It was morning too soon, and Kaiba instinctively pulled his lover closer, sighing. He was tempted to pull the covers up to hide them from the invading sunlight; he wasn't ready to get out of bed yet.
His lover.
Kaiba's eyes opened, and he stared down at Joey. The blond looked... peaceful. Kaiba wondered if he was the reason for that. He almost wished that time could stop; Joey was quite the sight to wake up to. It was nice to have someone to share his bed with, even if said someone had cold feet, snored, and stole his blankets...
The bedroom door cracked open, and Kaiba looked over as Alex ran into the room and climbed up onto the bed. He plopped down unceremoniously in the corner, smiling at Kaiba. "Mornin'!" the toddler said brightly. "You stay home?"
Home.
Kaiba stared at Alex, blinking dumbly. Home. Someone had just called his house a home... He watched as Alex crawled towards Joey and attempted to shake him awake. A quick glance to the blond revealed that Joey was indeed awake – he was grinning, feigning sleep. Kaiba relinquished his hold, and Joey instantly whipped around to tackle his son, tickling the boy down onto the bed. All Kaiba did was watch and smile.
Home...
The kid had a point, accidental as it had been. There was always life in the house if Joey was there. Even though it was still as simply adorned as it had always been, there was something about it that at times... Kaiba did feel at home. Comfortable. Sure, he didn't get quite as much done as he used to, but it was never too silent, not like it had been before.
"Hello, earth to Kaiba," Joey said, waving a hand in front of Kaiba's face. Kaiba blinked and looked at the grinning blond. "Did you hear me?"
"No."
Joey laughed. "I said I'm gonna take Alex out for breakfast. You want to come?"
"No, go ahead."
"Okay then; I'll see you tonight, 'kay?" He rolled off the bed, standing and stretching. Kaiba took a minute to take in the sight of him stretched out, adorned in a pair of loose pants that threatened to fall off his hips...
"Busy after work?"
"Eh? No, not really, why?" Joey smirked. "Are you actually leaving early?"
Kaiba hadn't intended to when he woke up, but the more he thought about it... "Yes."
"Holy shit, it's a miracle. I'll see you after work, then." With that Joey left for the bathroom, and Kaiba rolled over to curl under his blankets, lost in thought.
Home... Could he really think of the place he had once deemed as impersonal as a hotel as his home? And not just his home, but someone else's? It had always felt like such an empty shell of everything a home should have been, everything Kaiba had never experienced...
His alarm beeped, and he grunted softly, sitting up. He looked towards the closed bathroom door.
More importantly, could Joey feel at home with him?
The question followed him throughout the day; it only took a short recess long enough for him to concentrate through a meeting, and once he was back at his desk, it consumed his mind again.
It was a logical decision. After all, for Joey to pay rent for his apartment and then spend all his time at Kaiba's house was a waste of money. And if they were getting along just fine with him there most of the time, what was the harm in making the situation a little more permanent?
There could be a lot that goes wrong.
He ignored the pessimism.
Of course, if Kaiba DID approach Joey with the idea, he couldn't do it for logic. It couldn't be out of convenience – not that there was a convenient thing about Joey. He disrupted Kaiba's schedule, distracted him from work... It was like having a pet. A sexy pet that walked, talked, and stripped.
By three o'clock, Kaiba had done about half of what he planned to, distracted by more pressing issue of whether or not he really wanted to invite Joey into his home.
By six, Kaiba had decided that he liked the idea, and left work – he had said that he'd be back early. He spent the ride home trying to figure out the next hurdle in his plan: what to say. Nothing he could come up with seemed quite right. Asking directly seemed a little formal, and he couldn't think of any way to make Joey think it was his idea... he didn't like the idea of beating around the bush either. He was almost tempted to call Mokuba and ask for help, but he abandoned that idea quickly; Mokuba would probably just tell him to say it. The younger Kaiba never had been very subtle.
When Kaiba finally got home, Joey was sprawled out on the living room couch, snoring softly; Alex was asleep on the loveseat.
Kaiba sighed and found a book – if he wanted to talk to Joey, it would appear that he'd have to wait. He sat in the armchair, but try as he might, he couldn't concentrate on his book. His mind wandered, and occasionally he would glance between the father and son asleep in his living room. They certainly looked comfortable...
"Oh, hey," a groggy voice interrupted his thoughts, and Kaiba looked up to see Joey sitting up, rubbing his eyes. "Welcome home."
