartment-"
"No, please, Buffy I assure you it's fine. He's probably going to stay at Xander's tonight if he doesn't go home." Gently placing a hand on the girl's shoulder he said, "You look very tired. Why don't you get some sleep then? Don't worry about Spike, he'll be all right."
"Good plan." she replied. To her own astonishment as well as Giles', she put her arms around him, giving him a timid little hug. "You're a good friend, Giles, you know that? Thanks for everything." With that, she headed for the spare room, leaving a bemused and very touched librarian in her wake.
She crashed into bed, willing sleep to come and grant her some peace. 'I need just one good night of sleep. One night of not thinking of Angel. Just one good night...' Buffy soon drifted into the land of Nod, but was awoken a short time later by a knock at the door. She raised her weary head and called out, "Yeah?"
Giles' voice answered back, "It's your mother. She's on the phone and she wants to talk to you." Buffy got out of bed and quickly opened the door and to grab the cordless phone from Giles. He turned to give her some privacy, but she caught his arm, and indicated it would be a short call. He felt a little intrusive, listening to her conversation, but if she didn't mind, he supposed it was all right.
"Hey Mom. No, I was just getting ready for bed. No, no I'm okay. Well, okay as I will ever get when I dream about him." She glanced at Giles self- consciously. "I promise if I can't sleep I will take my pills. Yes, I have them. No, I haven't taken one yet...MOM. I will take my pills if I need them. But I want to see if I can sleep one night without dreaming of Angel." Buffy winced, not having intended to mention his name in front of Giles. She hoped he would let it slide. "Yes, I love you too. I promise if I can't go to sleep, I will take some. Okay. Be careful. I love you. See ya." She hit the 'off' button and handed the phone back to Giles.
Giles looked at the girl curiously. "You're dreaming of angels?" he asked. "Doesn't sound so bad."
"Uh, no Angel is a person, a guy I knew, well, I thought I did anyway..." Buffy swallowed and looked away. Desperately trying to cover her slip of the tongue, she put on a false smile and looked up at her friend. "Thanks for dinner. It was good. Extra yummy," she told him brightly.
He nodded in acknowledgement and turned to go, but stopped and turned back to regard her with concern. "You know you can talk to me about anything, don't you?"
Buffy looked down at her feet. "Yes. But this anything is very old news. Angel is old news." Giles nodded again, letting the subject drop and walked back to the living room. Buffy turned to go back into her room and said softly, "Old news that haunts my life." She closed the door and crawled under the covers once again. She found sleep as her head hit the pillow, but an instant later her eyes were wide open when she felt a presence in the room with her.
"Don't think I forgot you, Buffy," intoned a voice from the corner of the darkened bedroom. She tried to scream or move, but she was paralyzed with fear. "You worry me sometimes, Buff. Some days I think you've forgotten me–the one who made you." Buffy drew the covers over her head to protect herself from this hallucination, but the voice seemed to have come closer to her. "You can't hide from me. I am everywhere you go. I will come and get you. You wait and see. I'll be back for you. We are meant to be together, Buffy," he whispered in her ear.
Loud screams woke her, and it wasn't until she sat up and opened her eyes that she realized the screams were her own. The door crashed open, and Giles came running in and pulled her into a protective embrace in an attempt to calm the hysterical girl.
"Buffy, what happened, dear? Shh, it's all right, you're safe," Giles stroked her hair, and rocked her gently.
"He-he's out, out of jail. He-he got out," she told him through her sobs.
"Who? Who got out? Did you have a nightmare?" Buffy pulled away from him and shook her head.
Giles sighed, "It's all right, you don't have to tell me. You mentioned some pills, earlier, to help you sleep?" Buffy nodded again.
"They're in my overnight bag,"
Giles stood up from the bed and found the pills for her. "I'll be right back with some water," he said, and left the room. He returned shortly, with a glass full of water, and two pills. Buffy took the glass and the tablets and swallowed them reluctantly. "There, do you feel any better?" Buffy shrugged in response. "I'll let you get back to sleep then." Giles hugged her once more, and turned to leave the room.
"Don't leave me!" she cried.
Giles spun around, floored by her desperate tone, then he gathered his wits and pulled up a chair beside her bed taking hold of her hand. "Do you want to tell me about it?"
Buffy nodded and took a deep breath, needing to release her burden. "Angel was my boyfriend. We'd been together for almost a year. He wanted us to sleep together, but I told him I wasn't ready." She stared at the hand Giles was holding, pulling strength from his reassurance. She continued, "I d-didn't see him for a few days after that. He'd gotten kind of angry at me. Then he called and asked me to go to this party with him. He started drinking as soon as we got there. Later on, he told me he wanted to talk outside where it was quiet, and I went with him." Her painful regret resounded in Giles' ears. "He started kissing me, and he was getting kind of rough, and I told him to stop, but he pulled me down to the ground. I t- tried to get away, but he was too s-strong." Buffy let out a strangled sob. "Angel ra-raped me. He hit me again and again. I was so scared he was gonna kill me afterwards, but someone came outside then, and pulled him off of me and took me to a hospital. I almost went into a coma, 'cause Angel had banged my head on the ground so hard."
As he listened to her story, Giles tightened his jaw in anger. He wanted very much to kill the man who had so damaged this girl he'd come to think of as a daughter. The reasons for her fearful behavior since she arrived became clear to him, and he berated himself silently for not understanding her much earlier.
