Spike wasn't at school the next day, and neither was Giles. A substitute
teacher was overseeing the library, and Buffy felt at a loss. She didn't
know if she should approach his friends, and ask about him. After all, she
didn't really know them well, and even though she met with Tara after
school, when she'd casually asked her where Spike was, Tara really didn't
seem to know.
Giles remained absent for two more days, but Spike did return to school having missed only one day. His face was less swollen, and he sported a bandage over his cut cheek. He didn't speak to anyone outside of his circle of friends, and during the tutoring session, Buffy found him closed off and indifferent to their discussion on Picasso's Blue Period. At ten minutes to five, when the lesson would be over, she told them of an idea she had that might help them.
"I was thinking that maybe you guys would want to take a trip to The British Museum tomorrow instead of working in here. They're showing a special exhibition of Picasso's work, so it fits right in with what we're working on, plus my Mom works there, and she can give us the tour." Buffy paused, waiting for an affirmative response from Spike and Tara. Tara looked interested, but she told Buffy she had dance class after school tomorrow and couldn't go. "Well, maybe if Spike can go tomorrow with me, you and I can go another time," Buffy suggested. "My Mom could be a real big help. She used to own a gallery back home, and as soon as she can find a space, she's going to open up one here," Buffy beamed proudly, thinking of her strong, resourceful mother.
"That sounds good to me," said Tara. "I'll let you know when I'm free." Buffy nodded, and looked at Spike. He seemed lost in thought, and when Tara nudged him, he started.
"Yeah, I can meet you there around half three," he said. "Got to run off now, though, sorry." Spike picked up his duster and bag, and left the room. The two girls looked at each other, startled by his abrupt departure.
"So, Spike looks a little worse for wear," Buffy commented awkwardly to Tara.
"Yeah. I don't know what happened." The blond girl replied. "He hasn't said much, but-" Tara cut herself off suddenly. She stood, realizing she shouldn't say anything. Tara wasn't terribly close to Spike, having transferred to the school only a few months before Buffy arrived. She'd made friends with Willow instantly, and had gotten to know the other members of their 'clan', but she wasn't a recipient of anyone's confidences except for Willow's. At first, she had felt very left out of the group's doings, even though she was always invited. However, she knew it would take time to really become thick with all of them, especially Spike. He was friendly and quick with a joke, but he rarely shared himself with anyone, and Tara suspected a deep-seated hurt was the cause. In any case, she had become friends with them all, and they all genuinely liked her in return.
Buffy, however, was feeling overly curious, and she prodded Tara to continue. Tara spoke haltingly. "Well, I don't know much, but I know this isn't the first time I've seen him looking like he'd been on the fat end of a baseball bat," she said, and chewed on her lip, as they made their way to the school exit.
Buffy debated whether or not to reveal what she'd heard at his house, and the events that followed. Before she could reach a decision, though, Tara asked Buffy which way she was headed.
"Oh, I live over on Hyde Park Square," Buffy replied.
Tara, disappointed, told her "I'm going the opposite way, unfortunately. I was thinking maybe you'd like to come over for a little while, and my aunt could give you a ride home." Tara smiled at Buffy hopefully. She liked her, and she didn't understand why she hadn't made friends with anyone. She empathized with Buffy's shyness, and wanted to reach out to her.
Buffy felt uneasy. Her resolve to stay invisible had slowly been crumbling, and she liked Tara a lot. She was easy to talk to and had a warm, sincere quality that stirred something deep inside Buffy, making her long for the companionship of a girl her age. The unwillingness to be vulnerable and risk the pain of betrayal that friendship sometimes brings held her back, however, and she hesitated before answering Tara, not wanting to hurt her feelings.
"I, uh, I don't think I can." Buffy stammered, unable to look the girl in the eye. "Thank you, though, for asking." She risked a glance at Tara, and saw her face fall in dismay.
"Oh, that's okay, I understand." Tara, hurt, started to turn away, but Buffy felt a stab of guilt and stopped her.
