9-6
A/N: Tajeri Lynn, you know the rest, is rested and ready for action with Chapter Cinco of the adventuresome "Say Uncle". Kids WB possesses JCA, as does Sony and Jackie Chan himself. I must state this disclaimer over and over again in return for the chance to send this fic for all amigos to see.
The heat kills anyone here in Cally. Ants start crawling all over the house. Cats are meowing restlessly around the front porch left and right. No new ECW videos come around until September 10th. And everyone's gone to college save Extremo Luchadore. Must....keep...writing....
10-1
Well, college is packed with more homework than ever. Lots of papers have to be written by the end of this year. When I want to write something, I didn't mean reports...but ah, well. Tajeri Lynn really needs some help whenever he can.
Ice-chan, I ACCEPT your offer of help with writing whenever you're available.
10-20
I am absolutely taking forever trying to sort this out.
10-23
Good gosh, how long's it been?! Already I've received my ECW videos and still nothing big worthy of an update on the Say Uncle thingy....ARGH! Well, by tomorrow, this'll most likely be finished. After that, ANOTHER LONG PERIOD! This reminds me of another fanfic writer (who shall not be blighted by having name revealed) who takes way over a month or longer to update a series. Well, I'm joining the club.....
10-25
No, not again! All I'll say is that I'm posting this as a sneak preview. Enjoy, fans!
Say Uncle
Chapter 5: A Matter of Sane
Kenzo Yokanawa was peering in the tall, eerily shaped temple in Asia. He had hated everything here. But hate wasn't the beginning of it. This temple bore him not the mercy of air conditioning, as wisps of smoke came rubbing by his nose without any scent of perfume. There also lied pools of bewildering liquids streaming from a high spiral column at the center of the temple. The liquids shone an emerald glow which painted the faces of every human being standing in patience. Kenzo hated this glow; it reminded him of how he missed the green of money, and how much one was willing to hold still for it, while the other, a scraggly old man with alternating gray and emerald eyes, crouched above the column as if in meditation.
"So when's Martindale coming back?" Kenzo asked the crouching old man, begging his superior to speak up, for once.
"Do not ask me questions for which you have the answers," the old man spoke in a rasp.
"I don't trust her, is what it is. As if me and the animal-man weren't plenty enough, we hitched a bunch of hissies into our line!"
Daolan Wong watched the arrow-nosed ex-gangster with hooked angles on his yellowing eyes. "I understand nothing about your choice of descriptions. You should be aware of where your friends could be."
"Quite true, Master Wong," Vanessa peered from the shadows. "Our fellow Kenzo here hasn't learned what it means to remain quiet." She cracked a whip and Kenzo's glasses flung up into the air. The mobster's hands swished aimlessly to catch them, but Vanessa lashed the whip again and in seconds the glasses were in her hands. "I may be carrying a bull whip, but don't you go prancing about me like I'm bull!
"Give me back my glasses!"
"You want them? Earn them!" She flung her hand into the air and Kenzo hopelessly swished everywhere. She in fact was still clutching the pair, but Kenzo was too near-sighted to figure that out.
"Stop at once!" rasped the old man. "I did not send you here to play games among us. The man behind Kirishima...you have...taken him?"
Kenzo tussled adamantly and childishly at Vanessa's hands, regaining his glasses and thrusting them to his face as if to lock his commodity from wary villains, even though he laid back beyond the horizons of good.
Vanessa sneered at Kenzo, and turned to reply back to Daolan Wong. "Kirishima, you ask? Right behind me." Vanessa spoke proudly as Kirishima had been tied left and right with a bunch of handcuffs. He was hopping all over the place distraughtly, and only a chi spell from Daolan Wong forced the maniac to delve below his level, literally, by sinking into a puddle on the floor that hardened, harder than even diamond. "Binding him was necessary. He grew rambunctious once the spell sent him here. He thought we were killing him."
"Is he dangerous?" the old man queried.
"Only in his words," Vanessa reassured him.