That sounded so good, Kaiba almost considered leaving just to return and hear it again.
"Thanks." Kaiba licked his lips, closing his book. If he was going to say anything, he had to come out and say it. "I have a question."
"Shoot."
Okay, he couldn't come right out and say it; beating around the bush it was. "Why do you pay rent for an apartment you're hardly in?" Take the hint...
With a laugh Joey replied, "Well, it's sort of the law; I can't really get around it."
"That's not what I meant."
"Oh." Joey shivered slightly before he continued, "I guess it's a place to have in case things don't..." he paused and looked away.
"What?" Kaiba prompted. "I don't read minds."
"Work," Joey finished warily. He looked at Kaiba and hurried to add, "Not that I want that, but it's a big thing, losing that security. Besides, why risk messing up a good thing? You gotta admit, things are pretty good right now."
Did he sound afraid, or was that Kaiba's imagination? "They are, so I hardly see a risk in stepping it up a bit."
"Sure, it looks that way," Joey replied cynically, "but it's a set pattern known by all mankind: things go good, the stakes rise, and then they go straight to – "
"Quiet," Kaiba interrupted. Joey WAS afraid, and it was probably all about his past with relationships. Well, Kaiba had gotten past that once – he could do it again. "I don't bring people into my life casually, and I wouldn't ask you to stay here if I wasn't serious."
"Yeah, serious..." Joey moved to sit on the arm of Kaiba's chair; his feet came to rest by Kaiba's thigh, and he leaned down on his knees. "You mean it when you say that?"
"Say what?"
"That you're serious. You really want me here?"
"Yes," Kaiba admitted. He felt like he was being tested, and he didn't like it. Sometimes, he had to wonder what was going on in Joey's head.
"Alex too?"
"Of course."
Joey looked pensive, and his eyes closed. "You're okay with having a kid around?"
"Why are you asking such stupid questions? When did it become your nature to analyze things?"
Joey opened his eyes and grinned. "Sometime during law school; I used to get yelled at for not asking enough questions. Just became a habit after a while." His smile faded, replaced with a serious expression. "So, how much for rent?"
Kaiba's jaw nearly dropped at the question. "I'm not asking you to stay for income."
"What, you mean you want me to stay for nothing?" Joey asked incredulously.
"Yes."
"You're kidding."
You know, most people might be excited by that prospect. "Not at all," Kaiba assured him.
"But that's like... you supportin' me. That's not necessary; I don't need to be taken care of."
"And I don't want to take care of you," Kaiba elaborated. "I just want you around. Like we've been doing for weeks."
"But..." Joey sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Sorry."
"For...?" Was that supposed to mean that Joey wasn't of like mind, that he was going to refuse over something as ridiculous as rent? Kaiba's blood boiled – damn it, he'd been so sure –
"Being difficult; it's just weird. You really mean it?"
Kaiba rolled his eyes and heaved a frustrated sigh. "If I have to say it one more time..."
"I get it," Joey interrupted, and his grin returned. "I'd love to stay," he said softly, looking down at his feet. Kaiba tucked a finger under his chin and forced him to look up.
"Why are you so wary?" he asked. Better to know sooner than wait for it to cause problems later; if he knew sooner, it could be fixed.
Joey shook his head minutely, then wrapped his arms around Kaiba's shoulders, leaning down heavily on them. "I'm hungry; mind if I leave Alex here and go pick up some pizza?"
Kaiba decided to let the topic change slide – he'd have to take it one victory a time. "That's fine." Joey leaned in to kiss him, but he lingered a moment afterwards.
"Want any?"
"No."
"I'll bring you some anyway," Joey retorted. "See you in a few."
Kaiba watched Joey leave, and wondered about the answer to his question. He had to ignore the fluttering of nervousness in his belly as he returned to his book. He hadn't realized how different it already felt, and he looked at the boy sleeping on the couch. The boy that he'd be seeing around his house all the time now, the boy whose father was going to be sharing his bed with...
It felt much stranger than he had anticipated, but at the same time, it was... warming. He smiled. For once he didn't know what to expect when he woke up in the morning. It wasn't a bad feeling.
"Fine, how about I call you Asshole – is that better?" Joey snapped.
"That's the pot calling the kettle black," Seto replied sharply. "It's hard to paint me as the bad guy when you're the one slinging obscenities."
