Chapter Eight

Daria stood at her front door and stared at her newest blind date in shock.

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" he said.

"Uh… yeah. Come in," she waved him in and shut the door behind him. "Just hold on. I need to talk to my friend before we go." She backed away from him and headed for Jane, who was sitting across the room.

Jane was in deep concentration with her newest sketch, so Daria had to tap her on the shoulder before she finally paid attention. "Jane, you know how I said months ago that if you had me wear makeup, I'd make you pay?"

"Yeah," Jane replied, never looking up from her charcoal drawing.

"Well, I forgot to mention that I'd prefer my date to not wear makeup also."

Jane frowned in confusion as she looked to the door. There, she saw a young, burly man who was currently smoothing down his red miniskirt. He grinned and waved at her, and she waved bewilderedly back at him. She turned back to Daria. "Woah. Looks like Taryn doesn't know Phil as well as she thought she did."

"You think?" She sighed. "This is awful."

"Well, it's definitely going to make for one interesting date."

"Jane, there is no way I am going out with him."

"C'mon, Daria. Don't be so judgmental."

"I am not judgmental."

"What do you think you're doing now?" she said. Daria looked away guiltily. "That's what I thought."

Daria sighed and picked up her jaket. "Ok, Phil," she called to her date. "Let's go."

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Daria sipped her Dr. Pepper and surveyed her surroundings. Phil had brought her to his favorite hangout, a loud, blaring karaoke bar. The tables, chairs, and walls were all colored in neon colors of blue, pink, purple, green, and red. The only thing left untouched by the violent hues was the wooden stage, where amateur performers could sing their hearts out into the microphone attached to the karaoke machine. Sighing, Daria turned her attention back to her date.

"I know you must've been shocked when I first showed up," Phil said. "Everyone always is. But I feel it's best to get the idea that I'm a cross dresser out in the open right away. No pretense….no lies… just me, being who I am!" He grinned at her from across the table.

"Um, I guess that's a good philosophy to have." Daria looked away. So… then Taryn knew you were a cross dresser when she set you up with me?"

"I thought she did, but she probably would've told you if she knew. Maybe she doesn't know." His brow furrowed as he thought. "Maybe it's because I only wore pants suits around her. I don't know." He shrugged.

"Well, I th---"

"Hey, look," interrupted Phil, pointing to the stage. "The karaoke machine's open! C'mon! Let's go sing!"

"Oh no. No, no, no. I don't do karaoke," said Daria.

"Too late! I'm making you." He grabbed her by the hand and dragged her to the stage. They climbed the stairs, and Phil, never letting go of her hand (though she certainly struggled), picked the song. He grabbed the mike as the opening chords rang. "Here's how it'll work. I'll sing something, and then I'll point the microphone at you for you to sing the next part. You just need to sing what's on the screen over there. Any questions?"

"Yes; why did it have to be this song?"

Phil rolled his eyes and grinned. "It's one of my favorites! Oo! It's starting!" He began to sing in a rich baritone voice. "Humidity is rising!"


"Mm. Rising," she said, nearly dying of embarrassment.

"Barometer is getting low!"

"How low…. girl?"

"According to our sources--"

"What sources now?"

"--the street is the place to go!"

"We better hurry up."

"'Cause tonight for the first time---"

"First time."

"--just about half past ten---"

"Half past ten."

"--for the first time in history, it's gonna start raining men!"

"Start raining men."

"It's raining men!"

"Hallelujah."

"It's raining men!"

"Ame--- oh I can't do this!" She finally wrenched herself free from Phil's grip and stomped off the stage. "I'm leaving, Phil!"

Phil started to head after her. "But Dari---" He then stopped, noticing the audience watching him.

"Keep going!" cried a laughing voice from the back.

Phil grinned. "Oh, OK. God bless Mother Nature! She's a single woman too!" he continued.

Daria stormed out of the karaoke bar and never saw him again.