"My dear, I don't know what to say." he offered. "I'm terribly sorry that this happened to you."
"Do you think it was my fault?" her voice cracked, and she looked at him, her eyes wet with tears. Giles immediately countered, "No, absolutely not. Is that what that Slander woman told you?" He felt the rage build inside when she nodded in confirmation. He pushed it back down, determined to offer Buffy comfort. "Never you mind what she said. It wasn't your fault. The blame lies with your assailant. I only hope he's paying dearly for what he did to you."
"He's in jail. But I had a nightmare that he got out," Buffy murmured.
"Well, don't worry then. It was just a dream. He can't hurt you now. Not if I have anything to say about it." Giles assured her.
Buffy smiled, grateful for his kindness. "Will-will you stay with me until I go to sleep?" she asked in a sheepish voice.
"Of course," he replied. She smiled wanly, and lay back onto the bed and closed her eyes. Giles stayed and watched her until he was sure she'd fallen asleep, then left the room wearily to head to his own bed, and a troubled sleep.
Two days later found Joyce sitting on Giles' sofa with a homemade scrapbook in her hand. "Thank you again, Rupert for watching over my baby," Joyce told him gratefully. "Buffy said she'd told you about what happened to her." Giles nodded his solemnly. Joyce continued with a sigh, "I know that you two are close and I don't know if this is going beyond the bounds, but I worry about her so much. She isn't at all the girl she used to be," She handed him the photograph album and he peered at the page she had opened it to. Seeing a photograph of a smiling, blonde-haired girl standing next to a tall, dark-haired man he asked, "Who is this girl?"
"That's Buffy." Joyce replied. "It was taken about six months ago. It was her birthday. That man standing with his arm around her, that's- that's Angel." Joyce grimaced when she said the hated name. Giles looked at the picture again, studying it more closely. The girl's hair was dyed a golden blonde, and hung around her face in waves. Her skin was a healthy golden pallor, and her cheeks still held a little baby fat. The bright, green eyes twinkled mischievously. Giles marveled at the difference between the cheerful, innocent girl who smiled up at him from the picture and the quiet, fearful girl whose gaunt face reflected the pain of innocence lost.
"What happened to her?" he asked in a hushed voice.
His neighbor sighed regretfully. "After what Angel did to her, she stopped eating. And then she stopped dyeing her hair. She stopped wearing her old clothes. She just stopped everything it seems. Superficial things, but I couldn't find a trace of my baby girl for a long time. Coming here has helped, but you've done wonders for her. I can't thank you enough for that, Rupert." Joyce's eyes shone with gratitude. Giles smiled, and opened his mouth to reply, when they heard a knock at the door, and Spike let himself inside.
"Oh, William. Have you been at Xander's all this time?" Giles inquired. Spike nodded, eyeing the older woman on the couch. "William, this is Joyce Summers, Buffy's mother. Joyce, this is my nephew, William." Joyce smiled at the teenager, and to Giles' astonishment, Spike tilted his head, silently regarding her then greeted her politely.
"Hello, love. Welcome to the neighborhood."
"It's very nice to meet, you William," she replied, standing up to take her leave. "I should get going though. Thanks again, Rupert. Hope to see you again sometime, William." Joyce picked up her purse and Spike held the door open for her, watching her exit. Closing the door, he turned to look at his uncle, who was holding an open scrapbook in his lap.
"Whatcha got there, Rupes?" questioned the young man, as he took the book from Giles.
"Oh, Joyce forgot her scrapbook," Giles explained. "Well, I can give it back later, I suppose. It's actually Buffy's." Giles headed to the kitchen to heat up the teakettle. "Would you like some tea, Will?"
Spike flipped through the pages, looking at the pretty blonde whose image graced them. "No thanks. Da' wanted me to bring this over." Spike shut the book and reached into his back pocket. He held out a dog-eared envelope to his uncle, who had his hands full preparing tea. "It's some kind of official letter. He yelled some bloody incoherent things at me and sent me on my way, the stupid git." Spike put the letter down on the end table and sat down, looking through the scrapbook again. "This is Buffy? The skinny chit who was in your flat yesterday wearing a towel? Looks like a completely different person." Spike smirked. "Xander 'n me call her the 'don't touch me' freak." Giles angrily slammed the teakettle back down on the stove in response to his nephew's insult, but Spike was too enraptured with the pictures of the beautiful girl. Her smile was so genuine. He never saw her smile, but that was understandable since he didn't see her much. He frowned whenever he came across pictures of Buffy with her arms wrapped around some tall, 'broody-looking git with too much hair gel.' Discomfited at the jealous feelings the pictures incited, he closed the book and turned to his uncle, who was now sitting next to him, perusing the letter he'd brought. "So, what's up with the bloody letter?"
"It's a revision of your mother's will." Giles looked at his nephew, astonishment evident in his expression. "She, er, wanted me to have custody of you. It says here that she felt Rick wasn't capable of taking care of you. Said he was too abusive. Is that true?" Giles took off his glasses and contemplated the boy with bewilderment. Spike looked away quickly, embarrassed by the question.
"Maybe, but it's only when he's drunk. And ever since Mum died, he's been drinkin' a lot more, but it's not his fault. He's just findin' a way to dull the pain."
Giles' voice got dead serious, as the thought of someone hurting his sister's son enraged him. "Yes, but if he hits you..."
Spike stood up abruptly and walked to the door, opening it. "I can take care of myself," he muttered, and the door slammed shut, rattling in its casing.