They were standing in Kaiba's den, staring each other down.
Apparently, it would have been wiser if Kaiba had listened to his inner pessimism.
One week. Life had lived up to Kaiba's silly hopes for one week; they had been living together for three. Those other two weeks... Well, sometimes Kaiba wondered if they had ever really gotten along at all, or if it had all been a very convincing illusion. So he was exaggerating – even to himself – but sometimes he did wonder what exactly he had been thinking when he suddenly decided that Joey was bed-worthy.
They started fighting. Maybe fighting came with that whole domestic thing, but from Kaiba's understanding, domestic arguments weren't supposed to end with one party shouting at the top of their lungs and storming out. They were supposed to end with one party admitting they were wrong, they were sorry, and then everyone pretended it never happened. At least, that was how it happened on TV, and Kaiba didn't have any real-life role models of a happy home life.
Kaiba wasn't sure who yelled more. All he knew was that he liked it a lot better when Joey was screaming in bed than when he was screaming in anger. At least twice Joey had stormed out with a dramatic "fuck you!" Once he had even thrown Kaiba's keys at him... But in all instances he had returned twenty minutes later to apologize. And then, like all those unsteady TV couples, they 'fixed' the problem by having sex and pretending nothing had happened... only to fight again a few days later – sometimes less.
There were lots of little fights, but the biggest one – the one that never seemed to get resolved or leave them be – was about what Joey called him... or rather, what Joey wouldn't call him. At some point Kaiba had realized that they had been in some form of a relationship for nearly three months, and Joey was still calling him by his surname, even in bed. Not that Kaiba liked gratuitous use of his first name, but there were some situations where he would have preferred it, and with a lover was definitely right up there.
Maybe he was just angry because he had conceded where Joey wouldn't, or maybe because it just felt so... detached. Figured – one of the few times he didn't want someone at arms length, that someone wasn't willing to pulled in. Of course, Joey wouldn't even give Kaiba a straight reason for WHY he was averse to calling him 'Seto.'
"Sir?" a timid voice followed an unheeded knock on the den door, and both men turned away from each other to glare at the housekeeper as she peered in. "There's a phone call for Mr. Wheeler," she said nervously.
There was only one person who had the balls to call Joey at the house –
What happened to home?
– and Joey left Kaiba in the middle of their rage to answer.
Yugi.
Kaiba went to his desk, fumbling through papers to find something to do, something to occupy himself with, calm himself down. What he found was an unopened letter from Mokuba; he had gotten it at work that afternoon, but never found the free moment to read it. It seemed a good a time as any; maybe it would help his nerves.
Hi Seto!
And right off the bat, a reminder of why he was so angry. Damn it, Joey! He was even able to infiltrate Kaiba's thoughts when he was trying to forget.
How's Domino treating you?
Shitty.
Life's good here; the kids have been awesome, and I guess spring is in the air – people have been adopting left, right, and center! I met the best girl, too. She's so hot! Her name is Mei. I'll have to send you pictures sometime; she's really shy, so it's hard to get her in front of a camera.
Speaking of relationships, how are things with Joey? I bet that kid of his is tearing things up. And you two are losing your minds, right? Just kidding. It's just so crazy. You guys are just the strangest people to have hooked up; if we found all the people you went to school with and told them, I bet they'd FLIP. Well, it's only five years until the next reunion, I think; can you guys hold out?
Not likely.
Well, I have places to be. Give me a call sometime, big brother – you're no stranger to the phone! And tell Joey and Alex I said hi. And everyone else.
And take care of yourself, okay?
Love, Mokuba
(PS: Are Yugi and Tea still out of town, or did they come back?)
That hadn't helped at all.
Kaiba had been hoping that Mokuba would somehow have the foresight not to mention Joey – not that he could expected the younger to be a mind-reader; they both had an equal disbelief of clairvoyance, but it could have come in mighty handy right then. If only some of the optimism of Mokuba's letter would just rub off on him; that would be nice.
And Yugi...! If his life had been a reality show, Kaiba had a sinking feeling that he would be the one voted off against the diminutive man. If Yugi called, Joey always dropped what he was doing to answer; the only time he hadn't, it was because they were in bed. At least once a week Yugi had issues with his new manager and asked Joey to take over. Hell, Kaiba was willing to bet his life that was why Yugi had called; the recreational calls never came before dinner.