"Words can mean everything for some people. I know that better than anyone....." Finding a leisurely stroll fit for his decrepit form, Daolan Wong proceeded downwards below his ziggurat. "However, he would most likely not be such. Untie him. I must speak to Kirishima."
Kenzo growled. "We got the sword. Why get him now?"
"You should know what I'm capable of. I'm well prepared for what Kirshima is capable of. But first, I must see him," Daolan Wong smiled, baring his infamous yellowish teeth which Kenzo would always retreat his line of sight from.
With that, the iron cuffs withered down like bits of a butterfly's cocoon, tempering away to give rise to the marvelous being within. Daolan Wong's wonder metamorphosed into regret at seeing a less marvelous and rather overtly familiar persona staring at him with a brown shoe tapping the stone floors.
"The good chi wizard!?" Daolan Wong backed a few paces off until Vanessa prodded him a few paces forward. Superiors weren't supposed to move away if the lessers did not.
Vanessa eyed her master strangely. "You've seen this senior before? You've never even trekked half a globe in your entire life!"
"This wizard has followed my plans many times before, a rat to my side," he whispered, eyes peering to the side where Vanessa stood. "What strange luck that he be filled with the curse that Kirishima holds!"
Kenzo cocked a shotgun from a suitcase and spun it in a spiral to jam two red caps inside. "Then I say we off him! Less people to divide the treasure to!" SHOOM! "Ah!"
A blue spear of a wisp had shattered the arm into a million pieces. Kenzo groaned with a harsh gasp and nearly choked out from the sudden tinge of pain.
"Destroying him won't change how we divide the treasure you speak of," Daolan Wong spoke, his palm carrying a smoking jaw that closed shut into normal skin, a hint of irritancy lurking beneath his dark heart. "The old man may as yet be of some other use."
"What is going on here? What are you keeping me, Kirishima, master of a thousand blades, from? I am tired of not holding my blade. Give it back to me! Give me give me give me!"
"Exactly what sort of use? A fudged up alarm clock?" Kenzo spoke snidely to the side of the green and gray-eyed sorcerer.
Daolan Wong crept his way into the mastery.
"Kirishima, I am Daolan Wong, soon to be the master of all Asia. We came for your powerful sword, and are thankful that you have obeyed us without causing us much trouble." Daolan Wong waved his dying-yellow fingertips so they met each other sequentially. "However, we are worthy of having your great aid, and in return, you can regain the memory you wish, the memory of Kinto Kirishima."
"Great aid? You are mistaken! Mine is of Grraaand aid!" Kirishima pondered to a table and rose it up over his head, of which he fell crumpled to his knees. The stone table he attempted to carry threaten to level the senior, but blue wisps shot out from the dark chi wizard's hand and
"As you wish, Kirishima," Daolan Wong smiled. "But you must've grown weary from your day. Kenzo, lead Kirishima to that corner over there, where he will need rest for this night."
"I have no need of any resting!" Kirishima boomed. "I am a very fine warrior! You cheated me out of my test of strength with your magic. I'd summon my magic and you would see who, I, Kirishima, was destined to be!"
"He's difficult," Daolan Wong muttered solely to his and Vanessa's ear reach. "It would seem Kirishima's temper has conjoined itself with the old man's own. But not to worry." He cast a foggy spell towards Kirishima and grumbled what Kenzo dubbed "nonsense for old women". With that, Kirishima flopped to the floor with his limbs awkwardly positioned like those were vesitigial. "Fortunately," Daolan Wong smiled, "it appears that even the most lively of demonic forces can be naive to the power of Daolan Wong. Now, Kenzo, dispatch whatever power you have and take Kirishima away from my chamber. Seeing him will blight my concentration for the plans I hold for him."
Now Vanessa Barone began questioning her master's brand of logic. "That wrinkle-brain can't do without that sword of ours," she whispered behind Daolan Wong. "All I saw of him was a reckless fool who hacked and slashed distraughtly. That Indian vixen actually was able to stop him with those ninny gloves of hers. The cowardice in her! She must be so scared that she decided to stay in San Francisco!"
