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Chapter 5
Jane was expecting to be having fun that night. Since she didn't start college at BFAC until the spring semester, she hadn't seen a lot of Daria lately. The only contact they had with each other in a month had been over the phone. Tonight, though, she made the trip up to Boston to see Daria, catch up on things, and maybe go out for a pizza and make fun of the world's stupidity, as usual. She wasn't expecting to see Daria acting the way she was as she let herself into Daria's dorm room.
"Oh no," said Jane, closing the door behind her. "You're in your 'something's eating away at my soul' position again."
And indeed Daria was. She lay flopped out on her dorm room bed--the bottom bunk-- with her head hanging off the edge. "Nothing is eating away at my soul, thank you very much."
"I know what it is," Taryn called from the top bunk. "She's thinking about that Tom again."
"Again!? Daria, you've got to stop this."
She turned over onto her stomach and rested her head on her crossed arms. "I can't help it. I go to a department store, and it smells like the cologne he used to wear. I turn on the radio, and they're playing the love ballad we used to make fun of together. I eat a pizza, and I'm reminded of the good times we had at the Pizza King."
"Oh geez, he's even ruined pizza," sighed Jane.
"You know what you need to do?" said Taryn, eager to dispense advice. "You need to get back in the saddle again!"
"They shoot horses, don't they?" quipped Jane.
"I mean you should get back in the dating field. Find a great guy and you'll forget all about You-Know-Who."
"Why would I want to forget about Voldemort?" Daria tried to joke weakly.
Taryn rolled her eyes. "Look, I can set you up with some guys. It'll be fun!"
"Yeah," said Jane, getting into the idea. "And I can probably find a few guys for you too."
"Hm, let me think---no!" Daria said, turning away from them.
"Come on," said Jane. "It's been five months. Let us help you get over it."
Daria sighed, feeling too weak with depression to put up a fight. "You do realize that if you have me wear make-up, I will make you pay."
"Agreed," said Jane.
"My love life is in the hands of my best friend and my roommate. Be afraid. Be very afraid."
A week later, Tom was forced into a very similar decision.
"Alright! Alright! I'll go on a date!" Tom shouted. He shook his head. "You nag more than my mom."
"You know I have your best interests at heart, honey," said Carter in a squeaky falsetto. He grinned at Tom. "Alright! Now all we need to do is find a girl!" He grabbed an address book and flipped through it. "Now let's see…. Elizabeth's nice… so's Niki…"
"Oh no. No, no, no. No blind dates." Tom grabbed the address book away from Carter.
"Dude, are you really up to finding a girl on your own right now?" he pointed out.
Tom thought a moment, then sighed and handed the book back to him. "I guess not."
Carter went back to flipping through the address book. "Hm, this will take more work than I thought."
'You're telling me, dude!' thought Cupid. He stood invisible in the back corner of Tom and Carter's dorm room, shaking his head. It was fine that Daria and Tom were going to date again, but he wished that their friends weren't so involved. Cupid had been planning on setting them up with their worst possible matches, and that would be harder to do with outside influences trying to make the dates a success. It would take a lot of extra planning and manipulation to get the friends to set Tom and Daria up with the wrong people.
'But then again, I've got killer technology, so I can handle it!' Cupid patted his bag of gadgets. 'Now to find the anti-perfect dates for Daria and Tom.' He grabbed a handheld computer from his bag. 'Ok, Passion-Pilot,' he thought as he grinned. 'Do your worst!'