Christmas was gone.
It was New Year's Eve, and Mokuba was searching the house in search of some "good" alcohol to go into the New Year with; none of Kaiba's arguments were deterring Mokuba's determination to drink. So he had resigned himself to sitting on the couch with Mokuba and watching TV. If nothing else, it renewed his distaste for the appliance. It didn't serve a purpose; even the news was repetitive and didn't give enough information. They only watched the Weather Channel once, just long enough to learn that the roads would be icy, and that everyone should drive carefully. Kaiba rolled his eyes and informed Mokuba that it didn't matter since they wouldn't be driving.
"We're at least watching the countdown," Mokuba said, all smiles and songs. Why was he singing anyway? What was there to be happy about? It was just another year, another twelve months to idle away. More birthdays would pass, more companies would be taken over, and then they would do it all again…
"Whatever."
They watched the countdown, reminisced about New Years gone past… Though Kaiba pointedly ignored Mokuba when he mentioned Kaiba's twenty-first New Years. It wasn't a particularly fond memory, mostly because Kaiba didn't remember it at all. And from the looks of it, Mokuba wasn't going to remember the holiday either; he had a bottle of champagne between his knees, drinking from in contentedly in random intervals. It may not have been a very refined way of drinking, but the way Kaiba saw it, drinking itself wasn't refined, so why bother? Besides, the bottle was all Mokuba's; he didn't intend to drink, especially if he had to make sure Mokuba wouldn't make too much of an ass of himself – and judging by the rate Mokuba was downing the bottle and the things he kept saying, Kaiba would have his work cut out for him.
At 11:59 Mokuba started counting the seconds all the way from fifty-nine. By twenty-five Kaiba was ready to smother him with a pillow. At ten Kaiba was beginning to doubt his decision not to drink.
"ZERO! Happy New Year!" Mokuba launched at him, knocking him back on the couch and kissing his cheek.
"You're too old for that," Kaiba said, but despite his scowl, his voice was warm.
Mokuba laughed and sat up. "Well, you're supposed to have someone to kiss you at midnight, and we're all we've got tonight… just don't tell anyone; I don't want to know how girls would act if word got out that I kissed my brother."
Kaiba rolled his eyes. "I seem to remember a time when you used to beg me to shoo girls away."
"All boys grow up someday, Seto." Mokuba grinned and teasingly patted his brother on the shoulder. "Let me know when you catch up."
Despite his usual demeanor, Kaiba flushed red. "Don't be an ass," he chastised, even though he knew it hadn't been a malicious comment.
"I didn't mean it," Mokuba said, immediately changing from teasing to repentant. "I bet next year you'll have someone to kiss you – you know, really kiss you."
I doubt it. "Idealistic of you," he replied.
"I must have gotten all the idealism for both of us," Mokuba retorted, standing; he only swayed a little on his feet, and he was surprisingly steady as he tugged Kaiba's wrist. "C'mon, we need to go out. It's New Years, we're supposed to party."
"I hate parties."
"One night," Mokuba pleaded with big eyes. Big begging puppy-dog eyes. "I don't want to sit around the house all night, and I know everyone is celebrating at the game shop – Yugi called and told me. Please?"
Kaiba growled. "Fine."
He really intended to figure out how to say no to Mokuba.
The Game Shop looked more alive than Kaiba had ever seen it. He hadn't thought that Yugi knew very many people, let alone enough to have the place so loud that it bordered on disturbing the peace. "Who are these people?" he asked Yugi, standing beside the slighter male with scowl on his face. Mokuba immediately disappeared into the crowd.
"I have no clue," Yugi laughed, taking a sip of his drink. "I didn't plan this – it was all Duke and Joey. Those two get along pretty good when they want to wreck my house."
"Why is that funny?" Kaiba wouldn't be laughing if someone took the liberty of throwing a party in HIS house.
"Oh! Didn't he tell you? They're going to be brothers soon, and most the time they do nothing but fight."
Kaiba blinked. "Oh." He wasn't sure who to feel more sorry for: Joey, Duke, or the sister marrying Duke.