The indubitable living rubber gloves whapped the heel of Barone's leg, expressing resentment at that remark. Vanessa yanked a leather-covered heel that sent the gloves smacking the smudgey, algae-infested walls. Had it not been for their typically inanimate forms, these gloves would've echoed Wong's silent temple with raucous four-letters.
"Portia stayed?" Daolan Wong crept an eyebrow, at once feeling cautious by this turnaround of villainy itinerary. The gloves skittered to the safety behind Daolan Wong's wistful cloak.
"Naturally, so she said," Vanessa stared begrudgingly as Kenzo had reentered the main core of the temple. She wished the purple-coated Yokanawa gangster had turned a cat and gone to beauty sleep. "She's staying near Chinatown, figuring that no one's in need of her service. She doesn't have a record anyway, so she's leaving clean."
"She would not request any treasure? No reward?"
"Believe me, Daolan Wong, even I can't read what goes on in that woman's mind. Least she agrees that Mr. Kirishima is nothing but a pompous parasite to your plan!"
"Like the rest of your friends, Barone, you can not see the potential held by the good chi wizard. He owns power that is counterpart to my own, the power of light chi, while I own the dark chi. To own him is to be able to control what HE owns; the Ying to my Yang. I will finally harness both sides of chi, and I will truly conquer all the lands!"
"Are you out of your mind, Daolan Wong? The good chi wizard, as you call him, is under the curse of Kirishima. Kirishima isn't supposed to remember anything from his host," Vanessa officiously pointed out in her English air.
"So spoke the curse of Kirishima indeed," Wong twiddled his fingers. "But I sense the wizard's chi still living inside Kirishima. My counterpart is resisting the demon's power with his abundant supply of good chi. This may explain why Kirishima is twice as stubborn as before. Impressive, but at once foolish, for the old man's valuable memory persists to live....Hmmm...."
"What is it?"
"I sense a good chi spell, very strong one....Someone's attempting to trail a way to the good chi wizard!"
"From how far?"
"The land of the New World. He is without question in search of his master. I shall send in Gan, Ren and Chui against him."
"Perhaps I would commend that I follow along too, just in case the going gets ugly." Vanessa lashed her whip across the floor. If there was one thing she loathed to the end of time, it was her hands falling asleep with the bullwhip serving more like a rolled-up pillow.
Daolan Wong tapped a yellow-nailed index finger upon his crooked staff, contemplating the thought, before he dropped the wonderment and replied. "No, you are too widely known. It is best you stay under the shadows. I, Daolan Wong, am one of magic, not of strength. I will need help keeping the fortress from intruders while my guardians are away. Kirishima is too precious to abandon."
"And what of the treasure?" Kenzo looked around. Being the younger of the Yokanawas, he always feared what was to become of his rewards, for they were always inching towards him before getting cut off for good. "All this night, you've spoken more about the prune than the great treasure we've agreed to. You're sure this will give us exactly what we want?"
"Yes, it will. And you don't need to divide the treasure with me. If all goes well, Kirishima's power will be the only treasure I will care about."
"And Portia?"
"I entrust she will not rat on me. While she may be away from our sights, she shall not be far from my power. I know where she'll be and where any of you will be, so long as this treasure remains not taken." Daolan Wong walked up to his stairway, kneeling down in front of his glowing cauldron of mists until further stimulus arrived.
Kenzo stared at Vanessa from the corner of his right eye. "And what are you still doing here?"
"Coming up with a plan, in case none of us agree on the treasure. I personally suggest you do that as well, nerd!" Vanessa lashed a whip that sent Kenzo jumping 3 feet off the air, before she went off on her own ventures.
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"Jackie, we've got to get going!" Black called out to the door with a gentle rap, which was still not gentle enough to keep the Chan Man's name tag going one side sliding down to the corner.