"I'm gonna go, Kaiba," Joey said, standing in the doorway and pulling on his jacket. He looked like he had calmed down, but that was no shock. He always calmed down after getting off the phone with Yugi. Either out of jealousy or because he simply wasn't ready to let their argument drop yet again, Kaiba felt the burning need to retaliate. He wanted nothing to do with Joey's calmness, not when the blond had him so damn angry.
"Fine, Wheeler." He didn't need to emphasize the name; the fact that he had used it at all was enough for Joey to stare at him in shock, mouth fallen slightly open.
"Huh?"
"I said okay."
"Not that."
Kaiba refused to answer; Joey could figure it out on his own for all he cared – and he was sure that he cared too much.
"Fuck it," Joey snapped when he didn't receive a response. "I don't know why I let you have your way so often."
Have my way...?
Joey was gone before Kaiba could demand an explanation, leaving him even angrier. If Joey thought that was supposed to be an end to their argument, then he had another thing coming. Kaiba would be waiting when he got home, and he would get an answer to what the hell was going on. He was tired of it already; tired of arguing, tired of not knowing why they were arguing at all.
It was hard to figure out what was worse: that a good thing was coming to an inevitable bad end, or that Kaiba had been foolish enough to invite it into his life.
Kaiba found Joey sitting out on some old patio furniture later that night. It was a crisp spring night, and Joey's eyes were focused up at the sky, so much like the night when they had first really kissed. Difference was, Kaiba knew what was to come wouldn't be nearly as pleasant – at least, not to start with.
"Do I even want to know what you mean when you say you let me have my way? I don't recall ever really winning any of our fights," Kaiba said smoothly, none of the gentleness he had come to use with Joey in his voice.
Joey heaved a sigh. "Forget it," he mumbled. "I was just mad, okay? I don't think so logically when I'm mad."
"Joey, you're always mad about something. Even I've never been such an asshole, not to the people I give a damn about."
"You're an asshole to me," Joey replied, narrowing his eyes as Kaiba moved to stand in front of the sitting blond, glaring down at him.
"When? Give me a specific incident where I did anything without you instigating me, and I'll back down." Kaiba's voice was rapidly rising to a yell.
Joey blinked and looked away. "Look – "
"No," Kaiba interrupted. "I don't know what's going on in your head, but I bet you're still hung up on this whole gay thing." Kaiba fumed and fought to keep his voice down as he asked, "What is it going to take for you to stop looking at me as some grand experiment and start seeing me for what I am?" Joey was silent, still refusing to meet Kaiba's eyes. "Answer me."
"And what are you?" Joey shot back, facing Kaiba.
"I'm your lover! What else would I be?"
Joey gestured dramatically with his hands, as though that could convey his frustration better than words. "Lover, lover, what the hell is that? 'Lover' is a fancy way to say 'someone you fuck on a regular basis'! Where the hell are we supposed to go from 'lovers'? Nowhere! Where could we go? Do we just live out the rest of our days, shacked up in some queer fairy tale? I don't understand!"
Kaiba saw it coming before he ever spoke –they weren't going to resolve anything, and it would be another night that Joey stormed out. Another night that they would end in bed, with Joey curled against him and murmuring apologies.
"Why do you have to understand?" Kaiba asked. I don't want to understand at all; if I try to understand, I'll know how ridiculous this all really is. "You make it sound so damn difficult to just be happy."
"Oh, is the great Seto Kaiba trying to give someone a lecture about being happy?" Joey scoffed. "At least in a normal relationship, we could – "
"Are you insinuating that this isn't normal?" Kaiba snapped.
"I...!" Joey bowed his head, almost in defeat. He was clenching the armrests of the chair he was sitting in. "This is so fucked up," he said, his voice almost a humorless chuckle.
"Well no shit."
The blond shook his head. "It's not going to work."
Something in Kaiba's head clicked, and his chest clenched. The almost victimized tone of Joey's voice caught him off guard more than anything – did Joey actually think that he was the one being wronged? And was he...
"It never really does at this point," Joey continued, and he stood so quickly that the chair fell back. He reached into his pocket and dropped something onto the patio table as he turned to storm back into the house. Kaiba looked down at the table.
A key. At least it hadn't been hurled at Kaiba's head this time.
Kaiba didn't see that coming, but he knew that it wasn't just typical routine. He didn't expect to see Joey turn back.
But he didn't stop him, either.