"Oh, Tara, please don't be hurt," she pleaded. "It's just–" Buffy broke off, unsure of what to say. "I've had some–some bad things–happen and, I–I'm not ready." Buffy heard herself whisper, "It just hurts too much."
Tara turned back around to face Buffy, her eyes still carried an injured look, but they also shone in sympathy. "Everyone's been hurt, Buffy, in one way or another." She took a few steps towards the brunette, who was now holding back tears. "People hurt each other, friends betray friends, and yes, it's painful." Tara gently placed her hand on Buffy's shoulder, and the girl tensed, but did not pull away. "But even though you go through bad times, you can find good, true friends who will stick by you no matter what. That's worth any kind of pain you have to go through. In the long run, you'll hurt yourself more by shutting people out."
"I guess," Buffy whispered. "But I had friends before. I thought they were my friends, but they didn't know me. They weren't there for me when I needed them." Buffy raised her tear-filled eyes to Tara's.
"And you thought maybe you just weren't good enough?" Tara asked in understanding. "I've been there. But it sounds like you just picked the wrong people to be friends with. That happens. I think you'll find though, that the world holds an inordinate amount of people, and they're all different. Not everyone will abandon you."
Buffy offered a shaky smile. "I'm sorry, Tara. Maybe someday I'll be ready to open up, but right now, I just want to hide." Tara nodded, accepting that her fear wouldn't dissipate overnight, just because she'd given her a pep talk.
"I know it'll take some time," she replied, letting her hand drop from Buffy's shoulder. "Whenever you're ready, just let us know. Me, Willow, Xander, we'd all love to get to know you." Tara grinned impishly. "I don't know about Oz, though. He's not all that communicative, but I think you'd like him."
Buffy didn't know what possessed her, but she stared down at her feet and asked shyly, "What about Spike? He keeps asking me questions." Tara giggled, and Buffy let out a small hiccup that sounded like a laugh.
"Well, Spike is Spike," she answered. "He's in a class by himself."
Buffy snorted and rolled her eyes. "I'll say."
Tara laughed. "I'm sure he has his reasons." She smiled, and bit back any further comment.
Buffy took a deep breath and smiled back at Tara. "Thanks, Tara. I–I hope I didn't offend you. I guess I just need time," she said, and Tara smiled sympathetically.
"That's okay, Buffy. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" Buffy nodded. A silent moment passed, and the girls finally said goodbye and parted ways.
As she slowly made her way home, Buffy thought over what Tara had said. She knew the girl was right; her mother was trying to encourage her, without pushing, to make new friends. Unfortunately, Buffy didn't know how to find the kind of friends she could count on. Giles was a unique connection. He was someone she and her mother instinctively trusted, and in the short amount of time they'd known him, he'd proved himself worthy of their esteem. Tara seemed like she would be a good person to have in her corner, and she'd liked Willow when she'd met her on her first day of school, but she couldn't bring herself to trust anyone. After all, she'd thought that the girls she'd grown up with were her bosom buddies, but the truth was that they didn't know any sort of loyalty. Their parents ran in the same circles and belonged to the same country club. It wasn't closeness, it was just a convenience. Buffy found this out the first day she'd come back to school following the rape. She'd been so distraught hearing all the whispers in the hallways that she'd hidden in a bathroom stall, crying. She'd hoped to run into Cordelia and Harmony, who had offered their support over the phone when she'd called them the night before. Having them flank her would have made her feel more up to the challenge of facing her schoolmates. When she heard them enter the bathroom, she jumped for joy, and prepared to exit the stall, until she heard what they were talking about so cattily.
"...I can't believe she's come back here," she heard Harmony say. "I wouldn't want to show my face if I were her."
"Well, just thank whatever higher power you believe in that you're not her." Cordelia replied. Buffy peered at them through the crack between the stall and the door. They were at the mirror, fixing their makeup and hair. "I mean, stupid much? Going to a secluded place with your drunk boyfriend, no matter how lunchable he is, just leads to a big, episode of badness." She capped her lipstick, tossed it into her makeup bag, and rummaged through it for her tweezers.
