Chapter 6 - The Incident with the Palantir
Next DADA class. Ron is still recovering from the outing in the Forbidden Forest. Hermione is completely torn, not knowing whether Gandalf is a genius or a madman. Harry, Harry has put up with it all before and has become totally jaded. Neville is still pretty suspicious about going anywhere near the classroom.
Gandalf enters, this time a new record half-way through the class.
Gandalf: Mae govannen, little Hobbits! It seems in your accounting of time we have but little time left for our lessons. Now, we must all go quickly. Long have i wondered about that northern tower. I had a very strange suspicion that i might find one of the lost seeing stones (which are not all accounted for). And such is what i have found. You must all come with me so that you know what to avoid.
Class looks around at each other, exchanging glances something to the effect of "not Trelawney!"
Gandalf: Mr. Weasley, i must request before we go that you absolutely DO NOT look into the palantir. I have had that trouble once already, and once in 30,000 years is more than enough.
Harry: Mr. Gandalf, how did you manage to get into Trelawney's tower? I highly doubt she would ever let anyone in there between classes.
Gandalf: My young Hobbit, there are many things about wizards you do not know. As Gildor once said to little Frodo, "Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger."
Harry growls. Whether more at being called a Hobbit (which he has recently learned, from Hermione, are three feet tall, have curly hair, and huge, furry feet) or at being told he doesnt know much about wizards, it is not easy to say.
Gandalf: This "Voldemort" Saruman you have spoken of, does he possess a palantir? Your potions teacher, some long while ago, threw Saruman's at me and i restored it to King Elessar (why Grima Wormtongue is permitted to teach you young Hobbits...). But it is possible that he has found another. If he has, it is very dangerous to look into. He may be watching.
The class, who has totally tuned out his ramblings, follows Gandalf up to the tower and Gandalf proceeds to barge right into the middle of a divination session.
Trelawney stands up, outraged at Gandalf's impoliteness.
Trelawney: How dare you interrupt this class?! I was just reading tea leaves which seem to suggest that you (points dramatically at Gandalf) are about to meet a most... strange doom!
Gandalf: My dear, insane woman, i must confiscate this palantir you have been using. Do you know the danger having that object in here poses? And around all these young Hobbits!
Trelawney: The only danger here is you, you old lunatic!
Gandalf: You have seen the mind of Saruman! He controls your will. I must wrest this tool of evil away from you, woman! I have not battled a balrog and faced an army of gollums to bandy barmy words with a complete nutter like you, as these young Hobbits would say.
The Defense Against the Dark Arts class and the Divination class stand caught between awe and hilarity, watching this loony showdown. The Divination students have been waiting for this, since there were really mixed feelings about Trelawney's removal last year due to Umbridge's involvement.
Gandalf jumps for the palantir.
But Trelawney blocks!
Gandalf ducks and makes a quick save.
Trelawney blocks left but Gandalf... no! Gandalf goes right and catches the snitch... um, palantir.
Grabbing one of numerous shawls randomly tossed around the room, Gandalf shrouds the palantir and jumps down from the tower room, running at a sprint, Trelawney close behind.
Gandalf bursts out of the castle, having now attracted a huge crowd.
He runs for the lake. Trelawney's scream pierces the beautiful sunny afternoon as Gandalf lobs her fortune-teller ball thingy into the watery depths, thereby ending the palantir terror.
Trelawney stands frozen in horror for a few moments before launching an attack.
Trelawney: (pulling out her rarely used wand sends a few spells forth) "Stupefy!" "Accio staff!" "Petrificus Totalus!"
Gandalf stands perfectly calm in front of a raging Trelawney, gripping his ever-trusty staff.
Gandalf: I do not wish to use my awesome Maia power against a lady. Now please step aside, Madame Treloony. The danger of that palantir is gone for now, and no more shall your mind be controlled by Saruman!
Trelawney is in such a rage that she is babbling incoherently at the top of her voice. The large crowd that was drawn has started to back away in utter terror and a few professors have come forward, attempting to help. They too back away rather quickly though.
Trelawney starts hurling spells without discrimination. Now "stupefy", now "orchideous" until there is a lawn full of stunned students and professors covered with flowers.
After a great deal of "ennervate" and "evanesco" the scene is put to right again, though placating Trelawney will be another matter. She ends up in hospital wing receiving sedatives from Madam Pomfrey for about three weeks. After which Madam Pomfrey gives up and administers a good old fashioned "obliviate" charm.
Of course, it is never actually revealed that Madam Trelawney's episode was all Gandalf's fault. As usual, he does not actually visit her in hospital, opting instead to shirk yet another responsibility.