"Mr. Kaiba."
Kaiba looked up from the papers he was holding to find Joey stopping the elevator door. If life was a soap opera, Joey would be apologizing. Apologizing for being such an asshole, apologizing for leaving last night and taking every trace of his presence with him. And Kaiba might even be inclined to apologize too, if Joey did so first: he could apologize for holing himself up in his den and pretending he hadn't heard Joey milling about and gathering his things.
But his life wasn't a soap opera, and no one started an apology with the prefix 'mister'.
"Need something?" Kaiba asked coolly, looking back to his papers. Joey stepped into the elevator, and the doors closed. They were alone.
Why aren't you talking? Say what you're thinking.
"I'm putting in my two weeks' notice," Joey said suddenly, as though he could sense Kaiba's urging. They reached Kaiba's floor, but Kaiba didn't move right away. He had to try not to let his surprise or disappointment seep into his voice. He had stayed cold and professional under more stressful situations, he could handle something as simple as letting Joey go.
"Any reason?"
"Going to Seattle."
Of course. If only he had taken Kaiba's offer so long ago and saved them both a lot of pain.
"Fine. You can leave this afternoon."
"What?"
Kaiba didn't understand why Joey didn't sound more excited. After all, he knew that the blond couldn't stay away from Yugi for long, and wouldn't want to wait any longer than necessary. He could only wonder if he had ever been deemed so important. Consider it a parting gift. Instead of voicing the sentiment, he shrugged nonchalantly. "As you've said many times, I don't really need you around here, so you're welcome to go." Besides, it'd just be an awkward two weeks.
"Fine," Joey said curtly. "Been nice working with you."
That wasn't the best thing.
Joey didn't reach out to shake Kaiba's hand, or any other form of contact. Hell, he wasn't even looking at him.
Kaiba stepped off the elevator and let it close behind him.
notes
*hearts* to Sarasusa for the beta'ing. ^^
Fourteen chapters to get them together, and one to split them up. What a world, what a world... > Right about now, you see me getting cold feet about this whole story -- which is a pretty bad thing to do, considering we're 17 chapters into it. Hell, we're about 2/3's done, eh? I guess all the drama... Drama worries me. *hides* (lol, but for the record, we're not stopping -- it'll be a cold day in hell before we do. *thumbs up*)
I got the name of Mokuba's barely-mentioned girlfriend from here: [ http:// www.babynamesorigins.com / chinesegirls.html ] So hopefully I havent made any scary culture infringement with that. ^^;;
(because, to the horror of ashes, both Yuugi & Mokuba came out straight, and she could not get them in bed together. XD Besides, where there is a YuugixMokuba, there is usually a SetoxYami right behind it. *plot bunny*)
So this chapter is probably the weirdest one, because it goes from two extremes at once -- 'yay! fluff!' happy' to 'ah, shit!' angst. I'm not sure if it's a good or bad effect, but there's been enough fluffish stuff for a while, right? ^^;;;
..::reviewer responses from last chapter::..
Mors Laminil, Tanya Maxwell, Ranma Higurashi, gyrrlgenius: #^_^# Thankies!
ColeyCarissa: Thanks. ^^ I still don't like the edited version.
Alexander the Grand: lol, your brain ticks? Mine sounds like crickets chirping, lmao. XD Thanks -- good look with that homework! (lol, and that last line: I feel like a soap commercial now. XD)
Nenya85: lmao!! I like the term "enchantingly fucked up". XD I'm going to have to remember that one. It always amuses me, the little things that seem to go straight over Kaiba's head, but everyone else seems to catch. ^^ Arigato.
Tadashi: aww, I hope you can make it to mm.org later p'raps. ^^ I like the domestic thing too; it makes me feel all fuzzy. :)
youko-moon: lol, the idea of either of them married makes me laugh -- they always strike me as chronic bachelors, but I definitely see where they looked married. Thanks. :)
katie: lol, Gravi rocks. *thumbs up* Glad you liked it. ^^
Fire Dragon of Darkness: I agree with the edited version -- it feels like there's a giant hole in it. Which, there is. So that makes sense. I dont know, I thought they were pretty dysfunctional in a not dysfunctional way. If that makes sense. ^^;; Anyway, dysfunction happened. :) Have (or had) a good Spring Break!
Takara: Thanks. :) I fear for my eyesight, personally; I'm always on the computer. ^^;;