"Yea!" Yugi looked around. "Hey!" he called to someone, raising his hand in greeting and sauntering off; Kaiba was left leaning against a corner alone. He did what came instinctively – searched for an exit. The backdoor seemed to be the closest. He found the most direct route and went, brushing past laughing people and drunk people; they all tried to offer him a drink, and each time he had coolly refused and kept walking.
He had never been so relieved to be outside, cold as it was. He looked around the small backyard. The snow looked like it had been romped in more than once; there was a lopsided snowman in the corner. A fence bordered the yard, and there was a badly shoveled pathway running straight to the gate. The gate led out into another street. Actually, a walk sounded good; it was bound to be quieter than the house behind him, and Mokuba would be busy for hours. Kaiba looked back towards the house, through the glass doors. Mokuba was nowhere to be seen in the crowd, wouldn't even notice if he left… Kaiba shrugged and started down the walk.
Just his luck that he slipped halfway and landed flat on his back. He lay still for a minute, resisting the urge to groan. Of course: if the roads were icy, then the sidewalks would be too. He probably should have thought of that sooner; he could have saved his pride AND his body a couple of bruises. The worst part was that it hurt – he used to be able to take harder hits than that.
"Are you okay?"
Kaiba hadn't even heard the backdoor open. "Huh?" To his surprise he saw Joey standing over him, smiling amusedly.
"Okay? You know, not hurt?" Joey leaned in, offering his hand. "I fell there earlier. Damn ice."
"Hm," Kaiba weighed his options, then reached up and took Joey's hand. Strange – for a lawyer Joey had fairly rough hands. All the lawyers Kaiba had known were soft-skinned and gentle in their movements, yet Joey's grip was firm, with none of the finesse that Kaiba had come to expect from corporate weasels.
That was the hand that pulled him upright.
It was a shame that the owner of the hand couldn't keep HIMSELF upright; before Kaiba could find his balance he was down again… atop Joey. Kaiba blinked. How cliché.
"Ow," Joey groaned. "I hate ice."
"Whatever," Kaiba said softly. Why wasn't he more upset? It didn't make much sense. Then again, who could complain about a cliché when it was warm and close? Curious that he thought that was a good thing.
"Life isn't about knowing what the future holds; it's about a series of chances."
Kaiba cocked his head to the side. It was as though he could hear the words playing back in his head, like a tape set to go off at just the right time.
"You can take those chances, or you can let them pass."
Hm. Wise of his younger brother... the advice was more useful than Kaiba had first realized. He saw his chance – his opportunity – and mulled over those words. He could take it... or he could let it pass, perhaps never to be had again. Joey was staring at him: not terrified, or even curious, but almost confused. The moonlight was good to him, painted his features well... Made him look very kissable. It was a good thing Kaiba wasn't afraid of a risk. He leaned down, capturing Joey's lips in a hesitant kiss.
He wasn't sure what he expected. Just what could a person expect when he was kissing his lawyer?
"...you can't predict any outcome."
Maybe he hoped that Joey would return the kiss, pull him closer and beg for more. Kaiba remembered having that effect on a couple of people in his life, but he never remembered actually wanting it. Even an "Ew, no," would have sufficed without surprise. Actually, that was what he suspected would happen; the man he was kissing had a kid: that indicated straightness.
When Kaiba considered it – moments too late, their lips still pressed together somewhat awkwardly – kissing Joey wasn't the most logical thing he had ever done. In fact, it had to qualify at the opposite end of the spectrum. But even in that case, Kaiba didn't expect to be shoved off so violently that he barely caught himself enough to sit upright. He didn't expect Joey to stare at him, expression unreadable, wide-eyed, mouth slightly agape.
"Uh... I'd better go check on Alex," Joey said quickly, pushing himself to his feet. Kaiba watched as he all but ran away, fleeing back into the house. He even slipped a little on the ice, but either by luck or sheer will to get away, he stayed upright.
Damn. There was another mistake that Kaiba would have to take care of. The last thing he needed was tension at work.
He would worry about the "whys" of what he did later.
It took a minute to regain his composure, to slow down his mind long enough to appear aloof as always, and when he reentered the shop no one seemed to notice. He didn't see anyone he recognized, and he wasn't about to start asking random people if they had seen Joey – that would be desperate, and desperation was one thing that he refused to follow. He looked around, looked for the usual signs that there was a child nearby – cooing, women gushing, messes – but found nothing. In fact, it wasn't at all the environment for a child… but there was a flight of stairs off in one corner. Perhaps upstairs… He strode towards them without hesitation, not bothering to find Yugi and ask permission.