"Oh, uh yeah, totally," Harmony responded with unconvincing surety. "I would never do something so brainless." She blanched when she saw the disbelieving look Cordy was giving her.
"Harmony, please. Let's not get started, shall we?" Cordy rolled her eyes at her blond friend's discomfiture. "What I'm saying, is that Buffy is way too naïve for her own good. He's been cheating on her for the past month with some slut he goes to college with."
Harmony gasped, and dropped her hairbrush. "How do you know?"
"Because, duh, I was at a party up at UCLA and I saw him crawling all over this blond bimbo named Darla. He wasn't getting any from Buffy, which drove him crazy, so he had to get it somewhere." Cordy lowered her voice conspiratorially. "But I heard Darla dumped him when she found out about his high school sweetheart, and that really sent him over the edge of sanity."
Buffy squeezed her eyes shut, hoping she was having yet another nightmare, and she wasn't really hearing two of her friends discussing the most traumatic thing to ever happen to her so casually. Unfortunately, she was wide-awake, and she could only listen in secret as Cordy and Harmony's conversation continued.
"...anyway, he's also a total psycho. He did the same thing to another girl back when he was in high school." Buffy heard Cordy say.
"What, he cheated on another girlfriend?" Harmony could always be depended upon to ask stupid questions. Cordy sighed profoundly, and rolled her eyes to the heavens.
"Why me?" she pleaded with the cosmos. "No, 'brainy', he raped a girl in high school," Cordy whispered the dread word as if she was afraid of being struck by lightening. "Do I have to go all Lifetime TV for you?"
"Oh," breathed Harmony, wide-eyed. "So what happened?"
"I don't know. I guess it got all hushed up, since he was 'the big star' of Sunnydale." Cordy plopped all her make-up supplies back in her bag. "Of course, I only just heard about that after what happened with Buffy, or else I totally would have warned her off him." Harmony nodded in understanding.
"So what do we do? I so don't want to deal with all the crap she's gonna get from people," Harmony whined as she mimicked Cordy's primping in the mirror.
"Oh, neither do I," came the vehement reply. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I feel bad for her," Cordy emphasized her point with a hand over her heart. "But I just can't afford to have an 'object of negative curiosity' for a friend right now." She tossed her book bag over her shoulder and fluffed her mane of dark hair.
Buffy stood, silently weeping, as she realized the rest of her 'friends' would follow Cordelia's lead, and slowly but surely, cut her out of their lives. When she heard the two girls finally exit the bathroom, she let out a frustrated sob and left the stall. "I won't give them the chance to blow me off," she growled to her reflection. She stayed true to that resolution as she went through the rest of her time at Sunnydale High. In her classes, she bypassed her usual seats by the 'Cordettes' and she skipped lunch every day, choosing instead to munch on a piece of fruit in the art room while she pretended to work on a painting.
The experience had taught her a harsh, but valuable lesson: she could only really depend on herself. She had her mother, and she had Giles but they couldn't always be there for her. Taking a deep breath, she walked the rest of the way home, her memories making her determined to remain as solitary as possible.
The next afternoon, Buffy made her way to Spike's house, perplexed, and a little bit annoyed. She'd confirmed with him after class that day that they would meet at the museum at three-thirty. She'd arrived ten minutes early so she could have her mother come down and let them in for free. Joyce was pleased that Buffy was making an effort to spend time with kids her age after school, and Buffy didn't have the heart to remind her that the only reason she was doing so, was because of the tutoring. They'd waited about twenty minutes, since they thought perhaps Spike had gotten waylaid after his last class. After forty minutes of waiting, Buffy realized that Spike wasn't going to show up. Joyce had been very disappointed, and Buffy decided to stop by his house to see if he'd gone home instead of meeting her. She felt like she ought to give him a piece of her mind for ditching her, but a feeling in her gut told her that something was wrong.
When she got to his door, she suddenly felt uneasy. She couldn't explain why, except for the reason that she'd never been to his house before, and the time she'd dropped him off, there'd been an altercation. She pushed the button for the doorbell, but didn't hear a corresponding ring, so she rapped on the door and waited. No one called out or came to the door, so she knocked again, this time a little louder. No answer came, and her heart started to pound. Without thinking that she was intruding, she reached for the doorknob, and turned it; it was unlocked. Buffy tentatively pushed the door open, and stepped inside, not bothering to close it in case she needed to make a hasty exit.
