Author's Notes: Um, no OCs or romance, one swear-word, and most likely severe OOC. And, as it's been over a year since I last watched the Russian episodes of Beyblade, there will be inaccuracies to the canon in this. Sorry – there are a lot of assumptions in this… Classify it as AU if you wish. Oh, and there is practically no plot whatsoever to speak of. This is a one-shot, meant for character introspection more than anything.
Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade. Simple as that.
……
Many say that innocence lost can never be regained. It's a saying that has been stated so many times that many also say it has become clichéd.
And yet…
There's no debating its truthfulness.
To lose innocence means to open one's eyes to the world. Only one living a false reality can remain innocent, for this world is a cruel ugly one. People hate, people hurt, people destroy.
To remain innocent of those facts is merely a false delusion.
But…
Sometimes though…
It may be better to let those eyes remain closed.
Five minutes before noon, Hiwatari Kai walked. It was not an exceptionally fast pace, nor was it the walk of one unsure of his way in life. No, Kai was always sure of himself, always sure of his destination, even in the journey known as life.
Or so he thought.
"Kai."
Kai stiffened, but otherwise did not make any acknowledgement of the grating voice behind him. There were very few that earned Kai's hate – most were gifted with indifference – but this particular individual was different.
"Tala," he acknowledged.
The red-haired blader merely stared at Kai with his typical expression of total blankness – but it was nothing out of the ordinary, as that blankness of emotion was as indigenous to Tala as an expression of scorn was to Kai. The two more alike than either sought to acknowledge, and that was perhaps the seeds of their enmity.
After all, if any human were to look into the barest vestiges of their soul, they would be disgusted by what they find.
There had been celebration the day he was born. It had been in a spacious private room, one given only to the most affluent of clients. His family had money, and with money came certain privileges.
"He's beautiful."
A gentle laugh.
"He's perfect."
A tender hand brushing across his forehead.
"Perfect… Yes, perfect."
Abruptly, he began to cry.
"Voltaire wants you," Tala said quietly. In his voice there was just blankness, no spite nor hate. It was what angered Kai that most – hate he could handle, spite he could deal with, but indifference…
It was different.
"He can wait," Kai answered. His voice was the same flat tone. Do unto other what you would have others do to you, or so they say.
"There's nothing else for you to do," Tala countered. A mindless slave, that was all he was. Kai despised people like that. They were those who threw away their identity and allowed the will of another to overflow their being.
In Kai's belief, the most important thing one can own is their self. To give that up shows not only weakness of character but also an utter disrespect for one's own being.
People like that don't deserve to live.
"Momma!" he yelled, waving his left hand in the air. The right clutched a small phoenix plushie so tightly that, if it were real, it would have suffocated from a decidedly painful death. Children were always as such, clinging to something so tightly no matter what the consequences.
"What is it?"
He smiled. It was a painfully innocent smile, one only the youth of this world, too young to truly see reality, could possess. The unspeakable joy brought happiness to all who glimpsed it, and yet those who knew the workings of the world could only feel sorrow.
"Grandpa gave it to me. Isn't it cute? I thought phoenixes were supposed to be red, but I was wrong, 'cause this one's black!"
Such innocence would not last, not in a world such as this.
"I won't become a mindless slave. I won't bow to his every whim." Not like you.
Tala laughed, but it was an empty laugh devoid of any mirth. "He'll be angry. I'll enjoy watching."
There was no need to reply to that. It wasn't that Kai didn't know what to say nor was it that he despised conversation in general. Instead, he preferred to think of himself as far more intelligent than the general populace – there are statements not even worthy of a reply; why waste time grasping blindly for one?
Kai merely tossed Tala one last glare before setting forward once more, scarf billowing in his wake. He wasn't running away. He never did.
There were battles not even worth fighting, if solely for their foolishness.
He and Tala would never have a conversation free of spite. It was as simple as the sun revolving around the sun or the grass being green. There was no point in fighting for the impossible.
"Where is this place?" he whispered, his eyes widening.
The man smiled. He didn't answer and instead pushed the boy in the back, prodding him forward. The push was gentle enough not to cause pain, but there was an underlying forcefulness in it.
It was the touch of a man accustomed to being obeyed.
The boy lifted his eyes. He was short enough that he had to crane his neck to see the highest points of the magnificent structure before him. High arches overshadowed intricately carved gargoyles with eyes seeming to glare straight through one's soul. Timeless guardians, their vicious features and rocky angularly figure cast a foreboding air upon the entire place.
He didn't want to go in.
"Let's go."
He didn't move. The place was scary – he didn't want to go. Mother had always told him what a bad man Uncle Boris was, despite his grandfather's word. She was right; the man next to him had the scariest smile he had ever seen.
"Go," the man repeated. The pressure on the boy's back increased until he was forced to dig his heels into the floor lest he be pushed forward. It wasn't long before the small child gave in and took a step forward.
And another.
And another.
And another.
The door slammed ominously shut behind him.
Kai stepped on the first step of the staircase. Spiraling upward, it was made of cold angular stone, adding even further to the ominous air of the vicinity. Some say it led to a doorway leading nowhere – that is, no where but the empty air outside.
It was also said that a blader from long ago had committed suicide from it.
"Five," Tala called after him.
