Chapter 3 - An Ent-counter
Day 3 of DADA. By this time, the majority of the students are dreading Gandalf's lessons. Some have braced for another day's rambling, others have come to class intentionally sleepy. Gandalf arrives, this time a full 20 minutes late. A few students have already entered REM sleep.
Gandalf: Good morning, my dear Hobbits! Have you all brought your traveling cloaks? Today I am going to introduce you all to a Hobbit's best friend (other than pipeweed, that is). Every one outside to the field before the Forbidden Forest.
Several students are woken up and they all head outside. It has become a bit chilly and, of course, no one has a traveling cloak. Most of the students are rather unhappy with this unexpected field trip.
Gandalf leads them over to the Whomping Willow. Harry and Ron try desperately to persuade him that it is really not a good idea to approach it.
Gandalf: Nonsense! I saw this Ent just the other day, thrashing about. Rather hasty for an Ent, but then again, these are hasty times. Now, if you will observe.
Gandalf approaches old Whomper.
Gandalf: Mae govannen, Quickbeam!
Whomping Willow: WHOMP!
Gandalf narrowly escapes certain death... again.
Gandalf: Certainly are hasty, old master Quickbeam!
Gales of laughter are heard from the Slytherin group. A few distinct snickers can be heard from the Gryffindor's as well.
Again, Gandalf approaches.
Harry: Gandalf, sir, if you want to approach that tree-
Gandalf: That is no tree, young Hobbit! (to Whomper) Annon edhellen, edro hi ammen!
Whomping Willow: WHOMP!
Gandalf: I have never seen a hastier Ent in all my 50,000 years! Well, perhaps it has grown rather wary in these dark days. One of you Hobbits should approach it. Ents love Hobbits, ever since I explained to Treebeard what they are, at any rate. (reminiscent laughter) He thought they were orcs! Of course, i straightened that out and once the Ent-moot was finally accomplished Treebeard and Meriadoc and Peregrin became fine friends.
Class slowly backs away toward the castle.
Gandalf: You there, Longbottom-leaf!
Neville looks dreadfully frightened.
Gandalf: (in a whisper) Haven't your parents sent along any of the Old Toby yet? This is killing me! Well, no matter... (Out loud) Now, i have heard from that very odd little Hobbit woman who teaches you all the care of plants (one of the Gamgee's, unless i miss my guess), that you, Longbottom, are very good with growing things. Perhaps Quickbeam will appreciate that in you. Go and say hello to him... just remember, do NOT be hasty.
Neville stands frozen in fear.
Gandalf gives him a little "nudge" forward.
Neville runs about under Whomper, very nearly getting whomped several times.
Gandalf: No, boy! No! What are you doing?! I said DON'T be hasty! He's not liking that at all. Though it is odd, normally Ents use their limbs as rarely as possible. Most times they just stomp whatever they don't like. Perhaps he is going tree-ish... a pity. A most useful ally are the Ents, especially in days when evil wizards are running about, attacking young Hobbits and enslaving elves.
Harry steps in under the flailing "Ent" and manages to get to the knot in the base of the tree which makes it stop whomping.
Gandalf is overjoyed.
Gandalf: That is excellent, my young Hobbit. You see, all you have to do is not be hasty. Now, let us all return to Minas Sinda.
On the way back up to the castle...
Malfoy: Just wait, we will have a new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor by our next class.
Pansy: But they can never find anyone willing to teach it. Look at this loony they had to drag out.
Malfoy: Well, maybe my father will teach us. He is more than qualified.
Harry: Yeah, Malfoy, who would know more about Dark Arts? Well, besides Voldemort i mean.
Malfoy: (with the usual sneer) Shut up, Potter. I suppose you think he is a doing a fine job, do you? Almost got your friend Longbottom killed, didnt he? Wait! Maybe i shouldnt tell father about him at all. At the rate he's going, he could have all you Mudbloods gone before the end of term!
Hermione: Well, it is unfortunate, but i do think something will have to be done. Maybe we can talk to Dumbledore about him, Harry. Perhaps he could just get him to stay to our curriculum. Those books he gave us, which you undoubtedly have yet to bother with, are fairy stories about strong and valiant elves... and as much as i think house elves deserve their rights, they are not exactly strong, valiant, or fair like these books suggest. In fact, the Silmarillion is actually nothing but the deeds of these elves.
Gandalf: (having overheard the last bit) Elves were valiant indeed, Miss Gardner!
Hermione: Granger, Mr. Gandalf.
Gandalf: Very well. I should like to meet one of these house-elves, or is that too dangerous a mission? Where are they imprisoned? Surely not Angband?
Hermione gets excited again at the prospect of help with S.P.E.W.
Hermione: Do you mean Azkaban, Mr. Gandalf? No, but i can take you to the house-elves right after supper if you want!
Gandalf: Excellent. But we must exercise caution, young Gardner. What guards them? Orcs? Dragons? A balrog??
Hermione: Nothing, sir.
Gandalf: Well, that is a relief. Very well, after supper we will pay a visit to the elves. Perhaps we can help them.
Harry pulls out of the pocket of his robes a piece of toast from earlier.
Gandalf's eyes widen.
Gandalf: Lembas! Where did you ever get lembas, young Potter?
Harry: At breakfast, sir.
Gandalf: But where did it come from, my lad?
Harry shrugs.
Harry: I dunno. I suppose the house-elves made it.
Gandalf: Of course they did! Who do you think makes lembas, the Naugrim? You are certainly eating a lot of that. Might i have just a bit? I havent tasted lembas in ages (literally).
Harry gives Gandalf a corner. Gandalf takes it and looks displeased.
Gandalf: Have they even lost their magic for making lembas? This tastes like nothing more than a bit of toasted bread!
Harry shakes his head.
Harry: (to Ron) I wonder if we are going to learn anything about defending ourselves against evil.
Ron: Maybe he thinks that the best defense is frightening your enemy away with complete lunacy.