"Spike?" she called out cautiously, looking around the foyer. As before, she didn't hear an answer, so she rounded a corner into what appeared to be the living room. It took a moment for her brain to process the state of disarray the room was in. Two chairs had been overturned, and a suitcase lay open on the floor, its contents scattered. A floor lamp lay on its side, the glass shade crushed. Behind the tattered sofa, Buffy spied an outstretched arm.
"Spike?" she whispered, stepping over the debris to see whose arm it was. She trembled, terrified of what she would find, and a hoarse cry escaped her throat when she saw Spike's prone and bruised form on the floor. He was unconscious, and bleeding from several places. His left arm lay at an awkward angle, as if it were broken.
"Oh my God, Spike!" she exclaimed, and ran over to crouch down beside him, unsure of what to do. At last, she felt for a pulse at his throat. She sobbed in relief when the strong beat of his heart registered through her fingers, and she shot up, her eyes frantically searching for a telephone. She spotted it across the room, and dashed over to pick up the receiver. In her panic, she froze, trying to remember Giles' home phone number. When the information finally revealed itself, she dialed, and anxiously waited for him to pick up. She prayed he was home. She didn't know where he was, since he hadn't shown up for school again today, and wasn't in his apartment when she'd stopped by the night before.
At length, he answered and she wildly informed him of her discovery. Giles didn't speak for a moment, and then she heard him say, "Bloody hell! Damn Rick, damn him!" Buffy jumped at the fury with which he uttered these words. "Don't move him, Buffy. Stay right there, I'll be over in an instant!" The line went dead, and Buffy rushed back over to Spike's side. Hesitatingly, she smoothed his matted curls away from his forehead, revealing a nasty gash. The blood in her veins jumped at the sight, but she continued to stroke his hair and uttered soothing nonsense to him. He'd flinched and groaned at the contact initially, but when she tenderly caressed his face, he leaned into her touch, and nuzzled her hand.
Buffy held back tears as she waited for Giles. For the moment, she'd forgotten all of her own fears and reservations, and concentrated on the insensible boy before her. She regretted not having said anything about the other night when he'd come to her door, battered and looking for Giles. She was certain his father had done this, and she blamed her own sense of self- preservation for keeping her silent. Buffy hadn't wanted to get involved, and if she had, Spike might not have gotten so hurt. Her vision started to blur, when she heard a noise at the front of the house, and her heart jumped to her throat. Had his father returned? She sagged with relief when she saw Giles enter the room.
"Over here," her voice was a low croak, but Giles heard, and hurried over. He took one look at Spike and the fury she'd perceived in his voice earlier was evident in his expression. He marched over to the phone, and called for an ambulance. When he hung up, he wearily walked back over to Buffy and Spike, and slowly knelt down next to them, taking off his glasses. Buffy had a million questions on her tongue, none of which she could give voice to. Giles didn't look at her, and didn't touch her; he stared at his nephew with tears in his eyes, muttering, "I'm sorry, William, I'm sorry," over and over.
When the ambulance arrived, and the paramedics hauled Spike into the vehicle on a stretcher, Giles turned to Buffy before climbing inside behind him.
"I think you should go home now, Buffy. I'm sure your mother's there by now, and she'll be wondering where you are."
Buffy felt disappointed that Giles didn't seem to want her to accompany them, but she understood. She nodded faintly, and turned to go, when she suddenly stopped, and ran back to her friend as he started to climb into the ambulance.
Grabbing his arm, she stared up into his face, her big green eyes shining with tears. "Could-could my mom and I come to the hospital later? I just want to make sure Spike's going to be okay." Giles smiled at his young friend, touched by her concern.