A couple of locks and a gasping Jackie Chan emerged out of there. "Huff, hello, huff, Captain Black. Let us go, huff, wherever we must, huff, for Uncle's sake."
"Jackie, are you alright? You're sweating and hard for breathing. You didn't happen to do anything, well, not normal while you were in here, were you?"
"No, Black, I just had dreams, a lot of them."
"Oh," Black replied. When Jackie spoke of dreams, Black read that as a code name for "past nightmares." "Well, glad they were just dreams," he spoke out loud for Jade and Tohru to hear right at his back. "We better not be saying Uncle anytime soon, everybody. Jackie and I better leave the shop and head over to Section 13, where Jackie's sure to settle down better. Tohru, you might as well come with us."
"But why?" Tohru held out a hand, palm up, begging for an answer.
"Because without Uncle, you're as close to knowing this magic business than any of us," Jackie replied.
"Cool!" Jade burst out as she leapt onto T-Man's shoulder. "You know, if Tohru can't stay in the shop, then maybe-"
"No!" Jackie, Tohru, and Captain Black outburst into one godlike boom.
Jade frowned and slit her eyebrows in anger. "Hey, you goin' to leave me in the shop by myself? I'm not even old enough to handle my room!"
"Tohru's mother ought to get the job done," Captain Black commanded, and just at the moment the onion-headed matriarch of the sumo family stepped in. "Hello, Tohru's mother. Look, we're taking Tohru on an important mission, so we believe it's in the best of interests that you tend to the shop."
Tohru's mother spoke nothing, but trampled closer to the elite primer of Section 13. A jarring rumble and bang occurred all at once, as if a hammer from the heavens had slammed into a nail on the earth.
"OWCH! Argh! Grrr! For the love of-!" Black growled as he hopelessly grabbed at his left shoe and began dancing a true-blue flamingo dance, only to blue himself further by collapsing down across the rickety stairways, banging knees, head and tail end on the uneven settlements of wood.
"Bah!" Mama Tohru yelled down to the falling Captain. "What's this? Billy Goat not around, so now Bald Eagle pick on me? Shame on you!" She waved a finger as piercing a remark as a dart to the heart.
"Yiii-es!" Jade rose up her arms in triumph. "Mama T won't want to tend to the shop, so now-huh?"
"Bah, now what's this?! The little lamb think I can't handle stinky garbage pile while my son is out? Hmmph! Where you expect Tohru get his endurance from, CHILD?"
"Then, you'll be tending the shop, mommy?" Tohru asked, sheepishly.
Mama Tohru held her son lovingly with both sides of his cheeks. "Of course, Tohru. Maybe when you return, I make junk monger's shop look more of a shop than a hunka junk! You going to be so very happy when you come back."
"Um, please don't change too much, mommy. Sensei will be talking alot about the new changes."
"Ah, I know he will. He think change is bad, yet he is exception! Can't change his junk, can't change his hair, and-" she sniffed up at the ceiling, "Can't change garlic smell. Whoo-ee! Need smell of fresh-baked bread or something. Good think I brought my shower gel with strawberry seeds," Mama Tohru commented as she fished inside her purse, about the same size as her own head.
"Whoa, whoa! Too much information there!" shouted Black from somewhere below the staircase. Tohru, Jade and Jackie dropped their jaws as a vicious Mama T balanced herself off the steps and screamed "Aiiee!!" as she splashed against a particular target.
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Back at Section 13, Johanovich Kepler, oversized goggles applied over his facade, was staring straight at the burnt wiring on his outcrop of laboratory machines, when he heard Black, Tohru and Jackie enter through the doorway. Kepler pinpointed a certain abnormality in his superior's physicality.
"I conjecture you'll require a remedy for your visual implements, Black?"
"Quiet, Kepler, and get me a bag of ice! I have no need for S.A.T.s!"
To Be Continued...
A/N: No, you don't have to say that. Shower gel with strawberry seeds feels weird. Yeah, I know.