Kai paused in his steps, his hand resting lightly on the banister. He tilted his head slightly. There were the barest hints of confusion on his face, showing his absolute bafflement over the statement.
"Five minutes," Tala clarified after a moment. The flame-haired blader had a smirk on his face – a hint that he knew something Kai could only guess at. "He said that it would be five minutes before you came to him."
"Arrogant bastard," Kai said mildly. He mentally tossed the prediction into the recesses of his mind, planning to never pay heed to it. Hiwatari Kai didn't function on anyone's clock, much less his grandfather's.
"You said he would be strong."
"He is."
"He's failing, and that means weakness."
"Currently he's weak, but his potential is limitless. The boy is perfect – you know that better than anyone. All geniuses need time to awake. The boy is no different."
"It doesn't matter in any case. We don't have any choice. The boy's seen too much to give up on him now."
-- I can be strong. --
-- I will be strong. --
-- Just watch me. --
The staircase was long, but Kai did not get tired. The extensive training pressed on him, all he had been forced through all the years, they made the stairs seem nothing short of a mere irritant. Each step was careful and controlled, soon creating a rhythmic pounding on the wooden ground.
He liked control. Control meant a sense of certainty, a certainty that everything would go the way he wished, that circumstances would bend to his whim.
One's emotions depended on the circumstances before them. Control of circumstances meant control of emotions.
Finally reaching the top, Kai stopped in front of a door. He knew where the door led. It led to nowhere. Down in the training rooms, he had heard children contemplating the purpose of the door – what use was a door that led nowhere?
Kai knew the purpose of such a door.
He knew it didn't lead "nowhere." It most certainly led somewhere. Kai had to give credit to the men who, centuries ago, had built such a structure. He wasn't sure if he believed in fate, but he had to wonder if those men of long ago had known the purpose such a holy structure would later serve.
A place where children were trained to be strong, to be cold, to be cruel. A place that believed not in the goodness of humanity, but instead in how far a soul could be pushed before it snapped.
Snapped.
Snapped into a shell in which a heart was but a mere dream.
He saw a black phoenix again that day.
Boris had been in a good mood, unusual for a man whose face seemed perpetually frozen in a scowl. Perhaps Voltaire had given him a promotion, or more likely, he had been given the glee of telling yet another child that he wasn't "good enough."
A man like that always got pleasure from pain.
He didn't know if Boris being in a good mood was a good thing or not. There was something about that man that was always unnerving, no matter what the mood. Those were the people one should always stay away from, the dangerous ones that would pass up a chance to stomp all over you.
But today he didn't care. Boris had taken it out. It, the pride of the abbey, the one thing they all strived to control. Even from a distance they could feel the absolute power emanating from it.
It was intoxicating.
When he looked around, he could see awe-filled eyes widening. They were the innocents, the ones who were merely looking at something they respected… but never expected to hold. Those would not make it far in a place such as this, be it for better or worse.
There were others though who were also staring in awe – but that childish awe was overshadowed by a shade of very much adult calculation. They fully expected possession of the seductively dangerous phoenix, to mold its power to become their own. They were the pride of the Abbey.
He was one of them.
The door had fulfilled its purpose over fifteen years ago when a young man leapt from its heights. In the Abbey, it was the only door unlocked, the only door one could voluntarily leave through. Only one person had used it before.
He had been the previous holder of Black Dranzer.
In Kai's opinion, the boy had been weak. He had been unfit to hold a blade of such power. The blader always controlled the blade; it was as simple as that. Once the blade got control… It was nothing anyone would want to even think about.
Just by one glimpse of Black Dranzer, Kai could already tell its immense power. If that power could be molded, bended under his control…
His power would be immeasurable.
Hiwatari Kai smiled.
It wasn't long before he held Black Dranzer in his hands. It was a feeling he had never felt before, one he hoped to hold for the rest of his life.
Humans spout on and on about love and peace, about how no one wants to get hurt, and as such one shouldn't hurt others.
It was all a lie.
Suddenly, he felt as if his eyes had been opened. There was no kindness, no mercy, and no true happiness. No human wants peace, at least, not genuinely. Ulterior motives, motives hidden in the deepest fragments of one's heart, they secretly control all.
No one does anything out of pure kindness. It's a fact of life, as is the fact that all humans are twisted cruel creatures. Despite how much they try to play nice, to earn trust, there's no point in hiding true nature.
Humans revel in being the best. To be shove another to the bottom of the heap, to use their corpse as a stepping stone to the next level – that's the best feeling in the world.
The veil had been lifted from his eyes. The world suddenly became clear.
And next morning, the Abbey fell.
His steps quickened as he strode down the stairway and away from that door. What had first started off as slow unsteady steps soon gained confidence, and before long Kai was practically dashing down the stairs.
He would choose to live. Black Dranzer would not break him.
As he progressed through the Abbey, each and every person in his way was soon shoved aside. No one could stand in his way now – Kai had a new confidence, a different confidence. With power came authority, and with authority came confidence.
He knew his destination. It was the place he couldn't possibly avoid, but also the place he was meant to be. A position had been betrothed to him since birth – his destiny.
In the distance he could hear the bell tower strike noon.
"I'm here, grandfather."
……
Author's Notes: So, there it is. The fic that took me forever, considering its short length… Come to think of it, the whole thing doesn't have much of a point, but ah well. Review, please?