"I'm sure he'll be all right, Buffy. I'm not sure you'll be able to see him tonight, though. I'll call you when he's been examined, alright?" He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, and clambered into the waiting ambulance. Buffy watched them drive away until they disappeared around a corner, then turned and headed slowly toward home, angry at herself for letting her selfishness rule her.
Giles remained absent for two more days, but Spike did return to school having missed only one day. His face was less swollen, and he sported a bandage over his cut cheek. He didn't speak to anyone outside of his circle of friends, and during the tutoring session, Buffy found him closed off and indifferent to their discussion on Picasso's Blue Period. At ten minutes to five, when the lesson would be over, she told them of an idea she had that might help them.
"I was thinking that maybe you guys would want to take a trip to The British Museum tomorrow instead of working in here. They're showing a special exhibition of Picasso's work, so it fits right in with what we're working on, plus my Mom works there, and she can give us the tour." Buffy paused, waiting for an affirmative response from Spike and Tara. Tara looked interested, but she told Buffy she had dance class after school tomorrow and couldn't go. "Well, maybe if Spike can go tomorrow with me, you and I can go another time," Buffy suggested. "My Mom could be a real big help. She used to own a gallery back home, and as soon as she can find a space, she's going to open up one here," Buffy beamed proudly, thinking of her strong, resourceful mother.
"That sounds good to me," said Tara. "I'll let you know when I'm free." Buffy nodded, and looked at Spike. He seemed lost in thought, and when Tara nudged him, he started.
"Yeah, I can meet you there around half three," he said. "Got to run off now, though, sorry." Spike picked up his duster and bag, and left the room. The two girls looked at each other, startled by his abrupt departure.
"So, Spike looks a little worse for wear," Buffy commented awkwardly to Tara.
"Yeah. I don't know what happened." The blond girl replied. "He hasn't said much, but-" Tara cut herself off suddenly. She stood, realizing she shouldn't say anything. Tara wasn't terribly close to Spike, having transferred to the school only a few months before Buffy arrived. She'd made friends with Willow instantly, and had gotten to know the other members of their 'clan', but she wasn't a recipient of anyone's confidences except for Willow's. At first, she had felt very left out of the group's doings, even though she was always invited. However, she knew it would take time to really become thick with all of them, especially Spike. He was friendly and quick with a joke, but he rarely shared himself with anyone, and Tara suspected a deep-seated hurt was the cause. In any case, she had become friends with them all, and they all genuinely liked her in return.
Buffy, however, was feeling overly curious, and she prodded Tara to continue. Tara spoke haltingly. "Well, I don't know much, but I know this isn't the first time I've seen him looking like he'd been on the fat end of a baseball bat," she said, and chewed on her lip, as they made their way to the school exit.
Buffy debated whether or not to reveal what she'd heard at his house, and the events that followed. Before she could reach a decision, though, Tara asked Buffy which way she was headed.
"Oh, I live over on Hyde Park Square," Buffy replied.
Tara, disappointed, told her "I'm going the opposite way, unfortunately. I was thinking maybe you'd like to come over for a little while, and my aunt could give you a ride home." Tara smiled at Buffy hopefully. She liked her, and she didn't understand why she hadn't made friends with anyone. She empathized with Buffy's shyness, and wanted to reach out to her.
Buffy felt uneasy. Her resolve to stay invisible had slowly been crumbling, and she liked Tara a lot. She was easy to talk to and had a warm, sincere quality that stirred something deep inside Buffy, making her long for the companionship of a girl her age. The unwillingness to be vulnerable and risk the pain of betrayal that friendship sometimes brings held her back, however, and she hesitated before answering Tara, not wanting to hurt her feelings.
"I, uh, I don't think I can." Buffy stammered, unable to look the girl in the eye. "Thank you, though, for asking." She risked a glance at Tara, and saw her face fall in dismay.
"Oh, that's okay, I understand." Tara, hurt, started to turn away, but Buffy felt a stab of guilt and stopped her.
"Oh, Tara, please don't be hurt," she pleaded. "It's just–" Buffy broke off, unsure of what to say. "I've had some–some bad things–happen and, I–I'm not ready." Buffy heard herself whisper, "It just hurts too much."
