Chapter 5 - Shelob Lives!
The next morning our good old Gandalf decides to find out what has happened to the beloved wood elves. Naturally, he heads out toward the Forbidden Forest, where else would wood elves shelter.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione spot him striding determinedly across the grounds.
Harry: He isnt going into that forest alone? What is he going to look for in there? Ron, if he runs into your dad's car, he's probably going to mistake it for a "oliphant" or something.
Hermione: I agree with Harry. I think we better go with him, he could get into serious trouble.
Ron: Isnt it better for a several thousand year old wizard to get into trouble than us?
Hermione: Ron! He is unstable. What if something happens to him?
Ron: Does it matter? It's not like we are learning anything in his class as it is.
Hermione: Would you rather they bring back Professor Umbridge?
Ron heads for the door.
Ron: Hurry up already! And Harry, bring your cloak.
They all run out of the castle just in time to catch up with Gandalf at the edge of the woods.
Gandalf: Well, good morning, my young Hobbits. Seeking an adventure are you?
Harry: We thought we had better go with you, Mr. Gandalf. We have all been in here before, and you havent.
Gandalf: That is true, though it is strange. I suppose i have been too busy planning your important lessons to have an enjoyable afternoon strolling through these lovely trees.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione look at each other as if to incredulously say "important? Lovely??"
Into the Forbidden Forest they go. Ron trembles as he remembers the incident with the spiders.
Ron: (in a tense whisper) Harry! What about the spiders?!
Gandalf turns suddenly, having heard the remark about spiders.
Gandalf: (in a concerned whisper) Spiders?
Ron shakes his head nervously.
Gandalf: Young Hobbit, you have encountered these spiders before?
Ron: (squeaks out) Y-y-yes.
Gandalf grips Ron's shoulder.
Gandalf: You must tell me what you saw! Describe these spiders! At once, young Hobbit!
Ron: (completely white now) It was... big.... very, very big.
Gandalf: Shelob! This has happened before to the wood elves, we must help them. Onward Hobbits!
Harry: Actually, Mr. Gandalf, it's name is Aragog.
Gandalf: How has Aragorn gotten into this mess?! Silly rangers!
Gandalf is now fairly running through the trees.
Gandalf: Keep up, Hobbits! The fate of the wood elves is at stake! Evil King Thranduil can not fight this force of ungols with only Legolas's amazing and almost super-elven skills as protection.
Gandalf suddenly freezes mid-flight. Ron blanches and emits a terrified wail. Harry and Hermione just stand there. They have met Aragog.
Gandalf draws Glamdring and his staff.
Gandalf: Stay back, foul beast!
Aragog: These children have wandered into my lair before, but you who speaks so pompously i have never met. Are you friend to Hagrid too?
Gandalf: I have heard of this fellow from my students. (Gandalf goes off into another fit of anecdotality.) I suppose he is some relative to old Beorn...
Harry: Gandalf! We should really go... NOW!
Gandalf: (obliviously) Now, speak to me, foul ungol! What has become of the wood elves? Obviously this Hobbit school is located at the edge of Mirkwood. Now how did Shelob escape Samwise's final blow?
Spiders close in around them. Eyeing them multiple times, hungrily.
Gandalf: I see you have come to thrive in this wood. Now, lead me to King Thranduil, you impetuous spider!
Ron: (with an extreme case of nerves) I don't know about that idea, Mr. Gandalf... can we just go now? Please?????
Harry, Ron, and Hermione break into a frantic run away from the spiders. Gandalf stands there arguing with Aragog for a while, flinging back his children with his staff. After a few hours of this (and a few impromptu tales about spiders in Mirkwood) Gandalf convinces himself that the elves of Mirkwood have left and taken up residence in the Shire in the Old Forest.