There were bedrooms upstairs, and Kaiba could see a bathroom at the end of the hallway. Something was off.
Smoke. He could smell smoke. It was faint, but it was definitely there. Joey was upstairs, and he was nervous – that was at least a small consolation. He took a moment before he located the source of the smell: a room next to the bathroom. Kaiba entered without knocking, without warning… but he did hesitate, just for a second.
Joey was sitting on the windowsill, feet dangling outside, elbows resting on his knees.
"Isn't there ice on that too?" Kaiba asked. He saw Joey cringe and decided to stay where he was standing. The lights were off, but in the moonlight Kaiba could see that the room was designed for an infant, the one that Téa never had. It would be a logical place to hide. Kaiba looked around, but didn't see Alex. It was something of a relief.
"I hope not," Joey murmured. "I'm not quite ready to die yet."
The silence seemed to stretch on for hours, but it was probably only a minute, two tops. Kaiba didn't like it – it was too awkward, too weird. He had never been in a situation quite like it, and he hadn't come prepared for a learning experience. Exactly what was he supposed to say? He didn't even know why he had done it!
"Look, that was a little…" Joey cursed under his breath, looking up into the sky. "I… Hmm… Shit." He took a drag off his cigarette, and Kaiba was glad that he was on the other side of the room – the smell was bad enough where he was standing. "It's not that you're not…" Joey paused, swallowed audibly, but didn't look back. "It's just that… I just… have a really bad track record when it comes to… uh, relationships and shit." He sounded almost ashamed. Kaiba wanted to tell him that he was jumping the gun: an impulsive kiss wasn't some request for something more meaningful. Yet he didn't interrupt Joey's story. "Girlfriend to girlfriend… Hell, I got married and divorced in under a year when I was nineteen. I don't suggest it – it's not pretty." He laughed humorlessly, looked at his all-but-gone cigarette. He swore and threw it out the window, moving his gaze to the ground. "After a couple years of a couple meaningless and flat-out bad relationships I gave up on all the love bullshit, figured if monks and nuns could go entire lives without sex, then I could give it a shot – you just need something to devote yourself to, right?" He shook his head, chuckled dryly. "Then I met Alex's ma. Man," he said wistfully, looking up at the sky again, "that woman made me think that there was such a thing as love at first sight, so I told myself I'd make a special exception for her, that I'd give it a chance. Well, that blew up in my face, and after that I said no more special cases, no more hoping. Nothing involving love ever goes well." Joey's shoulders sagged, and he leaned heavily on his knees. It was hard for Kaiba to tell from his angle exactly where he was looking, but it wasn't down or up; his eyes seemed fixed on the horizon. "And I've been called a bitch more than enough times for saying this, but I'm sick and fuckin' tired of being hurt." His words were bitter, and he finally pulled his legs into the room, turning in but not facing Kaiba. "At least I have something to be devoted to now."
Alex.
Kaiba snorted and shook his head. "Don't read so much into it – I regretted it before it was over."
Joey nodded. "And I've been drinking."
That was a lie; even if Kaiba hadn't known that Joey didn't taste like alcohol, he knew that Joey didn't drink much, if at all. But whatever made things seem more logical. "Bad habit."
"I have a lot of those." Joey looked down at his watch. "It's late – I need to go home if I'm going to be up in time for a work tomorrow. See you." Joey jumped into the room and closed the window. He walked right past Kaiba without even glancing at him. In Kaiba's experience, anyone who wasn't willing to meet his eyes had something to hide. But he didn't want anymore of Joey's secrets; the one he had shared was entirely too intimate for comfort.
He looked around the room again, sighing. Well, he was alone; time to figure out what the hell he was thinking. He saw a lone rocking chair, beside a crib. A monument to a life that could never be… Kaiba couldn't bring himself to sit there – instead he found a corner to lean against.