Tara turned back around to face Buffy, her eyes still carried an injured look, but they also shone in sympathy. "Everyone's been hurt, Buffy, in one way or another." She took a few steps towards the brunette, who was now holding back tears. "People hurt each other, friends betray friends, and yes, it's painful." Tara gently placed her hand on Buffy's shoulder, and the girl tensed, but did not pull away. "But even though you go through bad times, you can find good, true friends who will stick by you no matter what. That's worth any kind of pain you have to go through. In the long run, you'll hurt yourself more by shutting people out."
"I guess," Buffy whispered. "But I had friends before. I thought they were my friends, but they didn't know me. They weren't there for me when I needed them." Buffy raised her tear-filled eyes to Tara's.
"And you thought maybe you just weren't good enough?" Tara asked in understanding. "I've been there. But it sounds like you just picked the wrong people to be friends with. That happens. I think you'll find though, that the world holds an inordinate amount of people, and they're all different. Not everyone will abandon you."
Buffy offered a shaky smile. "I'm sorry, Tara. Maybe someday I'll be ready to open up, but right now, I just want to hide." Tara nodded, accepting that her fear wouldn't dissipate overnight, just because she'd given her a pep talk.
"I know it'll take some time," she replied, letting her hand drop from Buffy's shoulder. "Whenever you're ready, just let us know. Me, Willow, Xander, we'd all love to get to know you." Tara grinned impishly. "I don't know about Oz, though. He's not all that communicative, but I think you'd like him."
Buffy didn't know what possessed her, but she stared down at her feet and asked shyly, "What about Spike? He keeps asking me questions." Tara giggled, and Buffy let out a small hiccup that sounded like a laugh.
"Well, Spike is Spike," she answered. "He's in a class by himself."
Buffy snorted and rolled her eyes. "I'll say."
Tara laughed. "I'm sure he has his reasons." She smiled, and bit back any further comment.
Buffy took a deep breath and smiled back at Tara. "Thanks, Tara. I–I hope I didn't offend you. I guess I just need time," she said, and Tara smiled sympathetically.
"That's okay, Buffy. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" Buffy nodded. A silent moment passed, and the girls finally said goodbye and parted ways.
As she slowly made her way home, Buffy thought over what Tara had said. She knew the girl was right; her mother was trying to encourage her, without pushing, to make new friends. Unfortunately, Buffy didn't know how to find the kind of friends she could count on. Giles was a unique connection. He was someone she and her mother instinctively trusted, and in the short amount of time they'd known him, he'd proved himself worthy of their esteem. Tara seemed like she would be a good person to have in her corner, and she'd liked Willow when she'd met her on her first day of school, but she couldn't bring herself to trust anyone. After all, she'd thought that the girls she'd grown up with were her bosom buddies, but the truth was that they didn't know any sort of loyalty. Their parents ran in the same circles and belonged to the same country club. It wasn't closeness, it was just a convenience. Buffy found this out the first day she'd come back to school following the rape. She'd been so distraught hearing all the whispers in the hallways that she'd hidden in a bathroom stall, crying. She'd hoped to run into Cordelia and Harmony, who had offered their support over the phone when she'd called them the night before. Having them flank her would have made her feel more up to the challenge of facing her schoolmates. When she heard them enter the bathroom, she jumped for joy, and prepared to exit the stall, until she heard what they were talking about so cattily.
"...I can't believe she's come back here," she heard Harmony say. "I wouldn't want to show my face if I were her."
"Well, just thank whatever higher power you believe in that you're not her." Cordelia replied. Buffy peered at them through the crack between the stall and the door. They were at the mirror, fixing their makeup and hair. "I mean, stupid much? Going to a secluded place with your drunk boyfriend, no matter how lunchable he is, just leads to a big, episode of badness." She capped her lipstick, tossed it into her makeup bag, and rummaged through it for her tweezers.
"Oh, uh yeah, totally," Harmony responded with unconvincing surety. "I would never do something so brainless." She blanched when she saw the disbelieving look Cordy was giving her.
"Harmony, please. Let's not get started, shall we?" Cordy rolled her eyes at her blond friend's discomfiture. "What I'm saying, is that Buffy is way too naïve for her own good. He's been cheating on her for the past month with some slut he goes to college with."
Harmony gasped, and dropped her hairbrush. "How do you know?"
"Because, duh, I was at a party up at UCLA and I saw him crawling all over this blond bimbo named Darla. He wasn't getting any from Buffy, which drove him crazy, so he had to get it somewhere." Cordy lowered her voice conspiratorially. "But I heard Darla dumped him when she found out about his high school sweetheart, and that really sent him over the edge of sanity."
Buffy squeezed her eyes shut, hoping she was having yet another nightmare, and she wasn't really hearing two of her friends discussing the most traumatic thing to ever happen to her so casually. Unfortunately, she was wide-awake, and she could only listen in secret as Cordy and Harmony's conversation continued.
"...anyway, he's also a total psycho. He did the same thing to another girl back when he was in high school." Buffy heard Cordy say.
"What, he cheated on another girlfriend?" Harmony could always be depended upon to ask stupid questions. Cordy sighed profoundly, and rolled her eyes to the heavens.
"Why me?" she pleaded with the cosmos. "No, 'brainy', he raped a girl in high school," Cordy whispered the dread word as if she was afraid of being struck by lightening. "Do I have to go all Lifetime TV for you?"
"Oh," breathed Harmony, wide-eyed. "So what happened?"
"I don't know. I guess it got all hushed up, since he was 'the big star' of Sunnydale." Cordy plopped all her make-up supplies back in her bag. "Of course, I only just heard about that after what happened with Buffy, or else I totally would have warned her off him." Harmony nodded in understanding.
"So what do we do? I so don't want to deal with all the crap she's gonna get from people," Harmony whined as she mimicked Cordy's primping in the mirror.
"Oh, neither do I," came the vehement reply. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I feel bad for her," Cordy emphasized her point with a hand over her heart. "But I just can't afford to have an 'object of negative curiosity' for a friend right now." She tossed her book bag over her shoulder and fluffed her mane of dark hair.
Buffy stood, silently weeping, as she realized the rest of her 'friends' would follow Cordelia's lead, and slowly but surely, cut her out of their lives. When she heard the two girls finally exit the bathroom, she let out a frustrated sob and left the stall. "I won't give them the chance to blow me off," she growled to her reflection. She stayed true to that resolution as she went through the rest of her time at Sunnydale High. In her classes, she bypassed her usual seats by the 'Cordettes' and she skipped lunch every day, choosing instead to munch on a piece of fruit in the art room while she pretended to work on a painting.
The experience had taught her a harsh, but valuable lesson: she could only really depend on herself. She had her mother, and she had Giles but they couldn't always be there for her. Taking a deep breath, she walked the rest of the way home, her memories making her determined to remain as solitary as possible.
The next afternoon, Buffy made her way to Spike's house, perplexed, and a little bit annoyed. She'd confirmed with him after class that day that they would meet at the museum at three-thirty. She'd arrived ten minutes early so she could have her mother come down and let them in for free. Joyce was pleased that Buffy was making an effort to spend time with kids her age after school, and Buffy didn't have the heart to remind her that the only reason she was doing so, was because of the tutoring. They'd waited about twenty minutes, since they thought perhaps Spike had gotten waylaid after his last class. After forty minutes of waiting, Buffy realized that Spike wasn't going to show up. Joyce had been very disappointed, and Buffy decided to stop by his house to see if he'd gone home instead of meeting her. She felt like she ought to give him a piece of her mind for ditching her, but a feeling in her gut told her that something was wrong.
When she got to his door, she suddenly felt uneasy. She couldn't explain why, except for the reason that she'd never been to his house before, and the time she'd dropped him off, there'd been an altercation. She pushed the button for the doorbell, but didn't hear a corresponding ring, so she rapped on the door and waited. No one called out or came to the door, so she knocked again, this time a little louder. No answer came, and her heart started to pound. Without thinking that she was intruding, she reached for the doorknob, and turned it; it was unlocked. Buffy tentatively pushed the door open, and stepped inside, not bothering to close it in case she needed to make a hasty exit.