He could chalk it up to nerves. He was trying to figure out why they were getting along, and Mokuba would be leaving soon. It seemed possible that he might do something impulsively if he were distracted… but not likely. Getting along with Joey wasn't distracting enough to make him lose his senses, and Mokuba's departure was painful, but not necessarily distracting.
He threw that theory out.
Surrealism, perhaps; he had always hated when life took on dreamlike qualities. He liked firm colors, harsh lights, and blunt realities. The backyard had certainly been surreal, with the moonlight and the soft colors, the snow blurring the edges of the night. Hell, even Joey had looked surreal, confusion on his face, skin bathed in the moon's silver light. It was a pathetic cliché, but it made enough sense to Kaiba to decide that it had to be right; it must have been like a dream for him.
He always had done bizarre things in his dreams.
"Hey, Seto," Mokuba called, leaning into the room; he tried to grab the doorframe and ended up twirling around it almost majestically, laughing. "We need to go."
"Any reason?" Kaiba asked, but he wasn't arguing. He stood straight, stretching.
"Well," Mokuba stretched out the word and giggled, "I've been drinking, and…"
Kaiba tuned the rest out. "And I've been drinking." He grabbed his babbling brother around the shoulders and guided him down the stairs, thinking the whole way. There was a second thing he had in common with Joey.
They were both willing to lie for their pride.
- notes & ramblings -
"Holy shit," you might say, "something actually HAPPENED."
"Yea... about time, huh?" I'd reply. "It should start to pick up from here... I think..."
First off -- I don't mean anything by Mokuba's kiss other than exactly what it was -- slightly drunken goofiness on his part, and just a little brotherly affection. ^^ We already gave Kaiba his brotherly-angst in a different story, lol. But on his teasing Kaiba... I thought it was kind of cute. heh... :)
Actually, that scene where Mokuba talks to Kaiba about kissing someone on New Years was the reason I wrote "At Midnight"; I thought up that clip early on in the story, and I knew that when it was written here it wouldn't be very happy. I wanted to write something a little more light-hearted on the topic... and so that story was born. ^^
So I keep approaching this idea of Kaiba being unable to say no to Mokuba... just because I think it's funny to see him thwarted by something as simple as his own devotion. ^^;; And I suspect Mokuba is even a tad bit manipulative. Then again, most 26 year olds I've met are pretty devious, lol. But on the topic of Mokuba, Kaiba, and parties: every time there's been a party and Kaiba refuses to go (in my stories), he always ends up there one way or another. Someday I'll have to write something where he actually doesn't go to the party, lol.
Duke & Serenity -- there's actually a small history of this in my head that never has a place in the story. Actually, I ought to write it, lol. But I actually wondered about this; I figured that Serenity would end up with either Tristan or Duke in this story... and somewhere along the line Tristan switched sides on me, lol. As was once again mentioned in the chapter-that-is-no-longer, "...before Serenity got engaged to Duke she was with Tristan… but, in Wheeler's words, that 'lasted all of ten minutes before Tristan changed his mind.'" *thinks that's funny*
So the usefulness of Mokuba's rant from Chapter Five was painfully predictable... actually, I think the whole kiss is cliche, and you know, I'm happy with it that way -- sometimes life is cliche, you know? It's not always different. But it's not always the same... I don't know. Maybe that's a cop-out? lol. But can we say "melodrama"? Haha -- actually, the original part with Joey telling the story of his distrust in relationships with a lot more morbid. But I like the way he tells it for some reason. Maybe I'm being an angst-junkie, lol.
I haven't quite figured out why Kaiba dislikes smoke so much -- it was just something that kept popping up.
..::responses to reviewers::..
lightning sage, ranma higurashi, eyes0nme19, jenniyah, tanya maxwell, denisse, dream-chaser668: arigato. *bow*
angel-belle: hey, you ARE at both sites. lol. ^^
pestilence gh: ... so what's goin' on in that head of yours? ;) lol
unica the black raven: I'm sorry to have interrupted your complaint, lol. ^^ But thank you. I still haven't figured out where Yami is.
tadashi: yea, Kaiba seems to be doing a lot of that thinking thing. ^^
gyrrlgenius: lol, i'm glad it's not boring. I really worry about that.
nenya85: ^^ Thanks; sometimes I worry about those little things, so it makes me smile to see that they interest you.