"Spike?" she called out cautiously, looking around the foyer. As before, she didn't hear an answer, so she rounded a corner into what appeared to be the living room. It took a moment for her brain to process the state of disarray the room was in. Two chairs had been overturned, and a suitcase lay open on the floor, its contents scattered. A floor lamp lay on its side, the glass shade crushed. Behind the tattered sofa, Buffy spied an outstretched arm.
"Spike?" she whispered, stepping over the debris to see whose arm it was. She trembled, terrified of what she would find, and a hoarse cry escaped her throat when she saw Spike's prone and bruised form on the floor. He was unconscious, and bleeding from several places. His left arm lay at an awkward angle, as if it were broken.
"Oh my God, Spike!" she exclaimed, and ran over to crouch down beside him, unsure of what to do. At last, she felt for a pulse at his throat. She sobbed in relief when the strong beat of his heart registered through her fingers, and she shot up, her eyes frantically searching for a telephone. She spotted it across the room, and dashed over to pick up the receiver. In her panic, she froze, trying to remember Giles' home phone number. When the information finally revealed itself, she dialed, and anxiously waited for him to pick up. She prayed he was home. She didn't know where he was, since he hadn't shown up for school again today, and wasn't in his apartment when she'd stopped by the night before.
At length, he answered and she wildly informed him of her discovery. Giles didn't speak for a moment, and then she heard him say, "Bloody hell! Damn Rick, damn him!" Buffy jumped at the fury with which he uttered these words. "Don't move him, Buffy. Stay right there, I'll be over in an instant!" The line went dead, and Buffy rushed back over to Spike's side. Hesitatingly, she smoothed his matted curls away from his forehead, revealing a nasty gash. The blood in her veins jumped at the sight, but she continued to stroke his hair and uttered soothing nonsense to him. He'd flinched and groaned at the contact initially, but when she tenderly caressed his face, he leaned into her touch, and nuzzled her hand.
Buffy held back tears as she waited for Giles. For the moment, she'd forgotten all of her own fears and reservations, and concentrated on the insensible boy before her. She regretted not having said anything about the other night when he'd come to her door, battered and looking for Giles. She was certain his father had done this, and she blamed her own sense of self- preservation for keeping her silent. Buffy hadn't wanted to get involved, and if she had, Spike might not have gotten so hurt. Her vision started to blur, when she heard a noise at the front of the house, and her heart jumped to her throat. Had his father returned? She sagged with relief when she saw Giles enter the room.
"Over here," her voice was a low croak, but Giles heard, and hurried over. He took one look at Spike and the fury she'd perceived in his voice earlier was evident in his expression. He marched over to the phone, and called for an ambulance. When he hung up, he wearily walked back over to Buffy and Spike, and slowly knelt down next to them, taking off his glasses. Buffy had a million questions on her tongue, none of which she could give voice to. Giles didn't look at her, and didn't touch her; he stared at his nephew with tears in his eyes, muttering, "I'm sorry, William, I'm sorry," over and over.
When the ambulance arrived, and the paramedics hauled Spike into the vehicle on a stretcher, Giles turned to Buffy before climbing inside behind him.
"I think you should go home now, Buffy. I'm sure your mother's there by now, and she'll be wondering where you are."
Buffy felt disappointed that Giles didn't seem to want her to accompany them, but she understood. She nodded faintly, and turned to go, when she suddenly stopped, and ran back to her friend as he started to climb into the ambulance.
Grabbing his arm, she stared up into his face, her big green eyes shining with tears. "Could-could my mom and I come to the hospital later? I just want to make sure Spike's going to be okay." Giles smiled at his young friend, touched by her concern.
"I'm sure he'll be all right, Buffy. I'm not sure you'll be able to see him tonight, though. I'll call you when he's been examined, alright?" He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, and clambered into the waiting ambulance. Buffy watched them drive away until they disappeared around a corner, then turned and headed slowly toward home, angry at herself for letting her selfishness rule her.